


No Violins Allowed

by Alienea



Series: I can’t believe you guys made a musical about my trauma [3]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Eldritch Occurrences, F/F, Gen, M/M, Self-Harm, and continue to bury myself in my work, and we say thank you orcamermaid for your service, canon-typical alcohol, good news: at 13k words they interacted, i will not get emotionally injured if we all die in a horrifying eldritch rainbow, in chapter 19, look its all the mechs i will add them as they appear, lyf and marius: and we will take more than 7k words to interact, lyf: and if i avoid socializing with anyone, lyf: no. no. this system had no violins in it. i was safe, mechs all on the comms who will lyf talk to now, mechs appearing over the horizon: >;3c, more than 9k words to interact. sorry., now updated with fun tense consistency edits through chapter 8, sure dude but you're gonna run into other problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:28:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 116,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alienea/pseuds/Alienea
Summary: Lyf had been having a very peaceful and fulfilling few decades, at least in terms of work fulfillment and being able to afford to bail out of the system at the very first moment anything happened.So of course that was when the Mechanisms appeared over the horizon.
Relationships: Background Raphaella La Cognizi/Ivy Alexandria, Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum, The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina
Series: I can’t believe you guys made a musical about my trauma [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661734
Comments: 365
Kudos: 536
Collections: Stowaways' Shenanigans





	1. Chapter 1

Weird space transmissions were fairly common, in this star system. Lyf wasn’t quite sure why that was—perhaps something to do with its location, or a peculiar property of how the stars were aligned—but they were usually unintelligible by the time they were heard. Data degradation: a cold, hard fact of the universe. It had plagued New Midgard and the Transport Police when Lyf had still been Inspector Lyfrassir Edda, Second Class, and it was still a problem now. A worse problem, really, when the signals from Lyf’s star system were, as he had been sure to impress upon those he could, at best useless and at worst dangerous, but they mingled with the signals from other star systems rather too readily for Lyf’s liking.

Besides, everyone was mostly amazed that he was from the Yggdrasil System. Apparently there had been a running fairy tale that the Yggdrasil System wasn’t really populated. Or was populated by ghosts. Or strange and squamous things, which, to be fair, it was now. It did mean that no one questioned Lyf’s oddities, filing it all under his birth system and leaving well enough alone.

In any case, keeping track of weird space transmissions was their job now. It kept their escape ship full of fuel and in good working order, just in case they got another black box transmission crossing their desk. At least this time it would actually be their job, instead of a weird, out-of-place assignment in the middle of hunting down a smuggling ring. 

So Monitor Lyfrassir Edda was not really expecting to be looking at their computer with despair on a morning of their third decade working for their new bosses. What had been a nice, quiet job, monitoring incoming transmissions that looked to be from sentient beings outside the star system and weren’t from known star systems, was about to get incredibly annoying, incredibly quickly. Perhaps they should’ve put more time into socializing with their coworkers instead of refusing to form attachments in case they had to dip unexpectedly from the star system.

Too late to worry about that now.

His boss had sent him a simple request: could he identify anything about this weird package? His desk had a folder placed on it, in which were contained two actually fairly well designed flyers. Apparently they had come from an unknown source from somewhere in space. The first flyer, glossy black with a splash of rainbow in the center, almost ripping through, reminded Lyf uneasily of the Bifrost. The second flyer invoked the same uneasiness with a steel blue background and a well drawn train peeking out from a golden ring with rainbow colors inside centered on the flyer. Lyf sighed, and gently slid the flyers back into the folder.

Apparently, shortly after that transmission of actual physical flyers, another one had been sent. It contained dates and times with no physical destination, emblazoned with the symbol Lyf remembered seeing on the Mechanisms’ _fucking_ spaceship before some of them had been caught and the rest had gone quiet.

He decided now was an appropriate time to crawl under his desk and groan, to the consternation of the nearby coworkers, who stood around Lyf and made concerned noises. He ignored them in favor of trying to decide if it was best to leave the system now, before the Mechanisms started causing chaos that was, once again, going to be his problem. They didn’t even have violins in this system. That was at the top of their list of “Why This Star System Is Good And I Should Like It“ right up there with “the language wasn’t too hard to learn” and “within the range of the Hoddmímis Mining Colony”. Farther down the list was “so far not curious about how long I’m living“.

So Lyf gave himself a good five minutes of bemoaning his fate before he got back out from under the desk and assured their coworkers that no, they were fine, just had a sudden case of emotions. The dates weren’t all that far off. They had maybe a week to get resigned to this fate, not enough time to get out of the star system.

They sent an email back up to their boss, outlining the trouble the Mechanisms had caused in Yggdrasil, before giving up halfway through and just digging through their old files to attach the full record for later perusal. Lyf emphasized that the Mechanisms could only be contained if they wanted to be, and pointed out that despite the decades of effort New Midgard Transport Police had put into containing them, the moment things had gone wrong they had escaped without any apparent effort.

Then he decided to take the rest of the day off and just go for a spa day. Relax. Clean up his whole ship and start stocking it for an emergency escape just in case the Mechanisms were somehow preceding another world-ending event. There was only one data point to work off of, but it did suggest that it was not a great sign that the Mechanisms had shown up. This time, he could get a head start out of the system. With more than incredibly minimal rations and life support. A nice, full fuel tank, and as much media as could possibly be loaded in. They weren’t going to make the same mistakes, thank you very much. Only all-new mistakes for Former Inspector Second Class, Current Monitor Lyfrassir Edda.

All-new mistakes like checking his email again before leaving the office and seeing that because he had previous experience with the Mechanisms, his boss was assigning him to attempt to corral them and determine where they would be, and what the dates and times meant. And he got a new title out of it, Head of Band Communication. Damn the read receipt system that meant they couldn’t leave and pretend they’d never seen it. They dragged themself out of their chair, and dragged their sad, reluctant body up a floor and into his boss’s office to explain that it was the worst possible idea to put them in charge of this problem and in fact you know how you have wanted me to take leave for the past decade? Well, I’m going to do it now.

Lyf stared at the department regulations. Damn. He really did have to submit for leave at least two weeks in advance unless it was emergency leave, and there was no way she was going to believe he was taking emergency leave after an hour-long argument. So that was a plan down the drain. Lyf was stuck with the job, and thus stuck staring at their computer screen until it finished updating with the capability to use time on satellites to send out messages in the vague direction of the flyers.

He was pretty sure his coworkers were taking bets on how much of what passed for coffee here he was going to drink before the day was out. It was amazing how quickly the old headache and exhaustion of dealing with the Mechanisms returned to Lyf. How did you even open a message to those three maniacs? 

**Do not.**

**Adding extra concert date immediately as per request, fuck you**

**Also, the concert is now.**

Lyf looked at his computer in despair as it — no. Those assholes. No. Lyf frantically tried to lower the volume and was sadly unsurprised when the volume was unaffected even by removal of the speakers. What was this music even about? What the hell was a Camelot? Who were these people being sung about and more importantly they didn’t recognise the voices which meant _there were more Mechanisms_. 

This was the nightmare scenario. Lyf resigned themself to wearing earplugs as he continued this communication. Regrettably, their coworkers had now discovered the sound of a violin and appeared to be enjoying it. 

**Can we please receive information on where the concerts are to take place?**

**On a planet.**

**More specifically?**

**I’m not a narc fuck off what are you a space cop**

**Previously a Transport Officer but no not anymore**

**Shit you’re not allowed anywhere near us Marius is still a mopey fucker no locations for you bye**

Lyf watched their computer turn itself off and keep on playing music, and he decided to just go home for the day. They wanted a nap so badly. They knuckled at their eyes and almost swore that they could feel eyebags forming as they realized the sheer lack of sleep available in the future. So there was nothing for it but to try and get a head start on sleep now, even if that’s not how accumulating sleep debt works. They slapped a fresh cover on their pillow and let dreams drag them down.

Their dreams hadn’t been restful since they first saw the black box. Full of rainbow light and sometimes a faint, faint singing from Odin, they think, in the distance. In their worst moments, it sounds like peace and welcome and home, and they wake up longing for a home that only exists in the Bifrost now. But there’s something soothing, in the rainbow light, in the knowledge that no matter what is happening in the waking world, he is not here, and he will not go back. Sadly, tonight, the music was snippets of what he heard from his computer, the stress of his job following him even into sleep, and chasing him back into wakefulness, and his phone beeping steadily with messages. Fuck.

Was it incredibly rude to turn off your phone when your boss was contacting you but you wanted to go back to sleep? Yes. Was Lyfrassir definitely in trouble at work now? Also yes. Had they gotten the closest to a lovely night’s sleep they’d had in ages? Yes. So Lyfrassir did not feel any regret when he finally got into work in the late morning, a large thermos of coffee at his side, ready to be consumed within the hour. So walking into work to immediately find his boss at his workspace was not, necessarily, unexpected, and neither was being pulled into an office for a quiet talk.

“Edda, you can’t just leave work and then not respond to messages when you get here—” Their boss checked a clock. “Three hours late.”

Lyf took a long swig of the coffee.

“Lyfrassir. You’ve been a great employee. Please respond to me.”

Lyf took another long swig of coffee and briefly regretted that they hadn’t spiked it.

“You can’t just open communication with people with ‘do not’, Edda.”

“It’s the only language they understand, besides smashing violins and yelling shut up, and anyways, if you think you’re getting anything out of them that they don’t want you to know, you’re wrong.” Lyf punctuated his statement with another swig of coffee. “Also, I did send you their dossier. Which apparently isn’t complete, since the music that was played included more voices that I couldn’t identify! So I’m no longer the expert and I should get to go back to my normal job.” His boss sighed.

“No. It’s still your job. We’ve brought in another computer for you to use. Get to it, Edda.” His boss gently pushed him out of her office and closed the door behind him. Lyf sighed. They supposed after a nice few peaceful decades this was about their luck, to have to deal with the Mechanisms again. They slid into their desk chair and groaned. Their computer was, indeed, something close to functioning again. Regrettably they had messages from the Mechanisms. So Lyfrassir made a choice to do some at-work socializing only to find that all of their coworkers were studiously looking away.

Bastards.

**I’m not backreading all of that, what do you want?**

**:(**

**I just want to find good concert locations. The requirements are alcohol, large,**

**good sound system**

**Well you didn’t want to tell me anything about what you were doing. So.**

**That’s not fair! That was Jonny. I promise that I will not fuck with your computer.**

Lyf groaned and let their head thunk onto their desk. They couldn’t handle this. Who was talking to them now? Who the hell was Jonny? How many goddamn Mechanisms were there?

**Fine. Will send coordinates later today. Who the hell is this?**

**I’m the Drumbot :)**

**Brian**

**Great. Lovely to meet you. Will get back to you when locations found.**

**Great good luck getting me instead of anyone else have a nice day bye!**

The screen went blank again and Lyf resigned themself to researching concert locations and running them by their boss until they'd found a venue to unload those maniacs onto.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chaos intensifies and i apologise for violin ascii art that is definitely not going to render anywhere. i tried for like ten minutes and then i decided that marius definitely didnt put that much thought into it and i wasn't going to either.
> 
> also this is where the violence kicks in

Marius moped. This was not actually what he had been spending all of his time doing, despite what Jonny said. He had spent a decent amount of time being creative! And murdering! Creatively murdering Jonny for complaining about his mood! Contributing to the new album and creatively murdering the whole crew for teasing!

Besides, Jonny had been the closest to cranky and moping he’d ever admitted to being for almost a century after Old King Cole’s war when he hadn’t been able to pick up a stray. And then he  _ and _ Tim had been murderous and mopey after the Moon War for so long that they’d still been murderous and mopey when he’d come aboard, and getting that story out of Ashes and Nastya had been a fucking nightmare, so really, Marius hadn’t gone beyond the realm of the reasonable for being occasionally sad a few decades on.

He’d spent decades trying to annoy Lyfrassir Edda out of the police force so that he could admit that he thought Lyf was hot, and then he’d probably died a cop! And then Ashes had found out that Marius thought a cop was hot and it just went downhill and now there was a whole section of the album that was making fun of Marius’s definitely non-existent crush despite all the murder he had done to try and get it edited out. Sure, if Lyfrassir had escaped and then was no longer a cop, they would’ve been really hot. And cute. But fundamentally, by being a cop, Lyfrassir had ensured that Marius was never going to say those words out loud.

“Hey.” Marius looked up from his mandolin tuning and saw Brian knocking on the door frame. “Your turn to get a chance at the comms. I think it’s the same person that got their computer infected by Jonny. Stop moping and go back to practicing or I’ll be the one shooting you in the middle of the concert.” 

Marius scowled and shot Brian in the leg. “I’m not moping!”

“My fridge! I was hiding Jonny’s good whiskey in there!” Brian went for his gun.

Marius woke up on the floor with a headache and blood drying in his hair. So Brian was currently in bastard mode. Good to know. He dragged himself off the floor, picked up his mandolin, and slumped into the pilot’s room, where Brian was dead in the corner with the remnants of Jonny’s whiskey leaking out of his open leg-fridge. Marius shoved him out the door and sat down in the chair. Fuck. Someone had removed the padding from the chair and replaced it with spikes. They weren’t even acupunctural spikes. Just random.

An octokitten dropped from the ceiling and started trying to eat Marius’s mandolin. He shot it and another started eating its fallen comrade. Which was fair, Jonny did that all the time, so he let it do its business. Backreading the messages showed nothing interesting. He wasn’t emotionally ready to start making fun of a new person yet. Especially not a former Transport Officer. He was just too raw still. And also, thinking a cop was maybe cute if he would stop being a cop was a one-off and he was not getting back into that with a former cop.

So he sent a message that was just a gigantic ASCII violin and ditched the comm room, taking the cannibalistic octokitten with him to show to Raphaella, who had sworn that octokittens would only commit cannibalism as a last resort. He’d show her. And it was doing a great job of cleaning up the blood from his back! Although that wasn’t technically cannibalism unless the octokittens had undergone some really striking mutations since the last time Marius had been lectured about them by Tim.

“Raphaella! I have a cannibalistic octokitten! I have disproved your hypothesis because I know that Tim has been feeding them without Jonny finding the feeding stations for at least the last week.”

“Actually, Jonny destroyed them today, so it’s possible they’re just turning to cannibalism early. I’m waiting for a report by the stowaways.”

Marius frowned. “It’s also been drinking my blood, is that normal?” He tried to pull the octokitten off his back, but it was now latched on with mouth and tentacles. “Raph? It’s a bit stuck? Your possible pre-desperation cannibal octokitten? I think it’s gotten a taste for my blood?” He heard a gunshot, and sadly, it didn’t even kill him. So now he was lying on the floor with a stomach wound and an octokitten eating him.

“Interesting! They haven’t aggressively gone after us like that before, even when injured!” Raphaella leaned over Marius and grinned. “You are helping progress science, von Raum!” She picked up his mandolin. “So I’ll clean your mandolin for you.”

Marius flipped her off, and subsequently lost his finger. The octokitten had apparently decided his stomach made for a great new home, so the purring was an interesting counterpoint to the excruciating pain. Maybe he could get a song out of that.

Or maybe now that it was in front of him he could finally get his gun and kill the octokitten and keep on lying down while he waited to heal. Raphaella frowned at him from above.

“That was going to be an interesting experiment, Marius. And now I’m going to have to wait to find another bloodthirsty octokitten. Without upsetting Tim or Ivy.” Marius used his other hand to flip her off again, and lost that middle finger as well. “Oh, wait!” She reached down and lifted the octokitten out. It was still moving, albeit weakly.

“The fucker’s still alive?” Marius frowned and went for his gun again.

“Don’t you dare. I’m keeping this one.” Raph tossed the octokitten into a tank and turned back to Marius. “If you’re going to lie there, can I get you to let me take some samples?” She moved to stand over him with a scalpel and a grin. “Just to see if anything in the octokitten’s saliva is doing anything to your flesh, do some general experiments...”

Marius sighed. “Sure. Go for it. Just hand me my mandolin so I can practice while you do.”

Raphaella handed over his mandolin, and he spent the next hour practicing on the floor of her lab, compensating for his missing fingers and wincing as his organs grew back into place just to get nicked by Raphaella’s scalpel and placed into small test tubes. The octokitten slid out of the tank and headed for the rafters, and as Marius finally walked out of the lab, he entertained himself by wondering how long it would take for Raphaella to notice.

“Marius! Have You Heard? The Wonderful Head Of Band Communication is Former—” the Toy Soldier was tackled out of the doorway by Tim as Marius woke up, having finally finished healing.

“Nothing important is happening!” Tim leaned out of the doorway and whispered something at the Toy Soldier that Marius couldn’t hear. “We just got some great locations for concerts! Sadly, we also got a list of things we shouldn’t do and it did include murder. And violin playing. So we’re going to ignore that.” Tim’s grin looked almost as wooden as the Toy Soldier’s.

Marius squinted at him. “I’ve missed something.”

“You’ve missed something!” Tim nodded. “Should’ve actually taken your comms shift if you wanted to know.” Marius stood up and drew his gun.

“I can just go read it right now.”

“Jonny axed the console and Nastya is fixing it right now so actually you can’t. Want to come to practice instead? We need to really get the Thor and Loki voices down after all! We’re performing in just a few days!” Tim stood up and dusted himself off. “So don’t worry about it.”

“Toy Soldier? Will I like whatever information is being kept from me when I find out about it?” The Toy Solider stood up from behind Tim and nodded.

“Oh I Think You Will Find It A Quite Enjoyable Experience! But Tim Here Has Said That I Am Not Allowed To Say Anything More, Sorry!” It saluted at Tim and marched off. “I Will Go Inform Everyone Else Tim!”

So Marius let Tim drag him to practice and run through their new album. Or at least the songs that the two of them sang in. Halfway through, Ashes came in dragging Jonny, and a little after that Brian followed the music, which led to Ivy and Raphaella coming to figure out where everyone was, and they managed to get a full run-through, despite breaks for shooting whenever someone started to snicker at Marius, which happened... depressingly often. He was going to have to backread through the logs or figure out how to get around whatever orders the Toy Soldier had been given.

Or both, probably. Especially if Ashes had been the one giving the orders; they were depressingly good at getting rid of loopholes and being emphatic. Still, there was a chance! Marius ducked out of the room and went to investigate, ignoring the catcalls and gunshots that followed him.

“Enjoy trying to backread, Marius! I used all the dick jokes I know,” Jonny called from behind him.

“Fuck you, Jonny!”  
“Ew.”

Marius ducked around a corner and started running from Jonny and his frankly too-accurate aim. It didn’t take  _ too _ long to lose him in the ship’s corridors, by simple expedient of being tall enough to shimmy through the air shafts and cunning enough to just drop down after Jonny had gone past instead of trying to muffle his arm in the vent.

“Thanks, Aurora.” He patted the wall. “You make for a good hiding place.” A screen dropped down from the ceiling.

**You are welcome, Marius. Nastya has fixed my comms screen, but we have both agreed it is more amusing if you are unaware. Sorry ;)**

“I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to use a winky face, Aurora . . .” Marius kept on walking. Maybe he could still send some messages even if the Aurora was ganging up on him. The screen swung around back in front of him and he stopped.

**You’re banned from the comms room.**

“That’s not fair! What if I promise not to backread? Or read at all? What if I promise to just send another piece of violin ASCII art and then leave immediately?” The Aurora hummed around Marius.

**I suppose. I will resend the violin ASCII art for you. You will experience emotions when you find out what is going on! So you should make sure you have a few days free to do that when you find out.**

**:)**

**Also you fucked up the violin**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eventually Lyf and Marius will interact knowingly. Eventually. I promise. They just keep on doing plot things first. It's not my fault. I do not control the them.

Lyf groaned at his computer screen. His coworkers had ripped the music files from the other day and were all listening to the Mechanisms’ singing. He was getting very tired of the humming, and the knowledge that this star system was no longer ignorant of violins. Or at least of the sounds they made. In a day they were going to find out about violins. He had only been aware of the Mechanisms being in system for a few days before he had been sent violin ASCII art, and they knew it was not going to get better. They weren’t sure, but from typing styles, it seemed like there were at least 5, perhaps more Mechanisms.

Ignoring the ASCII violins that were accompanied by no typing style, just a gigantic fuck-off violin that he had to scroll through. Probably from von Raum, the fucker, although who knew which of the typing styles was actually him. La Cognizi had definitely been amused at his anger over the ASCII art and had actually identified herself, so at least there was that. It made it easier to negotiate when you could type the other party’s name and convey exasperation by using it.

**What is the possibility of no deaths during the concert, La Cognizi?**

**Mmmmmm low to zero! But just tell people that there’s a real chance of death and then it’s part of the experience, Inspector!**

**Anyways if you’re lucky it won’t be anyone in the audience. Maybe set up some bulletproof glass though! Although that would mess with the acoustics and Tim would blow it up so no, nevermind.**

**But honestly during concerts we commit very few legal crimes! Physics crimes, yes. Legal crimes, we are too busy singing, Inspector!**

**Right. I hate this. Do you all need anything for the concert to avoid you all leaving and stealing what you need?**

**Nope! We come with our own instruments and sound equipment as you very well know.**

And then, later, from the one who identified himself as Brian:

**Looking forward to the concert and meeting you Head of Band Communication Lyf >:)**

**I have heard only funny and good things about you! Did you really shoot a violin ten times?**

**... Legally speaking I do not have to answer that.**

**Did Raphaella and Ivy and Marius tell you about my cooking? I will bring you your baked good of choice if you tell me. I need to make fun of Marius.**

**Oh, well, if it’s for a good cause- no. A former officer of the law needs a larger bribe than that.**

**Besides that’s slander I’ve done a lot more than shoot his stupid violins. Tell him that if he starts trying to sing at me again I am no longer constrained by officer/prisoner rules and I will set him on fire.**

**Maybe he’ll finally get a better outfit and be forced to lose some of the belts. Boots do not NEED belts.**

**> :)c**

**Cool**

**Thanks for the info**

**You’re accepted into the baking club for making fun of his boot belts**

Lyf groaned. At least remembering the Mechanisms and their horrifying, horrifying outfits had gotten them into . . . a baking club? Who knew what that even meant. None of the Mechanisms that he had met had seemed like the type to enjoy baking.

One time someone claiming to be the starship even contacted him, and frankly Lyf did not know how to deal with that at all, so he was his normal vaguely polite self to the Aurora or whoever was pretending to be her. She was one of the nicer ones. Except he thought that maybe one time she had sent him a violin ASCII art.

Even though they had barely any expertise with the Mechanisms, Lyf still found themself relocated to an arena much larger than they had been aware even existed on the planet. They offered suggestions on how to keep them entertained without causing murder to happen and what sort of music they generally play. All things very far out of their expertise, but fairly far into their annoyance zone.

The worst part of it was that they were expected to do this on the next three planets that had been accepted by the Mechanisms within the star system. They did not sign up to be a volatile space pirate handler with this job, but apparently that’s what they were now!

There wasn’t even a raise.

Their headaches were worse these days, which was slightly worrisome for Lyf. They’d been particularly bad following the escape from the Bifrost, but had mostly tapered off, so the sudden return to falling asleep with a migraine most nights was an annoyance to them and to their doctor, who did not want to be prescribing quite so many pain medications, but Lyf maintained that since the pain meds were over the counter in the Yggdrasil System there was no reason for concern. He’d rattled something about differences in physiology and it wasn’t like the Yggdrasil System ever shared any medical or other information so he got out the door with his prescriptions for a completely goddamned normal pain med, thanks doctor, I’m going.

He popped two as the person in front of him explained that the Mechanisms were requesting a locking body bag “for reasons that will be amusing to us and not murderous to you”.

“Do we even— are locking body bags even a thing? I cannot think of a single instance in which you would need to prevent the person inside the body bag from exiting the body bag. Well, actually—” Lyf paused in gesturing and remembered they were not talking to officers who had investigated lots of strange transport crimes, but an intern for this amphitheatre. “In any case, if you get a seperate lock that can fit through the zipper it will be fine. Make sure that you get multiple copies of the key made.”

“Er?” The intern started to back off, clipboard clutched to their chest.

“In case we need to unlock it. Say five copies. It’s not like we don’t have the budget.” Lyf shooed them off and turned to the next intern. “Please tell me that we got the disclaimers written and now no one wants to come to the concert.” The intern shook his head.

“We’ve actually sold out, pretty much? And I wanted to know if they... wanted the money? Are we giving any of this to them? Do they ... use money, or ... because it sounded like from your report that they just walk into shops and take things?” Lyf felt his left eyelid twitching.

“Set it up in an account and we can use it to reimburse anyone they take things from, and the leftover...” Lyf sighed. “I think Alexandria mentioned that they, maybe, use gold bars? As currency? I will. Ask.”

“Okay thank you I will go now! You’ve got messages, by the way!” Lyf sat down on the floor. “Uh. Should I... bring you the tablet? Here?” Lyf let themself slump against the wall. “I will go and do that then! Thanks! I will get that account set up!”

The moment the intern exited, Lyf scrambled out of the room. Someone else could answer whatever inane question was being asked this time. Or be subjected to ASCII art that had increased its repertoire from violins to pianos and drums and guitars and flutes and just so, so many instruments. They needed a break, and some damn peace and quiet.

There was no peace or quiet to be found in the next two days except when they were asleep in their own bed, phone kept off and in the next room inside the fridge after it had started playing music on its own one night. It was, however, finally time for Lyfrassir to have to actually physically interact with the Mechanisms again. They shoved earplugs into their pockets along with an eyemask and headed out. Theoretically the ship would land next to the ampitheatre, the Mechanisms would have a few hours to set up and sound check and cause whatever horrifying amount of chaos they could in that time, and then the crowds who actually wanted to hear them could enter.

Lyf was going to hunt down and yell at whoever from the office had leaked the music the Mechanisms had forced his computer to play. He was _certain_ that that was why people were showing up.

Probably. Maybe they were biased against the band, but nothing could be proven. In any case, what mattered was that despite the existential dread weighing them down for reasons they definitely weren’t going to examine—there was no trauma existent in the Lyfrassir Edda—they got to the ampitheatre on time and got to see what was an admittedly graceful landing. Even if they were holding a body bag, as requested, during the landing. They would have to compliment the ship.

Maybe the pilot? But if the ship was sentient, probably the ship was the one to compliment. Wait. Why would they need a pilot if the ship was sentient enough to send Lyf messages? What the fuck? And where were they going to exit from? Lyf could not see a single way to exit the ship.

“Inspector Edda!” Lyf looked up. Ah. La Cognizi, drifting down from above. “Do you have the body bag? I just need to borrow it real quick. You’ll get it back.” She paused and made a face. “Actually, you might not want it back afterwards.” Lyf held up the body bag.

“Do I want to know what you want a body bag for? Please do not tell me if it is something illegal.” La Cognizi grimaced and grabbed the body bag.

“Not technically! Well. I mean, it depends, I don’t know the laws of this particular system, but I think that Ivy and I could make an excellent case that nothing illegal is taking place that would definitely tie up the courts for a good few years.”

“I do not want to hear anything else, La Cognizi.” She grinned and flew off with the body bag. Lyf contemplated lying face down in the grass, but that would give the Mechanisms the advantage of surprise, and that was incredibly unwise.

So he waited for another twenty minutes before the ship manifested a ramp and a hoard of Mechanisms poured down the ramp. Eight of them, one of whom carried the body bag that, based on who Lyf couldn’t see, definitely contained Von Raum.

Good. Maybe he’d escape the annoyance for a bit longer. The body bag was surprisingly still. Maybe he was asleep? That would be ideal. Lyf dragged himself to something approaching polite attention.

“Please do not commit any egregious crimes before or during the concert and vacate the premises to return to your ship immediately afterwards. We can, and will, cancel the other venues, and I’m sure you all could murder you own way into a different venue, but they wouldn’t be as big.”  
Lyf was immediately noogied.

“Aw, you’re as short as Jonny! Ivy, Raphaella, you didn’t tell us he was as short as Jonny!” Lyf shoved at the person who was now ruffling his hair, and was pretty sure they were only released because the other person thought the resistance was funny. They stuck out their hand. “Ashes O’Reilly, ship’s quartermaster.” They gestured over the rest of the crew, pointing and naming in order. “That’s the Toy Soldier, carrying Marius.” The strangely wooden-looking figure carrying the bodybag saluted. “That’s Ivy and Raph—” they both waved “—that’s Tim, he’s gunner, that’s Brian, he’s the pilot, that’s Nastya, she’s the engineer, and that’s Jonny! He’s the first mate.”

“Captain!” Jonny glared at his crewmates as they sing-songed back.

“First mate!”

Jonny scowled at Lyf, who was not going to comment on whatever that ritual was. They were, in fact, the exact same height. Even if that was where the resemblance ended, their eyes met and a shared moment of _fucking tall people_ passed between them. 

The body bag started to move. The Toy Soldier snapped into motion and walked behind Lyf towards the amphitheatre.

“I’ll Find A Place To Put Him Down! I’m Sure I Can Find My Way Around!” Lyf sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Don’t _murder_ anyone!” The Toy Soldier— turned their upper half, but not their legs, oh that should have barely affected Lyf after the glimpses of the squamous things from beyond reality but seeing it on something that looked human was somehow so much worse, and they almost missed the salute and cheery confirmation. Swallowing down their bile, Lyf turned to the rest of the Mechanisms.

“Are you going to show us where to set up, or what do we gotta do to get around in this place?” The one Ashes had called Tim sounded annoyed and Lyf shoved down the headache and nausea.

“Right! Right, just— follow me, hopefully this will be to your liking. We did try to do what you said, but I was not going to put—” Lyf looked at their tablet. “Ah. Yes. Ten red and ten blue tablets of unspecified composition randomly throughout the amphitheatre. There were other requests that were summarily ignored. If you have a problem with that, please ask La Cognizi and Alexandria how good I am at destroying their instruments, and then consider that I have had an unlimited budget with which to set up traps for them.”

The First Mate smiled.

“Fuck, those three weren’t completely lying about you having a backbone.” The smile went slightly menacing—teeth showing, lips pulled back. “But I don’t have an instrument. So try again.” Lyf stared at him and tried to convey just how few fucks he was currently capable of giving.

“If you don’t commit any egregious crimes I can raise a section of the stage to make you taller than everyone else and you can lord it over them.” Jonny’s eyes lit up as the rest of the Mechanisms groaned.

“Deal if I can also get a spotlight at all times.”

“Deal.” They shook hands.

Lyf led them onto the stage with... fewer incidents than expected. The one he’d been told was Nastya got diverted into exploring the behind the scenes technical aspects, but Ivy assured Lyf that there was less than a 5% chance of her committing a murder as long as she was allowed to do whatever she wanted back there, so Lyf sent out the notification to let her do whatever the hell she was doing with the wires and washed his hands of it.

They found the Toy Soldier standing over an angrily writhing body bag. Lyf ignored Marius’s calls for help and promises of retribution in favour of chasing after O’Reilly as they ditched the rest of the setting up band members to “go update their wardrobe” and “finally get some new makeup supplies in, Jonny’s been using all the eyeliner that fucker”.

They hovered around anxiously the whole time that O’Reilly was in the shopping center.

“We could just... have gotten this shipped in from a wholesaler. There is really no need for a seperate shopping expedition.” O’Reilly stood in the empty makeup store methodically testing what was, as far as Lyf could tell, all of the makeup in the store.

“Nah, you can’t get a good feel for it online. You’ve gotta go and try it on yourself.” They snorted. “Or trust me to do it.” They swatched more lipstick on their arm. “What’s got you in a twist, anyways? We’re here for a concert, not general pirating. Well, not to say we’re not going to do any of that, heh, but look, I brought a gold bar and everything.” They pulled what was, indeed, a whole gold bar out of their pocket and waved it back and forth.

“Well forgive me if I’m a bit nervous when the last time I saw your crewmembers they left a trail of destruction in their path and then the whole system got destroyed.”

O’Reilly hummed and started applying a full face of makeup.

“If I was planning on arson, you’d know it. I’d have a gas can with me, for one. Besides, we didn’t cause the Bifrost, we just heard about the train and wanted to find out the story behind it.” They flashed Lyf a grin. “Got a great one out of it as well. Anyways, we’ve got Brian on Means Justify Ends right now! Thought you might appreciate that.” Lyf felt like crying, just a bit.

“I don’t know what that means, O’Reilly.” They shrugged.

“He won’t do things that he thinks are morally wrong, pretty much. He’s a switch, that Drumbot. Heh.” Lyf got a series of urgent messages on their phone.

“Er. O’Reilly? My interns are telling me that the Toy Soldier just shot the body bag? With... Von Raum still inside?” Ashes sighed.

“Well, tell them to get a fresh body bag, then. He’ll be able to get out if there’s holes in it, and I want to see him trying to play the mandolin in a body bag.”

“And the, uh, blood? You also want him trying to play with wounds? They’ve called an ambulance.”

“No bloody point to that. He’ll be fine. Besides, he’s actually practiced all these songs without his middle fingers after mouthing off at Raph, so it’s not like he’ll be affected by it.” Ashes finished their face of makeup and started sweeping makeup into a duffle bag. “Hey, can you get those interns to go and buy up all the makeup if I give ‘em the duffle?”

“I... yes, I can get them to do that.” Ashes grinned and plunked the gold bar down at the empty register.

“Then I’m good to go. Didn’t see anything I cared for in the shop windows on the way here. I’ll try again on the next planet.” They looked Lyf up and down. “If you’re going to be travelling with us for this tour to like, expedite or whatever, you should get a better outfit. I’m sure I can pick something out for you.” Lyf grappled desperately for a change of subject.

“So is Brian his last name and his first name is Drumbot, or is that a species name?” Ashes doubled over laughing and Lyf thought that subject had been successfully changed.

“Is— is that— is Drumbot a _species_ , shit, Lyf, I didn’t think cops, even former cops, could be funny. No.” They inhaled and chuckled a bit more before straightening up. “He’s just Brian, and we call him the Drumbot since that’s what he does, and also he’s like, 95% metal. So. I don’t think most of us have got last names we really use, in any case. Tim’s just Gunpowder Tim, Nastya’s got Rasputina as a last name, uh, and Jonny’s legally speaking a devil. A D’Ville, whatever. But we don’t _use_ them, what’s the point?”

Lyf shrugged.

“Conveying disdain, O’Reilly. It’s almost the time you all wanted for the concert, so we should be getting back.” They clapped him on the back and Lyf staggered forward.

“This was fun, Inspector.”

“I haven’t been an Inspector for decades, O’Reilly.”

“Afraid you’re an Inspector to us forever now, Inspector Lyf.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ashes: I'm afraid we've already written a whole-ass album where we refer to you as Inspector Lyf so you're a cop for life now  
> Lyf: no . . . i want to go apeshit .. . please . . .


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> regrettably. they avoid each other again. im GOING to get there next chapter. marius just absolutely failed to get on the brain cell at all

Everyone was definitely keeping a secret from him. It wasn’t paranoia when it was about the rest of the crew, especially when Ashes had already burned down his red string board three times. Marius steepled his hands and glared at the Toy Soldier, who sat across from him in the room that was technically supposed to be a consultation room of the medbay but that he only ever used for interrogations.

“Right, what haven’t I tried yet...?” He tapped his fingers on the desk and wished that he actually had a psychology degree instead of what was, he had to say, an excellent fake. He snapped his fingers. “Ah! Let’s try the other direction! Toy Soldier, tell me what the Head of Band Communications is most likely to do when we do finally meet. There’s no way they can keep their identity a secret once the concerts actually start, so we will meet.” The Toy Soldier’s inner workings didn’t make any noise, but Marius was pretty sure that if it could’ve, its brain would’ve already overheated from all the questions he had been asking.

“I Think... From What I Have Heard... That The First They Would Do Would Be To Destroy Or Confiscate Your Violin! And Then Yell At You To Be Quiet.” The Toy Soldier nodded. “Yes! I Am Certain That That Is What Would Happen.”

Marius added this information to the red string board and stared at it.

“Yeah, I’m still stumped. Thanks TS, you can go free the rest of the crew.” The Toy Soldier saluted and walked off. Marius took a picture of the red string board and then booked it to the engine room to hide out with Nastya until the concert when, hopefully, the rest of the crew would have to postpone their revenge for getting dropped into a pit of octokittens and locked in. It had been hard to machine a top for the pit, but maybe worth it.

Probably not worth it, he didn’t have any great new information for it, but on the other hand, he knew that he should also be careful of his violin around this Head of Band Communications. He definitely wasn’t ready to get into another antagonistic and flirty-on-his-side relationship with someone who hated violins but definitely did enjoy the music at least a _little_ —Marius was certain that Lyfrassir had enjoyed it at least a little. He had seen the occasional smirks and hidden laughter at some of the songs, so... that was all the evidence he needed.

All the evidence he was ever going to get.

“Nastya! Can I hide here for— until the concert?” Marius held up a toolbox in front of him. “I’m willing to pay my way with any help you might want! I know you complain about wanting another set of hands to work on the Aurora and I am willing to help.”

Nastya sighed at Marius.

“Close the door, Marius. You burst through that so loudly I am sure the rest have already heard you. If they have not, you are welcome to stay until the first concert.” Nastya stroked part of the engine and the pitch of the engine’s hum lowered. “Aurora agrees. She would like you please to dust out and clean the heat sinks. They’ve been running at much lower capacity.” Marius held in a sigh. He hated spacewalks.

“Alright. Do I need any special tools for it, or good old steel wool and elbow grease enough?” Nastya grinned at him.

“Steel wool and elbow grease will do fine until I can convince Jonny to get some actual rest and maintenance done on her. Be careful out there, Marius.” He snagged an oxygen mask and decided against any further spacesuiting. He’d be right in amongst the heat sinks, he was immortal, it’d be fine!

It wasn’t fine, but he didn’t die, and the Aurora thanked him and said that if it kept on going past the first concert she would tell him what was going on, so it was a net gain even if Nastya was a dirty traitor who let Jonny and Raphaella in right before the concert to kill him with some weird black bag.

Marius was going to kill everyone when he got out of here. Sure, it would delay the concert, but that’s what they got for killing him and shoving him into a body bag! His fingers scrabbled at the zipper and desperately tried to pull it, but it was definitely locked. Who had ever heard of a locking body bag? Not bloody him!  
“Toy Soldier! Let me _out_ of here, I can’t play the bloody fucking violin from in here and Nastya’s already said she’s going to have nothing to do with this even if I am incapacitated! The others definitely don’t want the debut concert for this album to be shit!”

“Sorry Marius! Jonny Was Very Specific That I Was To Not Let You Out And To Keep You Away From— Oops! I Can’t Say! But They Did Then Say No Murder, And No One Contradicted Them, So At Least You’re Not Dead!”

“I may not be dead but my shoulder is barely going to be healed by the time the concert starts! I had to dig out the bullet with my bare hands!” Marius heard the wooden creak of the Toy Soldier probably shrugging. “Let me _out_ right _now_ or I will not play at the concert, TS!” He rolled the bag to the side and tried to look out of the newly made bullet hole at the Toy Soldier. It looked considering.

“Well, I Suppose Playing Is Important... But Ashes Did Say Not To Let You Out Before The Concert At All No Matter What...”

Marius saw his chance.

“Well, the concert has already started for us! We have to get set up, and I have to check the sound, and tune my instruments, you know how it is! It’s an important part of the concert!” Marius heard a snapping noise and the zipper was drawn back from his face. He scrambled out of the bag and started tearing it to pieces.

“You Should Get Going, Marius! You’re Right About Tuning! I Remember How Annoyed Jonny Was When Tim Didn’t Tune His Guitar!” The Toy Soldier gently tried to pull the bag away from Marius. “If You Really Want I Will Go Set It On Fire!” Marius let go of the bag.

“Alright. Go set it on fire and make sure that it can’t be used to lock someone inside of again. I will go actually prepare for the concert.” He stomped off to go find his instruments. Where would he have put them if he was full of bastardous energy and knew that the person who was playing them was supposed to be stuck inside a remarkably durable bag?

Probably on stage so that they were ready when he inevitably broke out of the bag. If that had gone on much longer he might have had to rip off a finger and use the spikes that connected them to his mechanism to tear his way out of the bag. Fingers were pretty reattachable, it would’ve been fine. Marius found someone scurrying around carrying cables and put on his best grin.

“Hey, which way to the stage? I need to tune my instruments and make sure those idiots haven’t done anything with them.” He kept his eyes from narrowing into a glare. The poor worker looked like they were about to drop over from stress, and you can’t give directions when in a faint. Or dead.

“I— you— uh. Stage is that way—” they fumbled the cables and pointed further down the corridor “—and you can, uh, there’ll be signage? I’m sorry, I would show you, but... The scary lady downstairs said she needed these... and I don’t want to disappoint her, and I don’t know what she wants them for but I don’t want to die because I didn’t get them to her fast enough, and she’s. Well. Uhm.” The worker was blushing, and Marius sighed. Nastya was already building a fanclub without knowing it. Great. He schlepped off in the direction indicated, and morosely considered asking her how she manages it without even trying. _He_ was charming on _purpose_ and what did it get him? Mostly annoyance. Some frustration. Life just wasn’t fair.

He hadn’t even gotten to grab his helmet before getting killed and stuffed into the bag. He’d spent a whole day polishing the helmet spike and now it wasn’t even going to be on his head for the debut performance of a new album.

On the other hand, maybe that was better. Jonny would be surprised later on if he got spiked in the chest for going off-script if he got away with it the first time. Hm. Possible upside! And Marius could always go for the good old standby, the gun, if Jonny tried to use his scarily accurate Lyf voice to fake flirt with him.

Marius checked his gun and realized he had been divested of all his bullets while he was out. Fuck. He checked under his boot belts.

“Hell yes, I knew having fashion that not even Jonny would touch would let me get away with shit.” Marius pulled the hidden cartridge out and loaded his gun before replacing it and continuing the hunt for a sign that actually said where the goddamned stage was. The pictograms did not really indicate anything to him except that perhaps he needed to blow off steam, based on the fact that they were all rorschaching into something or, well, someone sexy. He picked the sexiest pictogram and went off in search of the stage.

Then he heard Ashes, and immediately dove under a tarp and tried to act dead in the hopes that he would not be killed again.

“So I think our plan is to just play our new album, and then some oldies. Like some of the songs that we played through your computer—sorry about Jonny—and maybe a few more. Depends on the audience, really. But no matter where you end up you’ll hear the end song and that’ll be your cue to like, get everyone out before Jonny gets annoyed and starts shooting.” Marius heard an exasperated sigh. It reminded him of Lyfrassir’s. He held in his own wistful sigh and waited for Ashes to round the corner, still talking about plans. Something about that person getting their own ship loaded into the Aurora, so that was probably their liaison. Boring!

Marius ended up outside and saw crowds gathering and lining up. While getting in line would definitely get him to where the stage was, he wasn’t going to leave his instruments to anyone else’s fickle tuning abilities. Nastya could tune a violin, but she wasn’t going to be on stage until the second half, and Brian... it depended on what setting he was on. So Marius turned around and checked the signs again.

Picking the sexiest pictogram led him outside, so maybe he should have just followed behind Ashes, who definitely actually knew where they were going—they were that type of competent—and also had the liaison with them, but he also really did not want to go back in the bag. The acoustics would be terrible.  
He picked the least sexy pictogram, figuring that if the sexiest one led to the outside the least sexy one should take him to the center of this place, and that worked out! He dodged around people frantically setting up tables of merch that Ashes had ordered in the last system and made his way to the stage in time to stab Jonny for trying to tune his violin, and managed to get both instruments sound checked while everyone crowded in.

It was fairly packed! But not with the person that Marius really wanted to give a concert to. He sighed, picked up his bow, and the show went on.


	5. Chapter 5

Lyfrassir left O’Reilly on the stage with some of the normal amphitheatre workers running around plugging and unplugging cords at the Mechanisms’ discretion as they ran their sound checks, tuned and retuned instruments, and quibbled. It felt like fairly practiced and friendly quibbling, but it was accompanied by knives and gestures with guns, so Lyf dropped off the side of the stage after informing the technicians of his deal with D’Ville and went to the bowels of the amphitheatre. They were used to artistic temperaments and seemed much less phased by the bickering.

One of the interns had been the one to tell Lyf that right underneath the stage was actually supposed to be one of the quietest areas. Something to do with advanced noise blocking and a need for the electrical components to not get blasted with triple-decibel noises. Lyf just cared that it was going to be quiet and they’d be able to dash back up if required.

As he climbed down the side of the stage they noted, absently, that Von Raum’s instruments were present, but not the man himself. That was probably good. But it was nice, in a strange way, to see Alexandria and La Cognizi again and almost feel as though he was back at home, but in a world where they weren’t criminals in jail.

Having Von Raum around would have rounded out the feeling nicely, and Lyf berated himself as he slipped under the stage for even thinking about missing Von Raum’s teasing. He’d get plenty of it later on, he was sure. Finally getting to the maintenance area, they slipped inside and were confronted with Nastya Rasputina, in the middle of building... something, they weren’t sure what. Lyf sighed, and turned around.

“Ah, Inspector Edda! You do not have to go. I am here because it is quiet and I am sure we can agree to both be peaceful.” Lyf completed a circle and came inside, closing the door behind him. “Have you seen Marius yet?”

“No, actually. I thought he would be following me around and annoying me, but I haven’t seen him at all. Well, he was in the body bag, apparently, but I haven’t talked to him or actually seen him.” Lyf shrugged. “If he needs a nap that bad I’m not going to argue.” Rasputina started giggling, putting down her tools to cover her mouth. An intern that had opened the opposite door to bring in some cables flushed, dropped the cables, and left.

At least she shut the door behind her when she left.

“It’s not that Marius needs a nap, Inspector.” Rasputina composed herself for a moment, and began to organize the area around her. “There is a bet going on. I will tell you, if you want to know. The Aurora and I are already in agreement to end the bet after this concert. It seems rude to both of you to keep it going much longer.”

Lyf lay down on the floor and groaned as a headache began to form.

“I don’t think I want to know. That’s just too many shenanigans to keep track of when I’m already getting messages every ten seconds freaking out about this concert. It’s a concert. There might be murder. But instead of worrying about the possible crimes, everyone is worrying about the normal things that they do every time there’s an event here.” He didn’t look up, but he did feel a gentle pat on the back.

“You’ve got a lot of stress, Inspector Edda. Help me build this, it will be calming.” Lyf dragged themself upright and took the toolset offered. “I am making a gift for the Aurora.” Rasputina looked at Lyf, and then carefully enunciated, “my girlfriend.”

“Ah. The ship? I actually had a question about that—she sent me messages, but if she’s sentient and can send messages and talk to people, then why does she need a pilot? Drumbot Brian said he was the pilot, after all.” Rasputina relaxed, and began to tinker with the frankly incomprehensible mess of parts in front of her.

“Aurora was not built to pilot herself. We’re working on it, and she can in a pinch, but,” Rasputina reached out and plucked a tool from the toolset, “well, it’s taking a bit to find all the ways the original engineers inhibited her.”

Lyf hummed in acknowledgement.

“Seems cruel. I’m glad you’re able to help her, then. Is that what this is for?” Rasputina nodded.

“Yes, I’m rebuilding some of her cabling systems here. We have both been alive for a very long time. So, we both need to take care of ourselves. Hopefully by replacing the physical components we will be able to bypass some of the current restrictions.”

Music burst into the room before the sound quickly dimmed, the dampeners catching up with the noise. Rasputina looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

“Well, they’ve started. So we’ve got about an hour down here, assuming Marius stabs Jonny at least once in the middle.” She bent back down to her work, and she and Lyfrassir settled into a peaceful coexistence that required no effort beyond remembering tool names and attempting to pass her the correct tools. Occasionally, a burst of sound came from above as the Mechanisms presumably transitioned from quieter sections to louder sections.

Then a gunshot rang out.  
Rasputina looked at the ceiling and then raised an eyebrow at Lyf, who was already scrambling to open their messages and find out what had happened.

“Von Raum... shot D’Ville, apparently. Uh. They said that after the reactions last time they’re not going to call an ambulance?” Lyf started scrolling through the message backlog.

“Oh, Jonny will be fine after a minute.” She leaned in to continue her work. “Marius probably just didn’t take well to the teasing. It happens, you know?”

Lyf sighed.

“I just think that injuring your... you’re all friends, yes? I think that injuring your friends so that they’ve got to take the weeks to recover from wounds is a bit of an overreaction.” Rasputina made a small sound of surprise and looked back up at Lyf.

“Apologies, Lyfrassir, I was unaware you did not know—we are all immortal.” Lyf squinted at Rasputina.

“I am aware that you all don’t age, yes, but injuries are... different?” Lyf paled at the thought that the Mechanisms could come back to life from death. It would make more sense than he really wanted to think about—the devil may care attitude towards violence never quite made sense when they just didn’t age, but if they healed every injury as well, then a number of things added up to a rather horrifying picture. Rasputina shook her head and sighed.

“I would have thought one of them would have mentioned it in prison. No, we cannot die. Well. We die occasionally, from injuries, but we heal quickly. Even from death. You will forgive me if I do not demonstrate.” Lyf groaned and let themself lay back on the floor.

“Please do not. Alright. So that explains why O’Reilly laughed when I said someone had called an ambulance after the Toy Soldier shot Von Raum.”

“Mmm. Yes, that is most likely why.”

Lyf started scrolling through the messages on their tablet again, holding it right above their face. A dangerous choice, but one that would hopefully not backfire. His boss was messaging him. Had been messaging him.

**Hey have you actually heard this album?**

**Edda I think this album is- yeah, this album is about what happened to your system.**

**Do your reports actually sound like this?**

**The frontman is doing a scarily accurate impression of you.**

Oh no. Oh no. They hadn’t. Lyf turned to look at Rasputina, who was definitely avoiding eye contact. 

“Rasputina. Please do not tell me that this new album is about the destruction of my entire star system.” Rasputina tapped the screwdriver nervously and didn’t answer. “I did not send out a report so that it could be used in _an album_!” Lyf was standing up now; they didn’t remember standing up. Their migraine had arrived like a train running over his head, and they felt so angry. Rasputina was looking at them, slightly wary.

“Inspector, we have all used our worst trauma in a song. Also, we all thought you were dead, so it seemed like fair game.” Rasputina carefully put down her tools, not dropping eye contact with Lyf. The edges of their vision were going almost rainbow as their eyes teared up in rage and sorrow. A few tears fell as they were filled with emotions that they did not have time to categorize and store away where they couldn’t be hurt and it was just a cascading series of new and more horrible things. “Inspector, I promise you that while you may be the framing device it’s not as though we are making fun of you. Please calm down.”

Lyf looked down at their hands and realized that they had cracked the tablet. Spiderwebs of broken glass ran over the final message that their boss had sent, turning it—almost rainbow, like the Bifrost reaching out even now, into his life—and he dropped the tablet and it shattered.

Lyfrassir blinked. That wasn’t right. Those things were supposed to survive car wrecks without a scratch. They decided to focus on that, shoving away the emotions to handle... later, definitely later. They looked blankly at their hand and the small drops of blood welling to the surface with a strange iridescence and added that to the pile, before raising his eyes back to Rasputina’s. 

“I. Well. I’m _not_ dead. I put a lot of effort into being not dead. Wait.” Lyf’s eyes narrowed at Rasputina. “D’Ville is playing me? What is your criteria for assigning roles? That doesn’t make any sense. No, that’s not the main problem. Now that you know I’m actually alive, do I get any say about this? A whole album that apparently uses my name in it?”

“Er. No, at this point, it’s written. We don’t make edits quite that large.” She looked slightly contrite about the whole thing, at least, and Lyf sat back down.

“Wait. The bet you were talking about. Is that why Von Raum hasn’t been following me around and annoying me?” Lyf rubbed his head, trying to get the migraine to recede at least a bit. “He thinks I’m dead and that’s what it takes to get some peace and quiet?”

“That’s about the shape of it. How long can we go without Von Raum realizing you’re alive? Which, to be fair, we have been quite successful at so far! It has been very funny watching him try to get information out of any of us.” Rasputina pulled out something that Lyf was assuming was a phone and showed it to him. “Look at his conspiracy board.”

“... This is horrible. He would not have lasted a week in any investigative force.” Rasputina chuckled with Lyf as they went through the pictures of Von Raum’s evolving red string board, and Rasputina explained a bit about the rest of the crew...

“Wait, so the Toy Soldier... has to obey orders? That’s a bit...” Lyf grimaced. Rasputina nodded at him.

“Yes, we are aware. We did not design it that way. But it does make it an exceptional secret-keeper as long as you cover all your bases. Ashes was quite upset that they didn’t think of Marius asking about your reactions to meeting him, but they did not think he would get that far.”

“Well it didn’t help him. Does he think that all Transport Officers hate violins?” Lyf sighed. “I don’t even hate violins unless they’re mysteriously appearing in a prison cell and used only to try and play music over my speaking.”

“Good to know, as I am also a violinist.”

“I’m going to nominate you for best violinist. I’m sure that there’s no such award in your group, but still.”

Lyf heard a sudden influx of cheering from above.

“Ah. That would be them finishing the first half of the show.” Rasputina stood and picked up what had become a fairly compact bundle of circuit boards and wiring that Lyf was absolutely clueless about. “If you do not mind, could you take this to the Aurora? She will also tell you how to bring your own ship aboard, if you would prefer to not waste fuel and instead travel with us between planets.” Lyf accepted the bundle and nearly sat down again from the weight.

“Yes, alright, just please, if you see anyone looking for me, tell them my tablet is broken and I am not receiving messages.” Rasputina nodded.

“I can do that. Aurora may also add you to our group chat. I do not recommend attempting to leave it, as I believe Ivy has still left some interesting programming in after Jonny kept attempting to leave.” She picked up her violin, which had been hidden behind the machinery, and looked at Lyf on her way out the door. “I am glad to see you are feeling calmer, Inspector.”

“Er. I’m not an Inspector anymore. You can just—” Lyf started to wave a hand and then quickly put it back onto the bundle of machinery. “Lyfrassir is fine. Lyf, if you want to.” Rasputina flashed him a smile.

“Well, enjoy meeting the Aurora, Lyfrassir. You should get going unless you want to deal with Marius.” Lyf flushed and jolted into movement. Opening the door took a second with both hands full, but he made it and went to follow the signs to the outdoors.

Lyf paused in the middle of checking a sign and had a sudden realization.

“Those bastards have some sort of universal translator and they’re not sharing it.” How else could they have been sending messages in this star system’s language? Lyf had had to spend _most of a decade_ achieving fluency and these bastards just walked in talking the talk and apparently writing the language as well? Fuck them! He stomped the rest of the way to the Aurora, where the ramp was now no longer in existence. Great.

“Er. Aurora? Nastya sent me with all of this for you and also said I should ask you about bringing my ship aboard? Since I was appointed liaison?”  
There was no response and Lyf felt rather silly.

“Oh. Do you ... have external microphone pickups?” He carefully put down the bundle and took out his phone. Hell. It was filling up with notifications. He opened up the message thread with the Mechanisms.

**Hello Aurora, I don’t know if you have audio pickups out here, Nastya told me to bring this package to you and ask about bringing my ship aboard. Is now a good time?**

The ramp extended.

**Thank you, I will be right up.**

He put away his phone and hauled the electronics up the ramp. At the top, he was greeted with a screen displaying a message.

**Hello Inspector Lyfrassir Edda. Nastya has not yet added audio recording capabilities to my external hull, no. We both agreed it was of less importance than certain other additions ;)**

Lyf decided he did not want to know what that winky face met. The Aurora and Nastya were girlfriends, great, but that did not mean he wanted to know anything about their possible. Eurgh. No, he didn’t want to think about the mechanics of anyone’s relationship no matter who they were.

“Well, where should I put this down? She said it was to replace some cabling that needed replacement?” The screen moved up and down in a short movement Lyf tentatively labelled a shrug.

 **You can leave it anywhere inside. Follow me, I’ll show you a loading bay and we can put that down there and also you can get your ship in there. It’s been pretty empty since they stripped the last few derelicts for salvage.** Lyf grimaced. **Don’t give me that look, they didn’t have living people in them. There hasn’t been any actual piracy for a bit since they’ve been working on the album.** The screen swung around so that Lyf could no longer read it, and they followed the screen down the hallways to a loading bay. The Aurora really was ridiculously big for a crew of nine. But he wasn’t going to say that to her face. It was probably rude.

“So it’s fine with you if I stay here, during the concert tour? I don’t want to impose.” There. That was a good way to give her an out and also give himself an out if he didn’t want to stay with the Mechanisms for an extended period of time. The screen swung back around to face him.

 **It’s fine! Besides the Mechanisms I’m really just staffed by the octokittens and the stowaways, and it’s nice to have people who actually talk to me on board. Well, the stowaways talk, we’re pretty sure, but it’s a weird hivemind situation.** The corridor hummed around him. **Well they cheer and they can sing along but good luck getting anything else out of them.**

Lyf was not going to ask questions about that situation. Octokittens? A pirate ship that had a stowaways problem? Stowaways that? Didn’t speak? What did any of this mean? He let out a quiet confused... well, if he was being honest, a weird cross between a whine and _huh_ noise.

**I’m sure you’ll see some of both groups eventually! Especially if you want to stay with us!**

“Ah, I— no, I do have a job, which I will be getting back to after this tour is over.” The corridor around Lyf vibrated with a hum and then fell silent.

 **Well, whatever you say. Ah, here we are.** The screen nudged at a door, pushing it open, and went through. Lyf followed, somewhat nervously, and saw. Ah. Those must be the octokittens. Or at least, he hoped that they were octokittens and not squamous things that the Mechanisms had decided to keep as pets.

“Aurora? Those aren’t, uh. Squamous things, yes?” The screen wiggled from side to side as Lyf saw text appear and get deleted quickly.

 **We don’t actually know where they came from but they’re mostly harmless. They can be rather cute, even! You can drop that off wherever, by the way.** Lyf carefully set down the cables and stretched their back.

“Well, I suppose I should get going. Should I, er, bring my ship back here? That might get a bit complicated, I’ll need take-off permissions and all.”

 **Oh, well, I can just pick it up on the way out if you tell me which one it is! Brian’s got a deft touch with the controls, we can get your ship picked up :) Just tell us the coordinates. Or the specific docking bay.** Lyf hesitated. **Unless you don’t want to travel with us? :(** Oh no. They didn’t want to disappoint a spaceship. What was their life.

“I... yes, I can give you my docking bay information. It was already loaded, anyways... so I suppose it won’t make much of a difference if I drive it in versus you and Brian picking it up. Sure. Uh, could you maybe explain some things to me, if you’re got time? Or— wait, do _I_ have time? I’m supposed to go get them when the concert ends...” Lyf groaned at the thought of the chaos the Mechanisms could cause. “And I really don’t want anyone dying. Because of that, anyways.”

 **I will tell Nastya to corral everyone back! Come, I will give you the guided tour, we definitely have time for the quick one!** The screen sped off and Lyf moved into a trot to follow it.

It had definitely been more than an hour by the time the tour was theoretically almost done. Lyf had been shown the engine room, where everyone else’s rooms where, the empty sets of rooms, the medbay, where he got to see Von Raum’s final red string board and make his own contributions, the kitchen, a random series of bathrooms, empty rooms that had been repurposed into things that Lyf definitely didn’t understand, a whole library, and La Cognizi’s lab.

They were sort of hoping to get a break at this point even if it was just from the Mechanisms coming back and causing chaos. That would at least mean that their ship would be picked up soon. Lyf hadn’t seen any sort of laundry facilities, and they had strange rainbow stains on their shirt.

They remembered those stains from the first week after they had escaped the Bifrost, when they couldn’t stop crying. They weren’t so sure they remembered how to get them out.

He kept on following the Aurora’s screen around, before he finally could no longer hold in a yawn. Checking his phone, he realized that it... actually was getting quite late.

“Aurora? Did the concert go... very over?” Lyf turned to try and find the exit and began to run to where they believed it was. “Aurora, I need to go find them, what problems are they causing? Oh, the poor interns!” They sped up, and a screen finally caught up and kept pace with him, displaying directions as they ran.

 **They just decided to do some shopping and then go out for a dinner! Don’t worry so much, Lyfrassir! No civilians have died so far, although I believe there has been a little stabbing. Over a treat, I believe.** Lyf threw up their hands in exasperation.

“Stabbing someone over a treat is also not great! I mean, I appreciate the lack of murder, but— wait. Civilians. Are they killing each other, Aurora?”

**There has been a higher than normal amount of intra-band murder, yes, but luckily no one has tried flipping Brian’s switch yet-**

“I still don’t know what that means!”

**So he is helping Nastya restrain them at the moment. They should be back within a few hours, Lyfrassir. You appear stressed. You may wish to recalibrate your perceptions of mischief and best-case scenarios around the Mechanisms.**

“Of course I’m stressed!” Lyf stopped abruptly and turned to face the screen. “I had a very quiet life, and everything was— everything was, and then now there’s a whole album about the worst time period of my life out in the universe, and everyone is going to know that story, and _I don’t want that, but that doesn’t matter to them!_

“Everything is stressful again, and I’m having migraines and the only people left who can remind me of my whole _fucking_ star system happen to be immoral immortal space pirates!”

**Lyfrassir, please begin taking deep breaths--**

“It’s going to be all over multiple star systems, and people are going to start— _pitying_ me again, last survivor of that poor backwards star system— ” rainbow was creeping in around the edges just like before, covering his vision like a pair of sunglasses “—but we had better and faster spaceflight than any of them, and I never would’ve been able to shatter one of our tablets with my bare hands, and I miss all the food and the coffee here just _isn’t the same_ , and—” He could barely see anything now, even the Aurora’s screen, through the rainbows coursing across his vision.

That was bad, wasn’t it?

Lyfrassir was nearly certain that he didn’t like rainbows anymore.

Hadn’t for a while.

Why was that?

“And the worst part is that— now it will follow me, and I’ll never escape that bloody album or the Mechanisms, for the rest of my shaping-up-to-be-eternal life I’m just going to be— followed, and I won’t be able to escape—” They heard hissing, vaguely, but they couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.

They were very tired, now.

Maybe they should just.

Sleep.

The rainbows would still be there in the morning, Lyf reasoned. He could figure them out later.

He was lying down, now. The corridor was surprisingly comfortable. They closed their eyes and let sleep overtake them. They were so tired.

  
  


They heard voices as they slept, floating in the Bifrost, cradled by a being they could not quite comprehend yet.

“Shit. Look at the corridor, it’s gone all... anodized. The corridors aren’t even titanium.”

“Is someone distracting Marius? Besides TS. This shit is going to take forever to clean. Eurgh, and I can still smell some of the sleeping gas.”

“Yeah, yeah, Brian’s doing it, at least he’s less insubordinate when he’s on MJE.” They heard a sniff, distorted to a burst of static. “Slightly less. So, what, is it safe to drag them to an airlock?”

“I do not believe that the Inspector did this maliciously, Jonny. In fact, I calculate an 82% chance that they are merely unaware they are capable of any of this.”

“Still did it, though. Tim, help me heave him out.”

“Whoa, I’m not getting between you and Ivy in this argument when Ivy looks like that.”

“Tim, I won’t blow his ship into space if you help me with this.”

“Nope, I’m going to go find Raphaella and see what she thinks.”

“Tim! Get back here!”

“Based on Nastya’s input, it is likely that they became emotional and this happened. If we determine what the cause of this was, we can help prevent further incidents. Also, Marius will not forgive you, and he is playing a very important part in the album.”

“Fuck Marius’s feelings, do you want the Aurora glitching like that in space?”

“She says that it was extremely localized. It would not prevent starflight. There is also less than a 4% chance that Lyfrassir will cause another such problem if we inform them while they are on a planet. If nothing else, at least wait until the end of this tour.”

“Fuck’s sake. Fine, I hope you’re all happy when we’re floating in space and dying over and over while we get the Aurora fixed.” Lyf heard the sharp bursts of boots on metal fade, and curled into the embrace of the being more.

The next thing he knew, the being was handing him off, and the new... person, yes, holding him, was gently stroking his hair. The rainbow faded as the more solid, more warm embrace surrounded them, and they curled into it, holding onto... clothing? With their hands. They heard gentle murmuring from above, and barely parsed it.

“You’re not going to die now, Lyfrassir. You didn’t survive the Bifrost just to die from it later. We’re going to have to change the ending of the album, you know. Instead of everyone dying, you escape.” They heard a soft and wistful sigh. “I wish I had known you escaped. We could have picked you up.”

They felt themself placed onto something soft, and did not uncurl from around the person. As they drifted back off into sleep, they let out a soft whine as their fingers were detangled from clothing and a blanket was drawn over them.

Then the rainbow was once again all they knew.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyf & Marius finally interact while they're both conscious. Eventually. At the end of the chapter.  
> Marius gets Several Medical Scares and Loses any braincell rights in favor of gay panic.

“So, would you say that you could get at least, oh, fifty other people to fill out this survey? I’m gathering data and it’s very important to have a large enough dataset to make informed conclusions. It can all be transmitted to the Aurora as long as we are in-system.” The concert-goer in front of Marius took the packet and nodded.

“Why are you doing a survey on which of you the audience likes best?” Marius waved his flesh hand nonchalantly.

“Image issues.” Definitely not because he wanted to figure out how Nastya already had a fan club that she was avoiding and Ashes was surrounded by pyromaniacs but he had... Well, actually he had a pretty decent line of people looking to take pictures, and none of them had been annoying enough to warrant a gentle warning stab yet.

“And you’ll send back a signed poster if I do?” Marius nodded, and carefully kept a smile pasted on his face.

“Signed by all of us, yes. And that’s a rarity! Well, except for the Toy Soldier’s signature, but look at that line.” The Toy Soldier had a rather long line winding around the bar the Mechanisms had finally settled at, and Marius did not envy the people who were at the end of it. That was going to take forever.

Marius ditched his line and the fan to head over to the bar, where Ashes was lighting drinks on fire to the oohs and aahs of their fanclub. They tossed him a smirk and started pulling out bottles from their coat.

“Looking for a dangerous drink, Marius? I haven’t been able to show off more than the basics to these mortals.”

“I’d like something that won’t get me left behind for being dead drunk and having to hitch a ride just to make it to the next concert, so put that gasoline away.” Ashes pouted and slid the gasoline can to the other pyromaniacs. Marius contemplated stopping them as they took it and went off into the dark corners of the bar, but frankly, this place was getting boring anyways.

“I’d say we’ve got about an hour before they actually manage to get to a dangerous level of flame. So, you want a mortal drink. What’s got you so down?” Ashes started mixing behind the bar, pulling out a pint glass and beginning to mix the hard liquors. Marius scowled at them.

“Nothing’s got me _down_ , Ashes, I’ve just seen the way the wind is blowing on the making-fun-of-me ocean and I’m taking proper precautions. Most of these ships are pretty shitty anyways; you heard Nastya making fun of them on the way down.” Ashes shrugged and passed Marius his drink. He was pretty sure it was just ten shots mixed with enough fruity shit to make him not taste it. Tasted pretty good though.

“You seen Jonny? I haven’t seen him since he found out someone had brought their kid to the concert. I think he might have introduced that poor parent to Raph.” Marius squinted at the ceiling.

“Yeah, I saw Raph flying around a kid and heard some yelling in the distance about being a parent so... here’s hoping!” Marius lifted his glass in a cheers motion at the outdoors. “Raph better not have had anything to drink, she’s already got shit coordination.” Ashes pursed their lips and looked up at the ceiling.

“Nah, she hasn’t gotten anything from me. Well, I think she got a cider, but that won’t do shit to her.”

“Hrmnghle.”

“Marius, that’s not actually a word. Seriously, what’s got you like this? It’s going to fuck up the next performance.”

“I’m the psychologist here, not you.” Marius tapped the now-empty pint glass, wishing vaguely that his fingers were also metal right now so that he could get some interesting noises from it. Brian did great shit with three glasses and his fingers. “Wait, where is Brian?”

“Don’t change the subject. Besides, I did decades of barkeeping in The City, and that definitely counts for more than a fake degree.”

“Hey! I’m a doctor, don’t malign me like that!”

“You’re a quack and you know it.” Marius pouted at Ashes and slid his glass back to them. “No. You’re already mopey enough and there’s nothing around that’ll cheer you into happy drunk.”

“I’m prescribing myself another drink, Ashes. I’ll get out my prescription pad if I need to. It’s a legitimate pad. You can’t ignore a legal prescription to pour me another goddamn drink.” Ashes laughed at him. He reached over the bar and grabbed a bottle of mead, ignoring the stab in the back of his hand. Ooh, it was a very nice knife— and Ashes grabbed it back.

“Brian’s outside. Apparently in here there’s a bit too much going on.” Ashes waved at the area, hand encompassing the multiple disco balls, the music (supplied by a recently formed cover band—godspeed to them, getting the hang of the music in less than a few hours), and the just overall packed bar.

“Oh. Good, maybe he’ll keep Jonny from murdering that parent.”

“Well, as long as they don’t deserve it he will, but, you know,” Ashes wiggled their hand from side to side in a so-so motion, “entirely possible even on MJE he’ll let it happen.”

“Mmmmm. Could go psychoanalyze ‘im. Haven’t done that in a while.” Marius sighed. “You all won’t let me, anyways.”

“Yeah, well, what did you expect? Go on out there and have fun, there’s dancing going on! You’ve always been into that, yeah? Raph and Ivy told me all about the prison waltzing.” Marius sighed and let himself sprawl sadly across the ball counter. “Oh fuck, don’t start getting morose. I promise you things will look better in the morning. Or maybe earlier.” Ashes laughed as Marius peeled himself off of the bar stool and flipped Ashes’ off—a dangerous move, but they were busy mixing more flammables, so probably fine. And he got off with just a little stab in the neck, so it was.

Marius headed out of the bar, diving through the patrons, fans and Mechanisms, mixing on the floor, causing chaos. It looked like there weren’t any bodies yet, but the fires in the corners were getting higher, there was blood on the floor, and Ivy was in the middle of a circle of phones, definitely downloading every piece of media available.

“Brian! Good friend Brian, why do you look like a coat hanger for shopping bags?” Brian was surrounded by bags attached to him in various, definitely jury-rigged ways. Knives were surprisingly not included, but almost every other form of weapon was used to stick something to Brian. Brian sighed at Marius, and let out a deep, rattling sigh. “Oh shit, you got something stuck in there?”

“No. It was for dramatic effect. Everyone asked me to keep their shopping safe, _including you, Marius_ —” Brian lifted one leg and Marius noticed that yeah, that was his new boots and a ton of other shit “—and I might as well because no one has recognized me and I was getting some great peace and quiet. What’s up.”

“I feel like you didn’t lift your voice enough to make that legitimate question, but I’ll still answer it! I just wanted some peace and quiet as well! Or some fun, but all of Ashes’ suggestions sucked ass.”

“Made you think about your poor lost crush, huh.” Marius frowned and tried to maneuver into position to see Brian’s switch.

“Did someone flip your switch? Why are you being mean to me?”

“I can be catty without my switch being flipped when I would really just like to be lying down somewhere quiet right now. Imagine: no noise, no lights, just nice and quiet. Maybe cuddling.”

“Hey.”

“Alright, strike the cuddling for you. But still. Quiet and peace before our next concert.”

“Fine, fine, just answer one question: has Jonny killed any parents tonight? Do I need to be out there counselling some poor traumatized kid?”

“No, he just stabbed him a bit and gave him a very long talk about what kids need, to not be a dick, etcetera. I called an ambulance and the dad should not bleed out, but he might have a slightly impaired range of motion in one arm.”

“Oh. Well, that’s alright then.” Marius turned around and started climbing up the bar to the roof. What was the point in having a metal hand if you couldn’t make your own hand holds for climbing?

By the time he’s actually reached the top of the bar he’s broken his legs a bit, but it’s all worth it to see—

“Oh, so this is where the two of you have gone to. Ivy, I thought you were still pirating all this planet’s media?”

Raphaella chucked one of her heels at him and continued making out with Ivy. Marius could take a hint that they didn’t want any company, and sadly climbed back down to the ground. The bar exterior was getting pretty fiery, so he took his shopping back from Brian and started heading to the ship.

He did _not_ want to get roped into completing the demolition when he’d barely gotten to participate. He might be forced to carry parts of Tim back after he remembered that explosives and fire mix all too well, and no one, probably including Tim, wanted that.

It took a bit for the Aurora to let him back in, and in the distance he could hear shouts and explosions, so he was probably not actually getting any time to himself. Damn. But after a series of trading >:\ emotes back and forth, Marius made it inside and to his room.

Fuck actually unpacking any of the shopping though, that was a problem for future him, who could get upset about present him leaving a mess all over the bed later. He was going back to the medbay and— Brian was in his doorway.

“Is this the start of enacting another horror movie? Are you going to kill me for dropping my shit all over my own bed? I know that you’re a neat freak, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us have to be.” Marius noted, idly, that Brian had been divested of all the shopping, but he still had weapons stuck all over him.

“Er. I just— wanted— to. Uh. I didn’t want to use your medbay without permission, and I need some of the tools to get fixed up. The. Forceps. Yes.”

“Oh, you want docting done! I thought you were looking forward to a nice quiet night, Brian!”

“I was. This just needs to get done.” Marius draped his fancy arm around Brian, enjoying the soft clang of metal on metal.

“Well, c’mon then, my man! We will get you fixed up and Drumbotting again in no time at all!” Marius dragged Brian down the hall to the medbay, which ended up being more literal than he really wanted it to be. Screeching metal on metal was not a great sound for anyone, but especially for people who couldn’t turn off audio input like he was pretty sure Brian was doing. Bastard. He could _hear_ Jonny being angry in the distance and he was losing the opportunity to find out why. “Wait, are you just distracting me from Jonny’s temper tantrum?”

“... Yes. I am.”

“Oh, well in that case I’m going to make you look at my whole red string conspiracy board and if you make a pained face then I’m going to mark it down as a point for the conspiracy.”

“Can you please just shoot me instead of that. Please. Anything but that.”

“Nope! You’re going to have to listen to it. If it helps, I can flip your switch so that the you with the morals that made fun of me gets tortured. Would that help? Would that be good for you?”

“None of this will be good for me.”

“Then suffer as you all have made me suffer. Sit down.” Marius shoved Brian into the chair of the interrogation room and pulled out his red string conspiracy board, and promptly wondered if this was what it felt like for Ivy when she did a reboot on her brain.

Written all over the board was, in handwriting Marius had spent a few decades telling the crew he did _not_ have memorized, many nitpicks about his apparently shit investigative skills.

Who knew that getting berated over text could actually be one of the better experiences of his life? Lyf had written all over the board, berating Marius for a lack of investigative rigor and unwillingness to re-examine his basic assumptions, and there was a whole two-page paper on information gathering by doing things like “opening up a news site, Von Raum” or “doing literally any research beyond asking people who are already determined to keep a secret”.

There was a whole guide on cross-examination.

Marius remembered why he had a crush on Lyfrassir Edda.

“Wait. Brian, _get back here, I’m going to kill all of you fuck the concert Brian who told you that this was a morally right action?_ What were the means that justified the ends, Brian!” Brian skidded around the corner and out of sight. “Get back here! I understand the end being making fun of me but what were the means! How was this morally justified!” Marius kept on just barely missing Brian as he went to lunge.

“It was just funny! Leave me alone, we all came back so quickly after you because the Aurora said that Lyfrassir was having some sort of weird eldritch breakdown! Go bug them!”

Marius ran into a wall.

“Aurora, where can I find Inspector Lyf?” A screen gracefully descended from the wall and began to point the way. “Thank you.”

**You are welcome, Marius. Please remove him from the corridor so that I can get the pressure hoses out.**

That was not a comforting sentence to read, and Marius increased his pace from speedwalking to a decent jog. After a few minutes he started hearing an argument and finally saw Raphaella and Jonny in the distance. The Aurora really was too big sometimes for getting places quickly. And yet, on date night, nowhere near big enough. Raph’s wings were spread, blocking Marius’s view of the rest of the corridor. Strangely, the metal had gained an anodized rainbow tint.

“Jonny, I don’t care, Ivy has said that they’re safe to have on the Aurora. You’re not going to get her into space just to airlock him.”

“Yes, I am. Do you want something touched by the Bifrost on the ship? It was all fun and games when it was just that bet about Marius, but this?” Jonny gestured around him as Marius slowed his pace, grateful that Jonny hadn’t heard him yet. “If he’s affecting the area around him, that’s _bad_ , Raph, and I don’t want that on the ship.”

“Well tough shit, you’re outvoted. 5 to 2 with one abstaining. Well, and the Toy Soldier, but it doesn’t get a vote because you’d just order it to agree with you.”

“Well, what about the Aurora!” Jonny stomped one of his boots on the floor to punctuate the sentence. “What does she think?”

“Nastya would never vote for keeping them on the ship if Aurora didn’t want him here, Jonny. Just get out, or Marius will shoot you.” Jonny turned, and Marius met his eyes with a fully loaded pistol. Jonny snarled at him, and moved off.

“And don’t come back again, Jonny! Two tries is enough. We can reconsider when there’s new information.” Jonny snarled some sort of rejoinder as he rounded a corridor. Raph lowered and tucked in her wings, and Marius saw Inspector Lyfrassir Edda and what they had done to the corridor.

It was all rainbow now, anodized into streaks of colors that reminded him uncomfortably of the Bifrost. The metal was warped, slightly, and shouldn’t have still matched at the edges, but— did. Hm. That was a bit. Off-putting.

“It was worse when we got here. It’s healing, which is marvelous, and I’ve been trying to take samples, but I can’t: the walls have been resisting all of my tools. And the Aurora says that she can’t feel anything in it, but the area is smaller. I’d like to see if they can do it again, in controlled conditions!” Raph backed away, wings flaring slightly. “Only if they’re okay with it! Stop looking at me like that, I’m not going to _try_ and upset him! We made friends with them in prison too!”

“Fine. Just— let me get them to a bed.” Marius ran a hand through his hair and yanked it back out when it got caught. “Shit. Do we have a spare bed? I know there’s the empty rooms, but they’ve got to be full of Aurora-knows-what.”

Raph shrugged.

“What’s the point of you keeping the medbay clean if you’re not going to take people there who could actually use it?”

“... Ah. Good point.” Marius finally dragged his gaze to Insp- Former Inspector? Just Lyf? He’d have to ask when they woke up. He walked over, and carefully knelt down. With his fully-flesh hand, he reached down to check Lyf’s pulse.

He couldn’t find a pulse in the wrist. He leaned down and checked Lyf’s neck. Okay. He could feel Lyf breathing, but where was the pulse? Lyfrassir Edda, you were allowed to make fun of his investigative capacities, but please do not be faking not having a pulse to make fun of his ability to do first aid. Shit. Shit, shit.

“Raph, do you have anything that finds pulses? There’s nothing in his wrist or in his neck and he’s barely breathing, I need— something—”

“Get him to the _medbay,_ idiot!” Raphaella hit him with a wing.

“Right, I— right.” Marius scooped up Lyf. As he picked them up, he could swear that Lyf started breathing better, and got warmer. Rainbows he hadn’t even noticed at the corner of Lyf’s eyes receded. It was easier to carry him than it should’ve been, even with a fancy mechanical arm. He carefully positioned Lyf’s head up on his shoulder, so he would hear if they stopped breathing again. The fact that it let him stroke Lyf’s hair was just a happy coincidence. As Marius started to head towards the medbay, Lyf’s arms moved, and they snuggled closer, latching onto Marius.

Marius tried to tell himself that that was just because he was warm and Lyf was cold. He began to jog towards the medbay, whispering as they jogged. 

“You’re not going to die now, Lyfrassir. You didn’t survive the Bifrost just to die from it later. We’re going to have to change the ending of the album, you know. Instead of everyone dying, you escape.” Marius sighed. “I wish I had known you escaped. We could have picked you up.” He was going to _scream_ the moment he had gotten Lyf into a real bed. Lyf wasn’t dead. Lyf wasn’t dead and Marius had been killed and kept dead for _days_ to prevent him from hijacking the ship to try and rescue them and now everyone was acting like it was funny to not tell him that hey, you know that person you got attached to? They’re alive!

There was definitely more to unpack there, but what was knowing enough to pretend to be a psychologist about if not ignoring your own feelings?

Marius kicked open the door to the medbay. Fuck everyone else, keeping the medbay clean had finally paid off. He even put fresh linens on the bed just before the octokitten pit incident. So there was definitely going to be a bed that didn’t have octokitten fur all over it.

Oh shit, what if Lyf was allergic to the octokittens?

No, there were bigger problems here, like the fact that Marius was nearly certain that Lyf actually did get heavier as he jogged towards the medbay since he’d stabilized a corridor back. That was not normal. People were not supposed to get more physically solid while they were being held.

Oh shit, what if Marius left him alone and then Lyf disappeared? That was a real and possible problem. Also, Raphaella would want to know, so Marius should probably do something about that. It was just hard to put scales under a bed while you were holding onto someone, even when they were now clinging to you like a limpet. Or some sort of space barnacle.

Once the scales were finally in place and calibrated, Marius tried to get Lyf into the bed.

It was more difficult than anticipated, given that Lyf did not want to let go of him. But Marius did need to get an actual medical setup going to make sure Lyf still had a pulse. And blood oxygen. And was breathing. Marius hadn’t done any medical research on the people of the Yggdrasil system, but maybe Raphaella or Ivy would share?

Marius finally got Lyf’s fingers untangled from his clothing, and drew a blanket over him. Lyf _whined_ when Marius was finally done untangling his fingers, and Marius did not know how to handle that besides reminding himself that Lyf would definitely be glad in the morning that Marius didn’t just let Lyf remain asleep on him.

He noted down the current weight of the bed’s occupant and left to start getting prepared for further medical emergencies. He had IV nutrients, but they were probably _very_ expired at this point. So he just set up a cuff to monitor Lyf’s blood pressure and pulse and blood oxygen saturation and temperature and scurried off to figure out where he could obtain any sort of medical literature to start faking it _really, really well._

“Raphaella! Amazing person who also wants Lyfrassir to not die! And Ivy, great, glad to catch you both in the same place!” Ivy looked up from her position lounging on a couch while Raphaella played with her hair.

“Marius. You are looking for medical records on the people of the Yggdrasil system.”

“Yes! Thanks Ivy, that’s exactly what I want; please tell me you or Raphaella have them. In return I’m currently measuring Lyf’s weight, because I’m pretty sure they got heavier as I was holding them, and I will be able to prove it if I go back and they’re lighter again. It’s good science, and data, please?” Ivy held out a tablet as Raphaella began to massage her scalp, and he carefully snatched it up.

“We’ve already prepared it. I also downloaded the Inspector’s medical records and added them so that you have a baseline. And I pirated their doctor’s reports.”

Raph snorted.

“They were fucking hilarious. The medical baselines are completely different in this system. And I’m fairly sure that Lyf’s gotten a bit fucked from his exposure to the Bifrost, but they seem to have been doing fine for a few decades, so probably nothing fatal. Don’t forget to bring us the data.”

“We will come and check on you and the Inspector tomorrow morning, Marius. Have a good night. Don’t forget to bring your toothbrush to the medbay.” Marius considered throwing something at the pair, but all he had was the tablet, and he needed that.

“We’re immortal and we heal quickly, I don’t need to worry about cavities.”

“Morning breath.”

Marius flushed.

“We’re not going to be kissing in the morning, I don’t— they’ve just done some weird eldritch shit and they don’t need kissing complications! That would be! Rude! I am a gentleman!” Ivy and Raphaella started laughing, and Marius made the tactical decision to leave the room and close the door behind him. A screen from the Aurora dropped from the ceiling.

 **More important than morning breath would be that perhaps the Former Inspector would appreciate a breakfast in bed? Nastya always appreciates it when I blackmail one of you into bringing her one. Do you know the Former Inspector’s favourite meals?** Marius tried to shove the screen back into the ceiling.

“No! I am not! Getting into this! Right now! There are more important problems than it suddenly being open season on teasing me about my crush again!” Aurora retracted her screen, but the hallway hummed with her laughter as Marius deliberately stomped his way back to the medbay.

He did get his toothbrush. It would be rude to make Lyf smell his morning breath and he _was_ going to try and be polite. No violining until Lyf sassed at him first.

When he got there, Lyf’s temperature had dropped a degree or so. Marius dropped his stuff, and the tablet, on the nearest bed and went to check the readouts.

Hm.

He wasn’t, per se, an expert on anything except the medical needs of the Mechanisms, but he was pretty sure blood oxygen was supposed to remain above 90% instead of hovering around 70%.

He checked the tablet. Okay, so Lyf was just in sleeping mode and this was normal. Great. What the fuck was going on in their biology? That didn’t make any goddamn sense. The temperature drop was more worrying—they shared safe temperature ranges, and that was edging into hypothermia. He reached under the bed and flicked on the heating system.

Heartbeat was getting hard for the machine to pick up as well. He checked the scales under the bed and saw that they were slowly losing weight. Lyf had lost a good amount of mass just lying around and doing nothing.

Hypothesis.

Marius reached out and put his hand on Lyf’s head.

The machine started reading his heartbeat much stronger, and Lyf’s breathing seemed to get better. Rainbows that had begun to stain his hair withdrew, and Marius frowned. This had to be a new development. And a pain to handle. Marius sighed and went to grab an octokitten. If it was just contact with something else alive that was needed to get the Bifrost to back off, he knew where to go.

Finding the feeding stations was a pain, but at least Tim was already at them.

“Tim! I need your cuddliest octokitten.” Tim presented an octokitten. “No, that one ate my stomach and I think it has a taste for my blood now. Can I get a different octokitten?”

Tim sighed.

“What do you want one for anyways? If you’re looking to freak out Jonny, go get one of the more feral ones. These ones have started to respond to names.”

“The— hm. Do you think they’d still prefer a title? Lyfrassir is literally fading out of existence without contact with other living creatures and I want to see if it’ll work with an octokitten.” Tim hummed agreeably and started picking through the mass.

“Bit weird to just go in for the cuddle, yeah.” He held up a tabby octokitten. “Here we go. She answers to Anarchy, and she loves to cuddle.” Marius gingerly accepted the octokitten and was immediately the recipient of purring and snuggles. “Bring her back safe or I will end you.”

“I will do my best. It’s not like Jonny comes into medbay except under extreme duress anyways.” Tim waved him off and Marius booked it back down the halls with the octokitten. Lyf was once again cold and losing mass, and Marius dropped the octokitten onto them. True to Tim’s word, it immediately snuggled under the blanket, curled up, and started purring.

Marius realized he had no idea how much that octokitten weighed. Hm. He checked the scales. The mass was moving slowly but steadily up, so he was probably good not knowing the exact mass of the octokitten. Their temperature was also improving.

Well. There wasn’t much more he could do except maybe get some fluids into Lyf, but they weren’t likely to get dehydrated and also he was really tired and didn’t want to risk some weird rainbow backwash into the IV fluids.

So Marius swept the toothbrush and extra socks onto the bedside table and took off his boots before getting into his own temporary bed.

He really needed to get better mattresses in here. If only they didn’t get wrecked so often that Ashes wouldn’t allocate more money towards it. And no one else wanted to help carry mattresses. Rude. He drifted off into sleep. The monitor would yell at him if Lyf’s vital signs started tanking in the night.

He woke up to an octokitten on his face suffocating him. It was purring at the same time, but still, he didn’t really want to wake up to a lack of oxygen and immediate death.

The next time he woke up, the octokitten was gone, and he gasped back into consciousness mildly panicked. If the octokitten had been on him, what had happened to Lyfrassir? He bolted upright and looked around. The bed that had contained Lyf was empty, and the monitor had been turned off. He glared at it. It was supposed to make loud noises when shutting down.

He heard an octokitten meow from the interrogation room. Cursing his boots, Marius pulled them on before heading in. Lyf had an octokitten in his lap and was petting it as he continued to write all over Marius’ red string board.

“Not that I don’t enjoy the constructive criticism, but it’s generally considered polite to let the attending doctor know you’re checking yourself out.” Lyf turned in the chair and continued to pet the octokitten, who appeared to have quite taken to Lyf. Understandable.

“Maybe if the attending doctor was actually a doctor I would listen to that advice and check myself up.” They reached back and took a long swig from a glass of water.

“Er. Was that glass... clean?”

“Yes. Aurora told me which glasses were clean and also which faucet to get drinkable water from. She also told me that, quote, the kitchen was not currently a habitable zone, unquote.”

“Ah. Ashes probably tried to round out the night with some cooking. Don’t eat their cooking. They mix a mean drink but the only thing they can cook is hangover pancakes.”

Lyf nodded.

“Noted. What was I doing in medbay?” Marius studiously started avoiding eye contact. “Von Raum. What was I doing in sick bay. The last thing I remember was being upset and then being very convinced the corridor was very comfortable and soft.” A question he could answer!  
“Aurora said she used some sleeping gas after you, uh. Well. Would you say you’ve noticed any lingering symptoms of Bifrost exposure? Any... strangeness? Er. What’s your doctor’s contact info, that might be easier?”

Lyf pinched the bridge of their nose.

“My doctor has no idea because he has no idea about any of my biology. So no. My only symptoms had been migraines, until recently. Well. And.” Lyf started petting the octokitten a bit more vigorously. “My lifespan is definitely expanded. Or hadn’t you noticed I haven’t aged?”

Marius blinked at Lyf. He honestly hadn’t noticed.

“I’m used to people not aging, Inspector, sorry! It doesn’t register as weird to anyone in this crew!”

“Well it’s _not_ normal for me, no!” The octokitten slapped Lyf with a tentacle. He stopped petting, and then resumed but slower. “So. How long was I out? How many messages am I going to need to backread on my phone?”

Marius hmmmmed.

“I mean, how many do you normally get in a night? It’s only...” He pulled out his own phone. “10am, ish. That planet’s time. I think. If I’m doing the conversion right.” Lyf faceplanted into the octokitten and groaned. “Oh, it’s not that bad, Lyfrassir! We’re on schedule to make the next planet!” Lyf’s head snapped back up.

“My ship. I had outfits and everything on it. Did you all actually pick it up?”

Marius shrugged.

“Von Raum! I cannot just wear— this, for the next however long until it takes you to make the planet! I need clothing! I need to let people know that I’m not dead!”

“I mean, whoever’s on comms has probably handled that.”

“And what if it’s D’Ville and he just sent them a whole new batch of dick jokes?” Lyf got out of the chair and started to march past Marius, who stuck out an arm. Lyf ducked under and kept going. Short stubborn Former Inspector.

“Do you even know how to get to comms?” Marius trailed behind Lyf, watching them move with purpose throughout the ship.

“The Aurora gave me a very thorough tour, Von Raum. It was all a distraction, I am now fairly sure, but it’s still useful.”

So there wasn’t much to do but follow Lyf around and maybe try to get some breakfast in him at some point. Maybe his ship would have some medical records? Worth a try! But he didn’t want to leave Lyf alone to face the rest of the Mechs, even if they had managed it before, so Marius resigned himself to a day of watching the equivalent of one of those videos of a bird bothering a much larger bird and somehow getting away with it.

Should be fun.

At least until Marius had to actually sit Lyf down and question him about the whole rainbow thing. And the fading-away thing. The vital signs thing. All of that.

Hm. Better not to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: stop posting chapters late at night.  
> also me: hm. interesting thought. fuck you.
> 
> they interact and they're both conscious! and refusing to be tender outside of their thoughts but what can you do besides be mean to them


	7. Chapter 7

So things could be going a lot worse, all said and done. Brian had, in fact, gotten Lyf’s ship on board, so he had all of his clothing and pain medications and even a plant that he had forgotten about on the ship and that was nearly dead. It had served as a decent distraction to shove at Von Raum so that they could shower and change in peace. They weren’t sure exactly what had happened after they got— angry, but it had left annoying crusts of rainbow iridescence that he had to vigorously shampoo out. In order to do that, they had to detangle all of their braids, and it was an annoying process. Especially with Von Raum making noise outside the bathroom door. 

Von Raum had been following Lyf around like a particularly lost dog. Lyf had tried to lose him a few times, but it hadn’t really been at all effective. Lyf suspected the Aurora had something to do with it, but wasn’t going to attempt calling the ship out. She would probably just retaliate much better than Lyf ever could, and that was not a war of escalation he wanted to get involved in. For one thing, she definitely had video of Lyf dropping Anarchy onto Von Raum’s face. Even more fitting, since he had found out her name. She was a very good abomination against nature, and a very soothing one. Lyf was sort of wondering if he could adopt her. Maybe the Aurora would know. Lyf heard the knock on the door of the fairly cramped ship bathroom.

The shower was very soothing. Warm water, filtered and recirculated, washing over Lyf and carrying off the eldritch remnants that clung to them even now. It would be nice if this wasn’t something they had thought they were done with by now.

They took their time washing out their hair and rubbing conditioner in. It was a calming ritual, taking care of their hair and self. They were in the middle of just enjoying the pressure of the water when another knock broke them out of their reverie. 

“Inspector? You’re still alive in there? Haven’t passed out from, uh, your horrifying levels of blood oxygen saturation?”

“It’s normal for me,” Lyf snapped back at the door, “and it was normal for everyone else in the Yggdrasil system! I’m not going through someone who I’m sure isn’t even a doctor making horrified faces at my biology, I got enough of that when I first arrived on this planet.” Lyf heard a chuckle from the other side of the door as they grabbed a towel and worked to dry off.

“I have got to actually read your medical records.”

“Yes, I suppose you wouldn’t have any concept of medical privacy or doctor-patient confidentiality, Von Raum.” Where the hell had he— ah, there’s where he’d hung up his clothes.

“Well it’s not like we can fly you back in the middle of a concert if something goes wrong. I should know this stuff! Or Brian. Brian could also know this stuff, he’s also a doctor.” Lyf finished buttoning his vest and threw open the door.

“You have a doctor piloting your ship but not one in your medbay.”

“Hey, I’ve got centuries of experience! Almost a millennia logged of total docting time! Can any other doctor besides Brian who is alive say that?” Marius was holding Anarchy and carefully feeding her some of the fish from Lyf’s food storage. Bastard.

“No, because that’s not how lifespans work, Von Raum. Give me the cat.” Lyf plucked Anarchy from Von Raum’s lap, detaching some of the suckers from his skin, and carefully placed her on their shoulder. Anarchy glooped over so that she was hanging across Lyf’s shoulders and, from what Lyf could tell, she looked quite content.

“It is so weird to see an octokitten being calm and happy on someone. But I’m glad you like her! Did you, uh, want to talk to anyone else?” Von Raum had sat down at the small table of Lyf’s living space, despite the fact that Lyf knew from the noises that he had been moving around and probably opening boxes. But now he just sat and beamed a smile at Lyf, acting perfectly innocent.

To be fair, it was a fairly cramped ship, especially when compared to the Aurora, so maybe he was exercising restraint and politeness for once in his life and trying not to crowd into Lyfrassir’s space by sitting down. Lyf sat down at the same table.

“Not to open up a larger can of worms than I really want to at this time. But what happened when I passed out?” Von Raum stared at the ceiling and pursed his lips nervously. “Von Raum. I will sic Anarchy on you again. What happened when I passed out that made the Aurora feel like she needed to use sleeping gas on me.”

Von Raum looked at the floor and started nervously tapping his calloused fingers on the table.

“Well. Uh, I’ll have to check, with the Aurora, if you want me to be fully accurate, but I think I can manage something, probably, a rough understanding of the events as they transpired, as it were, based on what I heard from Raphaella, and a bit from the Aurora, but you might be better off asking either one of them directly?”

“Von Raum, you’re avoiding the subject. Please refer to the essay I wrote out for you on how to cross-examine a suspect, although this doesn’t even count as a cross-examination. You’re doing a horrible job of keeping this a secret if that’s what you wanted. _What do you not want to tell me?_ ”

“When you were passed out, if you weren’t in contact with someone or something living, like an octokitten, you started to fade from reality measurably in regards to mass and heartbeat, and it was really, really weird, I’ve never seen anything like that before.” Von Raum’s mouth snapped shut after that outpouring, his hand actually lifting to cover his mouth as his eyes went wide, and Lyf took a second to process all of that.

“I was. Fading out of reality.” Lyf pinched the bridge of their nose and massaged it slightly. He can’t say that’s what he didn’t want to hear, since it was incredibly unexpected. On the other hand, they weren’t turning into a squamous thing in their sleep. “Alright. That’s a new one, I have to admit.”

“So there’s... normal side effects? That you’ve been experiencing?” Von Raum perked up, looking excited to speak, as always. “To be honest I haven’t had time to go through your hacked medical records, other than checking to figure out what your vitals are supposed to look like, so I have no idea what you’ve told your main doctor. Or if you have! Or, to be honest, what’s even supposed to be normal for you beyond vital signs. Is your heartbeat supposed to be quite so strong?” Von Raum had spread his fingers and smoothly transitioned into cupping his chin while leaning forward with an elbow on the table as words ran out of his mouth.

“Yes, well, I haven’t exactly told my doctor any of this,” Lyf snapped, “because I don’t know how to even get into a conversation about how I escaped a horrible eldritch apocalypse and now occasionally my hair and skin go a bit rainbow when I’m stressed. Or. Feeling overly. So I don’t. I haven’t even mentioned that my life span is getting weird, Von Raum, they could barely handle my third lung, how are they supposed to handle any of that?

“I suppose McAlistair did do his best, but still. It took me two days to communicate that I needed calcium tablets, how was I supposed to get started on anything else? Then it was just easier to handle it myself. You’re all immortal space pirates, I can’t imagine you lot haven’t done the same with whatever issues plague you.”

Von Raum blinked. His fingers were still partially covering his mouth.

“That’s fair. No one likes me psychoanalyzing them on this ship, so you do have us pegged on that! Do you need me to do anything for you? Go get calcium supplements? I think we’ve either got some or the Aurora should be able to make them. And you didn’t answer the heart question.” Lyf shook his head. They’d been living on their own in the Lotus system for decades, and Von Raum had been the first person who wasn’t their doctor to actually ask about their biology and ask follow up questions.

And he _had_ tried to date, so that was probably a pretty sad statement.

“I’ve got plenty of calcium on board. It’s fine. And yes, the heart thing is normal. Just read the pirated medical records, don’t waste the effort of whoever actually did it.” Von Raum looked around in overdone surprise, gasping and placing a hand to his chest like some sort of old film Asgardian noble who was just shocked, _shocked_ to imagine that you could believe anything illegal was going on in _his_ house! The suggestion of impropriety! Lyf dragged his mind back just in time to actually hear Von Raum respond.

“Lyfrassir, are you implying that I don’t have the ability to hack your medical records from a system like this?”  
“Yes.”

“I’m hurt, right through the heart.” Von Raum mimed being shot with an arrow. “How could you possibly believe me so incompetent? I could’ve if I really wanted to.”

“But Alexandria did it.”

“Actually it was a joint effort by Ivy and Raph, but half right!” Von Raum shot him one finger gun.

“Don’t. In any case I would apologize for the lack of room but you’re the one following me around. I need to get to work.”

“Yes, I did notice that the inside of your ship looked remarkably like a doomsday prepper’s wet dream. Do you always have almost all the space taken up with cartons of... I’m not sure what, honestly, I opened one crate and it just looked like centrifuged octokittens. But then I opened another one and it had spare parts?”

“It’s material for the replicator.” Lyf squinted at Von Raum. “Do you all not have replicators? I would assume that if you didn’t you would’ve stolen the tech while you were pirating around for those decades.”

Von Raum relaxed from the shocked pose and considered for a moment.

“We might, but I don’t know about it. Actually, that would explain why Ashes has been so much more lax about me eating all the weird delicacies first; maybe they did get some installed.”

How one man could be so dumb and unobservant and still survive was beyond Lyfrassir. Well. Immortality, yes, but still, it was— no, it wasn’t endearing, mind out of there. It was infuriating because Von Raum was infuriating and that was all there was to it, Lyfrassir, remember that. They wished they had something to chuck at his stupid face.

“Well, that’s what it is. And I know it’s taking up all the space, but it’s not like I could afford a large or well-equipped ship. I had to take what I could get, and the Holt has served me quite well, thank you.”

Von Raum hummed noncommittally and looked around.

“It’s very you. Stuff everywhere but it’s organized. I remember your office.”

“I hated that office. I never understood the purpose of having an office that prisoners could see any of, nevermind having a whole one-way glass wall that you lot managed to completely ignore.”

“Well we caused a lot of mischief! I’m sure they just wanted you to keep an eye on us.”

“Regrettably, a duty that has followed me through star systems. I suppose you’ve all been causing trouble without regard for the people that have to clean up after your mess?”

“Well, we don’t really give a shit about cops.” Von Raum’s easy smile caught Lyf off guard. It was the same smile he had used in a prison cell. “You’re the single exception! Aren’t you proud? Besides, we’re pirates, it’s in the title. I think you’ll find that very few morals survive when you’re immortal.” He tapped his lower lip with a finger. “And you get a much lower bar for what’s annoying.”

“I’m surprised you lot let yourselves be locked up and talked to by me, then,” Lyf interjected dryly before Von Raum could take a breath to continue. He was dazed with another one of Von Raum’s brilliant smiles.

“Well, you were fun to bother, Lyf! A junior transport officer who gets stuck with us for decades? That’s fun! Besides, it means we all finally got a nap without having to worry about not having any warning before Jonny burst in with a new plan to do some violence. Some of us want the do not disturb signs on our doors taken seriously.” He paused. “Actually I think that might just be me and Brian and Nastya.”

“So what you’re saying is that while I’m stuck here as you and the rest of your chaotic miscreants go touring through this star system, I had better lock the door.”

“Ooooh.” Von Raum grimaced with his whole body. “Better not. It’ll just get destroyed. Do you have a gun? That’s probably best.”

“... I have a taser and an illegal gun that is not currently on my person.” Lyf pulled the taser from its pocket. Von Raum snatched it and electrocuted himself, falling to the floor. Oh. He had taken off his boots at the door. How nice of him. And he was locked in place with his finger on the taser. Lyf sighed and leaned down to yank the taser out of Von Raum’s hand and tuck it away again. 

“You’re an idiot, Von Raum.”

“I kn-n-n-now. That. Whoo! That was a kick.” He finally relaxed on the floor, unlocking his muscles. “Yeah, that should work on everyone except maybe Jonny. Jonny... Don’t tase Jonny.”

“I was not planning on tasing any of you. But I will keep that in mind.” Lyf nudged Von Raum with his foot. He was flushed, probably from the tasing. He didn’t move.

Anarchy glooped off of the table and landed on Von Raum, who started flailing at her. She was a good octokitten. Lyf took out more of the fish jerky and lured her off of Von Raum with it. 

“I need to check in with where the lot of you are actually going to be performing next, so if you don’t mind, get out. I assume you want them to be prepared, in any case.”

“Oh! Right. Yes. Of course. I will— send Ashes over, they’ll actually know what we need from it and what we’d like, and all. Yes. I will just. Get going!” Von Raum scrambled upright, still strangely flushed, and headed to the door. Lyf followed him out, and watched as Von Raum put on his boots’ belts with a pained grimace.

“I know you can’t actually help it, but please take it from me that those are two completely different colors and you really should take me to go shopping with you. So you can get something at least approximating the right color.”

“Uh. Lyfrassir? What are you talking about?”

“Your boots. And your boot belts. Are two different colors. And I’ve spent decades in this system and I know that you’re all colorblind outside of Yggdrasil and it’s very, very sad, but please take my word for it when I say that those are completely different colors.”

Marius grimaced. “Er. I. Uh, I know that they’re beige and the boots are black. I just. This is how I like to wear them?” Lyf let out an inarticulate sound of rage.

“ _Out, Von Raum._ ” He scampered out of sight without even finishing putting his boots on, making for a strange mix of sound as boot and foot hit metal. Good riddance. The man was walking around with beige belts on his black boots and he knew what he was doing.

Insufferable.

Working with O’Reilly was at least simple. They told them what the Mechanisms were looking for in the next venue. They told them that yes, the interns had bought up all the makeup around the amphitheatre, but they could use more so make sure that there’s more available, and also that the Mechanisms intended to take a few days on this planet. They also joked about gender with Lyf for a few minutes before leaving.

Being aboard the Aurora had one major advantage over being on the ground trying to organize all of this: Lyf could just write up the requirements and send them off to whatever poor sap was stuck organizing everyone on the next planet and now it was their job. Good luck, sucker, send a follow-up email if you need more information and none of this is exaggeration.

So Lyf had a lot more free time than they really expected to have while on the Aurora. Everyone had settled back into their own lives, and Lyf had extracted a promise from a laughing O’Reilly to avoid Von Raum, so they probably even had some free time without getting followed around. Anarchy had been wonderful and calming the whole time they were talking with O’Reilly, climbing on Lyf when they started getting upset, and generally being a very sensitive and understanding octokitten.

Lyf was definitely keeping her if it was at all possible. There had to be someone to talk to about that, and maybe also something that could be used as a collar or a little vest so that Anarchy could be differentiated. They left their ship, Anarchy in hands, and went to find literally anyone who could help with that issue.

The Aurora was way too big. They were careful not to say that out loud, because offending the sentient starship that you are currently living on is not how you have a happy life, but Lyf had already forgotten the twists and turns of the ship that weren’t on the main path. In the smaller passageways, octokittens scampered out of their path, and they occasionally saw human forms in the distance that quickly disappeared into vents or just... into nowhere. It would make sense, if a pirate ship was also a ghost ship. Or maybe it was whatever the stowaways were that Aurora had mentioned.

Eventually, Lyf heard a high-pitched voice singing, and followed it to find the Toy Soldier whittling wood. Not its own wood, thankfully, as Lyf had been told by Nastya that it was made of wood, but blocks of wood scattered at its feet. It was surrounded by wooden teeth, and ribboned bags that presumably also had teeth.

Lyf had no idea how to even begin to ask what was going on. The Toy Soldier looked up and paused in its song—something about not being a gambling man?—and waved at Lyf.

“Inspector! Hello, What Brings You Here? Come In, Come In!” Lyf gingerly entered the room, nudging aside wooden teeth with his feet. Anarchy flowed out of their hands and began playing in the teeth. “What A Wonderful Octokitten! Jonny Doesn’t Like Them, But I Think They’re Jolly Good Fun To Play With.”

“Uh. I would like to adopt her, yes; is there... anything I need to do? To mark her as mine?”  
“Well, If You Want Jonny To Not Shoot Her, I Could Make Her A Tactical Vest! Nice And Bulletproof!” Lyf blinked, trying to comprehend anything that was going on.

“I— that would be very nice of you, thank you. Whenever you’ve got time.”

“I’ll Get To Work On It As Soon As I Am Done With My Next Bag Of Teeth!” The Toy Soldier leaned in, managing a conspiratorial air. “They’re Going To Be Party Favors! For The Concert-Goers! Just A Fun Little Surprise, From Me To Them!” It handed him a bag. Lyf looked inside. It was full of wooden teeth. Molars, canines, incisors, just... everything. Perfect tiny replicas. Some of them even looked like they had fake cavities.

“I don’t know what I expected.”

“I Hope You Expected Teeth, Inspector!” Lyf gingerly handed the bag back to the Toy Soldier.

“I did, just not carved quite so well. You definitely have a talent. Is there, uh, anything else you’ve made?”

“Oh Yes! I Have Carved Flutes For Ivy, Small Replicas Of People For Many Of My Friends, And Many Many Carved Octokittens! Oh, And All Of My Organs. It’s Important To Have Organs, And I Made My Own!”

“That’s. Very Impressive. I mean, that’s very impressive, Toy Soldier. Do you mind if I sit down?” The Toy Soldier cleared away a space next to it by the wall, and Lyf sat down. The Toy Soldier didn’t mind when Lyf didn’t pick up the conversation, just kept on carving away at the wood. The sound was soothing, and eventually the Toy Soldier’s voice picked up again in song.

Lyf heard the tales of many as the Toy Soldier practiced, letting their body relax into the experience of just being near another living being. Anarchy oozed around the room, picking up and dropping things, crawling over the Toy Soldier, and eventually settling down for a purr in Lyf’s lap. The Toy Soldier moved on to sewing together a high-visibility vest for Anarchy. And as it sewed, it sang, repeating the songs Lyf had heard before, and Lyf added a low hum of melody that seemed to fit. The Toy Soldier clapped briefly, and they continued until Jonny threw open the door, shot the Toy Soldier, and nearly shot Anarchy before he saw the high-vis vest and groaned.

“Did you make a pet out of one of those fuckers?” Lyf grabbed Anarchy, operating on the assumption that Jonny would hopefully not shoot Anarchy if it would also hurt him. Fingers crossed. Since they had been helpful. “Oh Christ, you have. Fine. Keep the damn vest on it and if it tries to eat anyone I toss it out an airlock. Anyways, your phone has been blowing up—”

“I need that phone, D’Ville, please do _not_ tell me someone blew it up!” D’Ville stopped and frowned at Lyf, before grinning slightly. Lyf groaned. “Oh, no. Someone blew it up.”

D’Ville shook himself, and Lyf could have sworn he looked very slightly, very briefly confused.

“No, it’s not literally blowing up, _Edda_ , it just won’t stop making noise and Von Raum threw himself over it so I can’t shoot it. Go handle your shit or at least put it on silent.”

“Sorry. I thought I— Oh, that’s my work phone, they can technically override it. I’ll go handle it.”

“ _Do_. It’s getting on my fucking nerves. Oh hell, more teeth? There’s already a room full of them!” Lyf edged their way past D’Ville and out the door and jogged back, following their own steps, to their ship.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> marius gets made fun of, so business as usual. octokitten violence resumes, and so does canon-typical violence and death

Marius kept on running into the depths of the Aurora for longer than he probably should’ve with one unbooted foot. Now he had a glassy foot and there was no way he could tell anyone else. Jonny would fucking destroy him in the group chat after how they had all reacted when he got glass in his foot.

Maybe he should bug Raph or Nastya into making some robot vacuums. They could probably make some pretty sweet-ass robot vacuums. Maybe they could have a contest of who could make the best robot vacuum and then pick up the most trash with it.

Maybe he just wanted to pilot a robot, but that wasn’t a crime.

Marius plucked the glass shards out of his foot one by one, and threw them at the octokitten that was following him around. It ate them. Marius was pretty sure that this was the same octokitten that had eaten his stomach and licked up his blood, so it was kind of disturbing that it had apparently gotten such a taste for his flesh. But he was fine feeding it weird glass shards with his blood on them. It wasn’t technically sanitary, but he was also immortal and immune to infection, so he just put the sock and boot back on before tightening the boot belts.

Lyf had really thought that Marius wasn’t making a purposeful choice with his beige boot belts. Maybe he could pick up some really garish clothing on the next planet and convince Lyf that he thought it was all the same shade. Just the weirdest mix of reds and greens possible. Get some yellows and oranges in there and convince Lyf that he thought it was all the same. That could be incredibly amusing if he wasn’t ratted out first.

Wait. He still had the kneepads. That could be great.

Marius felt another wave of desire to leave slide over him, gentler than the first time. That had been weird in the first place. With a little more distance from it, Marius recognized that he actually hadn’t wanted to leave before Lyf had told him to. Which was weird! Maybe that was an eldritch side effect that Lyf just didn’t know about. He could do some fun experimenting figuring out what was going on there!

Oh shit, if Lyf didn’t know what they were doing, that could be pretty bad if he did that to anyone else. Well, Raph would just want to do some invasive experiments, but literally anyone else could kill him. He should probably find Lyf. And figure out a good way to phrase “so I think you accidentally made me leave and also tell you what I was worrying about because I really didn’t mean to dump all of that on you at once, sorry about that but I played it off great huh!”

Maybe he was rambling in his own brain and should get going.

Maybe instead he would check the group chat and see if anyone knew where Lyf was, and also how much time he had lost carefully picking glass out of his foot. Maybe he should’ve gotten a metal foot. Nah. He did not want to imagine a metal foot with interchangeable toe types. Horrifying thought. If the Moon Kaiser had survived after Jonny bit his toes, he’d probably have metal toes and a flesh foot, and Marius did not want to have anything in common with that dude based on what Tim had told him.

Oh shit, his phone was buzzing.

**Arson O’Insurance:**

@Banned For Emotional Crimes I cant believe you pre-spoiled all my gender jokes for Lyf. They said they knew them already. How could you.

**Banned For Emotional Crimes:**

Who changed my name again

_Banned for Emotional Crimes has changed name to d-doctow?_

And I didn’t! It’s not my fault they know them don’t fire me :(

**Arson O’Insurance:**

Ur on thin ice for now watch it

**Aurora’s Greatest Love Machine:**

Oh hey Marius if you’re actually online and free and not just following Lyf around pining can i get you for a bit

In raph’s lab

Dont go offline 

MARIUS

**d-doctow?:**

Clam down im typing

**Arson O’Insurance:**

clam

**Aurora’s Greatest Love Machine:**

Clam

**Eføy:**

clam

**d-doctow?:**

Fuck you

Im otw 

Although speaking of lyf anyone know what theyre up to right now

**Aurora’s Greatest Love Machine:**

Jesus Christ

**Assigned Boring By Vote:**

Yeah?

Marius tucked his phone back in his pocket and groaned. At least everyone might get distracted by Brian’s joke. Hopefully he wouldn’t come back to a new nickname. He definitely would, but maybe it wouldn’t be horrible.

It wasn’t that far from his current location to Raphaella’s lab, so he got his butt over there pretty quickly. He could hear laughter inside, which was definitely a bad sign, but he’d never been known for his rational and considered decisions, so he just walked right in.

Raphaella and Nastya turned to look at him, and they both simultaneously smirked.

Rude. He hadn’t done anything recently that would merit that level of smugness.

“Hopeless fuck!”

“Annoying bird.”

“That hurts. Also, it isn’t even creative, you’ve used it too many times before.”

“Well you’ve— ouch, you have used hopeless fuck before. Be nice.”

Raph snorted, and her wings fluffed out in what Marius knew to read as amusement.

“I got tired of your crush a decade in, Marius, I think I can call you hopeless if you haven’t even managed to have a talk about your feelings yet.”

If he had feathers they would probably be poofing, but in irritation.

“She has a point, Marius! Look at me and the Aurora. We have been in a loving and committed relationship for many centuries. The real trick—” Nastya waved her hand grandiosely “—is communication, and that is not something you are actually good at, my friend.”

“Hey!” Marius was pretty sure he really did look like an angry bird at this point. “I communicate very well! I can be the most eloquent member of this group, thank you, I will not have my speeches maligned like this!”

Raphaella and Nastya sighed in unison and shook their heads. It was annoying, and just made him bristle up more.

“Marius, talking isn’t the same thing as actually communicating, and you know it.” He did not come here to be attacked like this. After centuries of life he definitely had the rights to a bit more respect than this. “In any case,” Raph continued, “that’s not actually why we called you here. We called you here because the Aurora said the octokitten that escaped my lab has been following you around and we wanted to capture it.”

Marius blinked and deflated.

“What?”

“The murderous octokitten that wants your blood, Marius, keep up. It’s right behind you.” Nastya’s statement was corroborated by the sudden weight on his back. He toppled forward and winced as he heard a crunch in his face as he hit the floor, and felt the pain of an octokitten beginning to munch on him. Fuck. He liked this shirt.

“Should we try to corral it?”

“No, wait until it’s gotten a bit less rowdy. It definitely looks like attempting to remove it now would just be painful for us.” The octokitten had severed Marius’s spine, so at least he couldn’t feel what was going on back there now. Just hear the wet munching.

“Not to repeat my previous mistakes, but, Raphaella?”

“Yes, Marius?”

Marius flipped Raphaella off with two fingers and lost both of them. Oh well. Sometimes you had to repeat the mistakes of the past. He winced as his spine healed and then was promptly re-chewed on by the octokitten. This was not going to be fun.

He reached down to his gun and decided to take a break, and to hope that when he came back, maybe they would have removed the octokitten.

When they had finally freed Marius from the stubborn clasp of the octokitten, Nastya had left a meal in front of Marius on a tray. There was a note attached.

“Get your shit together, Marius? Oh, real funny, Nastya.” Marius rolled over, wincing, and gingerly sat up. He felt around on his back. It felt like his flesh had mostly come back, but his shirt was ruined. He was hungry, at least, so he briefly checked over the food Nastya had left and then shoveled it down. She had to stop making space borscht and giving it to people, but he wasn’t going to complain after all of the healing he’d just had to do.

He heard a series of thumps, and looked up to see the octokitten that had been eating his back, now housed in a thick glass tank. He flipped it off and didn’t lose a middle finger. Then he heard a grump from behind him and quickly put both hands back on the tray.

“That’s better. Don’t flip off the experiment. It’s a very hungry octokitten, isn’t it?” Raph walked over to the tank and stroked the glass. The octokitten lashed out and rattled the tank. “I can’t wait to find out what makes it different. I hope you don’t mind if I need a few more samples from you.”

Marius sighed.

“Fine, but only if you’ll help me with a little problem.” Marius didn’t bother faking a smile for Raphaella. “Well, it’s maybe a bit medium, but considering you want me to keep on giving you flesh to feed the octokitten for who knows how long, I think it’s an even trade.”

Raphaella narrowed her eyes at him and sat down on a lab stool, patting the one next to her.

“Join me on this stool and tell me about your problem, Marius.” He dragged himself up, wincing slightly as the muscles that hadn’t finished their reform complained rather loudly. He tapped his fingers on the table. “Stop your nervous habit and get to the point.”

“Well, you know how you’ve been curious about possible other eldritch side effects with our dear Former Inspector Lyfrassir Edda?”

“ _Your_ dear. He’s quite fun and I’m looking forward to seeing if that’s still the case, but I’m not the one who had the persistent crush.” Marius pouted at Raphaella, and she rolled her eyes. “Alright, they’re cute. But forgive me if I didn’t get emotionally attached to people from a system that we thought would _all_ die. Maybe now that it looks like they might actually live a long and interesting life.”

“Hmmm. Well. I’m pretty sure— and Aurora, please don’t tell anyone else—”

Raphaella raised an eyebrow.

“Ominous. Continue.”

“I think that Lyf’s developed compulsion powers. Probably recently or they would’ve already realized. I mean, it would be kind of hard to overlook.”

Raphaella leaned in, putting her face right next to Marius’ as she searched his eyes.

“State the observations that led you to this conclusion.”

“Er. Well, the first maybe isn’t that convincing, but they asked me a question rather forcefully that I’d really rather have not answered, and the whole stream-of-consciousness answer just fell out of my mouth.” Marius moved his face back a bit so that it would be polite to sigh. “And while you can argue that I do generally talk like that, I do put thought into it, and hadn’t intended to tell the dear Former Inspector that they had been fading from existence.”

Raphaella leaned back, and her wings spread to surround Marius and herself in their own private sphere.

“Very interesting, Marius. I believe you. I know that you generally do actually put some thought into your words.” She smirked. “Mostly. You said first. What was your second observation?”

“Well, I was leaving, and I was putting on my boot and boot belts, and Lyf found out that I actually knew that they were a different color from my boots; you know, the extra cones? In the eyes? Apparently?”

“Yes, I did the scientific research, continue.”

“Well. They told me to get out very emphatically and I didn’t even finish putting on my other boot or do a parting comment or anything. I just— left.”

“Oh. That is very uncharacteristic of you.”

“Yes! And I didn’t even realize until I was far enough away that I guess it counted as my having left. So I have no idea how to bring that up in a tasteful and respectful manner, but I thought maybe you could help with that, and also how to test it and help them get it under control.”

“Yes, that would be important. What with...” Raph’s wings flexed in a shudder around them. “That woman’s influence on the rest.” Marius nodded until he got dizzy. “Stop that. This is concerning, though.”

“Yeah, what made them get more...?” Marius wiggled his fingers in what he hoped was an eldritch motion.

“Don’t do that. But yes, that is important to figure out. Perhaps I will take a look at Lyfrassir’s medical records as well.” Raph folded her wings back, and Marius winced at the influx of fresh cold air onto his back. He really needed to go slap a band-aid on that until it finished healing. “Get out. I’ll figure something out for you to take to Lyfrassir, and until then, I suppose I’ll have to actually condone you following them around like you’re tethered at the waist.”

Marius perked up.

“So you’ll stop teasing me?”

“No. But you can know, inside, that I’m putting on a front for the others. Now get out of here. While you were out Ivy texted me that your you-wish-they-were-your datemate’s phone has been making annoying noises, and the Aurora wants you to please take care of it. I think Jonny might already have been alerted as the second option.”

Marius bolted upright and out the door. As he left, he heard Raphaella’s parting shot: “Have fun defending a poor, defenceless phone!”

He decided to check his own phone and see if Jonny really was on the way to destroy Lyfrassir’s phone. Ah. He’d missed several pings.

**Eføy:**

Jonny please kill the phone quickly Aurora keeps on piping the pings into my room.

Or I will kill you

And change your name to First Mate again

**yuor devil:**

fuck u im going as fast as i can?

not my fault i was on the other side of the ship lmao

hunting the ts >:)

**A friend!:**

I Am Hiding Very Well Today :)

**your angle:**

its okay i sent marius so now its a race

**yuor devil:**

o fuck speedin up

**d-doctow?:**

Dont fucking speed up slow down

Lyf will fucking kill me if he cant do his job

**yuor devil:**

sounds like a u prob lmao be faster

_yuor devil changed d-doctow?’s name to snail_

_Eføy changed snail’s name to snegl_

**Eføy:**

Someone remind me to invite Lyfrassir before I change my name off of this

**your angle:**

will do!

_yuor devil is typing..._

Marius stuffed his phone back into his pocket and decided that maybe he could run faster if he wasn’t typing at the same time. On the other hand, Jonny was doing the same thing, and hopefully would be for longer, so maybe he’d get there first?

Also, Jonny was shorter, so his little legs would cause him more difficulties, but he could never tell Jonny that until he was being _particularly_ annoying. So sometime within the next day. Marius dove into Lyf’s ship and on top of the phone, and then looked around. Jonny did not appear to be nearby. He dug the phone out from under him and answered it. The screen filled with a somewhat worried face.

“You aren’t Edda.”

“Astute observation! No, I think they’re off— uh, on the ship somewhere. The ship their ship is inside of, the Aurora.” Marius tried a disarming smile. “If you don’t mind holding, I’m sure I can get them for you? Sorry, who are you?”

“I’m their boss.”

“That doesn’t actually tell me anything; they just complain about us, not a boss.”

“... Whatever. I’d appreciate actually speaking with my employee, as I need to go over some paperwork with them and make sure that they, well, really meant this submitted concert plan.” Marius propped up the phone so that he could prop his head up in his hands and look into the phone.

“I’m sure they already got rid of the wildest stuff that Ashes suggested! They seem pretty reasonable about that.”

“Well, this concert plan isn’t. Are you going to get Edda?”

Marius took out his own phone.

“Let me send off a text and see if someone else can get him, I’ve gotta guard their phone or Jonny will shoot it.” The person on the other side of the phone looked weirdly worried about that. Hadn’t Lyfrassir explained about the Mechanisms?

**snegl:**

Hey can someone get Lyf? Their boss wants to talk to them

**Arson O’Insurance:**

ew. capitalism. get it away.

@Aurora’s Greatest Love Machine hey can u tell ur gf to tell Lyf that capitalism is looking to suck out their soul?

**Girlfriend Material:**

Nastya is busy ;)

**yuor devil:**

ew

Oh fuck not the prs

**snegl:**

lmao wasted by the aurora

Wait. The water noises were coming from right outside. That wasn’t good.

“Hey, I might have to put you on hold? Jonny’s probably pissed he lost the race to the phone, and I assume you probably don’t want to watch that argument happen.”

“Where. Is. Edda.” Their boss was gritting their teeth and looked really stressed.

“It’s my recommendation as a doctor that you relax! You don’t hear about someone’s whereabouts for a few minutes and you freak? That’s not a great sign, you should probably calm down.”

Then he hung up and shoved the phone down his shirt, and ducked under the table to hide from Jonny. This was not a very successful scheme, but he curled into a ball and locked his metal arm over the phone and hoped that it would work out. He heard a gunshot, and it all went a bit dark until he woke up with blood on Lyf’s floor and with Lyf’s phone yelling at him.

Rude.

You save a phone and all you get is yelled at by that phone. Urgh. His hair felt really matted and his shirt was basically worthless at this point. Maybe Lyfrassir would let him borrow the shower before he left? He really didn’t want to walk around looking like the victim in a horror movie. It felt disgusting, and unlike some people, he did enjoy a good shower.

And this shirt and vest really needed a change. Marius stripped the tattered fabric off and carefully bundled it outside Lyf’s ship. He tucked Lyf’s yelling phone into his back pocket and went to grab a towel or something to clean the blood off with.

He could be considerate. He even found a black towel to use. He figured that if it was already stained with weird rainbows, blood was probably no big deal. It wasn’t like it could get stained worse. The Aurora very kindly pressure washed the towel after each of the multiple times it took to scrub all the blood off of the floor. He also got pressure washed in the process, but hey! Free shower and only one death due to lack of oxygen, and those didn’t leave you covered with blood.

Lyf’s phone kept on screaming, and despite multiple pressure washes by the Aurora it did not appear ready to stop, so Marius took it back into Lyf’s ship and started piling pillows on it to try and keep it quiet. In the middle of this, he felt an octokitten start to climb up onto him, and started to flail at it and go for his gun before seeing that it had...

What the fuck, it had a bright pink and orange vest on it? Oh. Anarchy. He heard a stifled laugh from behind him and turned around to see Lyf in the doorway, face in their hands, laughing quietly. They took a deep breath in and looked up, their cheeks still flushed. It was. Really cute.

“Marius, why are you stacking things on top of my phone while dripping wet? And mostly naked?” Ah. He’d forgotten about his vest and shirt getting shredded. He was just standing mostly naked in Lyf’s living space while mostly naked. Hopefully Lyf wasn’t uncomfortable. Maybe he should just leave? Lyf snapped his fingers in front of Marius’ face.

“Ah— Sorry?”

“You zoned out. It was a simple question.”

“Ah! Right, yes, uh—” Marius finally extracted the phone “—so your phone was making a lot of really annoying noises and Jonny was going to shoot it and I protected it but I did... well, not protect my clothing.” Marius looked down. “Oh, my pants have holes too.”

Lyf maintained eye contact, or at least tried to.

“Then give me the phone so I can answer it, and when you all land for the concert and a few days of mayhem I can purchase myself a new phone that work can’t override.”

“Ah. Yes.” Marius tried to hold out Lyf’s phone before realizing that Lyfrassir had gotten very close in order to snap their fingers in his face, and ended up with his hand right on Lyf’s chest. He quickly snatched his hand back, and ended up frantically juggling the phone before catching it right before it landed on Anarchy.

“Von Raum, be _careful_!”

Marius found himself very gingerly holding the phone out to Lyfrassir, who snatched it and finally answered it, silencing the phone’s cries.

“Hello, Miller. No, I’m fine. What are you calling about that made you go for the emergency overrides? ... You thought I had been replaced with a doppelgänger? That’s not a crime that I think the Mechanisms have actually committed or are able to commit. Yes, I’m free to go over the concert plans with you, just...- give me a minute, let me get my tablet, Von Raum has made a mess of the living room—”

Marius realized that standing around and watching Lyf work was probably creepy when Anarchy slapped him with a tentacle after he had watched Lyf chewing on the end of a tablet pen. He carefully snuck out, closing the door on Anarchy, to go get new clothing.

Maybe he’d dig one of the blindingly patterned shirts and vests from his closet and purposefully mismatch them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .. also feel free to yell @ me if you notice any errors i am my own beta reader mostly because midnight me thinks "oh yes this is fine ;) let's post"


	9. Chapter 9

“Edda. Now that the mandolin player has left. This is all... really the plan you want to submit?” Lyf scrubbed a hand over his face. Miller had spent all of the time that Marius hung around tossing him worried glances, and keeping an eye on his movement, flinching slightly whenever he moved. All Marius had actually done was watch him with a vaguely glazed expression on his face, so Lyf wasn’t really sure where the worry was coming from. Besides, the worst thing he’d done on the list of crimes didn’t actually involve murder, unlike Alexandria, who had killed a man who broke a book’s spine in front of her.

“Look,” Lyf tapped their pen on the tablet in front of them, bringing up the space powerpoint, “it’s a plan that I think has the capability to limit destruction to a minimum. People have already been warned about the Mechanisms on planet, yes?” Miller nodded. “Right, so trying to prevent them from doing something they want to do is rather like trying to reason with a runaway train, and we should just try to limit the bystanders.” Their boss winced. “I’m allowed to make jokes about it, it happened to my star system.”

“You’re... safe?” Miller looked around like she’d be able to see if one of the Mechanisms was secretly holding a gun on them. “On their ship? I know you’ve said they’re not the most stable...” Lyf shrugged.

“As safe as I could be on this ship. It’s not like they spend all of their time on a murderous version of hide-and-seek,” as far as he knew, “and I’m trying to not annoy anyone.” Anarchy started climbing up their leg, and Lyf reached down to pet her. “In any case, I understand that it’s a strain, but I’d rather they confine their wanderings as much as possible.”

“Even so, finding enough people that want to place their livelihoods at risk to bring in their clothing lines and a mix of foods and drinks is going to be hard.” Lyf pulls up another spreadsheet and fiddles with a few numbers.

“Well, I don’t want to break your budget, so tell them that when these assholes do pay they pay in gold bars. I’ll see if I can figure out the best way to convince them to actually pay.” Lyf chewed on their lip. “The quartermaster, O’Reilly, keeps on suggesting that the drummer may be one of the more moral people on crew? I’ll follow up with him.”

“Don’t do anything that would put yourself in danger, Edda.” Their boss looks pale. “And let me know if you want to tap out on this job. Send me the updated spreadsheets with probabilities as the situation continues.” 

“Wait,” Lyf frowns at his phone screen, “now you say I can tap out of this job? It’s too late for that. They’ve all accepted me in the position, how would you even get someone else to take over? For one thing, they at least knew me. I don’t know how they’d treat someone random you just drop in.

“They had a whole bet that required keeping me alive for a while, and that’s over now, but I feel like... unless I provoke them, they probably won’t shoot me for no reason. I don’t think you can say that for anyone else.” Their boss has been getting paler and looking more worried through this whole conversation.

She’d had the dossier on the Mechanisms the whole time, it wasn’t Lyf’s fault that she apparently hadn’t taken any of it seriously. Had she told them to do this job without bothering with reading it?

Or had she just believed that after the Mechanisms had landed and by then Lyf had already been in the ship?

“I just don’t like- a number of things about how you’ve been acting since they arrived, Edda. It’s like you’ve had a whole shift in personality. You would never have brushed off my concerns like before. And how long you were out of contact is also worrying, Edda. Why didn’t you have your phone?”

“Because I left it on the ship? I don’t actually have to have my phone on me at all times of the day. I know it’s my work phone, but I was off liaising with one of the band members. It made a high-vis vest for a ... cat.”

“It.”

“One of the band members is a wooden Toy Soldier.” Maybe they should mention it followed orders, that was information his boss would definitely be interested in- but it wasn’t right. She might want information or services the Toy Soldier should supply but that didn’t make it right. 

Also, he was getting somewhat annoyed at the fact that she was acting like it was a whole personality shift when this was just what they were  _ like _ in situations like this, she’d just only seen them in a boring bureaucratic job. He should’ve just gone into Space YouTube and been a conspiracy theorist instead of getting a job. Made a living letting doctors take his blood and bone marrow occasionally while they slowly had a breakdown for all to see.

“It was carving wooden teeth and was happy to take a break to make a high-vis vest for a cat that has taken a liking to me. And I happen to quite like her and wanted to make sure she wouldn’t get shot.” Their boss groaned.

“What the fuck, Edda.”

“She’s a good cat, Miller.” Anarchy purred in his lap, vibrating the table. They reached out to steady their phone. “Sorry, that’s her purring.”

“Well. I’m. Glad you finally found a pet after all these years.” Lyf suppressed a grimace. If they were never reminded of the official recommendation in their file to get a pet of some sort it would be too soon. They reminded themself to not start ignoring Anarchy in some sort of oppositional defiance that would only hurt them and their cat.

Anarchy rolled up onto the table and looked into the phone.

“Edda,  _ what the fuck is that _ .” Lyf scooped up Anarchy and cuddled her close. She wrapped her tentacles around him and continued purring. It was very comforting. “Do I need to - yell for help? Edda, are you being strangled right now? Shit are those all over the ship?”

“This is Anarchy and she’s my cat now.” They glared at Miller. “Don’t judge her. She’s very loving and cuddly.”

“Edda that looks like a horrifying squamous creature, put it down and back away and come back home. Being on that ship cannot be doing good things for you.”

“I would know what a horrifying squamous creature looks like, Miller. This isn’t one. I’m going to go talk to someone and see if there’s a good way of getting the Mechanisms to cause the least murder possible.” Lyf stabs the end call button and then removes the Space SIM card. Fuck his boss.

Oh no. They’d only been on this ship for a day and they were already falling into a similar mindset as the rest of the Mechanisms. What was next? Quitting his job? Actually becoming a Space YouTuber?

Actually they’d sort of been thinking about that for a while but never seriously, and they  _ definitely _ weren’t going to quit their job because of the Mechanisms. That would be ridiculous. They tucked the Space SIM card into their tiniest vest pocket and went to find Brian. It was time for a conversation that may be somewhat enlightening and would probably be mostly much more embarrassing.

Why was their phone buzzing. They had taken out the Space SIM card. When the fuck had a new message come in and how? They opened their phone and looked at a new icon of a new app.

_ Lyfrassir Edda has joined the chat! _

**Girlfriend Material:**

Taking bets on how long it takes them to notice 

**Aurora’s Greatest Love Machine:**

Less than an hour but more than a minute

**yuor devil:**

never because i will shoot their phone first >:)

**Assigned Boring By Vote:**

Aurora why did you add Lyfrassir to the chat without telling them

**Girlfriend Material:**

fuck the cops c’mon brian 

also i just forgot until now :\ i was busy

**pining idiot snegl:**

you change my name. you invite lyf into this chat. what have i done to you recently aurora.

**Girlfriend Material:**

you protected their annoying, annoying phone bastard

**Eføy:**

oh now I should think of a new name.

Wait actually Lyf hasn’t gone online so maybe not

**Arson O’Insurance:**

why is there a trail of wooden teeth in the hallways @A friend!

**A friend!:**

It’s A Surprise Tool That Will Help Us Later!

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

What the fuck is this.

**Arson O’Insurance:**

Strong start there I like it

Continue

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

No I think I will not

_ Lyfrassir Edda has gone offline! _

Lyf tucked their phone back into a pocket on silent. They were not equipped to handle whatever that was. Not in any way, shape, or form. But they were equipped to remember where the pilot’s room was and hope that the Drumbot was there. Anarchy draped around his shoulders with a comforting weight, Lyfrassir went off into the depths of the ship in an attempt to locate Drumbot Brian. Maybe they could finally get some answers on what an “MJE” was and why he was on it. He looked like a robot, so it was presumably not drugs.

What if there were robot drugs? Drugs for robots? Wouldn’t that just be programming, though? Why would someone program robot drugs? Was this a secret space crime ring that Lyf could crack wide open as some sort of weird vigilante who was just in it to get answers about why they’re doing it? How many robots were out there that running robot drugs could be profitable? How did they make it so that these programs wouldn’t just be executable over and over?

Anarchy slapped Lyf on the face with a tentacle and they realized that they had gotten slightly lost in the corridors while contemplating robot drugs. Fuck. They knocked on the wall.

“Aurora? Sorry, I’ve gotten slightly lost- could you give me a pointer to where Drumbot Brian is?” A screen descended from the ceiling.

**Thank you for being so polite. I will tell you if you promise to actually check the group chat if I start pinging you multiple times. And I will promise not to abuse this power.** Lyf squinted suspiciously at the screen.

“This is the only way I’m going to find Drumbot Brian, isn’t it.” The screen moved up and down in a nod. “... Fine. I will turn on vibration notifications. Is that good enough for you?”

**I suppose. Do it now and I will take you there.** Lyf fiddling with their phone notification settings appropriately.  **Alright. Follow me, Brian isn’t actually in the piloting room. He’s doing some routine maintenance.** Was it weird when a ship could tell you about maintenance that needed doing on itself? Or herself, in this case? Actually it was probably pretty helpful.

Anarchy climbed up onto Lyf’s head, making herself the tallest of all people on the Aurora. She leaned forward and tried to latch onto the screen, but Lyf grabbed her tentacles and moved them back onto his head.

“Don’t do that, Anarchy. Aurora is nice and probably doesn’t want you trying to bite her screens.”

**Octokittens have broken many of my screens. I am used to it. But thank you for preventing the breakage of this one. It would make guiding you more difficult.**

“Well, perhaps I will see about getting some toys for the octokittens so that you can chuck them at them next time they attempt to eat one of your screens. Distraction and also enrichment. Do the octokittens get any enrichment besides wandering around eating things and getting shot at by the Mechanisms?”

**I do not believe they do. Well, sometimes when their presence doesn’t glitch out the cameras, I do see the stowaways playing with them.**

“Once again. I do not know who the stowaways are. I know almost nothing about what goes on on this ship. But I’m glad someone is playing with the octokittens.”

**They mostly play with the Mechanisms by attempting to eat them or otherwise inconvenience them. I believe one currently has a taste for Marius and has mutated a bit and now craves his blood.**

“That’s... concerning? I know he’s immortal and all, but that seems fairly painful.”

**Oh, it is! I’m interested in seeing how this plays out.** Right. Lyf needed to stop thinking he had a handle on what went on on this ship. It just kept on getting weirder. They were never going to truly comprehend the level of fucked-up shit that went on inside the Aurora. Maybe only the Aurora truly comprehended it.

The rest of the trip to wherever it was the Drumbot was passed in relative silence, with only Anarchy’s occasional murps and meows making noise as she reached out to various pieces of debris in the corridors. Lyf thought about asking Aurora why she didn’t have vacuums, but thought that that might be considered rude. What was rude when you were talking to a sentient ship anyways? They stopped that train of thought before it went to the same place as robot drugs.

**We’re here! Brian’s just finishing up, have a nice conversation. I need to go berate Ashes for trying to get into the kitchen.**

Lyf realized they had no idea how long they had been on this ship. Should they be hungry? Or thirsty? Or tired? They weren’t really sure. It’s not like anyone on the ship had checked in on them to see if they needed anything besides Marius in the medbay. Who knew. Lyf knocked on the door.

“Come in!”

“Drumbot Brian? I just wanted to learn, well, anything-- I can come back later? Sorry!” Lyf shut the door again. Brian had had his whole chest open, full of mechanical ticking gears and wires like some sort of museum piece that had been polished and maintained for centuries, and at the center had been a beating heart.

Routine maintenance, huh. Maybe Lyf shouldn’t have assumed that the Aurora meant the maintenance was on her.

“It’s fine! I’m just finishing up. Actually, if you don’t mind, I could use a hand while I hook this one gear back in...” His voice was muffled by the door, but Brian did sound sincere. Lyf gingerly opened the door again. Brian was in the same pose. With more than a second of embarrassed glance, Lyf could see that Brian had a whole toolset out, and a few gears and wires that looked like they should be part of Brian were scattered around.

“I don’t... I’ve maintained the Holt, but you’ll have to tell me what to do.” Brian smiled at him.

“You’re already going to do better than my usual helpers just because you weren’t the one that actually caused the damage. Here, if you could just hold  _ these _ wires back while I get the gears back in-” Lyf gingerly inserted his hand where shown and tugged the wires out of the way- “yes, like that.” Brian sighed. “Normally I’d let something this small heal on its own, but... I don’t like to have to compensate for injuries while playing a concert.” Lyf looked up in confusion.

“Sorry, you heal?” Brian’s laugh cut off when the gears started to move near Lyf’s hands.

“Yes. We all do. I realize it’s strange to think of a mechanical object healing, but I would, after enough time. At least the others try to keep damage to a minimum when we’re giving concerts.” Brian removed gears and replaced them with new, or at least with repaired replacements, Lyf wasn’t quite sure, and threaded wires back into place.

“So what did you come to ask?” Brian moved Lyf’s hands into a new position.

“Ah. There’s a bit of concern with balancing warning people who don’t want to be near the chaos that’s going to be caused and still having people who are there with items that O’Reilly indicated you all would like. Especially since they noted you all don’t necessarily pay.”

“Ah. Well. I’ll talk to Ashes. They definitely have enough gold bars lying around that we could all bring a few and they wouldn’t notice.” Lyf sighed in relief.

“Alright. I’ll let her know. That should help ensure that there’s actually a decent variety of people still around and willing to sell.” Lyf helped insert a gear. “Actually, last I heard independent sellers had the mindset of, well, they’ll take the chance, so there should be a lot of eclectic things.”

“I hope they’re ready for the Toy Soldier to bargain with wooden teeth.”

“I’m not sure I can really prepare anyone for that.”

“Hm. Well, we’ve all got our particular bargaining methods, so maybe just... try to prepare them for that.”

Lyf and Brian stopped talking as they got to a particularly delicate section at the shoulder joint. It was kind of meditative, helping Brian. Anarchy wandered around the room, picking things up and setting them down. Lyf was pretty sure that he saw her eat a whole screwdriver and then spit it back out, looking disgusted. Brian snorted.

“I coat my tools with  denatonium benzoate. Never thought it would be an octokitten I was repelling, but if it works. ”

“Who or what else would be eating your tools?” Brian shrugged and started closing his chest back up. Lyf helped with some of the screws. “I mean, octokittens, sure. And Aurora keeps on mentioning that you have stowaways? On your pirate ship? But I can’t imagine they’d actually... eat tools?”

“Oh! The stowaways are just. Weird. We don’t know how they started. If you see them they might actually recognize you since they’re the first people we performed the new album for. Well. If you say your name. They’ll probably want to hear more of your story.” Brian frowned. “Maybe don’t go down there unless you’re feeling able to deal with a semi-eldritch hivemind.” Lyf wasn’t going to ask.

“Moving on... I was just hoping for tips on how to prevent mayhem outside a certain radius.” The chest plates were finally fully screwed down. Lyf noticed a switch by Brian’s neck. Hm. Okay, he was a former Inspector, he could piece together Means Justify Ends as being MJE, and there was another setting, that was Ends Justify Means. EJM, probably. Who knew what any of that meant, now, but it was a start and maybe they wouldn’t have to actually ask.

“I’m not sure I can actually help that much with keeping my friends out of mischief, much less mayhem, Lyfrassir.” Lyf sat back in their chair and sighed.

“My boss is having a minor meltdown over the plan I submitted. I was sort of hoping you might have some suggestions.” Lyf frowned. “Or explanations.” Brian picked up a set of drumsticks and started assembling a drum kit.

“I’m afraid not. There’s no explanations for a lot of what we do, Lyfrassir. Or at least not explanations that we would be willing to share, you understand. Being immortal gets boring, and I may have my morals right now, but I’m surprised it’s remained that way for quite so long.”

“Erm. What does that- if it’s not too personal of a question- what does that  _ mean? _ O’Reilly said something about you being on ‘MJE’, and I can piece together that that probably has something to do with the dial on your neck, but I don’t understand anything about it.” Lyfrassir sighed. “And they only mentioned it in passing when we were coming back from the makeup store. Then they just kept on talking and I could not find the moment to ask them to explain it.”

Brian looked- hm. Lyf didn’t want to call that expression robotic, but he had definitely locked down his facial expressions and wasn’t making any expression right now. Statuesque? That was probably a better phrasing. Lyf picked up Anarchy.

“Sorry!” Lyf waved one arm around trying to come up with properly apologetic gestures. “Like I said, you don’t have to answer, I just- tend to dig.”

“Isn’t that what got you assigned to the Black Box in the first place?” Ouch.

“Well. Yes.” Lyf curled around Anarchy. “It’s not like anyone else wanted to touch the case. I just wanted to know. So it came down to me.” Brian was tapping the drumsticks on the table in a meditative pattern.

“Well. We’ve all got some secrets, and I can’t recommend digging. Jonny might shoot you.” Brian paused and looked thoughtful for a moment. “Actually, anyone might shoot you. The long and short of it is that a long time ago a lot of fucked up shit happened and this switch got added to me. On MJE I have something approximating my morals before the event, and on EJM I don’t.”

Oh god this is so awkward. Lyf is just legs up curled in this chair with Anarchy purring. He didn’t have to answer. Lyf would’ve accepted a no, I don’t want to talk about it. What were they supposed to do now? Was this when they were supposed to offer up some of their own trauma? They really didn’t want to do that. Tit for tat, though.

“When Odin... When I was escaping from the Yggdrasil system- I don’t know what you know- but. She was in my dreams. She kept on watching me, and she got farther away the farther I got, and she was so  _ angry _ about it. I almost stopped sleeping, for a while.” Lyf isn’t looking at Brian. Anarchy won’t judge them. Although they might judge her for being in the middle of growing two new eyes. “She stopped, finally. When I woke up in the hospital. I don’t like remembering what she talked to me about. Which is a very roundabout way of saying that I get it. You really could’ve just told me to fuck off and I would’ve left.” Lyf scooted off the chair, and quietly left the room as Brian began to practice.

Maybe they should just go take a nap. It might be- they checked their phone- oh, actually, it was very early in the morning. They should take a full night’s rest. And get something to eat. Hopefully later in the morning Brian would agree to pretend that none of that had ever happened. Maybe they could even get on planet tomorrow. The passage of time was fake, and Lyfrassir Edda was not happy with how quickly it was going.

Once they finally made it back to their ship, they replicated a quick meal, washed off the more obvious goop on Anarchy’s tentacle-paws, and collapsed into bed. Later In The Morning Lyfrassir Edda could handle showering and talking to people. Right Now Lyfrassir Edda just felt suddenly exhausted and ready to pass out.

Anarchy was happy to snuggle up with them and oblige.

They shouldn’t have talked about Odin. She was there, that night, standing in the distance and smiling, just as she had smiled into camera for the Black Box. Lyfrassir  _ knew _ that she shouldn’t be looking just as she did in the corrupted footage of the launching speech, there was no way after decades of being a squamous thing that she should be here, radiant and glowing. They couldn't drag their gaze away but at the edges of their vision they saw the squamous things that had chased after them, snapping at their heels, keeping them awakeawakeawake for days before they had finally passed out, exhausted, waking convinced that they had finally been caught. Odin steps closer.

“Lyfrassir." Her hands spread in benediction. "I’m so glad you’re finally starting to accept your role.” They look at her in horror. They haven’t accepted anything.

They’re melting into the Bifrost at their feet. They can’t move, legs struggling against the taffy-like consistency of the ground as she starts to approach. Getawaygetawaygetawaygetaway why is she getting closer, _get away-_ she pauses.

“Come here, Lyfrassir." She offers a hand to draw them to their feet. "Come back to us.” She smiles, and the smile goes on forever, reaching into the sky and twisting it rainbow as the ground.

“I won’t. I won’t come back.” Odin frowns, and begins to reach out as he desperately begins to shuffle backward, pulling through the Bifrost. He doesn’t want her to touch them that would be bad that would be bad they don’t know how but they know it would be bad. “Leave me alone. I thought you had left me alone! Do it again!  _ Leave me alone! _ ”

They wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f for lyf capitalism just keeps on following them around


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marius finally manages to actually have the compulsion talk after avoiding it by doing everything else possible first, he is not avoidant, he's a psychologist he would know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There has been a very gentle scooch to a Mature rating, as there are now makeouts and similar. It only took about 38k words.

Marius was napping outside the door with a tray of breakfast foods that he was vaguely hoping Lyfrassir would enjoy. Who didn’t enjoy bacon and eggs? Hopefully the plate would keep them warm and the bacon crispy for them. Cold eggs were a special abomination. And he was being polite and waiting outside the door for signs of life!

Less polite was probably his outfit. He had found a horrible blue shirt with red and yellow squiggles and even some blue wiggles in darker and lighter shades. He was very proud of it. Over it was a blindingly white vest- made of something fancy, since he had found it on the floor of his closet and it was still white- with big blue brush strokes and small purple ones inside it. Then he had a jacket that he planned to wear with it. It was orange and pink and yellow and purple triangles all sewn together. The pants were just neon green. Jonny had taken one look at him and said “I don’t want to see your mating display, Marius, get out of my sight.” The boot belts had stayed on, of course. They just went over some lovely leather boots with a floral pattern embroidered in softer and darker reds and blues and golds.

So now he just had to wait for Lyfrassir to actually wake up. It was about noon ship time, and he was still sitting here with a plate of breakfast food. To be fair he had only gotten here two hours ago, but still. Maybe he should’ve gotten the Aurora to tell him when Lyfrassir woke up and _then_ made breakfast.

Maybe he should just leave this food to the octokittens and go get more. Marius lifted the cover on the tray. It still looked pretty appetizing, but he probably had lower standards than Lyfrassir, so ... Marius frowned. Lyf would probably want to be awake when the Aurora landed on the next planet, and he still had to talk to him about the compulsion thing, so maybe he should go wake him up?

Marius stood up and carefully opened the door to the Holt just in case Lyf was actually very quiet and awake in there. Then he leaned down and grabbed the tray. Hopefully his arm would regrow soon, and hopefully Raphaella wouldn’t need more flesh for the octokitten for a while. She’d have to get by with a leg next time otherwise, since he kind of needed both his arms working to play any of his instruments.

The lights were out. Marius wished he could see in the dark before bumping into the table. He placed the tray onto it and went looking for the light switch. It had to be around... somewhere accessible despite the crates.

There was rainbow light coming from under a door.

“Lyfrassir? Is everything, uh, okay in there?”

There wasn’t an answer. The rainbow light was getting more intense. He knocked gently on the door.

“Lyfrassir?”

He heard a whimper and the high cry of an octokitten in distress and made the executive decision to throw open the door and damn the consequences. Anarchy was standing over Lyfrassir, back arched, tentacles flailing, meowing in distress and probably trying to wake up Lyf. The rainbow lights were emanating from Lyf, from every pore of skin and strand of hair, painting them in a technicolor nightmare.

Marius felt his flesh arm grow back into place, snapping out bone and tendons and ligaments and blood vessels and muscle and other miscellaneous flesh in some sort of weird defence mechanism against what was before him. He carefully reached out with this fresh hand and shook Lyf’s shoulder.

“Lyfrassir? Inspector Edda?” They curled into a ball and the light got sharper, stabbing Marius in the eyes, making him wince and close them against the blood. “Lyfrassir, you need to wake up!” 

They weren’t waking up. It was time for the big guns. Marius pulled out his violin and began to sing.

“Like whiskey laced with gasoline, we’re deadly when we’re dru-”

“ _Von Raum, shut up!_ ” Like a hand clasped around his throat and over his mouth, Marius felt the words choke off into nothingness. Lyfrassir was upright now, and Anarchy was crying while clinging to their chest, Marius was pretty sure. It was hard to see through his still bloody eyes. “Oh no. Did I- Marius, did I do that?” Marius was pretty sure his eyes were almost healed. They still twinged a bit. He tried speaking, experimentally.

“Well, I think,” score if he was asked a question by Lyf he could talk, “that technically the Bifrost did it, and besides, I’m healing! I don’t have, uh, permanent eye damage or anything.” Marius scrubbed at the blood around his eyes and tried opening them. “Yeah, I’m fine!”

“If you’re fine, why are you squinting at me.”

“I’m, uh, trying to preserve your privacy? I didn’t see if you were wearing anything what with all the light. I’m being polite.” That didn’t sound convincing to Marius so there was no way it would sound convincing to Lyfrassir. “So I’m going to leave now I, uh, brought you breakfast! Although it’s technically lunch now, I guess.” Marius skedaddled out of the room before Lyf could ask any more probing questions and hoped that his eyes actually would have fully healed before they came back out. Maybe he should have worn his goggle. Eye protection actually could have done something, for once.

He jiggled his leg at the table and waited for Lyf, resisting the urge to get back up and check on him. Lyfrassir was a grown adult human who could call if they needed help with whatever weird leftovers there might be from the Bifrost, probably.

Actually looking at their medical information on the tablet that Ivy and Raphaella had supplied, Marius was kind of impressed with the weird genetic engineering that had been happening in the Yggdrasil system. Lyfrassir was a grown adult weird human/mantis shrimp hybrid with some other incredibly strange modifications, but since he chose to go around identifying as human Marius would respect that. Besides, some of that could just be what escaping an eldritch nightmare did to you. He did want to find out if he could get his own spine replaced since the human spine was really a hellscape. No, his arm would probably just revert it. Lame. Maybe Raphaella would make him a new mechanical spine? She already made herself one to attach the wings to, so that could work.

He heard sounds of life from within Lyfrassir’s room. Oh, good. His eyes were definitely healed since he could see Lyfrassir in the amazing 20/20 vision that having a Mechanism could grant you. He thought maybe Nastya wore her glasses for the aesthetic. They exited with a pile of sheets and a duvet in their arms, all of which were stained rainbow. Marius restrained himself from making the obvious joke and just watched Lyf drop them on the floor and move the crates around to reveal a washer and dryer set up. What the fuck. Why did the Yggdrasil system have such good spaceships when they never went outside their own system?

“Von Raum.” Lyf sat down at the table. They weren’t wearing a shirt. Marius was pretty sure that if anything made sense in life, he was probably flushing. “That outfit is an abomination against nature, and I should know. There’s no way you can possibly believe that outfit is in any way, shape, or form matching.” Marius grinned and put a hand to his chin, trying to maximize the mischievousness. If only he could do that cat face as well as Nastya. “Oh, Von Raum, no.” Lyf sounded despairing, now. “Did you put that together just to torture me? Because it’s working.”

“I did! I’m glad it’s working, Lyfrassir! I really don’t know what all you can see, but I thought that mixing a lot of colors was the best bet. Wait until you see the jacket that goes with it!” Lyf stifled a laugh. “I think you’ll really love it. Four more bright colors in little triangles all over the jacket.” Marius slid the tray over to Lyf. “In any case, this is why I was here! Let me know if the eggs are disgusting now. Nastya’s been trying to make trays that actually preserve the food, but her last attempt just froze everything in time. This still looked edible, but don’t force yourself.”

“No, I appreciate it.” Lyf lifted the tray lid and tried a bite. “It’s still very good. Surprisingly so, honestly, how is the bacon still crisp?” Marius shrugged. He didn’t understand it either, Nastya made it. “Well. Thank you for bringing it, Marius.” Marius! He rated a first name now! “And for waking me up.” Lyf leaned over the table and looked into Marius’ eyes. It was very intense, and Marius was _definitely_ flushed now. He was not prepared for the mortifying ordeal of being seen, and even more so it felt like Lyf was looking right into him and he _knew_ it was just the direct eye contact, but still. Were Lyf’s eyes always hazel? Marius could’ve sworn they were brown. He broke eye contact and looked down, and then realized that he was staring at Lyf’s chest, which was absolutely covered in rainbow residue and desperately directed his eyes to Lyf’s hairline. Oh, he had rainbow crusting in his hair, too. Lyf was just covered in rainbow residue. There was no good way to bring that up.

“Uhm. Can I? Help? With something else?” Lyf flushed and sat back down, picking up his fork again.

“Sorry. Just trying to figure out if I had injured your eyes. They look fine, though.” That was sweet! But Lyf definitely had more problems than Marius possibly did right now. He was hiding his flesh hand under the table while some weird rainbow patterns faded so that they wouldn’t feel guilty while they ate.

“Is that, uh, normal? For you? The... eldritch nightmares?” Lyf paused in the middle of bringing a bite of eggs to their mouth. “You’re, uh, looking like they’re not! Is there anything we can do to help?” Lyf put down their fork. “Nevermind! This can wait until after breakfast! Would you like me to find new sheets? Or, uh, do anything for you? And not to stress you out but I did need to have a talk with you about the eldritch thing a bit.” Anarchy glooped sadly onto the table and started eating Lyf’s food. Marius picked her up and off of it. He didn’t make that for her. “Oh, here, I’ll take Anarchy to Ivy, she knows how to figure out what octokittens need, and then I’ll bring her right back? If that’s good with you?”

“I... yes, that would probably be for the best. She probably does need some medical care. I’ll just... take a shower? I can get out some new sheets, as well... I should probably contact my boss now that it’s the next day... Yes, there’s plenty for me to do. Please take care of Anarchy.” Marius frowned. Lyf did not seem like someone that should be left alone right now, and despite how much the others liked to deride his very well forged psychologist’s degree, he wasn’t an idiot. But if Lyf didn’t want him there, that might cause more harm...

“If you want, I can call Ivy here. If you don’t want Anarchy to leave.” There. That gave him a very acceptable reason to stay behind..

“No, Von Raum.” Oh. He had been downgraded back to last name. Maybe he shouldn’t’ve pressed. “I’ll be fine. Anarchy needs care, and I don’t want to worry about whether or not Alexandria will check her phone. Just ask the Aurora where she is and bring Anarchy there. I could use some privacy.” He had definitely pushed a bit too hard. Or Lyf was just very sensitive after that nightmare, which Marius could understand! He held Anarchy closer and carefully pet her. She bit his finger.

“I’ll just get going then! I’ll be back as soon as possible.” He left while trying to get Anarchy to please let go of his finger. Maybe he should’ve gone for metal fingers instead of flesh fingers so that he could have one hand usable as an octokitten chew toy. But having the sensation was nice, and he hadn’t had to completely relearn how to replay stringed instruments like Brian apparently had, so maybe it was still for the best.

He started looking for Ivy. She was probably in her library, but could be in Raphaella’s lab, or the kitchen, or a practice room. Hm. He did not want to start with Raphaella’s lab, she would definitely notice the fading rainbow on his arm. Next time he had to wake up Lyf from a nightmare he’d use his metal arm so he could get that sweet anodizing effect. That would be great for the concert.

He found the Toy Soldier’s trail of wooden teeth and carefully stepped over them to enter the library. He did not know what game it was playing, but he didn’t want to get killed because he messed up the trail. Whatever the tool was, it would not be something he had touched.

“Ivy? You in here? I’ve got an octokitten for you to look at! It’s Lyfrassir’s and it’s a bit banged up from an eldritch nightmare!” Whoops. Maybe Lyf wouldn’t want him bandying that knowledge around. But on the other hand, on a ship of immortal space pirates, he’d probably have to get used to everyone knowing everyone else’s business. “Anarchy is very cute and probably doesn’t need a lot of help! Ivy?” Maybe she wasn’t - ouch. Book to the head.

“It’s a library, Marius, how many times have I told you?”

“Couple thousand.”

“Three thousand four hundred twenty-seven, to be exact. What’s got you worried over an octokitten?” Marius held out Anarchy.

“It’s Lyfrassir’s octokitten.”

“Of course.” Ivy held out her hands, and Marius carefully deposited Anarchy into them. Anarchy did not let go of his finger. Ivy pinched her neck and Anarchy’s mouth gaped open and Marius quickly removed his hand.

“Thanks, Ivy! Anything I can do to help with, uh, all of that?”

“Anything you do would merely result in Anarchy attempting to use your hand as a chew toy again, Marius. Let me work. She won’t need stitches but I will need to find my octokitten glue. Before you ask, it is glue for octokittens, and it is made out of them.” Marius closed his mouth. “Give me a few hours and she should be good as new. Although you might wish to find the Toy Soldier to repair her vest.” Ivy looked Marius up and down. “Now please take your mating display out of my sight.” Marius scurried out of the library.

So now he had to figure out how to occupy himself for a bit so that Lyf wouldn’t just tell him to get out the moment he entered the ship. Although that was an idea, he should prepare so that he could have the conversation with Lyf even if they ordered him to get out. Handcuffs, perhaps. He could borrow some from Nastya-- he could borrow some from. Hm. Maybe he should figure out if he still had the handcuffs from his arrest on New Midgard. Sentimental value! Lyfrassir might appreciate that. And as he was digging in his closet, his phone started to ping.

**hottest one here:**

hey we’re all landing in just a few hours. @everyone please remember to take your disembarking gift baggies with you. the toy soldier did not spend all that time making and gilding teeth for you to carelessly leave them behind.

also i think it will be funny to try to pay people with them so get on it

**check out these guns:**

Did you include guns in the disembarking bags y/n

**hottest one here:**

y ofc but in a fun new game i’m making us ration bullets because someone @check out these guns @check out these guns @check out these guns kept on shooting at random fucking asteroids and now i have to restock us

bastard

 **Girlfriend Material:**  
Ashes, do you need me to re-print my list of requests? Nastya also has one :) She also has a bag of gold bars and some of the teeth.

**raphaella the cognizi:**

ashes how many dangerous chemicals am i allowed to bring on board. Ten? Thirty? One hundred?

**hottest one here:**

I do not give a Singular Shit. Talk to the Aurora in dms or something.

**pining idiot snegl:**

Who changed my name back to this

): why didn’t you let Von Raumk N Roll have its time in the sun

**First Mate:**

Because it sucked?

WHO DID THIS

_Girlfriend Material has Muted First Mate for 1 hour(s)!_

**Girlfriend Material:**

None of that right now.

@Lyfrassir Edda answer your pings did you actually listen to the album or should I send you the lyrics so you can get any murderous impulses out early?

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

No the only thing I know is you all are letting _D’Ville_ play me. What do we have in common except for height. Is that how you view me.

**hottest one here:**

U do both be kinda short tho

**Girlfriend Material:**

I will send you the lyrics. The basics are that the singing parts are Raphaella as Odin, Tim as Loki, Marius as Thot, Ashes as Sigyn... Yeah, that’s it. I mean Jonny also sings but not as you. Just being eldritch and doing an invocation. Which is why he’s voicing you, invocations are his speciality. 

**nyastya uwu:**

Thot

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

Thot

**raphaella the cognizi:**

thot

**check out these guns:**

thot

_hottest one here changed pining idiot snegl’s name to Thot_

**Thot:**

Even you, Lyfrassir? Et tu, Brute?

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

I do not know what that means. Unlike some people I don’t have a universal translator. Anyways I am busy trying to tell my boss that she doesn’t need to worry if people start getting handed _gilded teeth_ so if there’s nothing else I’m going back to that.

**Girlfriend Material:**

Tell her i can hear her yelling from outside your ship and she’s being very rude to you

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

No I do not think I will tell her that I am on a sentient starship but thank you for telling me I will figure out a way to make it sound like one of the mechanisms said it.

_Lyfrassir Edda had gone offline_

**nyastya uwu:**

Poll I get to beat up lyf’s boss because of the Implications of what he just said

The only person whose vote can be a no is the auroras 

**Girlfriend Material:**

No im all for it babe :)

**Thot:**

can i come i want to beat her up also she kept on looking at me funny.

To be fair i was eavesdropping but like all she had to do was tell me to get out so

Wait does Lyf know how to backread

**Girlfriend Material:**

Tbh I don’t know. Maybe? Nastya and I will include your assistance in the planning though. 

Rude. Maybe he wanted to assist immediately. At least he found the handcuffs while he was reading chat. He’d swing by Ashes, pick up his disembark bag and see if there was one for Lyf, and then go have the probably horribly awkward chat about Lyf maybe definitely having compulsion powers!

If he kept on putting it off Raph would definitely kill him and do it herself and she would not be nice and that just felt very important. Lyfrassir was already under a lot of stress, it sounded like. Their boss had been reaming them for not responding, and sounded very concerned about Lyf’s location despite being the one who appointed them, and Lyf was also a bit stuck on a ship with all of the Mechanisms while having eldritch nightmares and Marius could admit that was maybe not the best circumstance. He loved his friends but their morals were definitely a bit skewed.

A lot skewed.

To be fair, so were his! That’s just how it was when you were immortal. He thinks he remembers when he cared more about death and destruction and the livelihood of people and all of that, but it was so long ago that now it’s like a dim shadow on a dark wall that he can barely make out. He thinks that he used to care, when people died in front of him. He’s pretty sure that he got pretty upset for the first few decades as a Mechanism, learning how to fit in and make sense of it all, adapting to their sense of morality. Brian was probably the closest of them to having his pre-mechanization morals, and he didn’t do a lot to stop them from murdering and pillaging their way through planets.

Lyfrassir would probably want to leave the ship, after whatever they did to this planet. That was fair. Maybe in a few more centuries, if he didn’t get injured and killed, Marius would be able to find a version of him that had shaped themself into morals that would work with the crew, and pursue something with them then. On the other hand, Lyfrassir could get injured and die, probably, or he would’ve mentioned otherwise. So maybe Marius shouldn’t wait that long to actually work something out.

The Toy Soldier walked past Marius with a bag that rattled, carefully laying down another trail of wooden teeth.

“Having fun, TS?”

“Oh Yes! It’s All Jolly Good! I’m Very Excited For This Little Game To Play Out! Please Don’t Touch The Teeth!” Marius carefully stepped over the teeth. “Thank You, Marius!”

“Of course, of course. Do you know where Ashes is? I was hoping to pick up my disembarking baggy.”

“Oh Yes! Ashes Is In The Kitchen! They Have Promised Not To Touch The Cookware, But Aurora Has A Gatling Gun Ready! Just In Case! So Be Careful!”

“I will be, thanks TS.” Marius stepped over a few more lines of teeth and headed towards the kitchen. Hopefully Ashes would still be there, and have some undamaged disembarking baggies, and also be alive enough to tell him if he was getting a specific one. But you never really knew, with Ashes in the kitchen.

Ashes was not still alive when he entered the kitchen, but the disembarking bags were labelled with names, so that was fine. Ashes had even made one up for Lyfrassir, which was very considerate, and also meant that maybe if Marius could get Lyfrassir to stick around when they left the system Ashes would be prepared for that. They had simple and direct methods of communication that anyone could read, not just a psychologist. Marius was tempted to look into Lyf’s disembarking bag, but that could be cheating. You never knew when Ashes would set up some fun and chaotic game for the rest of the team. It had been a _decent_ amount of time since he’d left Lyfrassir, so it was probably okay to check up on him again.

Also he was running out of time to actually talk to him about compulsion and he _really_ needed to get that done now, jesus, he only had an hour or so left for that. Where did the time go? He had so much of it in the long run but in the short run it just slid right through his fingers. Lyf’s ship was quiet from the outside. The Aurora dropped a screen down.

 **They’ve been showering for about an hour so you might want to check on them and make sure that their shower hasn’t somehow become eldritch. FYI.** Marius made a face. It would’ve been nice to know that sooner. Still, he slipped past the screen and into the Holt, and gently knocked on the bathroom door.

“Lyfrassir? You in there?” Marius realized that he should probably implement the backup plan in case Lyf told him to go away. He took out the handcuffs, and handcuffed himself to the table, since it was part of the floor.Hopefully it would take long enough for him to get out of the handcuffs that he could babble out the rest of his explanation and then maybe Lyf would tell him he could stay.

That would be nice.

There was no answer from the bathroom but the continued fall of water.

“Lyf?” The water shut off, and Marius heard mumbled curses from inside the bathroom. So they were alive! That was good.

The door opened and Former Inspector Lyfrassir Edda stood there. Marius hadn’t really realized the difference in how Lyfrassir had been carrying themself, in this star system, but now it was much clearer. Before their nightmare that morning they had been calmer, looser, more relaxed and easy in their movements. After their nightmare, they’d been almost hunched, and fidgeting anxiously, nervously looking around. Now Lyf had composed themself, and stood again with shoulders squared and straight-backed, looking ready to face whatever Marius was about to tell them. Competent, and ready, and much less tired than they had been the last time Marius had seen them like that.

They’d looked like that back then too- Marius had seen Lyf hiding exhaustion and worry beneath a shell of duty and a thin veneer of exasperation at him and Ivy and Raphaella. They had all known what Lyfrassir had been assigned, hard not to feel the oppressive influence of the Black Box when you’re already so attuned to stories, but they had borne up under it beautifully.

It all almost made Marius ignore the fact that Lyf had exited the bathroom in boxers and no top and that was the most skin he had ever seen them baring when they weren’t panicked and their collarbones were _right there_ and oh christ he wanted to bite them.

“Von Raum. Why did you handcuff yourself to my table.”

“I. Uh. That’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about?”

“If you’re here to tell me that you were only in prison as part of a decades-long BDSM scenario I _really_ don’t want to hear it.”

“What! No! I wasn’t- we really did just decide it was a nice break and a fun time bothering cops!” Marius waved his free hand in frantic denial. Sure maybe it would be hot if Lyf would break out the handcuffs- no, back on track.

“Then why are you flushing, Von Raum?” Lyf raised an eyebrow. It was an impeccable eyebrow raise. “You’re doing it more.” Marius put his palm on his cheek before remembering it was, in fact, his metal palm, and moving so that his fingers were actually touching his cheeks. Fuck. Yup. His cheek was warm.

“To be fair the blush response is not a voluntary one, so-- why is your mind in the gutter, huh? Maybe I’m just embarrassed at the implications.” Marius discreetly shifted to place the table between his whole self and Lyf’s eyes. “And that’s! That’s not what I was going to talk about I just. Wanted to talk about the fact that I think I found another eldritch side effect for you and wanted to make sure I could actually finish my sentence.”

“Spit it out, then!” Marius could tell that Lyf really did want him to continue because he felt a tickle in the back of his throat that he hadn’t realized he had felt the first time and the words spilled out. It was almost a relief.

“That’s the second time you’ve compelled me to say something that I wasn’t actually intending to say especially this way wow I can sort of-” Marius winced. The digression had probably caused that sharp spike of pain behind his eyes. “Nevermind. I think you’ve got compelling powers as evidenced by the fact that also have you ever known me to leave a place without getting the last word?” Lyfrassir paled, and his hand moved up to cover his own mouth, and he looked absolutely horrified, eyes darting back and forth and starting to hyperventilate.

“I-- I don’t-- Marius, I’m _sorry_ , I didn’t-” their voice choked off.

“Oh! No, I don’t- It’s pretty clear you don’t know! I don’t mind!” Marius realized he was laughing a bit hysterically. “Sorry. I, uh, really don’t mind though. I just thought you’d like to figure out how to not do it. And, well, probably be careful how you phrase things to anyone else? It’s not my place to say but pretty much no one except me and Raph would be as, uh, blasé about this.”

Lyf slid down the wall and started rubbing their head. Marius decided to shift position so that his legs were crossed.

“Lyfrassir? I’m sorry I dumped that on you, I just... there’s no good way to say it. Raph and I workshopped it for maybe an hour before agreeing on that. Do you want me to text Brian to bring you Anarchy?”

“No- no, I. Would rather not see more people right now.” Lyf let out a deep breath for- longer than Marius really thought they could’ve been holding air in their lungs. “You can stay. What were you saying? About figuring this out?” Lyfrassir looked almost painfully hopeful- and Marius didn’t really have that much to say.

“Well. Raphaella and I figured you could pretty much use me as a test subject. Since I can’t die, and all.”

“I- and you’re comfortable with that? I don’t know how it works, and you didn’t _say_ there were side effects, but we don’t know. You’re immortal. You’d have to put up with them for a long time.” Marius grinned and gave Lyf a thumbs-up. Now was not the time to mention that it was kind of hot. He did not want to make Lyfrassir uncomfortable. But god, the idea of Lyf being able to exert that sort of control? That made Marius squirm.

Lyf inhaled a shaky breath and stood up, recomposing himself.

“If we’re doing this, Von Raum, we need to set some sort of- parameters.” Lyf moved over to the table and sat down, pulling their tablet to them and doing- something. Marius scrambled up to actually sit at the table instead of besides it.

“Yeah! Yeah, that makes sense, I get it,” don’t say safewords, “it makes sense to set up some sort of safeword system,” dammit Marius, “especially in a situation like this.”

“W-well,” Lyf was flushed. Interesting. Maybe at some point after this Marius could possibly consider sounding them out further on a crush being reciprocated. Saying safewords had been a good plan. Marius apologized to himself. “Something like that, certainly, although probably not just words per se as, let’s be honest, I did spend a lot of time telling you to shut up in prison, and if it does slip out now I’d like you to still have a clear method of communicating.”

“I can respect that! Do you know morse code?” Lyf thunks their head against the table before sitting upright again.

“Von Raum. Even though I do, that is a shit way of constructing a safeword. What about a simple knock system? You knock with- anything, really, 2 times, and that means I should rescind all orders.” Lyf frowns. “Actually, before we go any further, we should make sure I _can_ rescind orders.” Marius straightens up in his seat and nods.

“Yeah, that makes sense. Think of some harmless order to give and then,” Marius drums his fingers on the table, “I guess I could also see if I can ignore it. Are you making a spreadsheet? Are you making a fucking spreadsheet?” Lyfrassir ignores him and continues to- Marius cranes his head over- yes, they’re making a spreadsheet.

Lyf pulling themself together and relaxing as they make a plan is nice, seeing him go from unsure of what to do and almost afraid to confident and ready to propose a plan of action.

“Alright. The first order of business should be me figuring out what actually makes something I say a compulsion, starting with something harmless. Then we can use that same order to actually determine if you can resist, and then to determine if I can rescind.” Lyf does a very decisive nod, and it’s not like Marius is going to argue. “We should set a timer, since the Aurora is supposed to arrive on planet soon, yes?” Marius nods and Lyf sighs, continuing, “and I’m definitely getting gently interrogated about why I didn’t check in or anything before I left with you lot. So best if I actually leave the ship when it lands instead of much later.”

“Oh!” Marius pulls out the disembarking bag with Lyf’s name on it. “Ashes made you a disembarking bag as well! I don’t actually know what’s in it but it’s definitely not deadly. If they wanted you dead they’d just, well, kill you. They’re pretty straightforward about that.”

“Well. That’s good to know.” Lyf gingerly takes the bag and puts it on a crate behind them. “I suppose before we get started I would also like to know how Anarchy is doing. You took her to Alexandria?” Marius nodded.

“She said it would take a few hours but she’d have her fixed up good as new! You probably even take her on planet, if you wanted, and kept her away from chlorine.”

“Why chlorine?”

“They multiply if you put them in chlorine, and the planet presumably doesn’t want an infestation, so...”

“No chlorine, noted, thank you. Back on topic...” Marius had managed to derail the conversation right when it was getting where he wanted it. Maybe he was just a dumbass? No, he was getting important business out of the way. “I’m having trouble thinking of a good test command, honestly. Obviously the first thing that comes to mind is shut up, but I feel like I’d rather you not forget on purpose and start talking in morse code. Hm.”

“I’ve got my violin! You could just pick a song for me to play!”

“No. Hm. Alright, an idea: put your hands on the table.” Marius does not feel any particular need to do that, so folds them in his lap instead. Lyf squints at him. “Did you feel an urge to put your hands on the table, or...”

“Nope! Nothing. Free of any urges regarding putting hands on the table.” Lyf marked something on the spreadsheet.

“I’m not sure how much emotion I could actually muster about this, but maybe if I’m just more emphatic...”

“I’ve got a very small sample size, but that does appear to matter!” Lyf taps the pen against their lips.

“Alright then... Von Raum-- no, that’s adding another variable.” Lyf draws in a breath and looks directly at Marius. He’s not sure he can handle this much eye contact. “ _Put your hands on the table._ ” Marius realizes his hands are on the table. Hm. Yup. He thinks about trying to remove them, but he doesn’t really want to. He kind of wonders if there’s always a mental change. Maybe he should get Lyf to make some grapefruit juice and see if he actually likes that shit when Lyf tells him to drink it.

“Do you think if you told me to drink grapefruit I’d actually enjoy it? Because my brain is doing some hardcore rationalizing about why I don’t actually move my hands.”

“Er. So you’d say that you... didn’t realize? That it wasn’t you wanting to move your hands?” Marius shrugs, which is more difficult than you’d think when your hands don’t want to move. He kind of wants to see how long this lasts, so he doesn’t point that out to Lyf.

“Yeah, it just sort of happened. I’m serious about the grapefruit juice, though, I hate that shit and I want to see if my brain will rationalize that as well.” Lyf looks guilty. That’s not great, cover it up, move on, “I mean, that’s probably information you need as well? And it’s not like I’ll die from drinking grapefruit juice so that’s a pretty low-stakes way to figure that out?” Lyf’s face is still a bit screwed up like they have been eating a grapefruit. Or maybe they liked grapefruits, which might be a problem, but Marius was not going to back down on his entirely reasonable stance.

“Von Raum, what is a grapefruit?” Marius gaped in horror. Lyf burst into laughter. “No, I know what a grapefruit is, although I think you’ve maybe only had low-quality grapefruit if you hate it that much. You probably think you need to put sugar on it.”  
“Don’t you?”

“Not if it’s a good grapefruit, Von Raum. Give me a minute.” Lyf went to a wall that had been left curiously empty of crate space and swung out some sort of weird machine. Marius took a leap of faith and said that that was probably the replicator he’d been talking about. He’d forgotten to ask Ashes if they had one. Or multiple. Oh well, that was a note to file away and then forget again.

“So that can make... anything?” Lyf shrugged. “Mostly anything?” Lyf shrugged again. “I’m really not getting an idea of the capacities of this weird machine, Lyfrassir. Is this some sort of weird trade secret?” Lyf put a glass of what definitely looked and smelled like grapefruit juice in front of him.

“I programmed it for shit grapefruit juice so that you wouldn’t have the experience ruined by maybe having the good stuff for once in your life. Give it a try to make sure it’s still disgusting and then I can try ordering you to drink it.” Marius carefully flexed his hands and found out that yup, he could move them again. Maybe he should’ve been trying to do that the whole time? Raphaella would kill him for what he was doing to the scientific process. He took a sip. It was just as disgusting as he remembered.

“I’m not sure I believe there is a better version of this, Lyfrassir. Are you sure that your taste buds aren’t different?”

“Actually, Von Raum, everyone’s tastebuds are different, so we’d never know. As evidenced by the fact that I have met other people who are not from my home that did and do, in fact, like grapefruit juice.”

“They were wrong.”

“We can debate that after this test, Von Raum. Drink the grapefruit juice.” Lyf’s tone isn’t as demanding, but Marius still feels the urge to drink it.

“Did you want me to tell you if I can resist it, or just do it anyways?”

“You might as well tell me. Since you just did. Hm. I suppose I wasn’t feeling particularly strongly about that one, but it is something we need to know, so. _Drink the grapefruit juice_.” Agh, that’s disgusting. His face puckers up, but he checks and he can still move his hands and if he wasn’t drinking he’s pretty sure he could speak, so that’s fine. He would still like to stop drinking the juice. His brain isn’t telling him that he wants to, his brain is doing the equivalent of chanting why at him, so that’s fine. He puts the glass down and exaggerates his disgusted face.

“No, that was still disgusting and I didn’t want to be doing it.” Lyf’s shoulders drop in relaxation and they go from a tight smile to something looser. Marius realizes he’s mirrored it when Lyf gives him a bigger smile and he realizes that whoops, he did start smiling.

They do a bit more of this, figuring out if it’s emotion or intent or inflection that matters to Lyfrassir’s compulsion and how it affects Marius. Lyfrassir’s spreadsheet fills out, and as the timer they set dings, Lyfrassir asks a question that makes the whole thing go crashing down.

“You’re really fine? How does this make you feel?”

“It’s actually kind of hot.” Marius freezes and carefully slides under the table, where he then drags the chair on top of him. This is his new home. He starts picking the lock on the handcuffs as quietly as possible. There’s no noise from above him. So that’s cool, he might have just blue screened Lyfrassir and he can leave and start a new life as someone who didn’t tell their crush who is grappling with eldritch horrors changing them that he thinks it’s kind of hot. Maybe Brian is right and he does not have enough brain cells to pretend to be a doctor.

Marius realizes that by sliding under the table he is in fact sharing space with Lyfrassir’s legs, so maybe this was an even dumber idea. Lyf still hasn’t made any noise. The handcuffs finally click open. New Midgard’s handcuffs were _maybe_ too well made. He slid them into a vest pocket and considered possible escape routes. He could just roll out from under the table and head for the door and pretend this had all never happened. He could lean into it. He could combust right here. He could apologize for making Lyfrassir uncomfortable. He could be the first Mechanism to die of embarrassment.

Lyfrassir joined him under the table. Marius looked at him and decided he’d already said enough for the day. He decided to look at his own feet and sort of glance at Lyf out of the corner of his eyes. Lyf looked beet red, but to be fair, Marius was pretty sure he was too.

“I’m. Sorry if I compelled you to say that. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, especially when you’re helping me with all of this...” Lyf waved at their whole body. Marius frowned.

“Of course I am. I don’t know if you heard from any of the rest of the crew, but I wasn’t _happy_ to leave you behind. So you’re alive and you think age-wise immortal and having weird eldritch problems. I didn’t spend all of that time bugging you on New Midgard because I didn’t like interacting with you.”

“No, but you were locked in a jail cell.” Marius waved a hand dismissively.

“Please, we broke out of those the moment we needed to. And it’s not like we really talked to anyone else. We were in it for whatever the story turned out to be, and we didn’t need to spend our time talking to you.”

“As I recall, it was mostly you talking. Or singing. Playing the violin.” Marius shrugs and feels Lyf’s shoulder next to his. It is a small table.

“Raph and Ivy didn’t like you as much, who knows. Well. They know, and I can analyze something and come up with they decided they were bored of what was functionally multiple decades of flirting from inside of a prison cell.” Marius very carefully doesn’t freeze up as Lyfrassir leans into them. Yes, he’s shocked, no, he’s not going to send a mixed signal that he doesn’t want this.

“So you’re telling me it was a BDSM scenario.”

“You’re going to call it that forever now, huh?”

“Yes.” Marius feels more than sees Lyf scrub at their face. “I think I deserve to get to label it. Since I’m the one who actually couldn’t leave whenever I wanted, because I had a _job_ , Marius.”

“Yeah, but it was a job as a cop, so that’s not really that important. I’ve checked. Even people with normal life expectancies agree with that.” Lyf honest to god _giggles_ into Marius’ shoulder. He thinks he would be okay with dying right now.

“Alright then. Now that I’m not a space cop, I can accept that assessment. I just had to deal with the planet’s chief of police before I got in the shower and the man is a right bastard. Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Hm. Well he’d better not get in our way.” Marius can feel the warm air of Lyf’s breath on his shoulder.

“I’m sure he won’t. Or at least he better not I specifically put ‘no cops’ in the radius that I delineated as being you and your friends’ probable mayhem radius.” It’s cute that Lyf thinks they can be predicted like that, but he’s not going to break those preconceptions right now. It’s too intimate of a moment to ruin like that. “Still. You really think the whole compulsion thing is hot.” Well he’s already said it so it’s too late to backtrack.

“I mean. Yeah. You clearly care about not using it to hurt me in a way I wouldn’t like.” Marius tentatively wraps an arm around Lyf’s shoulder to give them a side hug, which they lean into. “So... giving up control is a bit hot! Which is probably a whole ‘nother conversation, but yes, I’m into it, and if that’s not weird to you you can _definitely_ still use me to practice on.” Lyf’s hum reverberates through Marius’ chest.

“I... yeah. Alright.” Lyf manages to shuffle even closer. They tilt their face up to look at Marius. “Stop me if I’m wrong, but... We’ve probably got enough time for a kiss, yes?” Marius hasn’t brushed his teeth today. Oh no. Lyfrassir is going to kiss him and be disgusted by his morning breath which is technically afternoon breath now and - oh. Marius leans down and into the kiss, and Lyfrassir deepens it, and Marius reaches up with the hand that isn’t still wrapped around them to twine his fingers into their hair and Lyfrassir moans into the kiss. Marius can take a hint, so he twines and untwines his fingers again and again, and Lyfrassir really is like a cat, trying to lean into Marius’ hand and Marius’ mouth at the same time, and Marius can’t say he’s much better, pressing himself into Lyfrassir with every one of their soft groans.

Marius realized that the edges of his vision were going black and pulled back gently before beginning to try to discreetly take in as much oxygen as possible. He was pretty sure Lyfrassir would not find it sexy if he passed out in the middle of make-outs. Lyfrassir looked fine. How long could he hold his breath? Lyfrassir just looked amused as he waited for Marius to catch his breath. Maybe they would have or grow enough of a bastardous streak to survive the Mechanisms.

Both of them froze at a thump on the table above them.

“We’ve landed. Stop making out. Lyfrassir, I’ve given you a basic octokitten care kit. Please read the user’s manual.” Ivy’s footsteps faded into the distance and Marius and Lyf slowly unfroze.

“I. Uh. I guess we’d better go.” Lyf reluctantly pulled back from Marius as Anarchy poured over the side of the table and blepped at the two of them. “I do have meetings. Er. We can continue this later?” Marius helped Lyf out from under the table with Anarchy.

“Yeah, I’d be into that! Want me to come to any of the meetings? I can be a dramatic background force and occasionally make threatening gestures with a gun. They might finish up faster.” Lyf laughed into Anarchy.

“No, but I’ll text you if I need a save.”

“You just don’t want me to shoot the police on sight. Fair, I guess.” Lyf started packing up their things, occasionally brushing hair out of their face, looking more annoyed the more it happened. “Do you want me to braid your hair?” Lyf got a bit of the deer in headlights they’d gotten earlier. “I do know how to braid! I swear!” They ran hand through their hair and looked between the table and Marius.

“I. Guess, yes, that’s- fine. Yes. Nothing too fancy, please.” They pull out a chair and sit down in it, and Marius moves behind them.

“I don’t really know anything too fancy, so no worry there.” Marius didn’t have a comb, but he started finger-combing Lyf’s hair and settled in to braid as Lyf relaxed beneath his hands. They really were a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personally i happen to quite love grapefruit & fresh squeezed grapefruit juice but like if you have to sprinkle sugar on it either you have bad grapefruit or you just don't like it.  
> also for once i had a beta! thank god because editing my own work is horrible, thank you pleasekalemenow


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyf Says Fuck Capitalism, I Have A Boyfriend

Lyf hadn’t been expecting Von Raum- Marius, he had his fingers in Lyf’s hair, he was definitely Marius now- to be quite so forward. But here he was, getting his hair braided by the man just a few minutes after their first kiss. He hadn’t had his hair actually touched in so long. The last time had been decades ago, actually, an awkward experience at the hairdresser’s in this system. Everyone expected a haircut to include what was basically a scalp massage, and Lyf wasn’t going to judge, but he was not comfortable with that. It had been one of the more awkward conversations with McAlister to find out that not everyone actually had a whole culture around hair touching, and braiding, and probably also had much less sensitive scalps.

Hm.

Did Marius know?  
Marius ran his nails over their scalp and they felt themself relaxing and leaning into the touch. He was remarkably good at this, and he could never know or he would be insufferable. As Marius gently wound Lyf’s hair around his fingers, deftly tugging it into place, Lyf felt a tension headache he’d been carrying without realizing it dissipate, and by the time Marius gave him a final gentle skritch on the head they really didn’t want to move. They just wanted to grab him and cuddle somewhere and damn the fact that they hadn’t even really talked about where this relationship was going to go.

“Marius?” They sounded entirely too content even to themself. Marius hummed and started adding- something, Lyf wasn’t sure what, to parts of the braid. “Thanks.” They could hear the smile in his voice as he responded.

“Of course, Lyf! Happy to help. I do not have a mirror to dramatically present your wonderful braiding done by yours truly, but trust me when I say it is marvelous.” Lyf sits up and pulls their shoulder bag out of a crate. He hears Marius whisper to Anarchy behind him. “I’m a bit worried that the crates just produce whatever they need, Anarchy. Keep an eye out for me.”

“I do have an organizational system, Marius, even if you don’t understand it. Although I will admit that this one I simply dropped in there to save on space on the floor.” They turned around and caught Marius looking in one of the crates. “I promise there’s nothing exciting.”

“Yeah, that was just your weird replicator goop again.” Marius replaced the lid as Lyf slid his tablet into his bag. “Don’t forget your disembarking bag! You’ll hurt Ashes’ feelings.” Lyf gingerly picked up the disembarking bag. It was surprisingly heavy. They carefully placed it into their shoulder bag and decided that they could figure out what was in there besides gilded teeth later.

“Do we meet up anywhere? I know this isn’t where I came in, the first time.”

“Yeah, there’s an area where it’s easier for the Aurora to extend a ramp. C’mon, I’ll guide you there. The others are probably not waiting for us.” Lyf swallowed the urge to run his hands through Marius’ hair before they left the confines of the Holt and picked up Anarchy, who quickly slid off of his shoulders and settled into his shoulder bag, which was now quite full.

They did take Marius’ hand as they walked through the Aurora, though. If that was a form of intimacy that Marius accepted, then they’d do it. It was a bit strange that someone with such short hair was so willing to braid Lyf’s hair, but Marius’ hair had always been short. He was immortal, maybe he was still in mourning for something? Lyf couldn’t judge. They hadn’t cut their hair, but this was the fanciest braid they’d worn since their last day as an Inspector Second Class.

“What did you put in the braids? I felt you adding something.” Marius grinned at Lyf and waggled his eyebrows. “Marius, is it something that will make me want to break your violin?”

“No! Probably not. I shredded some paper from my pockets and made little origami stars. They’ll probably fall out, but they’re not really meant to be permanent. Just pretty while it lasts.” Lyf reaches up and gently feels one. “Hey, if you want to see one I can just make another for you.” Marius reached into one of his vest’s pockets with a free hand and managed to very cleanly rip off a strip of paper from what looked like it had once been a complete sheet. He temporarily reclaims his other hand from Lyf and folds a little paper star, which he hands over before reclaiming Lyf’s hand.

It’s simple, white paper strip folded into a star shape, but Lyf can imagine them scattered around their hair, and smiles. He reaches up with his own to drop it into Marius’. It won’t last, but not everything has to be a metaphor, and Marius doesn’t have enough hair to braid a star into it. Maybe one day he will. Lyf would like to return the favour.

Regrettably, the soft mood is broken when they actually enter where all the other Mechanisms are waiting. They’ve hung a banner. It says “Congratulations Marius For Discussing Feelings”. Below that is another banner. It just says “RIP Lyfrassir Edda Run While You Can You Poor Fool”. Lyf is blushing and would very, very much like it if they mysteriously manifested the power to, perhaps, burn down banners. Alexandria starts playing some sort of upbeat song on a saxophone, but is drowned out by La Cognizi and Rasputina blowing into kazoos.

D’Ville has a cake. Lyf does not get to see what it says, because Marius shoots it, and then the Aurora opens the ramp, and the Mechanisms roll downwards in a laughing murderous pile. By the time they reach the end of it, D’Ville is dead, O’Reilly has set Gunpowder Tim and, amazingly, Drumbot Brian on fire, and Marius’ horrible outfit has been rubbed with cake frosting. Lyf is pretty sure that Marius is also bleeding from some gunshot wounds, but he decides to leave the group to it, and deftly steps around them to say hello to the shell-shocked person who was definitely assigned to guide them around. They hold out their hand.

“I’m Lyfrassir Edda, temporarily and entirely theoretically in charge of this lot. I do not actually have the ability to stop whatever mayhem they cause, though. You should know that if they made you sign any liability forms for these disasters, you need to go quit now.”

“I’m. Uh. Henry? I was assigned by Miller? She said she was taking you off the job and you could go take your vacation?” Lyf put a hand on Henry’s shoulder and looked into their eyes.

“Did you sign liability forms, Henry?”

“Y. Yes?”

“Run.” Henry paled. “Go tell Miller that I will be there shortly, after I make sure that they all have the map of the area that I made-- this place _was_ prepared like I said, yes?” Henry squeaked.

“Yes! I just got assigned to this a few hours ago and it’s all very confusing and I don’t know what’s going on and I didn’t have time to make a new plan even though yours has an expected number of casualties which is, frankly, very worrying, Mx. Edda!”

“That’s just how it is, when the Mechanisms are on your planet. Or in your star system. Get used to it as you go tell Miller that she can try and reassign me all she wants, but if she wants any sort of plan to actually be followed, she’s stuck with me.” Henry saluted and ran off. Honestly. No one in this system would’ve lasted a day as a Transport Officer. Their bosses had been much better at the deadpan assurance that if you didn’t do what they said you would be dead. Maybe it was just the lingering eldritch horror giving them an ability at that beyond their achieved station, and wasn’t that a fun thought.

The Mechanisms were still a ball of fighting behind Lyfrassir, leaning more towards having fun than being genuinely angry, if Lyfrassir had to guess. Lyf was pretty sure that they hadn’t heard any of that, but they would almost definitely start spreading out in their mayhem once that fight broke up a bit, so Lyf set off to the nearest building, trusting that the Aurora could always re-send his map when needed. If their plan actually was being implemented, then they’d be able to actually warn people and be believed. The nearest building looked rather like a much larger version of a bar than Lyf had ever really wanted to step foot in before.

That was pretty much what it was, when they stepped inside. A whole football field sized space of a bar, with multiple serving spaces scattered throughout, and a stage at the middle. When Lyfrassir had said that they needed a place close to a source of alcohol, he really hadn’t expected that something like this would exist. Shows you what he knows. The Mechanisms would probably be happy, though. He trudged over to the first available bar and bartender.

“Looking for a drink? We’ve all been a bit on edge, lately.” The bartender looked up at him and paused. “Nice hairdo. Where’d you get that done?” Lyf shrugged.

“Space. I’m afraid I’m not here for a drink- I’m here, sadly, to add to your stress. The Mechanisms are on planet-” the bartender looked shocked.

“I didn’t hear their ship landing!”

“It’s a very nice ship. In any case, they’re on planet, and I’m afraid they started fighting with each other shortly before disembarking. You should have been given plans on how to interact with them if that happens?” The bartender pulls out a binder from underneath the bar. Oh, good. Lyf hadn’t written all of that just for it to go to waste. “Personally I’d recommend staying out of their way and not arguing if any of them wants to take over the tending bar... stuff. One of them apparently enjoys relaxing by serving drinks. I don’t understand it.” The bartender shrugged.

“It can be nice. Especially if people are giving good tips.” Lyf groans and drags a hand down his face.

“Fuck. Did you get the update about the gilded teeth?” The bartender paled.

“The what?”

“One of them carved a lot of wooden teeth and gilded them and someone else thought it would be incredibly amusing to use them as currency, so pass the word if you can. They’re not. Real teeth.” Lyf tried to infuse reassurance into their voice, but based on the frantic typing the bartender was doing into a tablet behind the bar Lyf was pretty sure they had failed.

“Thank you for letting us know! I will. Get that out there right away.”

“Alright. I’ve got to report, but, here,” Lyf dropped his work number’s information into the tablet’s system, “call me if you need help. Sometimes they sort of listen to me. Do you know where Miller is?”

“She’s, uh, small pale-blue building that’s usually the post office? About five minutes down the road if you take a left out the door.” Lyf tossed the bartender a lazy salute and headed out the door.

“Good luck.” Maybe he should’ve asked for a name, but they really didn’t want to get attached to someone who might die. They probably should’ve been a bit more worried about the fact that they were just accepting the chance of casualties and mayhem and, be honest with yourself, Lyfrassir, death.

He’d felt pretty numb about death since their whole system had died, though. If a whole system could fall screaming into the dark- into the rainbow light- with no rhyme or reason to who got to escape (why had they gotten to escape, why had they been the lucky one, they had never liked Odin and had admired Sif if Odin had chosen them shouldn’t she have chosen _someone else?_ Shouldn’t she have looked for someone like her, who wanted to be that, to be this, to be warped and changed? Lyfrassir had been _content_ if not happy, they hadn’t been looking for change!) then the individualized chaos caused by the Mechanisms wasn’t really such a big deal, when you placed it against the backdrop of an uncaring universe. Whatever else the exposure to the Bifrost and the desperate escape afterwards had done, it had made Lyf realize it was impossible for anyone, even immortals, to ever have even the potential to cause as much damage. The Mechanisms could burn a star system to the ground and still not cause as much destruction simply because there would be an escape. There would not be just the there-and-gone rainbow light. However, they still definitely weren’t providing a good background to check his own ethics and morals against. Any of them would probably be surprised that he hadn’t come to some sort of better conclusion in the decades since the Bifrost.

Still, what was annoying Lyf most right now was not the Mechanisms’ take on ethics, but their inability to conform to any sort of statistical approximation of their behaviour, and specifically their inability to follow his plans. When he exited the bar-concert room-maybe also hotel? It looked like those were hotel rooms, further up? He couldn’t see the Mechanisms. They had disappeared. Fucked off. Gone to who-knows-where. Lyf reminded themself that they really needed to go yell at Miller, and the action plan was out there, and if they spent all of their time running after the Mechanisms they’d never get _anything_ done.

Ugh. Talking to Miller. Lyf set off on the road. Anarchy was quite happy in the shoulder bag, purring at every bump, and peeking out from the flap to enjoy the new scenery. They patted her through the bag, and tried to extract their personal phone before realizing that it was all the way under Anarchy and the disembarking bag and there was no way they were ever going to reach it. Aurora would not be happy if she couldn’t reach him, but also, Anarchy looked so comfortable, and Aurora could just call his work phone. Lyf knew she had the number.

Finding the building Miller was in didn’t take that much information. They definitely could’ve found it even if they hadn’t heard about its color or formal postal status from the bartender. They could tell it was the building Miller was supposed to be in because she was sitting outside of it, yelling into her phone, and definitely handling nothing well, based on the fact that it looked like she hadn’t slept for days. Which was another thing about this system, they had much stricter sleep requirements. Still, Lyfrassir remembered when they were the one having a mental breakdown about the mere presence of the Mechanisms. That was a pretty reasonable reaction to have, honestly. Hopefully Miller wouldn’t get used to the Mechanisms and decide they were pretty tame after her star system was devoured by Yog-Sothoth. But it seemed pretty unlikely that that would happen twice, especially since they did keep an eye on the news for anyone pouring large amounts of money into things that humankind was perhaps not to know.

It was difficult to make that determination and mainly meant that Lyf spent a lot of time making fun of scientific articles that claimed that working replicators would never be possible. Which was a way to pass the time, if nothing else. You had to keep an interest going when you were going to live for gods know how long. Or, rather, Yog-Sothoth knows how long.

Miller was still yelling into the phone. She was looking progressively more stressed and tired with each minute that passed. He did _not_ want to deal with that. Maybe he could just leave his letter of resignation and work phone on the desk and get going. Live a new life of not getting yelled at except by people they could yell back at without feeling guilty. The Mechanisms were definitely a yell-y group.

First he would have to write a letter of resignation, but they were nothing if not ready to pound out multiple pages of documentation at the drop of a hat, and the Mechanisms had many, many hats between them. Lyf could pick one to drop. If he just snuck by Miller, got into the building, wrote up a letter very quickly and dropped everything off, he wouldn’t technically be lying to his boss every time they spoke about the properties of the Toy Soldier and the Aurora.

Miller would probably handle that information just fine, without getting creepy or weird about it, based on what they had said about hoping to find non-humanoid life out there one day, but they really didn’t want that getting passed up the ladder. Full offense to all bureaucrats, none of them needed to know that one of the Mechanisms followed all orders you gave it and that they were flying around in a sentient starship, gods, Lyf hadn’t really felt that sink in, but they had just spent a lot of time inside another sentient being which was really weird. Maybe they’d get used to it, but Aurora was sentient enough to be petty in a chat group, and that was a pretty high bar for some of their coworkers to get across, so that might take a few years.

Lyfrassir realized that they were planning to stay with the Mechanisms. Which wasn’t- bad. The Mechanisms were the only other group of immortals he’d ever heard of, after all, even if they got to heal from wounds instead of band-aiding their fingers after a papercut. Brian was- nice, if a bit awkward to be around right now. They could probably develop an actual friendship with La Cognizi and Alexandria now, if they worked at it and prepared themself for the many cop jokes they’d both make at his expense. Perhaps the most important point in favor of remaining with the Mechanisms was Marius Von Raum. They’d made out with Marius. Marius had _braided_ their _hair_.

Oh, shit, now that their hair wasn’t being played with Lyfrassir remembered that they had no idea if Marius had any idea how intimate that had been. The Mechanisms had been in the Yggdrasil system, so surely they’d picked up on at least some of the culture? Marius might have some idea of the situation, but that was definitely a conversation to have sooner rather than later, and definitely before Marius braided his hair again. Hopefully braided his hair again.

Oh shit, Miller wasn’t yelling into her phone now. Oh, shit, she had seen them and was walking over to them looking worried and she definitely had on the same empathy face she’d had when one of his coworkers had gone on bereavement leave. Lyfrassir didn’t have anyone close to them to die, anymore! This was not really how they wanted this conversation to go. They didn’t want it to go at all. But since they didn’t have the ability to turn invisible, probably, they just tucked the flap of their shoulder bag closer to shut so that hopefully Miller wouldn’t notice Anarchy.

“Miller.”

“Edda. Please step into my office. Well, my cubicle that got a shower curtain across it in deference to some idea of privacy during meetings.” Miller gestured behind her and started to lead Lyf through the building while they frantically tried to type out a letter of resignation on his phone before they made it to her office. It was up a floor, and they were having to dodge through other panicked employees, so he got halfway through before they made it to the cubby designated as Miller’s office. They kept on frantically typing as Miller started to speak, the serious and empathetic face still in full force. Maybe someone she knew had died? Hopefully not because of the Mechanisms, they did not want to deal with the weird sort of apology they would feel they should make.

“Edda, I want to apologize for not taking your leave request seriously when you first submitted it. It’s clear now that you realized that prolonged interactions with the band have been causing you difficulties, and I should have taken those concerns seriously when you first raised them.” Yes, she should have, but it was too late now. “That was a failure on my part, but I don’t think that it’s too late to help you out and correct that. Now that you’re back on planet, I think it’s time to keep your feet on the ground in more ways than one.” They were almost done with their resignation letter. They were so close to being able to wipe their work phone, leave the letter in Miller’s inbox, and go be stressed for absolutely no pay. “So you’re going to be staying here for a bit while I get a psychiatrist in.” Miller placed a binder that looked like the same binder the bartender had had onto her desk, and looked up at him, looking for something on his face.

“I’m... glad you’re using my plan?” Lyf’s shot in the dark failed to land and Miller looked more concerned. Anarchy slid out of Lyf’s shoulder bag, and Lyf could feel them exploring around their feet, but Miller was making very aggressive eye contact. “I put a lot of thought into it,” they tried.

“Edda- acceptable casualties?” She looked pained. “Plans to minimize but not avoid total destruction of an area? A plan to let merchants transfer gilded teeth into cash, added at the last second? I didn’t even bother publishing that. Gilded teeth, honestly, there’s no way they have that many teeth.”

“They’re, uh, wooden. Carved teeth. I’m fairly sure I mentioned that?”

“I don’t know what’s happened, but I’m sure that we can figure it out.” They sent the letter of resignation, sent a text to a bartender asking for help to use their personal number now and please let everyone know, and finally went into the phone settings to begin wiping the phone.

“Good luck getting anything better than my plan out there. Especially now. You brought someone on who had no experience with the Mechanisms and made them sign liability forms? What was the plan there?” Miller sighed.

“I didn’t hire Henry, or assign them. I was planning on taking over myself, but Harold insisted. He did _not_ like your plan. So I’m moving you off to your leave, it’s on the other side of the planet, and you can rest easy knowing that he’ll take care of it.” Lyf squinted at the ceiling. Harold. Harold. Haro-

“ _Paris Harold?_ The _Chief_ of _Police_? You put the police in charge of trying to corral the Mechanisms? Do you _want_ a lot of dead people on your hands? Well. I suppose technically they’ll be on Harold’s hands, but that’s not important.” Lyf sends the email and wipes the phone. “My letter of resignation is in your inbox. Feel free to peruse it, at your own leisure. I was asking for two weeks of leave, so you can consider this my two week’s notice as well. Here is my work-issued phone, you already have access to my work computer, I’m going to go now.” Lyf picked up his shoulder bag and turned to go. “Next thing you know Harold will be rescinding my guide.”

“Edda- are you sure you want to do this? It’s not like you have any job expertise outside of this.” Lyfrassir did not turn around to look at Miller. They had determined that eye contact helped compulsion, and they did not want to compel Miller. She was trying to fix things, even if she was going about it completely wrong.

“I’m actually very good about saving money. But even if I wasn’t, do you have any idea how many offers I get a month that say that they would love to pay me for a sample of my blood or bone marrow or lung tissue? I’m set. I don’t need this job. It was a great way to pass the time for a few decades, and now things are happening, and I might as well try to minimize the damage and enjoy seeing the only people who even _remember_ my system. So please, just... leave it alone.” Anarchy crawled up from the floor and onto his shoulder, causing Miller to draw back.

“You brought that thing from the ship?” Lyf gave Anarchy a gentle pat on the head.

“Yes. She’s very sweet. I don’t want to hear it.” Lyf stepped through what was definitely a shower curtain and headed back out through the post office. Most of the people didn’t care about Anarchy, or maybe didn’t notice her. Some drew forward, wanting to learn more, and some backed away, like Miller, who stood behind the shower curtain.

Anarchy just enjoyed causing her namesake, curling around Lyf’s neck like a scarf and purring. It was very soothing. There wasn’t any overt chaos in the street, which was theoretically good. On the other hand, it was going to make it harder to locate the Mechanisms, who had almost definitely split up by now.

They checked their phone. Yup, messages were already pouring in from various freaking out service workers. They remembered the now relatively brief period of life they had spent as in customer service, and empathized. If the Mechanisms had shown up at the shitty corner store they had worked at for money through school they would have just committed a murder and accepted that instead of a transport officer they were going to be a career criminal, now. Immortal customers were possibly the nightmare scenario. He started heading in the direction of the clothing vendors, since they were the most recent freak-out, as he went back and started replying to the others.

Most of the answers were pretty simple. Don’t worry about D’Ville if he didn’t have a gun and was stuck in a cage Alexandria made, but if he started ordering drinks they might as well hand them over as long as they stayed out of dagger range. The Drumbot probably didn’t need to be stopped from going over the whole sound system, but they should watch out for Rasputina stealing bits of it and have replacements handy. Actually, if they didn’t mind dealing with explaining the gilded teeth, taking her to a hardware shop or a ship dock would probably be better.

More difficult was the fact that Von Raum appeared to be lost entirely, as no one had any idea where he was, and Gunpowder Tim was apparently educating a group of kids on the finer aspects on how to conduct trench warfare. Where had he found kids? Why was he teaching them basic first aid and also how to snipe with BB guns? No one had actually been hurt yet so Lyf tentatively filed that under okay but concerning.

La Cognizi and O’Reilly were in the clothing vendor’s section of this village, apparently having very high standards and threatening some people at gunpoint over their fashion choices, so Lyfrassir decided to head over there first. They weren’t worried about the lack of Alexandria- assuming no one bothered her, she was only likely to download the whole planet’s worth of information and then sit and archive it.

Hm. How did they feel about data piracy on this planet? Hopefully Harold didn’t catch wind of it. Lyfrassir may have found the man annoying to talk to, but he didn’t deserve to be sending his employees to their deaths. That sort of action could mentally scar a man and get innocent bystanders killed. The town was a bit larger than expected, which Lyfrassir supposed made some sort of sense when you had a town that was basically built to be a place for shows large enough that a whole system would want to see it. Still. It seemed excessive.

When they finally reached the vendors, it was pretty easy to find O’Reilly and La Cognizi. He just followed the sounds of yelling, and one gunshot.

“See, it can’t even handle a single bullet at close range! There’s no way we can buy this for- Lyfrassir! What are you doing here?” La Cognizi looked strangely guilty. Lyfrassir held up his phone.

“I get notifications when the lot of you are scaring the locals. What are you trying to prove by shooting a vest? It’s not like any of you need to care, if you get shot.” La Cognizi stuffed it into the overflowing bag that O’Reilly was carrying.

“We just thought it might be nice. Avoiding tailoring. Except when we have to, of course.” Lyf raised an eyebrow at O’Reilly. The two of them still looked a mess from the fight on and around the ramp of the Aurora, and hadn’t taken any moves to clean up. It seemed a bit hypocritical to be talking about avoiding tailoring now.

“I’m not going to ask.” La Cognizi moved to a booth behind him and they were fairly certain from the sounds that she was holding up fabric and then putting it back down. O’Reilly was doing hand signals. What was going on here? Why did he definitely not want to know? “Do either of you happen to know where Marius might have gone to? I haven’t actually received any messages yelling about mayhem that he is causing, which seems a bit out of character.” O’Reilly shrugged.

“He could be anywhere, mate, I’m not my friend’s keeper.” They looked around. “I don’t see him around here. But hey, while you’re here, why don’t you help us out? And your outfit is pretty boring as I remember telling you, so c’mon, let’s get you something more exciting. How do you feel about sparkles? You look like a sparkle sorta person.” Behind them, Raphaella chirped another question.

“Bedazzling! How do you feel about bedazzling, Lyfrassir?” Lyfrassir turned to see her holding up a shirt to them. “Is this to your tastes?” The shirt was a very nice shade of lavender, but it was also bedazzled all over. Lyf could see the bedazzler in her hands.

“No, thank you, I think I’m fine.” La Cognizi frowned.

“No bedazzling, then. Come with us.”

“I- no, I’m fine, really, I should be going to make sure D’Ville isn’t killing anyone trying to escape the cage-” Lyfrassir found themself dragged off and into the middle of the tailors. Oh no. They weren’t escaping this.

The next few hours passed in a blur of fabric, sparkles, the bedazzler, and a distressing amount of stabbing. Lyfrassir was pretty sure that O’Reilly called in the Toy Soldier to bring in more gilded teeth at one point. There was an ambulance or two or many. There was a lot of yelling. At one point they thought they saw Tim leading children into an attack on the food stalls. Time was a blur that could only be marked through the number of clothing items they were made to try on and pronounce judgement on. Halfway through they started wondering if they were being distracted. The vendors started to look more and more tired and worried. Lyfrassir couldn’t decide if that was because of the ambulances or because they had been here for multiple hours. It was dark out. They really wanted to take a nap. Their phone had not stopped pinging with people requesting quick answers about what to do with the Mechanisms when Ashes and Raphaella finally took mercy and brought Lyf back to the Aurora with ten bags of shopping that they had not needed even if it was quite nice. Anarchy had absorbed a whole stall of jewelry and was now sparkling. Lyfrassir had found a gold bar in the disembarking bag and handed it over in apology, and the vendor had been quite happy with that before she packed up and left.

Flopping down in their bed, they started rummaging through the disembarking bag. There was quite a number of gilded teeth, a few small gold bars, and a whole fucking gun with multiple extra bullet cartridges. Hadn’t Ashes mentioned bullet shortages? There was even a holster for Lyfrassir to attach to a waist belt. It was almost touching, but also, Lyf really did not want the other Mechanisms to see the gun and decide it was open season on shooting them.

On the other hand, it would be very cathartic to shoot the Mechanisms. They could decide in the morning. They repacked the disembarking bag, placed it back into their shoulder bag, and opened the octokitten manual that had been forgotten in the Holt.

“Oh. I forgot to get octokitten toys. Or ... anything for you, Anarchy. Sorry.” Anarchy did not appear to care from where she was curled against him. “I’ll see about doing that tomorrow.” Anarchy nuzzled deeper into their side.

The manual was interesting, if not entirely helpful, seeing as Lyf was not treating Anarchy as a pest but as a pet. Still, they made a note to set up some food and water bowls, as well as a box for her, although Ivy was unclear on if that was actually needed. She had included a lot of notes that basically said “Tim might know more than I do”, but she had also put a few bottles of octokitten glue and instructions on how to use it on the table, so Lyfrassir figured this was a net gain for the two of them. Ugh. They should probably shower before they got into pajamas and under the covers, or they would feel incredibly gross in the morning.

If they kept on telling themself that, maybe they’d actually get up. What finally pushed them into doing it was Anarchy sliding off the bed and meowing at him. When they were already up to set up a set of food and water bowls, it just made sense to continue being upright. Lyfrassir pulled out the few surviving stars from their braids, and got into the shower to clean themself before drying off and putting on clean pajamas. Which were something they now had an abundance of, thanks to Ashes and Raphaella.

Regrettably, as they look through the pile after their shower, sleepily rebraiding their hair for the night with one hand, all the tank tops and sleep shirts had ridiculous phrases on them. They had at least found a simple pair of pants, if by simple they meant with a delicate floral pattern that occasionally had, in a very nice cursive, ‘all cops are bastards’ written on it. They were falling asleep over the sorting, and they were about to just give up when they felt other hands- one mostly metal, Marius- take over their sleep braid.

“Why are you still up? I was just going to drop off some presents and go. Ashes told me you were probably asleep by now.” Lyf hummed and leaned back into Marius.

“Just cleaning up. They made me get a lot of clothing today.”

“I heard. Sorry about that, everyone can go a bit overboard. And... sorry about the intervention they tried to hold, if that made you uncomfortable.”

“Hmm. No, it was mostly amusing.” Oh. Right. “Marius?”

“Yes, Lyf?”

“You, uh. Did you pick up on any of our... cultural traditions? While you were pirating around the Yggdrasil system?” Lyf felt Marius’ shrug as he finished their sleep braid.

“Not really. Not a lot of them. We mostly did, you know, pirating, and then being a jail cell, and you don’t pick up a lot of cultural influence in a prison cell! Which you would know. Why, what’s up?” Lyf turned to face Marius.

“There’s, well. No good way to say this? And I should have told you before, but hair braiding is sort of. An intimate thing.” Lyf had dropped eye contact the moment they started talking, and was now just awkwardly looking at Marius’ chest. “Which I was fine with! I was. I was and am totally fine with you braiding my hair, and I should have brought it up earlier, but your hair is so short that I didn’t think it would be something you would want to do, which was clearly a mistake, and I’m sorry if that’s. Weird, now.”

“Oh! Okay, I thought maybe I had accidentally offended you.” Lyf dragged their eyes back up to look at Marius’ face. He just looked relieved. They leaned in and hugged him, and Marius wrapped his arms around him in return. “I don’t really understand the short hair thing?” Marius was speaking into the top of his head now, and Lyf could feel the rumbling of his voice in his chest. It was. Very nice. “I just like my hair like this. It’s still fun to play with, I promise. But we, the Mechanisms we, tend to take care of each other when we’re not, you know.”

“Murdering each other?” Marius chuckled into Lyf’s hair..

“Yeah. When we’re not murdering each other. Which is really just stress relief, when we can’t die! But Nastya and I are sort of in demand as hair braiders. You’d think Raphaella with all that hair would be better at it, but she always gets distracted halfway through.” Lyf can feel their brows creasing.

“Well. It’s definitely different. It’ll take some getting used to, but that’s good to know. Hm. Communication.”

“Yeah, I’d rather you know now than see me braiding Raph’s hair and think I’m cheating on you or something. Although you should probably also know that we have all fallen in and out of relationships. It happens when you’re the only immortals around and also on a ship together for, you know, milennia at a time. Nastya’s the only one immune to that because she’s a lesbian. And also in a deeply committed relationship with the Aurora, and I love the Aurora but only as the friend who carries us all through space.”

“I don’t want to know how that works. I’m happy for them, but please tell me nothing more.” Lyf yawned into Marius’ chest before reluctantly pulling away to look up at him. “I should go to sleep if I’m supposed to keep up with the lot of you tomorrow.” Marius leaned back in, tightening the hug once again. Lyfrassir couldn’t quite bring themself to lean away again, enjoying the comforting press and knowledge that he wasn’t alone, as he so often had been in the Holt. They yawned into Marius’ chest again.

“Yeah, it sounds like you should be getting to bed. How much sleep do you need? I can wake you up when it’s time. I’m very good at waking up ten to fifteen minutes before when I mean to so that I can mourn the lost sliver of sleeping time. Might be a mechanism side effect, but I can’t exactly ask.” Marius yawned. “I have been told that I am very nice to wake up to.”

“I’ve got an alarm clock, Marius. It’s on my phone.”

“I was sort of trying to imply we could cuddle?” Lyf squints up at Marius. It’s very late. They definitely want to go to sleep. Marius is in clean clothing, and they’re right next to him, so it’s pretty clear that he’s showered. He smells like cedar and lemongrass, and Lyf would really like to keep on smelling him and enjoying this embrace. The hug, and the casual intimacy of the braiding, the ease with which Marius had suggested cuddling, all felt very _comforting_ to Lyfrassir. They sort of wondered if their relationship was moving too fast, but it felt nice. Yes, apparently Marius had been flirting while in prison, but Lyf doesn’t think that could count for actual time spent moving towards a relationship. Still.

“I think I’d like that.” Lyfrassir yawns again, popping their ears with the stretch. “As long as you don’t mind the temperature I keep the Holt. I’m not up to negotiating about the thermostat tonight.” Marius places a kiss on the top of his head.

“It’s fine. It’s a bit chilly in here, but cuddles should fix that problem.” That out of the way, Lyf started to drag Marius to the bedroom. They’re not awake enough to keep on negotiating about blankets or anything else. Hopefully Marius isn’t a blanket hog, but the niceness of the hug definitely indicates that he will be lovely to cuddle with. They vaguely hear Marius laugh and say something about them crashing, but they’re too tired to argue, and finish dragging him into bed and under the covers. 

Once they’re both situated under the covers, Lyf snuggles into Marius’s arms, their face pressed into his chest, still smelling the cedar and lemongrass. They wonder what they smell like to him, but they’re too tired to ask, and just sling an arm over his waist. Marius places a gentle arm over their back, gently rubbing his hand up and down in a soothing motion, and as they drift off, the most relaxed they’ve been in ages, they think they hear him singing a soft lullaby.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to kill a lot of cops and then be gay and tender

Marius brushed off the cake from his outfit. His vest was still remarkably clean, but his pants had cake frosting encrusted in. That was going to be a tough laundry job. His shirt wasn’t all that much better. He ran his fingers through his hair and grimaced. It was also caked with cake and frosting. This was going to be disgusting to clean out of his hair later. Maybe he should just get it all shaved off and then grow it back quickly. That might be easier than actually working it all out of his hair, especially since he had errands to run.

He pulled out his list. Get bullet & knife proof clothing for Lyf, get Lyf some other protective gear, get a lot of metal for the Aurora’s fabrication facilities, and maybe do some window shopping! Window shopping was always a good idea, he thought. You never knew when you’d see someone that you just had to have. He found a car and hijacked it, driving off to go see if he could find a mall, or any sort of supply store. Aurora had given him a few places to try, and he wanted to get back by tonight so he could give Lyfrassir the presents and have tomorrow off to cause his own mayhem.

The car doesn’t drive very well, but that might be due to all the modifications he had to make to get it to drive without keys or the right biosignature or anything else, and it did at least go fast even if it handled corners horribly. Still, Marius left it parked on a sidewalk and decided that he was going to pick a different car to get back. This city looked like it had much fancier cars to choose from. Maybe he’d take one back to the Aurora and he and Tim could mod it! Did Lyfrassir like cars? They had been part of the transport police. Maybe they could help Marius and Tim mod the car.

Marius checked his phone for the map the Aurora had given him. Lyf’s map was nice, but also pretty useless and clearly designed to try and keep all of them in the town, so Aurora had gone and downloaded a map of the planet for everyone. She had also very kindly marked the stores that had what she wanted and what he wanted, so hopefully he’d be able to do this quickly.

Weird. The first store he got to was closed. Had the bars down and everything. Marius shrugged and shot out the glass before reaching in and breaking the lock. He was in. It was a pretty nice supply shop for cops, and Marius was ready to rob the hell out of the place. He’d even brought duffle bags! The Aurora had given him Lyfrassir’s measurements, so he picked out all the stab and/or bulletproof stuff he could find. Hopefully Raphaella and Ashes would have success at all the stands selling clothes, but if nothing else Marius could definitely sew up some nice protective outfits for Lyf.

Ooo, they had transport officer green titanium-tipped boots! He was definitely getting those, Lyf looked like the kind of person that could use those for a really good kicking if he wanted to. Marius swept all the pairs of those he could find into the duffle bags. By the time he’d gone through most of the store, he had a great assortment of protective clothes for Lyf, even if he would be re-dying or sewing over a lot of it. Cop clothes didn’t really _need_ to come in almost exclusively cop colors with cop insignia, but that was still really fixable. Rip off some of the patches, replace them with some others depending on if Lyfrassir wanted to stay.

Marius wanted Lyfrassir to stay. But he’d been practically married to his job in the Yggdrasil system, and certainly still seemed to care a lot about it now, so maybe they wouldn’t. Marius kicked some glass shards down the street as he wandered towards the supply shop the Aurora had wanted him to go to. Maybe he could pick up a shopping cart there and stop thinking about the very real possibility that Lyfrassir wouldn’t be leaving the system. It could just be a fling. Sure, they’d shared a very nice moment under the table, but... well. He could just ask. He did get a banner out of the other Mechanisms that said congratulations for discussing your feelings and he should probably honor that by just asking the damn question. If Lyfrassir just wanted a fling, Marius was going to be the best damn fling ever.

It was a pretty long walk to actually get over to a metal supplier, which made sense, since he was going from being in the center of a city to the outskirts, but it was nice to stretch his legs. It was weird that no one else was around. He hadn’t even done anything murderous yet! There was no particular reason for the city to be empty unless they did this for _every_ car hijacking, which seemed like a gigantic overreaction. Marius smelled sweets and pastries and started looking for the right storefront. It would be nice if he could actually read all the little pictograms. Still, he took a guess on a store that had a sign with painted cupcakes and cookies, and the door was unlocked! Happy days! They had glass case after glass case of exquisite looking sweets on top of shelves of baked goods, and Marius reached his hand into one of the sweets baskets and ate some while shoving others into a paper bag and then into his pockets. The shelves had such a large selection of cupcakes that Marius knew that he had to bring some back for Lyfrassir. It was fated cupcakes. But the baked goods shelves were locked, and he didn’t want to get glass on them.

“Hello? Can I get some cupcakes?” He peered over the counter. There was some probably teen trying to hide. “Can I please get some cupcakes? Like, 24 or so?” The teen tried to crawl further under the counter. It was kind of amusing since there was barely room for a toddler under the counter. “Right, I’ll just take them myself.” Marius set down the duffles and swung over the counter, quickly finding the cupcake boxes and constructing two. “Do you know if there’s mint in any of these?”

“Er. I- if they’ve got mint on them, it’ll be on the ingredient cards?” Marius frowned. “They’re very comprehensive!”

“No, I just can’t read your language. Can you just get up here? I’ll give you,” Marius patted down his pockets, “5 gilded teeth?” The teen started to back away. “They’re wooden,” he clarified. “And it is pure gold!” Marius placed the handful of teeth on the counter. “I’m not going to kill you. I don’t know how to read these and I don’t want any allergic reactions.” The teen tentatively moved closer.

“Which ones were you looking at?” Marius pointed out cupcakes and got yeses or nos on all of them, and managed to fill the boxes. “Do you need, uh, a bag?”

“Yeah, that would probably be good until I find a cart.” The teen pointed across the street.

“The grocery store has carts and also a shitty manager so they won’t care if you steal shit from them.”

“How’s your manager? Should I be causing more destruction of property?”

“Nah, she’s fine, she’s just the flu right now so she legally couldn’t be here and I didn’t get the, uh, Space Pirate warning until I had already opened shop.” Marius snickered. “No, dude, that’s literally what it says.” A phone was held up for inspection. Marius obliged. Yup, that was a shelter-in-place advisory for a whole city with no explanation except for Space Pirates. They were all lucky Ashes wasn’t the one doing the shopping, he’d seen some _really_ shit architecture that even he had wanted to burn.

“Well, I’d better get going then. Enjoy the teeth.” Marius picked up his bags and went across the street. The sliding doors didn’t open, but they were really easy to break, so Marius grabbed a large cart and dropped the duffles in before carefully placing the cupcakes on top.

This should work until he found a big ol’ truck for the metals. Aurora and Ashes hadn’t actually specified the amount or types of metals they wanted.

**Thot:**

Hey @Girlfriend Material @hottest one here need more info what type and how much metal did you both want

**hottest one here:**

Idk like a lot. Find a big ‘ol 16-wheeler if they’ve got those and load it the fuck up. Lead. copper.

**Girlfriend Material:**

Titanium. Steel. Iron. Also Copper. Tungsten! Mercury. Whatever they’ve got, basically.

**hottest one here:**

Also marius poll what colors do you think Lyfrassir would look best in

Its not rhetorical raph and i are dragging them around getting them a new wardrobe because lmao lets be real. Single color no texture vest? Single color shirt? Single color pants? Cannot Hang With Us.

**raphaella the cognizi:**

Yeah I also picked up a lot of belts and gears and shit for them to accessorize with. Up to them to find their personal style. We already have like ten thousand goggles on board so that should be fine.

Oh and get aluminum 

**Thot:**

I will see what they have!

Also I know they like greens but please dont put them in all greens they will just look like their copsona again ): Also that’s my colorscheme.

Blues and purples? Green hints

**hottest one here:**

you are just trying to get them in your inverted colors i see how it is

but that would look nice so suggestion accepted

hows the city i wanna head in tomorrow

**Thot:**

The city is on lockdown shelter in place because of a space pirate warning ): It has not been any fun whatsoever. I cannot recommend it.

Big Fs for our fun

**Jonny D’All-the-knives:**

Well its got to be more exciting that being STUCK IN A METAL LAUNDRY HAMPER THAT’S BEEN WELDED TO THE FLOOR @itchy @itchy @itchy FUCK YOU

):< the bartenders won’t even get close enough to stab. I can’t even get a good throw through the bars. They had to get a big curly straw for my drinks.

**Banjobot:**

Is someone taking pictures? Or do I need to.

**Jonny D’All-the-knives:**

Fuck you???

**Banjobot:**

You’re not fucking anyone in a metal laundry hamper

**check out these guns:**

lmao send me the pics when you take them

**Banjobot:**

Yeah I’m on the way sound check was mostly done anyways except for Nastya rewriting so she can steal bits

**Jonny D’All-the-knives:**

I am going to kill all of you

**Thot:**

F

Okay this is boring i’m hotwiring another car after I get some groceries.

The grocery store employees were mostly in the distance, holding up their phones and most likely filming Marius’ actions as he grabbed random appealing-looking food items off the shelves and reached over to munch on some sushi that had been left out, probably when they saw that he was coming close. He saw grapefruit and squinted down at them. Lyfrassir would probably appreciate it. But, on the other hand, they were disgusting fruits. Marius sighed and put a few in the cart. He also swiped some of the fancy chocolates, a lot of better fruit, and all the fancy snacks that he thought people might enjoy. There were so many fancy snacks. He was definitely in a high-end grocery store. The employees kept on darting out of sight in the corner of his eyes like octokittens that had recently been near Jonny. Once he’d filled up a cart of non-perishable-if-left-in-the-sun-for-most-of-a-day-ables he wheeled it back up to the front, tossed a peace sign at the lurking employees, and smashed the cash registers before wheelying the cart into the street.

There were still plenty of cars just lying around, abandoned, probably because of the shelter in place. This was so, so boring. Normally he’d have his friends with him at least, but they were all off causing their own definitely less useful but maybe more fun mischief so Marius was stuck once again hotwiring a car. He decided on a neon green speedy looking one since it matched his pants, or at least what parts of his pants did not have cake dried into them.

He was leaving cake and frosting flakes whenever he moved, which was a bit gross, but he was also cleaning the pants just by walking and that was an achievement. He was going to need to run these through the washer a few times.

**Thot:**

Also big F’s for my outfit please

**Jonny D’All-the-knives:**

No one is going to press F for that horrible mating display. We all agree. What’s the opposite of F.

Marius decided to put his phone down before he got roasted. The truck roared into life, and he had only gotten minimally zapped! Excellent. The cart wasn’t too hard to manhandle up into the bed of the truck, and it already had tie-downs, so that was great! He carefully placed the cupcake bag on the passenger seat and buckled them in before dropping the duffle bags in the bed of the truck and heading out to steal what would hopefully be a truly prodigious amount of metal for the Aurora and Ashes. The road was pretty empty on the way there as well, although he did end up getting into a shoot-out with cops about halfway there. They were pretty bad at being in shoot-outs, though, so it really didn’t slow him down much and he made it to whatever the hell type of building stored metal with plenty of daylight left.

It was pretty busy there! There were a lot of cops and what was maybe some paramilitary force. They had better gear, in any case, but a lot worse fashion sense, so it was really averaging out to confusing. But Marius hadn’t done any good violence in a while, and Ashes had given him hand grenades because they definitely liked him or knew that he would run into trouble. Either way! It was just more fun when you had to work with limited resources and also very little cover because he didn’t want the cupcakes to get destroyed. The truck had already taken a decent amount of bullets, though, so he’d definitely have to pick up another one.

Honestly, it was mostly pretty boring. After the first few times they’d gotten in a killing shot and he’d still gotten back up they seemed pretty demoralized. Lots of screaming, a fair bit of panicked yelling questions, and absolutely no change in tactics! If your whole “lots of bullets” plan isn’t working, then get out there and figure out a new one! How hard would it have been to try some dismemberment, or some fire, or even anything other than regular bullets? _Lyfrassir_ had had a laser gun and they were just transport police! But these cops and weird camo-dressed pseudo-cops just had lead bullets. Boring. Still, Marius made sure to go around and put all the bullets and casings into the last free duffle bag. They were a bit bloody, but the Aurora had never minded that before!

Actually getting into the building was pretty easy. Marius just found a key on one of the cops that hadn’t had the good common sense to run away and let himself in. It was empty, which sucked, because that meant no one was around to actually tell him what metals were which or help him load, but good because they left the keys to a whole 26 wheel truck which Marius hadn’t actually been aware any civilization had made. Most of them tended to decide 18 wheel length was enough and leave it alone after that, but this... alright, it was about a third bigger, but that was still a lot of metal. Marius found a loading machine and started using it with wild abandon, loading nicely-formed rods of metal into the truck and hoping that he was right about what they were based on sight and smell and taste. If it wasn’t Ashes could come back out here. He even loaded in the few gold rods in the facility so that they could mint more gold bars.

Once he had finally figured out how to open the big shutters so he could drive the 26 wheeler out, Marius exited the building to see a cop leaning into the truck to- they were grabbing his fucking cupcakes! Those were a _gift_! Marius unholstered his gun and used one of his last bullets to shoot him in the knee. He could’ve gone for the head, but blood might’ve gotten on the cupcake bag. He didn’t want to waste another bullet on them, but what was having a metal hand for if not efficiently choking people? Once that was done with, he grabbed the duffle bags and the cupcake bag and put them up in the passenger seat. The cart was a bit harder, but he wedged it in there with the metal rods and used the tie-downs from the truck to secure it. With responsibilities out of the way, he was finally able to get going on the road. The cupcakes smelled really good, wafting chocolate and vanilla up to his face, but he knew if he wanted them to last he was going to have to wait until he got back to the Aurora or he’d just absent-mindedly eat them all on the way over. Alas for pros and cons of mechanisation being that you didn’t have to worry about what you ate but you still had to eat. Marius scrounged up a sandwich from the groceries and started munching with one hand while he drove back to the Aurora.

It was getting pretty dark by the time he rolled up and the Aurora directed him to a storage bay that had a big enough entrance ramp to accommodate the 26-wheeler. He unwedged the cart and picked up all the bags. Time to find Lyf. They’d probably be in the Holt, at this time of the night. Marius could drop off the groceries and then go to sleep. He looked down at himself. He looked a bit nightmarish, right now. Crusted in cake and blood and miscellaneous gore, if Lyf was awake he definitely wouldn’t want to see Marius looking like this. He tried to run his fingers through his own hair and it just felt solid. Definitely time to shave and regrow it. He wheeled his way back to his own room and shoved everything inside. He should probably clean up in here! There was rosin all over from the last time he’d gotten shot and mistakenly held the jar in front of him, his spare sheets were being used as a nest for octokittens, and his bed was still broken from when Brian had jumped on top of him to wake him up and broken the bed. The only neat thing in the room was where he kept his instruments and instrument supplies. That area he kept scrupulously clean. His instruments were all going to need retuning for this environment in two days, but for now they were all detuned and fine.

Since he couldn’t make it any worse, Marius sat down on the floor and took out his phone. Before he went to bother Lyf, he should make sure that they were actually awake, and if they weren’t he’d just leave the stuff as a surprise for morning Lyf.

**Thot:**

Hey @hottest one here @raphaella the cognizi were you the last ones to see Lyf? Are they back on ship?

**raphaella the cognizi:**

Stop cyberstalking your crush. Boyfriend? Datemate? Whatever term you’re all using.

**Thot:**

): i just wanna know if theyre back so i can go see them

support my gay endeavours

He shoved some of the crap on the floor into piles and headed to the shower. He probably should’ve taken his clothes off before he got into the shower, but he only took off the vest before deciding that this was a washing me and my clothes kind of day and getting in. There probably wasn’t a best way to wash cake, frosting, and blood caked clothes anyways. It’s not like he was ever going to be able to save these clothes, anyways. Marius finally stripped out of the disgusting clothes and finished up showering. He wanted to go give the stuff to Lyf, not fall asleep and accidentally drown in the shower. A shake of the shampoo bottle revealed that he was out. Marius sighed and sat down in the shower. He had forgotten his own list. There was nothing for it but shaving and starting again. At least he still had a razor.

He got out of the shower and started shaving his head, dropping the hair into the trash can. The last time someone had dropped their hair into the drain the Aurora had killed them a _lot_ and he did not have time for that right now. Marius finished up a very choppy shave and focused on growing his hair back out. It looked a bit shaggy when he was done, but frankly, he wasn’t going to re-shave it to start over. Maybe Ivy would cut it? That would be nice. He’d have to ask her tomorrow. In the meantime, though, he could finally go see Lyfrassir. Marius got dressed again, in a more normal outfit for him. The bright colors were nice but there was something to be said for a simple red and green color scheme. _Now_ it was finally time to go see Lyfrassir. Marius managed to avoid the other Mechanisms and the almost definite teasing on the way over, and entered the Holt, parking the cart outside, to find what looked like a very tired Lyf sorting through shirts that they definitely didn’t have that morning. Ah, Ashes and Raphaella. Getting them a whole new wardrobe. They were trying and mostly failing to do a simple braiding of their hair, and that was something Marius could fix. He gently twined his fingers into their hair and started doing the simple braid he’d seen when they had woken up that morning.

“Why are you still up? I was just going to drop off some presents and go. Ashes told me you were probably asleep by now.” They leaned into Marius’ chest and let out a soft hum and Marius felt so happy that they trusted him enough to lean back. It was so dumb. They knew he was behind them, he was braiding their hair, but the simple act of being leaned into just made him flush a bit with happiness.

“Just cleaning up. They made me get a lot of clothing today.”

“I heard. Sorry about that, everyone can go a bit overboard.” The other Mechanisms had done that for Marius and Raphaella, when they had joined the crew. But was Lyfrassir joining? Did he realize that that was what they were doing, trying to make a space for him? “And... sorry about the intervention they tried to hold, if that made you uncomfortable.” At least he had shot Jonny’s stupid congratulations on the sex cake. Marius did not know where he had gotten or made one at such short notice, and did not want to know. They hadn’t even had sex, but that didn’t mean jack shit to Jonny!

“Hmm. No, it was mostly amusing.” Lyfrassir stilled, and Marius paused in braiding, wondering if he had done something wrong. “Marius?”

“Yes, Lyf?” They didn’t sound like they were about to say something negative. Marius was an adult. He could be calm about this. Just because he was worrying about Lyfrassir maybe wanting to not hang around didn’t mean that anything had gone wrong.

“You, uh.” Oh no they sounded nervous. Marius tried to make sure that his hands weren’t shaking as he braided their hair. “Did you pick up on any of our... cultural traditions? While you were pirating around the Yggdrasil system?” Marius couldn’t really say that he had! He tries for a nonchalant shrug before remembering that Lyf can’t see the shrug and just finishes off the braid.

“Not really. Not a lot of them.” He’d mainly picked up on their political structure, honestly, although he hadn’t gotten to psychoanalyze any of the leaders like he had in the City. “We mostly did, you know, pirating, and then being a jail cell, and you don’t pick up a lot of cultural influence in a prison cell! Which you would know. Why, what’s up?” Lyf turned around to face Marius, and they looked nervous. Oh no. Marius had somehow proposed marriage. Or insulted Lyfrassir’s parents back ten generations. How had he fucked up?

“There’s, well. No good way to say this? And I should have told you before, but hair braiding is sort of. An intimate thing.” And Marius has just started tangling his hands into Lyfrassir’s hair! How rude of him. Oh, and he’d done it again. This was Lyfrassir breaking up with them because of how free he was with hair braiding, he knew it. Lyfrassir wasn’t even looking at him anymore. “Which I was fine with!” Marius felt the relaxation hit. “I was. I was and am totally fine with you braiding my hair, and I should have brought it up earlier, but your hair is so short that I didn’t think it would be something you would want to do, which was clearly a mistake, and I’m sorry if that’s. Weird, now.”

“Oh! Okay,” Marius was so relieved. Everything was still fine. They had accidentally been doing something very intimate but Lyf was okay with it and based on his expression probably enjoyed it. “I thought maybe I had accidentally offended you.” Lyf looked up at him again and Marius gave them a relieved smile. He was rewarded with Lyfrassir pulling him into a hug, which Marius easily reciprocated, carefully holding Lyf close. They were so comfortable to hug. He could just relax and rest his head on a pillow of Lyfrassir’s hair. He smelled like snickerdoodles. Marius thought about the cupcakes, but figured they would be fine in the morning. Lyf’s topmost hand was almost touching his hair, which reminded him, “I don’t really understand the short hair thing?” Should Marius be growing his hair out longer? Was that important to Lyfrassir? “I just like my hair like this. It’s still fun to play with, I promise. But we, the Mechanisms we, tend to take care of each other when we’re not, you know.”

“Murdering each other?” Marius chuckled into Lyf’s hair. That was probably what it looked like to outsiders, yes.

“Yeah. When we’re not murdering each other. Which is really just stress relief, when we can’t die! But Nastya and I are sort of in demand as hair braiders. You’d think Raphaella with all that hair would be better at it, but she always gets distracted halfway through.” 

“Well. It’s definitely different. It’ll take some getting used to, but that’s good to know. Hm. Communication.”

“Yeah, I’d rather you know now than see me braiding Raph’s hair and think I’m cheating on you or something. Although you should probably also know that we have all fallen in and out of relationships.” And he wasn’t going to elaborate on that anymore unless Lyf asked, that got into way too complicated of a spiderweb relationship. “It happens when you’re the only immortals around and also on a ship together for, you know, milennia at a time. Nastya’s the only one immune to that because she’s a lesbian. And also in a deeply committed relationship with the Aurora, and I love the Aurora but only as the friend who carries us all through space.”

“I don’t want to know how that works. I’m happy for them, but please tell me nothing more.” Marius felt Lyf yawn into his chest, and wanted to pull them in and tighten the hug, but Lyf pulled back and he let them go. “I should go to sleep if I’m supposed to keep up with the lot of you tomorrow.” Marius leaned back in, tightening the hug once again. He wanted to enjoy this while it lasted. They yawned into Marius’ chest again, a soft spot of warmth and trust.

“Yeah, it sounds like you should be getting to bed.” Marius didn’t let go. What if they had another nightmare and he wasn’t there this time? What if they were just left in bed, caught in horror and unable to wake up? “How much sleep do you need? I can wake you up when it’s time. I’m very good at waking up ten to fifteen minutes before when I mean to so that I can mourn the lost sliver of sleeping time. Might be a mechanism side effect, but I can’t exactly ask.” Marius finally couldn’t repress a yawn anymore. Maybe they could cuddle? Keep Lyf company and make sure that they didn’t have any nightmares. “I have been told that I am very nice to wake up to.”

“I’ve got an alarm clock, Marius. It’s on my phone.”

“I was sort of trying to imply we could cuddle?” Marius thinks that it should be entirely illegal of Lyfrassir to look so cute while tired. They’re squinting up at him and clearly considering something. They finally say, through another yawn,

“I think I’d like that. As long as you don’t mind the temperature I keep the Holt. I’m not up to negotiating about the thermostat tonight.” Marius leans down and gently places a kiss on top of Lyf’s head, taking the opportunity to smell the snickerdoodle scent again.

“It’s fine. It’s a bit chilly in here, but cuddles should fix that problem.” Lyfrassir guided them to the bedroom, so tired that his clear attempts at a drag were weak enough that Marius was pretty sure a child wouldn’t have been pulled by them. He throws back the blankets on the bed and sits Marius down, and doesn’t even seem to notice Marius taking off his boots as they flop onto the bed. Marius pulls the covers up, and Lyf snuggles up to them.

“You really are exhausted, huh?” They whine and move closer. “Had the full Ashes and Raph shopping experience.” Their face is pressed into Marius’ chest, and they sling an arm around him, pulling him closer. Marius carefully returns the gesture, not wanting to awaken Lyf, and starts gently rubbing his back. He can feel Lyf relaxing at the motion, and as he joins Lyf in drifting off, he starts to sing. “When I was a little boy my father always told me, ‘Someday your princess will come my love’...”

  
  


Marius woke up to the gentle song of windchimes. He couldn’t place where they were coming from. He was also incredibly warm. He felt a comfortable weight on top of him, and felt Lyf’s groan as they reached into their pocket and pulled out a phone.

“S’that?”

“Phone alarm. Snoozed it. Stay still, you’re comfy.” With a request like that, how could Marius refuse? Lyf was splayed over him, cuddling into his chest and using it as a pillow. This did explain why Marius felt so warm. He had Lyf and the blankets over him. That was cancelling out the chill of the Holt. Marius felt himself getting lulled back to sleep when the windchimes started again, but more insistent, and with a trombone.

“Lyfrassir. Why is there a trombone now.”

“S’a good waking noise. It works.” Lyf rolled off of Marius and almost off the bed, but Marius caught him before that happened. “M’rius. You want me to wake up. Why are you keeping me in bed.”

“Wow, you are not sentient in the mornings, huh?” Lyf leaned back and Marius let him tip back and fall out of the bed. They thudded onto the ground. Marius, personally, thought that did not sound like a great way to wake up, and personally enjoyed just waking up with Lyf. He assumed that Lyf hadn’t had any nightmares, since he hadn’t woken in the middle of the night to horrible rainbow light. Yog-Sothoth really was homophobic for doing that to the rainbow.

Lyf dragged themself to their feet and over to the replicator, and Marius remembered the cupcakes. He went and pulled the cart into the Holt and took out the cupcake bag, before taking the cupcake boxes and putting them on the table. Lyf was staring into their replicator like a zombie stared at brains. And Marius would know, he’d seen something the Mechanisms had all decided to call a zombie. He shoved a cup into the replicator’s mouth and it manifested what smelled like coffee. Lyf chugged the liquid and slid the cup back in. It manifested more definitely-coffee, and Lyf sat down at the table and started sipping it.

“Where did you get cupcakes?” Marius looked at the box and remembered he couldn’t read the weird pictograms in this system.

“I found a bakery that smelled good and went and got cupcakes yesterday. Hopefully they haven’t gone stale.” Lyf shoved half of a cupcake into their mouth and then quickly shoved the rest in. “I don’t? Look, just some quick docting, but I don’t think that’s a healthy breakfast choice. I was going to ask you if you had a fridge or something.” Lyf shook their head and shoved another cupcake into their mouth. Honestly it was kind of impressing how quickly they were inhaling them.

“I didn’t get lunch or dinner yesterday, Marius. I am starving. These are delicious. They are high-calorie. The sugar is going to get me through the day. _Anarchy back away from the cupcakes_.” Anarchy meowed sadly and went back down the table.

“You can ... compel your octokitten.”

“Apparently.” Marius heard sad meows from under the table. “No! I replicated you perfectly decent cat-like food! It has fish! It has meats! I’m certain cupcakes aren’t good for you!” Marius watching Lyfrassir’s face go from hard and glaring to soft, and he passed a cupcake down to Anarchy.

“Did you have a plan for today?” Lyf nodded. “What’re you planning on?”

“I’m going to find a pet supply store and get some octokitten toys. Cat stuff, mostly, and stuff for more intelligent animals, since I’m not really sure how much they’re cat and how much they’re, well, smarter than that.” Anarchy was purring in Lyf’s lap. “Mostly for Anarchy, but I was going to get some for the rest of them. It sounds like they’re mostly using Aurora for enrichment, and that’s not fair to her. I don’t really have anything to carry the toys back in, though.” Lyf frowned. “And I’m not sure where to get a ride, but I can figure that out.” Marius could fix one of those problems! He held up a finger to let Lyf know he would be right back and came back with the duffle bags of protective gear.

“I got some stuff for you yesterday, also! Since you’re travelling with us, and I feel like you would tell me if you were stab-proof,” Lyf nodded.

“I would, yes.”

“So I found a supply store and got you some stuff! Some vests, some pants, some helmets, some gloves, some really nice boots-” Marius thunked the green boots onto the floor- “just, you know, everything you need to hopefully not get shot accidentally if someone forgets that you can die to that.”

“Marius.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you steal all of this?”

“Yeah, it was all from a cop supply store and I frankly don’t think they need it as much as you.” Lyf leaned his forehead onto a nice bullet and stab-proof vest. “Lyf?”

“I do appreciate it. But I’m not quite sure I need all of this?” Marius frowned.

“We’re a pretty impulsive lot, Lyf. I’m sure Raph and Ivy and Brian and Ashes would agree you should wear at least some of it!” Lyf sighed.

“I’m going to burn to death if I wear all of it. I remember when I had to wear full protective gear. Mostly when the three of you wanted to try at breaking out of jail, which I now realize was probably just a fun diversion.”

“Yup! We had a good time figuring out how much chaos we could cause without ever actually escaping.” There had been a lot of planning that went into that. More, once Marius had said he wouldn’t play anymore if they ended up injuring Lyfrassir. Which had made for some interesting and convoluted plans and, he thought, gotten Lyf permanently assigned to the three of them, but he wasn’t sure Lyf had realized that at all.

“I suppose I’ll at least wear the boots. And one of the vests.”

“I knew you would like the boots!” Marius fist-pumped.

“Yes, yes, you were correct.” Lyf shoved a third cupcake into their mouth and Marius decided that he should probably try to get something other than almost full-on sugar into them before they left the ship. He moved in front of the replicator and poked at it. Okay. He couldn’t read any of this, but maybe he could intuit it from the little pictures? Lyfrassir was too busy arguing with Anarchy and trying to keep her away from the cupcake boxes to be of help.

Okay. So maybe... maybe that was bacon? Marius selected what might be the bacon symbol. Cool, he wanted more than one strip, so maybe three pieces of bacon. There were still more symbols. This was maybe oatmeal? It looked like it could be oatmeal? Oh no there were so many options under it. Marius picked some at random and then jabbed what looked like an apple and hit the check mark.

Then he hit the check mark again, and a third time. Wow, this thing really wanted to make sure you knew what you wanted.

It grumbled and began to produce something.

What in space was this? Marius tentatively broke off a piece of the dull brown slab and put it in his mouth before gagging. It tasted like grits that had been flavored with orange juice, dehydrated, salted, and fried. It was nasty. There were apple chunks, and they didn’t deserve that. What had he brought into this world? Lyfrassir plucked it out of his hand and fed it back into the replicator.

“Why did you do that?”

“I thought... it would maybe make bacon and oatmeal with an apple? So that you could have something that wasn’t just sugar?”

“Marius. You picked reheat three times, I don’t even understand what these options were for the oatmeal. You somehow managed to get it fried, and I don’t understand how you did this. There was orange juice in it. There were random apple chunks in it. How? It’s got very clear instructions!”

“I can’t read this language!” Lyf started laughing. “What! I can’t! I just speak! I don’t know the words! I just- my arm lets me know the language in the spoken word, not the written one!”

“Your arm. Translates language.” Lyf flicked his fingers onto Marius’ metal arm. “How does that work?”

“I don’t know, it just does! I don’t ask questions, I just accept that it’s happening and I am glad that we don’t have to translate our songs into multiple different languages.”

“I guess that makes as much sense as anything else about the lot of you. I mean. Metal parts conveying immortality doesn’t make a lot of sense.” Marius shrugged.

“I think Raphaella could probably tell you more. Or Nastya.” Lyf handed Marius a plate that actually had oatmeal and bacon and an apple. “Oh. Thank you. I was trying to make something for you.”

“Well I can teach you how to work the replicator later, and then you can take another go. Or I suppose I could teach you the whole written language, if you want.” Marius perked up. That would take time, right? Lyfrassir wanted to stay around long enough to teach him how to use the replicator, so maybe they were sticking around! So that was a good sign.

“I’d love to learn! Yes! That would be great!” Lyf took another plate from the replicator and sat down at the table.

“If you’re going to complain about me eating, you have to eat as well. Unless you’re implying that your docting pronunciations only apply to me, in which case I will have to call bullshit and ignore them all.” Marius sat down and started sullenly shoving the oatmeal into his mouth. He didn’t even really like oatmeal. It just looked recognizable. But no, now he had to eat the stupid oatmeal so that Lyfrassir would get nutrients that weren’t from cupcakes and coffee.

He wished he could get brown sugar and cinnamon in it. That would be better. He sliced apple chunks into it and that was mildly better. The texture was better, at least. Lyfrassir finished his oatmeal much faster than Marius, and picked up the duffle bags and started emptying them out, before finally putting on one of the vests and one of the sets of boots. They put another, not protective vest over the protective one, and loaded Anarchy into a duffle bag.

“Put the plates back into the replicator when you’re done. I’m going to go get octokitten toys.”

“Do you want me to braid your hair again?” Lyf reached a hand up to their hair and realized that it was still in the braid from last night. They combed their hands through their hair, undoing the braid, and sat down in Marius’ lap.

Marius couldn’t quite handle that. Lyfrassir. In his lap. They nudged him with a shoulder and Marius snapped back to reality and got his hands in Lyfrassir’s hair. He wanted to do something fancier, this time, but Lyfrassir was planning on shopping, and he also wanted the braid to last throughout the day. Marius pulled more sheet music out of his pockets and started forming them into stars.

“Are you making stars again?”

“Mm-hm. I should get colored paper so that I can get nice colors in your hair. The white stands out nicely, but it could look better and I am going to do that for you.” Marius started a french braid, occasionally placing a paper star into Lyf’s hair. They leaned into Marius’ chest, and hummed a tune he did not recognize. Marius finished up and Lyf’s face turned up to his and Lyf’s hands pulled Marius’ face down and they were kissing again.

Lyf’s mouth still tasted like porridge, but Marius was willing to overlook that as he leaned into the kiss, deepening it and moaning into Lyfrassir’s mouth and their hands twisted into his hair and pulled gently. Lyfrassir pulled away before Marius’ vision started to grey, and pecked him on the lips before standing up and picking up the duffle bags. Marius whined and leaned after Lyfrassir.

“I do actually have a schedule for today, Marius. I’ll email it to you. You’ll like it, I’ve got an hour blocked off tonight for making out. Can you hold your breath that long?” Lyfrassir breezed out the door before Marius could form a coherent response besides a longer whine.

“An _hour_?” Marius pulled up the medical information from the Yggdrasil system. “They can hold their breath for _how_ long?” Marius carefully leaned his forehead onto the nice, cool table. The nice cool metal table that could hopefully absorb all the flush from his face before he had to leave and actually get shit done today.

He could probably streamline everything so that he got back early, right? Maybe if he looked at Lyfrassir’s schedule he could make it go faster? That would free up time for Lyfrassir to spend with him, right? They might appreciate it, also. This was a great plan. He just needed some time to calm down. Just a few minutes changing which part of the table he pressed his face into to get the cooling effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> animal crossing is coming out so like F to my updates but we'll see! how it goes!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anarchy gets cat toys & cops don't get an F in chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter gets a bit heavy! Please note the following tws, and if you've got to skip this chapter feel free, I understand! If you want to read up until it gets heavy, cut out at the line "Lyf took a sip from their coffee thermos. They would be the absolute last to admit it, but it was probably a sullen sip."
> 
> TW: Police overreach, government-sanctioned kidnapping, inappropriate use of power (by govt & police), police brutality, some torture (sensory overwhelming & electricity), graphic murder with dismemberment

Lyfrassir went looking to find a ride to a pet supply shop, hoping that even with Anarchy wrapped around his shoulders like a vaguely liquid scarf, meeping and murping at anyone who looked at her closely, someone would be willing to take them. The people in the town seemed mostly thankful for the binder of plans and explanations, and would hopefully be willing to ignore any oddities that Lyf might’ve picked up, such as their new therapy cat. Anarchy definitely wasn’t a trained therapy cat, but who was going to train an octokitten? Lyf made a mental note to see if there were any books on how to train cats or octopi they could purchase before the Mechs left the planet. They weren’t a qualified trainer, but having the books was probably better than nothing.

Anarchy was already very smart and very good at calming Lyf down and snapping Lyf out of things, so she probably didn’t need a lot of help, all things considered, but getting her some training could be good and maybe get her to stop begging cupcakes off of him so successfully. Or more probably she would get smarter about wheedling cupcakes off of him. Maybe she didn’t need that much power! But Lyfrassir was still going to get the books and hope that it worked out more in their favour than in Anarchy’s.

He walked up to the blue postal building, and found someone working there who appeared to be desperately trying to avoid work by chewing gum and holding up an unlit cigarette in the vague direction of their mouth whenever someone got close. That seemed like a pretty good bet to them, so they sidled up.

“Do you have a car?” They blinked at them and put the unlit cigarette down.

“Sorry dude, what?”

“Transportation? I just was hoping to get some pet supplies and since I made the map for this town I know there’s nowhere here to get any right now.” They leaned forward and Lyf saw a pronoun pin. Great, that was always helpful. “If you can’t, do you know someone who can help me?”

“Didn’t one of the space pirates just jack a car the other day? Couldn’t you just ask one of them? ‘Cause no offense but Harold was yelling about you and I do not want to get on his bad side. Dude’s got a spiked stick up his ass about you and the pirates, and I don’t want to get involved.” She blew a bubble.

“Can I just pay you to do it? I literally recommended that Harold and his lot go nowhere near here and yet, here they all are, presumably undercover if things haven’t devolved into a shoot-out by now.” The bubble popped when she snorted.

“Ah, fuck,” she clawed the gum off of her face and threw it into the trash. “You’ve not seen something funny until you’ve seen a bunch of cops trying to fit in with artists who are all wearing different styles and shit. They’re all scattered around town doing their best. Which is absolute shit. So you just want to go to a pet supply store for your weird space cat?” Lyf nodded.

“They don’t have any toys on their ship. It’s just a load of strange and feral space cat octopus hybrids who don’t have anything to do except antagonize each other and the passengers.” Anarchy bumped their chin. “She’s actually been very nice now that she’s getting attention and me playing with her. So I want to get her some toys, and some extra things for the rest of them.”

“Hah. Yeah, alright, you wanna get in a van so you can load a lot of shit in there?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. You won’t get in trouble?” She shrugged.

“I’m on break, and I could take an opportunity to stick it to the cops. I’ll just say a few vendors asked me for shit and I went out to get it and everyone will be glad that they’re not the ones driving it. You got any of those teeth, though? They look neat as _shit._ ”

“Uhm. I should have some?” Lyf dug through his shoulder bag and found the disembarking bag. Digging through that revealed- ah, right, the gun.

“Oh shit, they gave you a gun?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m not legally supposed to have it but also I feel like if I leave it behind they’ll find out and get upset?”

“Hah, neat, I love it. Why’s it got cogs and shit glued on?”

“I think for the aesthetic.” Lyf finally dug out some of the teeth. “How many do you want?”

“You got a molar or a canid?” Lyf rolled the teeth out into their palm. “Oh hell yeah. I’ll take a canid for the drive there and a molar for the drive back.” She plucked the teeth out of his hand and dropped them into one of her coat pockets. “Cool. You wanna hear the gossip while we drive?” She started walking away and Lyf followed.

“Uh, gossip about what? Me? The Mechanisms? All of this?”

“Most of the gossip right now is actually about how you just quit stone-cold like that. After decades! Most of us at the lower levels have dreamed about but after _decades_ you were sort of like, the legend. Did your job, did it well, didn’t ever accept promotions, barely took vacations. I think most of us thought that you were an automaton?” She flings open the door to a parked van and hops in. “Get in, I’ll unlock it.” Lyf gets into the passenger seat.

“If your civilization was destroyed, you’d want to coast in your profession for a bit too. Besides, I was making enough money, so who cared besides the people that kept on trying to promote me.”

“Fair enough, dude! But you have to get the basis for the gossip, right? I can’t just jump in in case you don’t know anything, you gotta have the rumor _foundation_ or the whole thing will come crumbling down like a weird house of cards.” She thumbed at a biosensor and the van rumbled to life. Lyf wasn’t sure where she pulled it from, but she pulled out another piece of gum and started chewing. “Sorry, nervous habit. So you absorbed all of that?”

“Yeah, I’ve absorbed all of it. I guess it’s fair. I just didn’t realize that my coworkers had such strong feelings about the matter when I didn’t even talk to them.”

“Yeah dude, no one knew jack shit about you, and we all pulled _hard_ on the rumor mill to find things out. You’re still pretty fuckin’ mysterious, and that’s saying something for a group of people that were all about finding,” she waved a hand around, “you know, aliens and shit that aren’t just humans from out of system.” Lyf wondered if their anatomy technically qualified them for that status, but she was continuing. “That’s pretty much all we got, though! So, anyways, yeah. Then the space pirates come into the system and apparently you threw the closest thing to a shitfit anyone had ever seen from you.” Lyf straightened up in their seat, indignant. It wasn’t a shitfit! It was a perfectly reasonable reaction to being assigned to corral the Mechanisms!

“I was very polite.”

“Yeah, well, no one had heard you raise your voice before, bud. So it was pretty dramatic. And then your computer started playing music and you just walked out and started chugging coffee at work and coming in late and everyone kind of thought you’d been replaced by a doppelgänger that thought that you acted like every other normal office worker.”

“Hmmmm....” Lyf tucked his thermos of coffee back into his shoulder bag.

“You can’t live on coffee dude, keep that down. Limit yourself to like a cup an hour. I have a friend whose husband is a doctor and that’s what he says.”

“My liver is better than yours.”

“Does- does the liver have anything to do with coffee processing?” She was staring at them.

“I don’t know. I’m not a doctor. I could ask a doctor, if you want. Keep your eyes on the road.”

“I turned on auto-pilot for the nearest open animal supply store, so we’re fine. Anyways. So all that happens. The space pirates actually arrive and it turns out that you weren’t exaggerating, which, not gonna lie, people kind of thought maybe you had just never had fun before! But you were right, and you had dealt with them before and survived, so that did make you kind of badass. Then you just disappear after the concert, and everyone thought that maybe you had gotten kidnapped but your ship was also gone so who knew, and then you were out of contact, and that was real wild, dude. The rumor mill did a lot of work for those few days.” Lyfrassir groaned and laid their head on the dash of the car. “That’s not safe. Also, I do wanna hear you ask your doctor friend this.” Lyf got out their phone.

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

Hey

**Doctor McAlister:**

Is this about you getting kidnapped. If this is your captors, please let them go, they are a medical nightmare you don’t want to handle.

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

I didn’t get kidnapped! It is my job right now to - well. I quit. That’s not important. Was is important is I need you to tell me if coffee is metabolized or anything in the liver.

**Doctor McAlister:**

Yes. Have you taken multiple decades to realize that your system probably made horrendously strong coffee in order to get any effect from it?

If so

LOL

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

>:\ you’re the worst

**Doctor McAlister:**

I’m retired and I don’t have to be professional.

Do the space pirates also have weird anatomy?

If so I will come out of retirement to write another paper.

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

I don’t know and I’m not asking.

**Doctor McAlister:**

Wait you quit your fucking job?

**Lyfrassir Edda:**

Whoops! I have to go! Mechanisms causing mischief!

They tucked their phone into their lap after showing- oh jeez. They didn’t know her name. But they showed her that McAlister said that yes, the liver did matter to processing coffee. While carefully covering up the bit where McAlister realized that Lyfrassir hadn’t realized why they had to drink so much of this system’s coffee to get the same effect.

“Damn. Fine, drink your coffee I guess.” It was Asgardian coffee since it was from the replicator. Lyfrassir left it in their bag. That did explain why he had only needed two cups this morning. “So yeah. You’re gone, who-knows-where since your ship is from out of system, the pirates are also gone and the one time we tried getting a ship close we saw them shooting at large rocks so we left there pretty quick.” Her brow wrinkles. “I wasn’t there. I’m just speaking generally. Clarifying comment. So yeah all that happens. You finally answer your phone but it’s not you, it’s a space pirate, and then he gets shot at a lot after failing to hang up the phone? Which doesn’t really make sense because none of them seem like they’re in mourning and I think in a tight-knit band like that they would be in mourning so maybe that’s exaggeration? I don’t think the human body can actually continue after double-digits of gunshots unless you’ve got a hospital right there.” Lyf hummed, neither confirming nor denying. No point in just telling people the Mechanisms were immortal.

“Yes, from the outside I can see it looking quite ridiculous. Well. It didn’t make sense to waste fuel, so I decided to go with them.” And he would’ve, even if there hadn’t been a weird eldritch meltdown, so that could be presented as fact. “I didn’t answer my phone because I was asleep first, and then because I was actually talking to them to update my plans of action and had my work phone on silent so that it wouldn’t get shot. I can’t explain Marius.”

“Marius?”

“The one that answered my phone. I believe he did it because I was on the other side of the ship, and one of the crew members was annoyed at the phone making noise. So Marius went in to prevent my phone getting shot, which was fairly polite of him. And then the next day, Miller basically asked if I was experiencing Stockholm Syndrome and/or if I was kidnapped, wouldn’t take my word for it when I said that I was fine and this was just how they were, and apparently ignored my updates about the gilded teeth.” Their audience was riveted, looking at them like if she just looked long enough the secrets of the universe would be revealed. “All of this, despite assigning me to them against my wishes and protests and telling me that as the one with experience I was the only one who could handle them!”

“Hmmm. Yeah, that was a bad assignment. I heard she was getting pressured, but still, that’s shit to do to you. She’s supposed to be the one who makes sure her subordinates don’t get thrown under the bus.”

“Sorry, what’s your name, by the way?”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry, I just knew yours- it’s Fiona. Anyways, yeah, that sounds like a shit fucking situation to put you in and then decide not to trust you in. We pretty much all heard the confrontation in her cubicle. Pretty badass, dude.”

“I was just fed up, is all.” Fiona popped a bubble.

“Still. I think everyone’s been in a job where they wished they could do that. What’re you going to do now, though?” Lyf shrugged.

“Finish out the job, even if I’m fired, since I really don’t trust anyone else to do it. Once the Mechanisms are off tour, who knows. I have the money to retire to a beach house.” They could stay with the Mechanisms. Lyfrassir wasn’t sure if that was really an option, if they’d be accepted, and they didn’t want to be on the Aurora and just thought of as Marius’ datemate, we put up with them for Marius’ sake, they couldn’t take that for years and decades and who knew how long. 

Lyfrassir leaned their face against the window, relishing the slight chill. Fiona had gone back to looking at the road and her own phone, which was nice and sensitive of her. Did Marius even view the two of them as dating? They’d mentioned the intimacy of hair braiding and Marius had still done it, so maybe he did want this to be something more? But on the other hand, Marius had no real context for that, and maybe didn’t fully understand it, and maybe this was just a fling. A thing for this system. That was a thing that bands did, Lyfrassir vaguely understood. Or at least they had in the Yggdrasil system, he really hadn’t gone to any performances since the Bifrost. Maybe that wasn’t a thing, here. Still, the Mechanisms did go to a lot of systems. They seemed a fairly insular group, though. Lyf really didn’t know what to think.

They should probably just ask Marius. If he wanted an in-system quick fling, then Lyf could adjust their expectations and - live with it. Go live on a beach house for a few decades afterwards to make sure that they wouldn’t be able to follow the Mechanisms and then go explore the stars on their own. They’d been shaken out of their routine, and now they wanted something, wanted more, wanted to explore and see and do and maybe this hunger had always been there and maybe it had just been planted there even before the Bifrost and sated by being in the Transport Police and being able to learn and hear and know stories from beyond. Knowing what they did now about Yog-Sothoth, they wondered how early it had reached out to him, from the Bifrost stations, defunct in the sky. How much of their personality was even _theirs_. Anarchy was a comforting anchor keeping Lyf in the van, and he felt a headache building in the back of his head the way it did whenever the contemplation went on too long, a warning and a reminder. The van gently rolled to a halt.

“We’re here, dude.” The shop’s façade was painted bright and cheerful and rainbow and Lyfrassir wanted sunglasses so badly. Maybe if he asked nicely Ashes would get them some. They seemed like the type to have strong opinions on good sunglasses, and they already knew his whole damn wardrobe by percentage. “Big ol’ pet store. Well, they don’t sell the actual pets, but anything you could want to do with pets. Let’s grab some carts, yeah?”

“Oh. You don’t mind?”

“Dude, I’m gonna be the top of the rumor period for a long time, the least I can do is repay you with some basic fuckin’ help. Just point out what you’re looking to get and we’ll get it in the van. We can probably even fit a third trip if you don’t get anything too big.”

“Well. Alright, then, let me just- Anarchy. Did you absorb my phone?” Anarchy licked Lyf’s nose as they held her up to look into her eyes. “Anarchy. I need that back eventually.” She meowed. “Fine.” She wrapped herself around his shoulders and Lyf resigned himself to having to check and see if Anarchy was vibrating with notifications occasionally. 

So Lyfrassir let themself settle into amicable conversation as they went through and picked up cat toys. There were cat trees, which they got a few different types of, figuring the design was pretty easily replicable in the ship, a jar of catnip to add to the replicator, and so many feather toys and laser pointers and ball-rolling things that Lyfrassir didn’t even know the names for. Cat tunnels and exercise wheels and scratching posts and items that Anarchy went crazy over that Lyfrassir thought looked almost more incomprehensible than the twisted wreck of the Ratatosk Express. Only almost, though.

They probably weren’t summoning eldritch things beyond comprehension to use in building cat toys. That would be a horrible business decision. Still, Lyf decided that they would do a browse of pursuits other than scientific in system for now on. Maybe it was considered economical to summon cat toys from the Bifrost. They certainly wouldn’t have thought it was reasonable for a train, so they probably weren’t the best to judge where people would use something like that.

By the time the shopping was done and everything was loaded, it had begun to rain. Lyfrassir was pretty sure if there was a profession that could reasonably require eldritch knowledge it was weather forecasters, who were never quite accurate, or only in overarching terms, which they _knew_ was impressive enough when you considered the millions of variables involved in weather prediction, but it would’ve been nice if there had been some warning of this instead of a 10% chance of light showers in the evening.

Lyf and Fiona were soaked, but at least they were in the dry and warm van now.

“Do you wanna duck into a café or something and wait for this to end? It’ll be hellish unloading all this into that ship. Rain-slick ramps, ugh.” Lyf checked the new forecast on his phone.

“It’s supposed to keep on going for a few hours. I don’t really want to be that far away from the potential chaos-causers for that long.” Lyf sighed. “I’m certain that they have already caused a lot of terror back there and while to a certain extent that’s unavoidable I’d still appreciate being able to do some amount of damage control for them.” Lyf grimaced. “Well, they don’t care, so not really for them, but you understand. Maybe we could pick up a meal?”

“Yeah, I getcha dude. Alright. Heated seats on, autopilot started for an area with a lot of restaurants, we are good to go.” Fiona started to sprawl out and then got poked by a box. “You got a lot of shit. Did they give you that gold bar?”

“They did, although I’m not sure why. I got this whole disembarking bag and no explanation except that they all got one. I don’t know why this means I got one. Or why it has a gun and more ammo than I think the rest of them got.”

“Aw, they must like you! Or at least tolerate you enough to include you in group activities.” Lyf blinked. “Hah, is that not obvious? They haven’t really been following your plan, but they have mostly kept their chaos to one location. I think that means they like you!”

“Hmmm.”

“Aw, are you recontextualizing things?”

“No. I’m considering how to explain the fact that the lot of them have no morals and I’m not sure that people who are im- who meet so many other people-” great phrasing around the word immortal, Lyfrassir- “can. Necessarily form bonds with people that they’re not going to be seeing when they leave.” Who might die. Lyf took a sip from their coffee thermos. They would be the absolute last to admit it, but it was probably a sullen sip.

“Well, at least they like having you around right now.” Fiona leaned over and squinted at the rear-view mirror. “Hey, that’s a police car. Think your space pirates got into some mischief in town?” Lyf groaned and chugged the rest of their coffee thermos. “Dude. Impressive. Were you in your college’s chug team?”

“I don’t know what that is. And they better not be headed towards the Mechanisms. They’ll just get killed.” Lyf leaned their forehead against the window. The headache that had almost left them after thinking about Yog-Sothoth was returning with a vengeance. Wait. This wasn’t his actual responsibility any more. They wouldn’t have to do _any_ paperwork if the Mechanisms did end up killing people. Still. They probably didn’t deserve to die just because Paris Harold was an absolute dickhead. For all Lyf knew they were all dickheads.

Fiona and Lyf watched the cop car in the rear view mirror.

“Shouldn’t they have passed us by now? It’s not like we’re going fast, and they should be if there’s an emergency.”

“I don’t even think this is the right route for them to be taking if they’re, you know, actually heading there. Maybe they also want to get some lunch?” Fiona frowned up at the mirror. “I’m not an expert on these roads, but I’m pretty sure this is out of the way.”

“I... hm. Well. Nothing we can do about it. Fiona, would you like to pet Anarchy?” She was napping on Lyfrassir’s nap, but they were pretty sure she’d like to meet a new person. Fiona’s eyes widened.

“Oh if I could that would be amazing. She looks so soft.” Lyf gently moved Anarchy from his lap to Fiona’s. “Oh...” Fiona gently stroked Anarchy, who was quite happy to melt into another lap and enjoy her rightful due. “She is so soft...”

“She is.” The van slowed to a stop outside a grouping of restaurants.

“Oh... I don’t want to make her move...”

“You don’t have to. I do have actual, not gold bar money, if you give me your order I can just go pick it up.”

“You sure?” Fiona looked between Anarchy in her lap and Lyf. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to put you out, and I’m sure she’s used to you walking around...”

“No, there’s no point in both of us getting wet again. What do you want?” Fiona gave Lyf her order and Lyf left the van. The police car had parked nearby. Lyfrassir watched out the corner of their eye as they were watched by the police. Was that even the police? The uniform was all wrong, they were pretty sure, and they weren’t _sure_ but they were pretty sure that that car wasn’t even quite right to be a police car. They didn’t really look closely at police cars. But the model was slightly off, and the paint was wrong, and Lyfrassir really didn’t like this.

Ordering the food went smoothly, at least, but the theoretical cops didn’t get out of their car. The two of them just watched Lyfrassir. They weren’t even being subtle about it. Lyf sighed and considered how much they wanted to avoid a confrontation with Paris. A lot, but they also didn’t want whoever those two were following them into town, where the Mechanisms could get involved. Hard choices. Lyf checked to make sure that Fiona couldn’t see him and went and knocked on the window. The ass in the passenger seat rolled it down.

“Are you both here because Paris wants to yell at me, or is this a separate investigation? And in either case, why are you ignoring my very clear directives that no one official in police or military or ... whatever the two of you should be within a 2 settlement radius of the Mechanisms?”

“Alright, smartass. Get in the car. Harold wants to see you.” The ass unlocked the car. Lyf considered talking to Fiona about this, and made the executive decision that they really didn’t want to get her involved and also then Anarchy might get upset, which would upset them, and then maybe also upset Fiona, and there was _no_ way they were going to do that. Oh, but the food. And the cat toys.

“Let me just drop off the food first. I’ll be right back.” Lyf went back over to the van and opened the door. “Fiona?”

“Yeah? Got the food alright?”

“Yes, but Harold wants to talk to me. If you could leave the cat toys near the Aurora, and Anarchy, that would be very nice of you. If you see a Mechanism wandering around in a stupid outfit, and with a metal arm, that’s probably Marius. Or if you see the one that’s all metal, that’s Brian. Who else... The woman in the long coat who keeps on messing with electronic systems is Nastya. One of them is probably the best bet if you wanted to tell anyone where I’ve gone. I should be back by night time, unless Harold is an idiot. Hope you don’t get in trouble.” Fiona gaped at him.

“You can’t just _go_ with the police! That’s not how it works!” Lyf sighed.

“I’m pretty sure they’re not actually police and I don’t want them to get in a shootout in town with the Mechanisms, so. Rather not have that on my conscience.”

“Still! I’m up for a car chase! Just get in and let’s go!” Lyf frowned.

“That just gets you definitely in trouble with the maybe not police. So no. I’ll handle it, thanks. I highly doubt they want to do more than illegally detain and question me about the Mechanisms, their travels, what they do, their ship...” Lyf shrugged. “You know. All of that. Maybe they’ll toss in some stuff about my system again. That was pretty normal, the first decade here, and then I think they got tired of it.”

“Dude. It took a decade of complaints to get them to back off?” Lyf frowned.

“Complaints? No, what good would that have done? I am pretty sure they just got bored.”

“... Did you not have like, complaints? At your home?”

“I... don’t understand. You just try not to get noticed and move on.” Lyf really didn’t understand the look of horror on Fiona’s face. Everything had gotten better when Odin had disappeared, for a good eighty years. Almost no mysterious disappearances, which their parents had been very grateful for whenever Lyf had rebelled as teenagers did. The amount of people who were arrested on completely trumped-up charges had dropped almost 50%, the transport police had actually formed so that you couldn’t just smuggle whatever you wanted whenever you wanted, at least not without navigating the extremely complex bribe system, and Odin and her nobles had taken all of the weird, actually probably Bifrost-related now that Lyf thought it, sticks that warped people’s brains. So things had been really good. Complaining would have just brought attention that you didn’t want to deal with.

There was no good way to give a multiple-decade history lesson in a minute, so Lyf settled for dumping the bag with Fiona’s food on the passenger seat, grabbing their shoulder bag, and heading back over to the counterfeit cop car, where he got in and started eating his sandwich.

They watched the two not-really-cops give each other weird looks. How did people normally react to extra-judicial kidnappings in this system? They’d never had it happen here, but their parents had always been very clear about how to handle it if it happened, and one of the good things to do was to try to get a meal and some drink ahead of time, and Lyf wasn’t about to dishonor their memory by not following their advice. Besides, it was a really good sandwich, and they were going to get in their time while they were weirdly not being interrogated. They’d only brought two not-a-cops, as well, which was sort of insulting, but Lyf would go along with it to avoid getting the Mechanisms involved. Hm. There weren’t even restraints back here.

Lyf sipped at their drink and watched the scenery go by. This was getting _really_ weird. Normally they’d expect a black bag over the head already. Hm. Wait. Anarchy still had their phone. That was annoying, they wouldn’t be able to reassure anyone that they were alright and not to worry. And was going to be pretty bad for everyone in the building, probably, when Lyf was missed later that night, but that’s why you always made sure that someone else had a copy of your schedule. Lyf sighed. This was honestly the most incompetent kidnapping they had ever seen. Maybe they should write a paper on it for Harold? That could be a really good dressing-down situation, and Harold probably wouldn’t even stop them. He seemed like exactly the sort of asshole who wouldn’t know how to take control of a room. Lyf let out another, deeper sigh. Maybe they could just punch their way out of the building. No one ever expected it here. It was possible they were all just very law-abiding.

“Stop sighing on your way to get interrogated!”

“Oh, no torture on the list? I feel insulted. You think I can just get cross-examined and give up anything I know? Please. I don’t know what sort of training you lot get, but in the Transport Police, we held each other to much higher standards than that.” The two not-a-cops looked at each other and looked very confused and slightly frightened. Lyf’s estimation of them plummeted. He hadn’t even gotten started on demoralizing them and they were already frightened? Lyf decided that it wasn’t their job to educate those two and resolved to remain silent until the end of the ride.

They still made faces at the not-a-cops in the mirror every time they looked back. Immature? Yes. But they needed to have fun somehow, and this was one way to do it.

They were getting really bored in this room. The two not-a-cops had marched them in here, but forgotten to get rid of their shoulder bag or their drink, so Lyfrassir technically had a gun right now that hadn’t even gotten clocked. This was an impressive display of incompetence. Lyf wasn’t quite sure, because they had left their phone in Anarchy, but it had probably been a few hours. If they were Harold, and incompetent, they’d probably be coming in to try and interrogate them right about now.

The door opened and Lyf mentally tallied a point on their side of the board. They had already mentally written the paper making fun of the failures in training and procedure and were looking forward to adding to this a breakdown of Harold’s personal failings. Of which there were definitely many, and right up there was not listening to the expert in a given situation, _Harold, or maybe whatever you’ve brought me in here to talk about wouldn’t’ve happened_. Lyf reigned in their emotions. They weren’t going to compel Paris Harold. That would be a bad idea, probably, no matter how successful it was, and how satisfying it would be.

“Why do you still have your drink?” Lyf pulled the straw up so that it was getting partially air and made a horrible sucking noise. “Stop that.” Lyf continued. “Stop that!” Lyf raised an eyebrow and continued. “Edda, you are in a great deal of trouble, so stop that right now!” Lyf put their drink down but did not release their grip on it.

“I don’t know Harold, am I? This was pretty embarrassing. There was no attempt to prevent me from seeing where I was brought, you only sent two assholes to handle me, which is kind of offensive but also I didn’t really want to cause trouble in case it drew attention that could lead to a shootout so you got lucky there. No one’s tried to handcuff me. No one’s taken anything from me. Look, there’s handcuffs right there on the table. And yet.” Lyf waved their arms around exaggeratedly. “My hands are free. Do you train your people, or just sort of roll a dice and send whoever has that number out? It’s pretty shit, is the point I’m trying to make here.” Harold sat down in the chair across from Lyf. Rookie mistake, now he had mentally and physically put them on the same level.

“Please stop talking.”

“So you don’t want to learn anything I know? I can do that for you.”

“I don’t think you understand how much trouble you’re in, Edda. Despite quitting your job- most unprofessionally, I might add-”

“Hey, I wrote a great letter of resignation.” Harold’s eye had already developed a twitch. Lyfrassir wished they could feel proud about that.

“One of the ‘Mechanisms’-” oh no he actually did finger quotes who actually did that- “killed a number of my best people yesterday, and a number of the riot squad, and some of the military. Do you have anything to say to that?” Lyf leaned back in their chair and raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not responsible for them, and none of them have been out of the two-settlement radius or I would’ve seen it on the news, so it’s all your fault and those deaths are on your hands? It’s in the binder.” Lyf slurped at their drink again. “You’ve got undercover cops working in the town which is already horrible enough, but frankly I think the Mechs might just find it morbidly amusing watching them be bad at blending in.”

“Edda, almost fifty people died! Why are you taking this so- so lightly?” Lyf sighed.

“Because, Harold, some of us have learned to compartmentalize so that during interrogations we don’t become unduly emotional and compromise the information we get out of the person we’re interrogating. Who did the murders?”

“You can just compartmentalize that maniac of a badly-dressed space pirate murdering innocent people outside of a metal supply depot?”

“Oh, it was Von Raum. That does explain the changed outfit. Frankly? Yes. I’ll be slightly pissed at Von Raum later, but to be honest, you’re still the one that caused their deaths. I warned you. I warned you multiple times. I’m sure that your officers were either not given all the information, or were given misinformation. What do you want me to do, cry and wring my hands because an op went bad? Do you _know_ the number of stings I saw go badly in the Transport Police?” Lyf obnoxiously slurped at their drink again. “Also, the longer you keep me here, the more likely I’ll be missed. I honestly cannot say what will happen then.” Harold stormed out of the interrogation room. Lyf put their feet up on the table and decided to take a little nap. No idea how long they’d be kept here, after all.

They didn’t even get to sleep before the two same not-a-cops that Harold had sent to pick them up came into the room. They stood, probably looking intimidating if Lyf gave a shit, and cracked their knuckles. Lyf sighed and put his feet back on the floor.

“Is this the two of you telling me that you’re going to beat me up? It’s more effective if you detail what you’re going to do a little before you do it, so that the person you’re trying to, frankly, torture, has to juggle both processing the pain and the anticipation of what’s going to happen next. This really doesn’t do anything, just cracking your knuckles. Yes, you’ve got muscle, what’s the point?” Also, it’s not like they’d brought any sharp instruments in or anything, so they very clearly were going to try and not permanently damage Lyf. It just wasn’t very intimidating. 

When they were done, Lyf had bruises, but no broken bones, and the two goons, as Lyf had downgraded them to, were crying a little bit. Lyf hadn’t really held back on tearing into their technique and what it probably said about their personal lives and trouble, but how were they to know that they both had gigantic inferiority syndromes? Well, easily, but still. No one here had done any training on how to resist psychological tear-down techniques at all. They left the room, and Lyf put their feet back up to take a nap.

This time they did get to sleep, but sadly, they were pretty sure the nap hadn’t lasted very long when Harold came back in. Maybe they had all gotten the memo about not allowing the person you were trying to interrogate any rest? It had only been sent around mentally, but still. He looked a bit red around the eyes, and also had taken off his suit jacket and was now just in a vest and rolled up shirtsleeves. Lyf was pretty sure this was supposed to be intimidating, given that they could now see that he had a gun in both bullet and stun varieties. Mostly Lyf could just tell that he didn’t work out, which meant that when he tried to punch Lyf, he definitely broke a few fingers. That was going to bruise! But who punched someone on the cheekbone? That was the worst place to punch someone. And his form was all wrong.

“Are you going to leave again to get those splinted? They don’t look-” agh. Right across the mouth. Alright, that did hurt. Lyf probed the cut in their mouth with their tongue. Yup, that was going to sting for a bit. Harold still didn’t get any points for that though.

“Why didn’t you include, in that little binder of information, that the Mechanisms can’t be killed?” Lyf raised an eyebrow. Marius had gotten himself killed killing badly trained cops? Did he just not care to try and avoid the injuries, or was Lyf going to have to try and teach him some sort of basic defensive maneuvering?

“I didn’t know, that’s why. I didn’t find out that they were immortal until very recently, and it’s not like anyone was listening to my updates.” It’s also not like Lyfrassir thought it was a great idea to let anyone know that. Damn. Why would the Mechanisms be so blasé about people finding that out? Lyf was still surprised he hadn’t been experimented on besides very non-invasive tests to figure out his baselines. If someone thought they could get immortality... “Anyways, how was I to know if that meant that as in immortal even when injured versus living for a very long time? There’s no reason for me to tell you anything.” Lyf smiled up at Harold, and enjoyed his taken-aback expression at the bloody smile. “Tell me. Have they found out I’m gone, yet?” Harold flinched.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“So they do know! Fun. What’s your plan, then, Harold? Because you’ve got less than a day and I was part of the Transport Police and you’re not getting anything out of me with less than two. Honestly, given that this is a matter of principle now, I’m going to say it’ll take you at least four days. _So try me, I dare you._ ” And Lyf remembered too late that they couldn’t be emphatic without being careful, and Harold glared, and Lyfrassir had enough time to realize that Harold had been holding in a lot of anger and wasn’t any more before they had to duck and cover.

Lyf really wished that Harold hadn’t turned on the strobe lights. It was already hard to see through blood from cuts running into their eyes. The stars that Marius had placed in his braids had fallen into the pools of it. Under the strobes now, they almost looked lost in rainbow fields. They’d lost all track of time, and there was too much visual input, and they could barely even see Harold anymore, could barely track him, the overwhelming input of the strobe light’s IR and UV and just normal wavelength right dizzying them and making them want to vomit. They haven’t, yet, but if this keeps up, it’s just a matter of time. _Fuck_ strobe lights. If they couldn’t see Harold, they couldn’t predict what was going to happen next, couldn’t prepare and lean away and. Lyf wasn’t sure how much blood they were supposed to have in their body. That had never been their job, this wasn’t what they did, they didn’t know. But he didn’t trust Harold to know either, to know when to stop, because you can’t get information out of a dead person, but they’re pretty sure that’s not the goal any more, the goal is just to make them hurt, but they’re not one of the Mechanisms, they don’t heal they won’t come back there’s no way to make them experience the same pain as the people who died yesterday. Lyf still understands that. They’re not sure that Harold does.

Lyf’s fallen back on their training, in lieu of being able to do anything else- no badmouthing anymore, although Harold did break to have a cry (again?) before coming back with the light set-up that shut Lyf up, so Lyf thought that was alright. They were still winning. They just focused on not speaking. It was harder than most people assumed- if you started whining, or groaning, sighing or whimpering it was so easy for the parts of your brain that just wanted this to stop to take over and then next thing you knew you had spilled your guts. Lyf was thinking about it, though. They could say something. Harold was leaning over them and he had a stun gun. Lyf recognized the model. Lyf had _said_ to themself they wouldn’t compel, they’d said, they’d said, they’d said that for a reason, they were sure of it they knew it there had to be a reason and maybe he would remember it when the stun gun clicked off, but they couldn’t remember anything right now except don’t talk don’t talk don’t talk _don’t talk Lyfrassir Edda don’t do it it was important you can’t do it don’t_ **_talk_**.

They should’ve tested this system’s stun guns on themself they should have and then they would have known the electricity is different the electricity is wrong it’s sizzling through their bones still minutes after Harold’s turned it off, he’s monologuing above them and Lyfrassir can’t even process it only feel the electricity very very slowly leaving in jerks and starts, sparking about Lyf’s skin, and Lyf _hurts_ but they said they wouldn’t talk and they won’t, they try to decide if the tap-tap-tap of their blood onto the floor counts as a form of morse code before realizing it’s not saying anything anyways, it doesn’t count, it’s fine. They haven’t failed. Harold depresses the trigger on the stun gun again. He had probably asked a question. Lyfrassir can’t hear anything right now except the hum of the stun gun and the high-pitched whine of the strobes, and instead of locking up, Lyfrassir’s body convulses, faster than they had been yet, and they do at least manage to get their vomit right onto Harold’s shirt, he shouldn’t have leaned down, and he leaves to change his shirt muttering about how disgusting Lyfrassir is and they are limp on the floor and they hurt. All they can feel is hurt and a migraine and all they can hear is the whispers in their ears. Their stars are soaked in rainbow blood.

They’ve had enough of this. Harold hasn’t even gotten a word out of them, he’s so _fucking_ incompetent and it’s only because their biology is different that anything has worked at all, he doesn’t deserve to have caused any of this distress, and their shoulder bag is still _right there,_ just out of reach but Harold hasn’t done more than fractured their bones, really, and they’ve moved on worse, and Lyfrassir has had _enough_ , their blood is twisting into rainbow smoke rising off of them and evaporating into the air, clouding the lights long enough that they can pull themselves over and reach into the bag and use one blood-slick rainbow-slick hand to load the gun, the gift from Ashes, they would have to remember to thank them, and Harold bursts back in still covered in vomit and with another strobe, stronger this time, able to burn through the haze and Lyf has a migraine pounding through their skull and it hatches, finally freed, as Harold lifts them up with manic strength and starts to shout in fear and panic all Lyfrassir can think is that _you should be afraid of me_ and _how dare you_ and _you will regret this_ while the world. 

Twists.

Reforms. 

Rainbow, now, surrounding and cradling and loving Lyfrassir, showing them how to be in this form and hatch out of his old carapace and join them join them join them _join them_ , Harold disgusted horrified shocked pulling his hands away from their new form and he scrambles back and is caught in the floor, desperately trying to pull his hands out of the floor but they’re stuck now, stuck in the melting and the rainbow, and he is bound in tentacles, and Lyf _pulls_ at his limbs, dragging them slowly into the rainbow void as altar and celebrant and god, feeding themself in an act of violence and truth, and they take the gun into barely-human hands and point it at Harold and shoot, and he is dead, brains on the floor melting into them feeding them, and Lyfrassir rejoices in it, in the bloody violent creation upon their altar, 

and the door swings open and Lyf turns and _snarls_ at the intruder upon their victory, ready to rend them remove them as they have rended removed this petulant preening piece of humanity,

they are held and loved

they remember this feeling

hands carding through what is barely hair, tending loving caring, twining order and stars into their brow,

lips pressing to the stretched tissue of what was a cheek, pressing to the lips, leaving affection marked across their face,

they remember what to do and press back in, fold themself into these arms and this love and this _person_

Lyfrassir Edda collapses into Marius’ arms.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyf gets rescued. We don't know what happens next to Marius, really. All we know for sure, is if you’re ever tossed into the Bifrost, if you angle yourself a specific way in space and time you might see a very strange scene indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F for Marius but if ~you~ make it through you get little a fanart, as a treat

Marius had been looking forward to surprising Lyf randomly throughout the day. That was the point of having someone’s schedule, right? So you could be nice and show up and surprise them? He was pretty sure that was why the Mechanisms never adhered to a schedule. None of them wanted someone else coming in and interrupting what they were doing. You would ask and you would hope you got knowledge privileges or you’d have to put in the time to go and find them. So Marius was really happy, now that he had recovered from the whole being told he was scheduled into Lyfrassir’s evening with an hour-long block for just. Making out. He’d gone and actually checked the medical files and realized that he was never going to beat Lyfrassir in a holding-your-breath contest, so he should probably make sure Lyf knew that if he passed out that was actually a compliment because there was no way he was going to remember to break away and take a breath when he could just pass out real quick.

Marius might have to ask Raph if she’d ever tested if it was faster to break away and start breathing deeply or to pass out and wait for your mechanism to get you back up. That seemed like something she’d have research on. He sent her an email and prepared to get roasted whenever she got around to giving him what he wanted. At least he wasn’t asking Ashes, who was much more likely to literally roast him. It was really annoying to heal burn wounds, and it would probably turn Lyf off! So he was steering clear of Ashes.

“Are you going to actually help me, or are you just going to sit atop my prison and make gooey faces at your phone?” Marius leaned over and looked at where Jonny was trying to shove his fingers out of the cage. He’d escaped last night, but Ivy had gotten him back in.

“I don’t think you can see my face, Jonny. So there’s no way you can see if I’m making gooey faces, which I am _not_ , I am messaging Raphaella I will have you know.” Jonny tried stabbing upwards at Marius, and lost his dagger. “Nice one, dick.” Marius snatched up the dagger and gave it a look-over. Aw. It was shitty. Good enough to impale Jonny’s hand into the floor when he tried to get it back, though.

“Dickhead.”

“Maybe you should just accept whatever fate Ivy’s got in store for you.”

“She’s shoving poison ivy in here and she won’t tell me what I fucking did!” Marius rattled around the top of the Jonny-cage as Jonny’s fists slammed into it. “So let me out before she gets back and I won’t kill you in front of Lyf.”

“I mean, Lyf has seen me pretty shot to pieces by you, so I don’t think that’ll be super traumatizing, honestly? Besides, I’m only here because they scheduled in time to check on you, so you should be nice to them. Look, it’s right here, on the schedule, 2pm ‘Check in with Jonny’ and there’s a little note that says ‘bring food and water’ because Lyfrassir is very nice. And that means you should be nice back.”

“Marius, I can’t see your fucking phone.”

“I’ll send you a screenshot. C’mon, be nice to them. They’ve only been around for... hm.”

“Don’t know your own partner’s age? Rude of you. Maybe you’re the one who’s not being nice to them and they should go find someone better.”

“... You don’t know anyone’s age on the Aurora, Jonny. So that’s a bit hypocritical of you.”

“I never claimed to be anything but rude, though. You like to call yourself a gentleman.” Fuck. Jonny had him there. Marius should probably figure out if Ivy had scraped Lyf’s birth certificate equivalent in their pirating of the Yggdrasil system. Or just ask, like hey, when’s your birthday, we really only do those every couple of years but I’d still like to make sure I have yours, also what year. That was a great strategy.

Hm. It was getting on to 2:30. Lyfrassir was usually very prompt. Surely they’d be here by now. Marius checked the previous appointment on their schedule. It was just the tail end of get pet supplies and lunch. Hm. Maybe they needed help unloading? Marius could go check for that anyways. He could be a surprise helper! That would be nice for Lyf.

“Sorry Jonny, I’m going to go see what’s keeping Lyf! They’re probably unloading way too many cat things right now and I would love to help them. Well. I wouldn’t. But I would like to find out what they do to accidentally make you angry when they come check on you, so I’ve got to figure this out.” Marius stood up and leaped off of the Jonny-cage, avoiding his swipes with yet another dagger, and headed out the door and back to the Aurora.

Oh that was one of the vans Marius vaguely remembered being told was a kidnapper van when he was a kid. There were no windows except at the front, and it had a windshield wiper on the back despite there being, again, no windows in the back. There was someone unloading a lot of cat boxes and putting them onto a cart that Marius definitely recognized as being from inside the Aurora. Anarchy was sitting on top of the van, but he didn’t see Lyfrassir. Must be inside getting other things unloaded. Let’s do a friendly opener, Marius- too late. The person unloading had turned around and leaped, clutching their chest, into the air.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to be quite so quiet. You helped Lyfrassir shop?” They took in a deep breath and nodded.

“Uh. Yeah. I’m, uh, Fiona? She/her. Are you Marius? You’ve got the arm, and Edda mentioned an arm-- oh, maybe once you’ve driven someone someplace you’re allowed to use their first name... wait. That’s not important. Are you Marius?”

“Yup, that’s me! Marius Von Raum, instrumentalist and vocalist for the Mechanisms! If you get anywhere near the stage tomorrow you will be able to see me singing the part of Thor, and probably getting something thrown at me by Lyfrassir since they haven’t actually heard the album yet and I’m not sure that he’s even gotten around to reading the lyrics. I’m pretty sure he’s going to give stabbing all of us a pretty good go.” Fiona blinked.

“Sorry, I just- they spent decades being the quintessential desk jockey and being very, very good at it, and then in the past week they’ve done a bunch of wild shit and now you’re saying you think you’re going to get stabbed by someone who until last week we didn’t even know knew how to raise their voice. So this is all, uh, a bit much!” Anarchy glooped off of the van and moved over to Marius, who watched her warily, as Fiona talked and gestured. Anarchy ended up sitting on Marius’ shoulder. She didn’t look happy, so Marius pulled a cupcake in a bag out and gave it to her. It didn’t perk her up as much as expected.

“What’s got Anarchy so down?”

“Right!” Fiona visibly steeled herself. “So, uh. We got... followed by the police, on the way back?” Marius’ head snapped from Anarchy to Fiona. She flinched back, but didn’t otherwise move, which was good. Probably meant she wasn’t too guilty. “And we both thought it was weird, and in retrospect I should’ve realized something was up when Lyfrassir insisted on being the one to go get our food, but-- it made sense? Like. It was pouring. And I’d just gotten Anarchy dumped on me and she was purring.”

“The point.”

“They, uh. They came back, dropped my sandwich off, told me that Harold Paris-- he’s the chief of planetary security, and also really bad at following directions, I don’t know if you’ve seen the undercover cops? That he wanted to talk to them. And that they didn’t want me involved, and they dumped my food on the seat and left and I was a bit in shock and they said they didn’t want to get into a car chase or _anything_ but I did follow the cops! So I could show you, if you wanted, I just need to unload all of this first. For them. And, uh, you probably want to find some place to put Anarchy, because I feel like cats of any type are not great to have on a heist?” Marius pulled out his phone and dialed the Aurora, and put her on speaker so he could drag stuff out of the van while his phone was in his vest’s top pocket..

“ **Marius, why did you actually call me instead of just pinging me in the group chat?** ”

“You know how we’ve kind of been making fun of the undercover cops? Well, just making fun of them.”

“ **Yup, I was in charge of hacking into their phones.** ”

“Yeah. Do they have a secret base address in there? Or multiple secret base addresses, maybe? Or any addresses that don’t map to existing verifiable addresses?” Fiona, in the background, had started loading the cart again. Nice person. Marius would remember to try and keep her out of the fire fight that was about to happen.

“ **Yes, there were numerous.** ”

“Cross-reference with where this van has been please?”

“ **There’s a match.** ”

“Great! Tell everyone else that the undercover cops aren’t funny anymore, because they kidnapped Lyf, and they can do what they want with that information.” Marius paused. “Actually, tell Ashes that I would love their pyromaniacal talents.”

“ **Ah. Would you be interested in the location of the tracker in Lyfrassir Edda’s disembarking bag?** ”

“Yeah, that would be pretty sexy. Oh, if Ashes could bring more bullets that would be nice since they only gave me _three_ and I already used all of them doing an errand _for_ them.” The van was empty. It definitely had enough room for a lot of flammables, Marius, Ashes, and in order to make sure this thing could actually go fast... Marius turned to look at Fiona.

“Are you still up for a car chase? Because I’m going to go kill a lot of people, and Ashes is going to burn everything down, and these cars get very slow when you hotwire them, but you did help Lyf out and let me know, so you get a choice here.” Fiona grimaced.

“I feel like if I don’t help I sort of lose the rights to say acab and also pigs at the cops. Also Lyfrassir is kind of an icon right now by just quitting their job like that and I have _got_ to make sure they actually get to enjoy retirement. Can I get another gold molar and canid, maybe?”

“I can get the Toy Soldier to carve you a whole fake mouth.” Fiona brightened.

“Oh, that would be really nice of you. But it’s fine if you can’t, you have a busy schedule.”

“ **Marius, are you going to hang up?** ”

“Oh. Sorry, Aurora. Did Ashes say anything?”

“ **They’re on their way with a cart full of flammables to use, a gatling gun, and a lot of bullets for you. Also, Ivy freed Jonny, and he’s going on a rampage now. Most of the legitimate vendors are unharmed and appear to be not happy but also not sad that their very annoying undercover partners are dying. So we’re calling it a net win. Also, Nastya has hacked into their cameras, and is scrubbing through it to determine appropriate response. You know. Do we do torture back or just some murder. I will keep you updated. Although I would appreciate it if you would hang up and I can just message you. Or make your phone speak.** ”

“If you’re just going to make my phone speak I don’t see the point of hanging up.” Marius heard the rush of whining static the Aurora used to indicate a sigh. “Love you Aurora.”

“ **You’re a pain in the ass, Von Raum.** ” Fiona finished getting all the cat supplies up the ramp.

“So, uhm. Not to. Interrupt. But are we taking Anarchy with us, then?” Marius shrugged. Anarchy was still on his shoulder.

“She’s not trying to eat me, so we can just leave her in the van. She’s an octokitten, anything that doesn’t outright kill her she can heal from.” Marius frowned. Should he be bringing someone mortal along on a mission where Lyfrassir might be getting a bit eldritch-meltdown-y? But maybe he’d need someone’s brain to eat. Fiona could be a free buffet! And if she wasn’t she’d probably be fine and survive and it wasn’t his problem anyway. Marius’ brain frantically jumped up and down and brought his attention to one of her previous statements. “ _Lyfrassir quit his job?_ ”

“Uhm. Yeah? Yesterday? It was pretty badass, honestly, we all saw them writing the letter of resignation while in the meeting with Miller. Chewed her out for not trusting the expert that she had assigned to the situation, picked up Anarchy, who none of us had noticed until then, and just walked out.”

“They were practically _married_ to their job in the Yggdrasil system! And I should know, I did a _lot_ of flirting in that jail cell.” Fiona was still pretty pale, but she snorted at that. “What? It happens when you’re a space pirate. You get thrown in jail, you languish in a jail cell with two of your friends for a couple of decades to six decades, maybe, being really bored because after the first few days they realize all that moving you around to interrogate you does is give you chances to escape, and you decide to make the best of it by being on vacation from the rest of your friends and maybe despite your better self saying don’t find a cop hot you find a cop a little bit hot, and then you, you know, don’t manage to flirt them out of being a cop and you’re not actually sure that he recognized you were flirting, so when you have to peace out before the system gets destroyed you just mourn what could have been.

“Then they show up alive in the first system you’ve actually been to for anything other than pillaging some supplies and all your friends and you maybe only find out later than everyone else because they decided to pull a prank and they are still! Married to their job! So you just decide that that’s their natural state and put up with it and you’re telling me! They quit their job! Just like that! And didn’t mention it?” Marius leans his head against the side of the van and screams quietly. Fiona carefully pats him on the shoulder.

“I’ve only known the two of you for like, less than a day, combined, but I’m going to use the power of critical thinking to say that maybe you both need to have a talk about what you want out of whatever relationship you have going on here. Probably after we go rescue them from the extrajudicial kidnapping they were _weirdly_ calm about.” Marius heard the rattling of a cart coming up and peeled his sad self off of the side of the van to look.

“Hi Ashes, this is our getaway driver, Fiona. Fiona would like to also participate in setting the cop building on fire.” Fiona waved.

“Hi! Oh _wow_ that’s a lot- is that explosives? I don’t know how to set explosives, you shouldn’t let me do that probably.” Ashes grinned. It wasn’t a nice grin, necessarily, but Marius was going to call it nice because of what it meant for the cops at the end of this.

“You can stick to the gasoline, tar, and fertilizer then. Tim lent me some of his explosives.” Ashes started carefully loading their goods. “Well. Technically, I requisitioned them, but I’m quartermaster and I’m sure that he won’t mind if he knows what’s good for him.” Fiona’s eyes were sparkling. Marius wondered if he’d gotten the surveys back yet. He’d really like to know how everyone else picked up a fanclub. Although Lyfrassir liked him and that was a pretty big win assuming that he was still alive and not murdered by the police which would end _really_ badly for this whole planet.

Ashes was shoving Marius into the passenger seat and closing the door. Okay. That was fair. Maybe he should get his head in the game (killing cops and rescuing Lyfrassir) instead of just thinking about Lyfrassir. That was a pretty reasonable switch to start making. Marius started cleaning his gun and loading it and getting more bullet cartridges from Ashes.

“Do. Uh, is there a plan here? That I should know about?” Fiona was looking between Ashes and Marius. “I don’t have any experience here. I have not been a space pirate.” Ashes shrugged.

“Don’t die. Let us clear the place out, and I’ll leave some shit there for you to scatter around, doesn’t really matter how. Aurora’s hacked the cams, so don’t worry, you won’t show up. I’m polite like that. We go in, we kill a ton of cops, we get Edda out, I light the place up on the way out. You definitely want to be ready to get driving, because I’m pretty sure based on what Aurora’s sending me that we’re gonna be real bloody and Lyf might need some first aid. Is there a first aid box in this van?” Fiona started messing around under the seats while Marius glared at Ashes on their throne of flammables.

“Why are you getting the updates? I deserve to know what’s going on. What are they doing to Lyfrassir?” Ashes sighed.

“You’re not going to like it, and I want you somewhat stable when we go in. Lyfrassir will probably need it.” Marius reminded himself that he needed Ashes for their pyromaniacal talents but he needed them to say something, to let him know something, anything, and he couldn’t think of a single way right now that wasn’t violence. “Calm your tits, Marius. There’s no permanent damage. The worst of it is they might need some splints.” Fiona pulled up a first aid kit and gingerly set it on the dashboard before trying to make herself blend into the seat.

“Splints are pretty bad, Ashes! They don’t heal like us!” Marius _really_ wanted to stab but he didn’t have anyone he could stab in stabbing range and it was. Really bugging him. Raphaella cornered the market on dissection but Marius was enough of a doctor that he knew where to make it hurt and he really, really wanted to make sure it hurt for whoever had even thought about doing this to Lyfrassir. “Do you even know how long it takes bones to heal, normally?” Ashes gave him a Look.

“Do you?”

“More than a month! Up to three, depending on the bone and the healing rate!”

“Oh, ew. That’s a lot of time. Alright, so we’ll do a lot of torture. Does that make you feel any better?”

“It won’t help Lyf!”

“We could save a person for them.”

“I’m pretty sure Lyf doesn’t know how to torture people.”

“Dunno. I know you were actually in a Midgardian prison, but like, I saw a lot more shit than you did since they all stopped bothering with you pretty quick after y’all kept on escaping. They didn’t just stop the fucked up shit after Odin disappeared.” Marius could feel himself puffing up in anger and indignation and he drew his gun.

“Whoops! We’re here! There’s a couple of very angry doormen coming up so I’m going to keep on hiding under the dash but if the two of you want to do anything-” Fiona was cut off as Ashes and Marius both unloaded a bullet neatly into the foreheads of the two cops who were approaching the van.

“Right. I’ll come back and tell you when it’s time to start laying down the flammables-” Marius stopped listening and jumped out of the van, rolled, and came up slashing at another cop that had been approaching. He left the cop choking on their own blood and went off to hunt. Guns were too quick for these fuckers, although maybe he could leave some of them alive after shattering their kneecaps and cutting some of their tendons and ligaments. A nice message. Leave alone the people that the Mechanisms travelled with or suffer for the rest of your life, and if Marius gave them a little injection like this, then they weren’t going to live long anyways.

The world shuddered around Marius as he descended. It was never a good sign for the legitimacy of a given organization if they had more than one basement and it wasn’t for a very large carpark. He had been through so, so many galaxies, and only once had he come across a place that wasn’t full of assholes that had multiple basements, and they had had the excuse of actually needing to have no windows for experimental reasons. The walls were getting vaguely rainbow, but only around the edges of Marius’ vision, which was not a _great_ sign for how Lyfrassir was doing, so Marius went back to using his gun. It was more important to get to Lyf than to spend his time torturing these assholes. Besides, if he left them crippled, Ashes would make sure that they would all burn alive.

It could be a more extended agony, but Marius could live with the cops dying a burning death. He followed the hallways that twisted with rainbows that reached out to him and called his name and felt like Lyfrassir. Marius was becoming more and more certain that Lyf had taken care of their own problem and just needed a safe place to rest, now, and Marius would make that safe space if he had to destroy the whole planet to do it. He was pretty sure that the rest of the crew would be happy to help, in the name of helping a new immortal. That’s what you did. Marius clung to that certainty and the memories of his and Raphaella’s welcome as the corridors twisted between vein and cement, and the doors metal and muscle, and he followed the sound of screaming and rending and tearing as he desperately ran through meaty-metal hallways to try and find Lyf. His phone rings- the Aurora is saying something- he thumbs the button to hang up the call and keeps searching. He can’t be distracted. There are bodies sinking into the floor and dissolving and Marius figures that if that’s not happening to him that the force behind this has to have kept some of Lyf’s emotions and that means that there’s a pretty good chance- a very good chance, emotions don’t last in the bifrost, he’d seen it they’d all seen it on the black box if he was being spared then Lyf was in there then he can bring them back- he’s going to bring them back- they’re going to be okay- they don’t have to be normal none of the Mechanisms are normal but he does need them to be okay.

Whatever okay means, now.

Marius finally comes to the door that he feels is right and throws it open and he’s never seen the face that is sinking into the floor and screaming its final breath before- has been screaming its final breath for a while, now, Marius thinks- but he can see the remnants of a destroyed stun gun and the fragments of strobe lights scattered around the room- the room is much bigger on the inside- the room is infinite, on the inside, and Marius can see the stars that he made, they still have the form of paper and the notes of the music but they glow like they are now, in truth, stars, and Marius feels his breath leave his mouth and not come back for a few seconds, and he props the door open with his helmet and lets himself focus on Lyfrassir.

They are resplendent in the center of the room, and Marius feels a sound rumble through his bones, as they turn from the remnants of a body to face him, speckles of rainbow color flaring from a form that looks like a void if a void could also glow- for a second, Marius wonders this is simply the spectrum that Lyfrassir can see, dragged into a world and forced into everyone’s brain directly. A single glowing paper star still hangs from Lyf’s hair- but it’s not hair now, is it, moving on its own, stretching and moving in unseen currents, holding pieces of the man in the floor, dissolving them, and Marius can see a hand and a gun in it but he can’t see where the hand connects to any other part of the body-that-is-barely-a-body, Lyfrassir tearing open at the edges and revealing a new form that Marius remembers seeing bits and bobs of in the squamous things that descended upon the train in the Black Box recordings that Ivy copied- Lyfrassir’s more human form was dissolving as Marius watched, subsumed into the new thing that Lyfrassir was becoming and Marius stepped forward, picked some of the stars off of the ground and hugged them while they still had a form that could be hugged, while the eyes that were forming around them had yet to open, while Lyf still had the nerve endings to feel, and the eyes in still-Lyf’s-face snapped to him and Marius wanted to savour this moment of loving Lyfrassir while they were still Lyfrassir, let his hands raise and tangle into Lyf’s hair-tentacles-rips-in-space and braided them back into a crown upon their forehead, pressed gentle kisses all across their face, when he could recognize parts of flesh as being a face, trying to give Lyf marks of love to take into whatever their new existence would be-

Lyf collapsed into Marius’ arms, partially over Marius’ shoulder, and Marius quickly readjusted to carry them as they began to slide. Their hair was still braided with stars that glowed in the now-dark room. From the pale light of the stars, Marius could see that Lyfrassir’s skin was stained rainbow in places, and there were bruises fading that looked days-old when Marius knew they hadn’t been there this morning, and Marius really just wanted to sit down and cradle Lyf and damn anyone who interrupted him, but the partial fragments of cop on the floor were going to start to rot, and Ashes was going to burn the building down, and Marius wished that he had maybe gotten some wipes for his hands because he was ruining Lyf’s outfit more than it already had been by the tearing and reconstitution with bloody smearing handprints.

Well. Ashes and Raph had gotten them a whole new wardrobe, so that was alright. Lyf still had plenty of outfits to choose from that would have their own chances to get bloodied with careless hands.

Marius stopped and took a moment to collect himself and realize that he really was holding Lyfrassir in his hands, he really had found them, and he headed out the door. At some point, he wasn’t sure when, the world around him had gone mostly back to normal. Sure, the room was a square with 6 corners, but Marius wasn’t going to get picky about the floor occasionally feeling spongy beneath his feet and a hallway making him turn left 5 times to get out, because he was getting out and he was bringing Lyf with them. He almost ran into Ashes when he turned a corner, and they brightened slightly at seeing Lyf in his arms before looking further up and scowling at him.

“Took you long enough. This lot is liable to light at the slightest bit of friction, and you’re, what, dawdling down there?” Marius scowled back.

“You can navigate non-euclidean geometry next time, then, I think it’s pretty lucky that I got back up here without getting horribly lost.” Ashes tugged him further up.

“Well we’ve gotta get out of here now. Good on you, getting Lyfrassir out of there, when the weird flesh corridors started creeping up here I thought we might’ve lost them.” Marius hugged Lyf tighter.

“Well, he’s here now, and I’m not letting go of them until they wake up and we get confirmation that that’s still them in there.”

“That bad, huh?”

“They were nearly fully- I don’t know the word. Is there a word? Nearly fully apotheosis-ed when I got there. The shithead that caused this was very, very dead though, so at least they got that.” Marius managed a shaky smile at Ashes. “Pretty sure that the gun you gave them actually landed the killing blow, so that’s a good sign, maybe?”

“Ah. They’ve still got in their hand. Is it still loaded? Don’t want to end up treating a gunshot wound from their unconscious self.” Ashes reached over and gently tugged the gun out of Lyf’s hand. “Shit, it’s got a rainbow handprint, look at that.” Ashes ejected the cartridge and passed it back into Lyf’s hand as they started to shift, hand travelling restlessly around. When he had grabbed the gun, Lyf settled right back into Marius’ hold. “Aw, that’s sweet. Maybe we can make a full Mech out of them yet. Using guns as teddies is probably the first step.” Marius shifted Lyf as they started slipping a bit, and they cuddled into him like they had the first, much less disastrous time, hugging him.

“I don’t know if they even want to stay with the group when we’re done with the tour, Ashes. What if they- what if this is just- you know, a temporary thing? Just while we’re in the system. I mean, I just- I don’t know. They quit their job, but didn’t tell me, and you’d probably tell someone, if you were going to quit your job to hang out with you for an indefinite period of time?” Ashes sighed.

“Not to be rude, Marius, but I’m a qualified pyromaniac, not a qualified relationship counsellor.” Ashes dropped some balls of C4 around the exit to the basement levels. “So don’t take this as gospel, but have you tried telling them you’d quite like it, and, in fact, be over the fucking moon if he came with us?”

“Feels a bit pressuring, honestly” Marius carefully stepped over bodies as they headed out to the front of the building. “I don’t want them to think I’m, you know, gonna pressure them into anything, especially since they’d be a bit stuck on the Aurora.”

“ _Christ, Marius._ I’m holding an intervention the moment the two of you are both healthy. It’s going to be you’re both locked inside the Holt until you talk to each other about this relationship.”

“Lyf still needs to eat and drink, I’m pretty sure. You know. For not-dying purposes.”

“I know there’s a replicator in there, they’re standard fucking issue on Midgardian ships. Which reminds me, I need to nab their user manual, I cannot figure out why the ones we stole aren’t working.”

“Is that really an important train of thought right now?” Ashes rolled their eyes.

“I’m sorry, but some of us can plant C4 in a building doused in flammables and also carry a conversation. Speaking of which, I think we’re good, let’s get going.” Ashes led the way out of the lobby and into the parking lot, where Fiona was nervously sitting in the van, back of it open and side door open as well. Ashes took a lighter, gave it a kiss, lit it, and threw it back into the building while Marius ran for the back of the van, where he settled in with Lyf and shut the doors. Eurgh. He squished when he sat down. Maybe this outfit was a bit over-saturated with blood, but also, the cops had deserved it, so. Ashes slammed into the passenger seat, and as Fiona set the van going as quickly as it could, a physical pressure change passed over them as the building went up in flames. A few seconds after, it exploded at key points, and began to crumble into a very flammable pile.

“Thanks, Ashes.” Ashes sighed and lit a cigarette.

“That was good. Thanks for thinking of me, Marius.” They lowered the window and breathed the smoke out in rings. “They’ve got some real flammable architecture around here, huh. I should do more of this before we leave.” Fiona spoke up, barely heard, from the passenger seat.

“The postal building in town is a fire hazard and also not up to any health and safety standards. So if you want to do that tomorrow I can make sure no one is in there.” Ashes grinned at her.

“Fiona, I like you. Tell me more.” Marius tuned the two of them out as Fiona started listing the various buildings in town that were in violation of various health and safety laws and cradled Lyfrassir closer. Anarchy had slipped into Lyf’s lap while Marius wasn’t looking, and was purring on them. The streaks of rainbow on Lyf’s face and across their arms weren’t going away, and Marius was a bit afraid that if he looked under Lyf’s shirt there would be more, streaking all the way across their body. Was Lyfrassir still... in there? Marius didn’t really know how any of those worked. Ivy would have statistics, would be able to tell him the exact chances that Lyf was actually here. Marius was pretty sure that he didn’t actually want to hear those statistics- he had seen what had happened to every single person on the Bifrost, the Mechanisms had gone over every second of that recording to make their albums and decide who their characters would be and every single one of them had died, every single one of them that had been warped by the Bifrost had succumbed, sooner or later, and Marius. Wasn’t stupid, despite how he acted. He could hope, though. Lyfrassir wasn’t submerged in the Bifrost anymore, they’d come back from their previous ... eldritch occurrence, so maybe the odds were better than he thought?

Marius frowned down at Lyf and Anarchy as he tried to figure out what he could possibly do to increase Lyf’s chances. He was pretty sure he was already doing everything he could, which was very depressing, but he couldn’t really shoot existential despair or the manifestation of Lyfrassir’s Bifrost-induced trauma even if he tried very hard. The Toy Soldier possibly could, and would be happy to, so he’d have to ask for its help. It was very good at doing things just slightly to the left of possible, and this might be just slightly to the right of possible, but it was worth a shot. The worst thing that happened was that it didn’t manage anything. Marius kept on vaguely hearing Fiona and Ashes chatting. They were being quiet, which Marius appreciated, but looking at Lyf, he couldn’t help but wonder if that wasn’t what they needed. Lyfrassir was still solid, still firm and not losing weight in his lap and Marius couldn’t take sitting here doing nothing but he had already braided his hair, and he didn’t want to undo it, but he needed to do _something_ he couldn’t just sit here and hug Lyf forever. Presumably. Probably. The others wouldn’t let him. He knew that.

Lyfrassir still wasn’t awake when they got back to the Aurora that night, the van pulling up the extended ramp, and Fiona stumbling out and waving goodbye. Marius was fairly certain, based on the noises that he had almost heard from Fiona and Ashes and the swerving of the van that caused him to almost lose his grip on Lyfrassir a few times, that it hadn’t been a very smooth escape. But Marius didn’t want to let go of Lyfrassir, in case they started to disappear faster than they had, and no one actually reached the van, so Marius didn’t do anything but tighten his hold on Lyf and take him back to the Holt, a home inside of a home, a ship inside of a ship, and hope that when they woke up they would still be Lyfrassir Edda, Former Head of Band Communications, Former Inspector Second Class, and still someone who could love and be loved and not some sort of squamous creature whose mind had been left in the Bifrost. Maybe when they woke up their reaction to the numerous teeth in strange circles and spirals and lines that had finally converged on the Holt would let Marius know that they were still Lyfrassir Edda. Marius laid Lyf in their bed and curled besides them, and Anarchy refused to leave their side as well, frantically purring like that would wake them up, like any of what they did mattered in the face of whatever force was on the other side of the Bifrost, dragging Lyfrassir in.

The rainbow streaks were slowly growing, overtaking Lyf, and Marius was panicking. He didn’t know what would happen, if they overtook Lyf, if that was good or bad or somewhere in-between. He tried a scrub with a wet washcloth, a face-body mask that Raphaella formulated and brought to him on request, and just rubbing his hands gently over them. The rainbow didn’t transfer its stain, but it didn’t get any smaller, either. Marius wasn’t sure what to do. Raphaella had taken a blood sample, when she came, and he hadn’t the heart to stop her. It had looked oil-slick, rainbows dancing on top of what Marius hoped was a normal blood color for those in the Yggdrasil system. Raph hadn’t seemed worried, so that was a sign that it at least didn’t mean instant death. It didn’t mean that Lyf didn’t have a chance. They just lay there, breathing occasionally, heart thumping slowly but powerfully enough to slightly rattle Marius if he lay his head over their chest and Marius tried to tell himself that that was good, that breathing and heartbeats were good. Marius had rebraided Lyf’s hair into the simple three-strand sleeping braid that they used, trying to indicate to himself and maybe them and maybe Raph and Ashes and Ivy and Jonny and Tim and Brian as they passed through and were either shot or yelled off that Lyf was just sleeping. When the Toy Soldier finally came in, Marius didn’t hear it until he’d been shot. He pulled the needle out of his neck and tried to find a label on the syringe, but he didn’t see anything.

“Raphaella Said That You Needed To Sleep, Marius! You Will Be Fine! After A Number Of Hours!” Marius glared at the Toy Soldier. He knew there had been something that he had wanted to ask, but he couldn’t. Quite remember what.

“Toy Soldier, if there’s anything you can do to help pull Lyfrassir back then _do it_ , they need help and I don’t know what to- do...” The presumably sedative was kicking in faster than Marius thought Raphaella had actually formulated for yet. “They need help...” The Toy Soldier nodded.

“I Know Just What To Repurpose, Old Chum! Don’t Worry About It! I’m Sure That She Won’t Be Too Put Out!” It patted Marius on the shoulder, twirled, and marched out of the world.

“What’re you... TS, what’re you... repurposing?” Marius barely slurred the words out.

“Oh, The Teeth! It Was Going To Be Very Pretty, But I’m Sure That Odin Won’t Mind! She Seemed Quite Reasonable!” Marius scrabbled for his gun, and tried to aim it, but there were so many Toy Soldiers, all smiling at him, and he didn’t know where to aim, and _hell_ none of them had thought or realized that this was a possibility, why would the Toy Soldier make such a convoluted _sigil it was a sigil_ of teeth if not guided-

Marius’ shot went wild as he was dragged down into sleep, and the last thing he saw-felt-knew was the bullet striking his own goddamn leg.

He was a communications satellite- he was a favored son- he was himself but with a dumb mustache- he was- he was shoved into roles and didn’t quite fit he had played them but they weren’t him he wasn’t that and he knew his own self after millenia of being him, and it kept on trying, forlorn and lonely gunslinger, satellite that didn’t want the war to end, idiot who had tried to board the Aurora and get out alive-

The cadences of the songs rang in his minds and reminded him that this wasn’t who he was, but Marius saw himself in flashes, running through The City, dancing around a planet, painstakingly cutting a hole in the hull, floating in an endless vast field of stars awake and tortured with knowledge, and alwaysalwaysalways a figure behind him, chasing him, and he knew that it wanted to kill him, long and snaking and coming and coming and coming with its teeth and eye and knives and a stolen hammer, and Marius couldn’t see anyone else, couldn’t see Jonny singing across from him Brian telling him to recognize his son Raph getting shot down as Alice, they weren’t there and this wasn’t him and he was so, so tired of running, of feeling this emptiness, seeing Zeus tower over him with one eye and try to grab him and knowing the whole time that there should be someone there with him, there was just someone there with him, where had they gone? Why was he alone but for the hunter, why was he the _prey_? He was a Mechanism and they were not hunted they were the hunter and yet over and over again he felt himself shoved inside someone else’s skin and forced to dance to the tune that the Mechanisms had written for them.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been running, shifted and shoved into new forms. Occasionally, through a mirror, he saw himself, and his friends, and it looked normal, and happy. They were doing concerts. Marius didn’t have time to hear much, but apparently he had started wearing sunglasses. His self in the mirrors and windows and puddles would smirk at him if their gazes caught, and Marius wanted to scream, wanted to yell and break the reflections, climb through and fight that dumb idiot who didn’t see the other Mechanisms scheming and plotting right behind his very back. He may be an idiot, thank you very much, but that asshole was tarnishing the good name of Marius Von Raum. 

Occasionally, he was almost caught, and his pursuer would crawl and glide around him while Marius hid and waited for a chance to make a break for it. He saw it, occasionally, out of the corner of his eye, and shuddered and hid deeper in whatever landscape he was currently in.

It talked to him, and the people it wanted him to be.

“Arthur, we can end this so easily if you will just come here. Don’t you want to rest?” It slithered through the stars, and Marius hid in the center of one, wishing for Brian. “Come here. Guinevere and Lancelot are within me, Arthur. Mordred as well. Don’t you want that? Wouldn’t you enjoy seeing them again? You could be happy, in me.” Marius shuddered as part of him started to violently yearn for lovers he had never had and a son he had never known much less lost.

“Comscat Chesire, don’t you want the war to go on?” Marius ran and ran around to the other side of the planet, always the other side, the planet was so wide. “Don’t you want to stop running from me? I can take you to the war that never ends, never dies, with people and places and violence churned into a beautiful ever-changing painting, a wonderful tableau for you to watch.” And another piece of him tore off and began to yearn for blood and war and carnage, not so different from his real state of being except for that this him wanted to watch, stay above it all and laugh as mortals died without ever taking action except to extend it.

He was hiding again, and running, and the voice was talking and resonating through his bones, breaking him into pieces that tugged at him and made it harder to run run run run run run. Part of him wanted to be back in the wastes, dunes of sand, part of him wanted be above a planet, part of him-

“Heracles, Heracles, I can kill your father and give you the revenge you desire. Come with me and you will never find yourself beneath anyone’s heel-” Marius feels part of him give a violent jerk, wants to turn around, that sounds wonderful- “come work with me, Heracles, be a leader in my new organization, you and yours will never age or go hungry again.” And the revulsion that he should not be feeling towards working _for_ someone ever again if it’s not Zeus is enough that Marius can pull himself deeper into The City’s twisting confines, running away from the thing and tangling it so that he can run, run to the next story- 

“You want immortality and fame, wealth and power, well come into this ship, it has what you need and it has me and I will make sure that you are known forevermore, just come, let me take you, come inside, come inside, I am an honest entity, and it is wrong to lie.” Luckily, for all their unfortunate resemblance, he was never very like Pilchard and it’s easier for Marius to master down this new fragment, the voices of so many people that he’d sung into a temporary rebirth possessing him, now, and he would very very much like to rest. The creature sings to him a tune familiar, a tune he wants to sing along with, join his friends but that is not his friends, and as he dances between the stories, running and running and hiding and singing and dancing and running, he- loses track, tumbles over and over into story about story after story, not even having enough time to learn who he being forced to be, running and tumbling mile after mile, tearing swathes through the sky that let the void in _the void sings_ no signposts to let him know how far he’s come as he runs until he stumbles-

Into the newest story

But he’s still there

And instead of being forced into a new role, he and Thor looked at each other. It’s a break from whatever the hell his life has become, at least. Thor looks much the same as he had when he had gone out the window in the Black Box, but his hammer has clearly been replaced- it looks of a different make, although Marius can’t say he’s an expert in hammers.

It’s quiet, here, and Marius takes the moment to catch his breath, eyeing Thor warily and being eyed in return.

“What sort of trap are you, then?” Thor hefts the hammer.

“Don’t think I’m a trap for you. I think you were meant to be a trap for me.” Marius leans against the wall. “Please don’t hit me, but I’ve been getting tossed around every single story I’ve ever fucking sung, and I only got to actually sing as you in concert once, but. Well.” He sighs. “I guess we’re both having eldritch troubles now.”

“You can say that a-fucking-gain. Odin’s been stalking after me whenever she’s got spare time. I’ve broken more than ten hammers in her eye. I was honestly expecting to be dead by now.” Thor let the hammer hang more loosely at his side, which Marius appreciated. He might be immortal but he really wanted to savour this rest, not be dead during it. “How long has it been, out there? Do you know what happened to the Yggdrasil system? The Midgardian Revolution?” Marius tried to pull out a violin and came up empty, but turned the motion into a shrug.

“More than a century, now. Loki made it to the engine and between her and Sigyn they kept the train in the Bifrost for about eighty years. And in that time the Midgardian Revolution succeeded and they were working towards a less shitty but still pretty shit system of government when the train arrived.” Thor grimaced.

“That’s what we get for letting Odin gather us all into one place. Still. At least I did take her out of the train with me. And the system? Fucked, I assume.”

“Devoured in rainbow horrors, yes. Pretty nasty. My friends and I saw it happen. We were there to get the story, you see. Saw the Black Box. Got out. Wrote up an album. We were on tour, and we found the only survivor of your system. Some shit went down, I got a bit sedated by my friends, and now I’m here. Don’t really know how long I’ve been here, though, so it’s possible that I’m out of date.” Marius caught himself trying to pull out his mandolin. If his violin hadn’t come to him, his mandolin wouldn’t either. “I’d play and sing what I could of the album for you, but, well, my instruments don’t appear to like it here.” Marius catches himself twitching a bit. “And it’s hard to play when an eldritch monstrosity is trying to divide you into different personalities that all have a different goal, sorry.” Thor grimaced at him.

“Can’t be pleasant, no.” He hefts his hammer over his shoulder. “I’d better get back to the endlessly killing and being killed in turn by Odin.” Marius heard himself whine. “Look, you can stay here if you want, I just don’t trust any place quiet like this. If you can’t hear them coming, then something is about to happen that you really don’t want to happen. The only reason I’ve been getting any rest recently is that she’s busy.” Thor turned to look back at Marius. “Well. I suppose busier. She’s been tormenting someone else for a while. I see them, occasionally, but I think she’s a bit busier with that poor sod right now. Well, and you, I’ve never gotten anything as fancy as what you’re saying and gods willing I never will.”

“That’s fair. If you see the other person, and you get a chance to talk to them, and they happen to respond to Lyfrassir Edda, please tell them I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner. Fair if you can’t, though.” Thor shrugged.

“I’ve already got enough skin off my back that a little more won’t cause any harm. I’ll do it if I can.” Thor disappeared, and Marius felt the space he was in shudder, and then he was thrown back into the dance- the son the gunslinger the failure the satellite the gunslinger the son the gunslinger the failure the son the satellite the satellite the gunslinger-

Marius tried to take the gun with him. He may not understand anything that was happening to him, but he knew his own self and he knew what he was supposed to look like and do and be and that had to mean something, even in this place, if he had maintained it in all these iterations- refusing to become the satellite the failure the son the gunslinger in true- and he was _going_ to bring his gun with him and he was _going_ to shoot the fucking eldritch thing hunting him down even if it did nothing because it would satisfy _him_.

As he ran from one story to the next, working on assembling the gun as he went, getting one piece and then another to maintain coherence, he saw his smug asshole replacement chained up. He wasn’t sure where. But he was glad that his friends had finally figured it out. The relief tripped him up, and he fell, and it was upon him, opening a mouth that revealed rows upon rows of teeth, glistening and squirming and wanting to pull him in, and at least he had the gun, and he raised it, and fired, and fired, and fired, he realized he had never loaded the gun and it clicked dry and the mouth slammed into him and he was-

At the center of a circle made for something different, and someone different, changing in a peaceful ballet around him, it wasn’t for him but he was in it and it didn’t care who was there just what it was meant to do and whatever had been trying to change and warp and repurpose him, chew him up and spit him out suddenly slammed into the new wall and tore itself on a mouth of gnashing wooden teeth and left.

Marius hung there, in the dark and rainbow now, catching his breath, holding his gun like the lifesaving tool it was, and the wooden teeth swirled around him and formed a wooden armor that clicked with the movement of his breathing. A path formed in front of him. It was strewn with squamous things, but Marius had his gun and his armor and the pieces of him that were not him were quieting down, slowly but surely, away from the influence of what must have been Odin, he was a goddamn idiot. Some of the teeth dropped into his hand, shaped as bullets, and Marius reloaded his gun. More of them formed a sword, and he’d never used one before, but it couldn’t be that different than dissections with a dagger, and if he could not excise the squabbling remnants of self that had been planted into him with it then he could tear apart every squamous thing between him and Lyf. Pulled in four different directions, Marius picks none of them, and sets off along the tracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two amazing Lyf and Anarchys:  
> https://two-am-art.tumblr.com/post/613136303944581120  
> https://brittleskyblue.tumblr.com/post/613322232167612416/should-be-writing-but-nah-wanted-to-finish-this
> 
> One amazing Marius bursting in and seeing Lyf based on last chapter information that also predicted the rainbows I added to Lyf and also that Marius would be bloody. Witchcraft? Perhaps.  
> https://disheveledapathy.tumblr.com/post/613408556214091776/hey-so-that-no-violins-allowed-chapter-huh-yo


	15. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim: How can I devise an equal-opportunity deathmatch for these youths vs the cops?

“Ivy, do you have everything that you wanted from this planet?” Ivy looks up at Nastya. She has been immersed in data for the whole day, except for regularly scheduled pings to go add more poison ivy to Jonny’s cage. She’s also got some getting cultivated in her library, and she’s set up some alerts to go check on them as well. Nastya interrupting her hadn’t entered any of her projections. Marius had been hovering about a 15% chance of interruption, and there was a calculation running in the back of her head on whether or not Jonny was likely to have escaped and be coming to kill her, but Nastya hadn’t quite factored in. Oh. She was still talking.

“Apologies, Nastya. Yes, I have downloaded all the data I intended to from this location. I am currently doing a first pass of organization and will be leaving more intense archival efforts of the planet’s data to when we return out of system.” Nastya grin-snarls at her, and Ivy wonders who, exactly, fucked up for that expression to be on her face.

“Would you like to help me bring this planet’s whole wireless infrastructure down?” Well. If Nastya is asking, then there must be a good reason for it. Ivy accepts a hand up and nods.

“I have identified several weaknesses in many of their systems, most likely due to a lack of interplanetary sabotage in a unified system. It would be simple to show them to you. How long are you looking to bring down this planet?” Nastya shrugs and turns away, leaving Ivy to follow her. She does, of course.

“As long as we can get it down.” Ivy nods. “They kidnapped Lyfrassir.” Ah. Ivy quite liked the Former Inspector. They had been quite polite for a cop, even when she was in a jail cell, and now they weren’t a cop and Ivy had been looking forward to showing him her collection of Yggdrasilian media and data and showing them that something had survived. She’d enjoyed teasing them with Raphaella, although nowhere near as much as Marius, who’d taken decades to even admit it was flirting.

“Has Lyfrassir been retrieved?” There was less than a 40% chance and falling as Nastya didn’t reply that Lyfrassir had been retrieved. “Nastya?” She paused and looked at Ivy. Ivy wasn’t quite sure how to categorize her expression.

“They are currently torturing him. Aurora is keeping an eye on the situation and updating Marius and Ashes as the situation progresses.” Ivy was very nearly certain that only Ashes was actually receiving those updates, but perhaps Marius had annoyed Aurora recently. “Marius and Ashes left before any of us could say that we would enjoy coming along, so we are causing chaos here.”

“I am changing my suggestions to cause more damage to physical infrastructure as well. They have some... _unwise_ hookups in the power plants. Are we intending to leave this town’s power alone so that we can still run our concert?” The chance of that was also failing, which was fairly sad. Ivy enjoyed concerts with everyone else. She may not know the exact details of how things would go, but she knew down to the second the shape of the songs and what to do and how to be. Nastya didn’t respond. Ivy resigns herself to no more concerts in this system. That’s fine. At least they’re getting some good chaos in.

“We can run a concert in a burned-out world. We’re capable of that. Aurora would be happy to be our sound system. But first, tell me, do you think the planet’s internet first, or electricity first?” Ivy hummed.

“The most efficient path to causing chaos would be the internet, then the other communication systems, and then beginning to attack utilities. Of course, once that is underway, we can drop some viruses into their system. I will begin the takedown if you do not mind creating the viruses.”

“Aurora will still be able to run our phones, yes?” Nastya was stroking the Aurora’s wall. “Yes, of course. I would not do anything that would inconvenience her.” Nastya smiled at Ivy. Ivy liked that smile more than the grin-snarl that Nastya had been doing.

“Then I will happily make the viruses. There are many I can repurpose and sharpen for this purpose.”

Ivy liked working with Nastya. When she had a plan and a purpose, she was almost like Ivy, settling into the task and working at it until it was done, methodical and knowing exactly what she could do. As the two of them brought the planet to the edge for everyone else to give the final push, it was almost an electrical dance, through and with the Aurora, a tango of destruction and the beauty of the code. The three of them laughed and danced above a burning world, waiting for Ashes and Marius to bring their missing immortal home.

\-----

Tim checked his phone and swore. He didn’t bother swearing quietly- he’d already taught the kids swears in every language he knew. It had been a great time, teaching them the basics of trench warfare and guerrilla warfare, and technically he _guessed_ they were learning teamwork and how to take care of each other but if pressed he was just enjoying teaching kids how to make bulls-eyes on a moving Toy Soldier.

He probably shouldn’t let them kill cops, though. Hm. He was pretty sure that most planets didn’t appreciate 10 and ups learning murder until they were 18, or, in the cases of moon wars, 16. And the cops would have a lot better equipment, and the kids weren’t immortal. Wait. Guerrilla warfare. He was an idiot. He yelled over the crowd of kids.

“Hey, my friend got kidnapped, who wants to learn about sniping vantage points and shoot at cops?” One of the older kids raised their hand.

“Sir-”

“I’ve said please don’t call me sir.”

“Tim, do you want us to like, post about it? On Space Twitter? So people know why this is happening?”

“Not a horrible idea! Go for it, but do it quickly, because if I’m not wrong Ivy and Nastya are going to take out the internet pretty soon. Probably warn your friends and loved ones to stay inside and away from cops. And maybe stock up on non-perishables?” The kids nodded and took out their phones and started furiously texting or calling their parents. Alright, that was probably enough time. “Who’s ready to learn sniping!”

They cheered. Excellent. “Alright, today we are learning how to snipe cops!” The kids cheered again. Most of them yelled fuck yeah. He was so proud of these kids. Two days and he’d gotten them fully against the system. He didn’t have a lot of time before Jonny started ripping up the cops, probably, but he did have enough time to give them the basics, so he took the kids and walked them through the basics of picking vantage points, where to aim with their little bb guns to cause the most damage, and also refitted a lot of the bb guns to be more accurate and more powerful over long distances. They deserved it for being such good students!

“Gunpowder Tim sir? You don’t have a bb gun, how are you going to join us? Do you need us to go get another one?” One of the ... probably teens? Was looking at him. Tim pushed his goggles up. Have to model proper safety for kids even if he had metal eyes!

“Oh, no, I’m just going to be committing murders.” Tim started fitting the gun back together. “Cops or the government or someone kidnapped one of my... hm. We’re not really friends? We haven’t talked a lot. But, you know, when you’re going to know someone for a good few rest of existence because you’re both immortal you’re going to end up being friends eventually. Also, it sets a bad precedent if we let them get away with it.” His phone buzzed and he checked it. Ah, almost time, thanks Brian. “So yeah, no, I’m not letting you lot commit murder, but I will be. A lot of it! Tell your friends and the group that if they don’t want to see that they should probably get out of town now.” Tim handed over the bb gun. “Oh, and if I die I’m fine. Like I said. Immortal. Can’t die.” The kid looked pretty nervous. Damn. Was that not how you were supposed to talk to kids?

“Will everyone else be okay? My parents are in town. Is the government going to try and take them?”

“Uh, yeah, the government doesn’t actually care, probably. Your parents aren’t immortal. And me and my friends will be too busy killing cops. Just tell them to stay inside and the fuck away from any cops. Anyways, make your decision, get out or don’t, I don’t actually care.” Tim stood up and dusted himself off. “Also probably don’t shoot people in riot gear it won’t do jack shit. That’s all the life advice I’ve got for you besides ‘don’t look directly at explosions, even if it is badass’ so get going.” The kid scampered off, and the rest of the crowd of kids dispersed. Tim focused on cleaning and loading his own guns so that he didn’t have to see how many of them left and how many of them didn’t. They were nice kids. The cops started approaching. Tim grinned at them and then took a step back- dropped into a trench- and ran off to start causing chaos. He heard screams as some of the cops started dropping into the trenches, and did hear the pops of air as BB guns went off. Ah, they were nice kids.

Hopefully they didn’t get too traumatized! Not under his control, though. What was under his control was the next shot, the next dead cop, watching the blood run out of them and pool on the dirt, the wasted vintage draining to water next year’s crops, eyeballs hanging from their sockets, snitching bullets from their pockets and taking their guns and on and on and on, Raphaella swooping down occasionally and snatching someone up before he could murder them, flying off with them and making such a sweet sound as they occasionally fell back to earth.

He was surrounded, but not for long, and not very well, when they were covering their eyes the backs of their knees even trying to cover their crotches- he had taught those kids well- and he dropped the squibs of gunpowder and then a match, and savoured the explosion, laughing as he was dragged back together and into standing shape. He took Jonny’s hand up, and it was from there quite easy to fall back into old patterns, as they danced together and around and through the cops, until Brian cut in and took Jonny away, but he brought Tim more explosives, and left Tim back in a solo exhibition of how to apply them against human targets with very enthusiastic audience participation.

When it was all done, surrounded by a carpet of corpses Tim felt more at peace than he had for a while. He turned and walked until he had located all the kids, safe and sound, and went back to Brian to find out where he could carry out some violence next.

\-----

Brian was pretty sure that today was going to be a very morally conflicting day. For one thing, Jonny was not being at all grateful as he cut through the bars of the cage Ivy had made, and kept on almost getting his fingers cut by the metal saw.

“Jonny, I promise you, you are going to want all of your fingers at the end of this. If you don’t have all your fingers, it will be much harder to use your gun.” Jonny pressed his face up against the bars. He looked like a cat shoving its face someplace it wouldn’t quite fit.

“Well I don’t have a fucking gun right now, do I? Ivy took it and put it somewhere.” Brian paused in his metal sawing and pulled Jonny’s favorite gun out from behind him. Jonny tried harder to shove himself through the too-small space, and managed to get a hand fairly far out.

“No. You get it once I actually manage to get you out of here. Not before.” Jonny groaned.

“That’s not fair. I haven’t seen the bar staff in ages and I want to threaten them into getting me a drink, and that’s better than a dagger.”

“Lyfrassir already told them to bring you drinks when you asked. You don’t need to threaten them.” Jonny scoffed.

“That’s boring. Besides, they apparently also had check on me on their calendar but I don’t see them anywhere, do you? Buggered off. Just like the damn bar staff, I suppose.” Jonny idly waved a dagger at Brian, and winced when it screeched off his arm. “Can’t you make better noises when you get stabbed?”

“That’s not really under my control. And Lyfrassir isn’t here because they were kidnapped, which is also why I am releasing you. Marius is bringing Ashes with him to do a spot of murder and arson wherever they’ve taken them, and everyone else is taking it as an excuse for a spot of violence. I assumed you would be mopey if you didn’t get to partake.” Jonny squinted at him.

“I don’t understand what the means or ends are here. What setting are you even on?” Brian lets his head thunk against the metal cage. He would really like the Mechanisms to stop asking that question, and they are never going to stop asking him that question. “Huh. MJE. What’s the means that’s being justified by the ends of killing cops?” Brian goes back to sawing through the cage.

“Everyone who’s not a cop has hunkered down in a safe location. Lyfrassir will be coming back to the Aurora, hopefully still alive since we don’t know if they come back from death.”

“That’s not really means.”

“Maybe you don’t know what means are and what ends are, Jonny. The means of getting you out here so that you can have fun justify the ends of, well, a lot of murder, even if you are having fun.”

“I still don’t think that’s means or ends.” Brian stopped sawing.

“No, that’s not bad, please keep on going!” For a please from Jonny, rare as they were, Brian was willing to restart his task. Brian looked down and saw Jonny was stuffing the poison ivy out of the cage and onto his lap.

“You realize that won’t do anything to me, right?” He heard muttered curses from inside the cage. Oh well. He was almost done. Which was good, because according to his internal clock, he had almost reached Ivy’s projections of when the cops would arrive and try to get him to talk sense into everyone else. The door opened, just a bit ahead of schedule. Jonny was quiet inside the cage, and pretty invisible if you didn’t know he was there, since he was still absolutely covered in poison ivy. Brian looked up at the newcomers. They didn’t look like cops. Their shoes were too expensive, and too polished, and Brian could see that they were wearing very expensive suits with - yes, he was fairly certain that was a kevlar weave. That wasn’t going to help them against Jonny.

“Excuse me, are you Mister Drumbot Brian?” Brian heard a quiet scoff from Jonny. “We were hoping to talk to you.” Brian nodded, and continued to saw at the metal bars. Just a few more and Jonny would be able to slip out.

“That’s me. And for once, there’s a complete drum kit for me to use, so I’ll actually be playing the drums instead of the banjo. Or accordion. Or, occasionally, guitar. Although you may still see me on those. Are you planning to come to the concert? I’m afraid it’s tomorrow, and I’m not the one you would need to talk to about attending.”

“We were actually hoping to talk to you about calming down some of your... compatriots.” Great way to refer to his friends and try to distance him from them. He wondered if that was for his benefit or theirs, trying to convince themselves that he wasn’t really like the rest of the Mechanisms.

“I’m afraid I really have very little influence over their emotional states... I’m sorry, you haven’t introduced yourselves?”

“That’s not important.” Brian smiled. Rude government agents.

“I’m not sure I could help you, frankly.” Two meal bars to go. Brian sped up his arms a bit. It didn’t matter that that drew the attention of some of the agents at the back. “You’d be better off figuring out what’s upset my friends and making reparations.”

“I’m afraid they all took our interviewing of your former liason a bit seriously. We took them in for debriefing, and, well, it seems as though it’s all been misunderstood.” Brian smiled up at them. One bar to go.

“Maybe you should get Lyfrassir on the phone and let them tell Marius it’s all a misunderstanding, then? That would probably be the best way to do it.” The agent who had been controlling the conversation shifted from foot to foot.

“I’m afraid that in debriefing we don’t allow for phone calls or similar. If your friends would just wait, we could make sure that Edda would be able to reassure your friends of their safety.” Aurora knocked against Brian’s brain and displayed what was currently happening to Lyfrassir and Brian did not need that right now, his arms blurred, the final bar snapped-

“I’m afraid that we already know that that’s not true. Jonny? I’ve got a treat for you.” Brian stood up and peeled the metal cage back, and Jonny was out, snatching up his gun and loading the bullets and one-two-three-four the agents were dead, and Brian was standing over the spokesperson. “I’m just going to talk to him. I’ll let you know when I’m done.” Aurora mentioned that Tim could use some help. “Tim would appreciate assistance. He’s a few streets to the west.” Jonny grinned, dripping with blood already, what a mess, and took off. The spokesperson whimpered slightly.

“What are you going to do?” Brian smiled down at him.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to know what your plan was, here. Can you tell me that? I want to help make sure that people are fine.” Civilians are fine, at least. His morals had never quite included cops.

Much like any mortal who had seen Jonny in action, the spokesperson was happy to cave, and as he spoke, rolling out the plans for riot teams and cops and swat teams to pour into town and take the Mechanisms into custody as well, and Brian didn’t have to do a thing but stand and smile.

Aurora took the information directly, and with his help, they fed it into battle plans and organized everyone, Tim held the west side of town, Jonny sent wherever the highest concentration of trouble was, Raph flying around, dropping her concoctions and picking up the dying the dead and the very much alive for her experiments. Brian wrestled with his morals, there, but what was important was his friends were doing fine and weren’t going to get experimented on, and it was a known problem in every psychology field that those you cared about were more important than others, to your brain, and well his brain had been made to emulate a flesh one even if the switch had been added on top of it, and despite the pain of knowing that he was helping make all of these deaths happen it was almost nice to know that he was still human, like that.

The choreography of everyone else’s dances of death and violence consumed Brian for the rest of day, until in the evening all that was left was clean-up and watching the van’s progress back to town.

He almost wished Jonny had flipped him to EJM before he had left to do his own more direct violence. Then at least he could’ve put the spokesperson out of his misery instead of some weird catch-and-release of sending him out into the chaos after mining his brain.

\-----

Raphaella was very sorry to hear about Lyfrassir’s kidnapping, but there were so many new test subjects for her! They were just running straight into her arms- which might have been helped around by switching out her wings for a more feathery set after checking to see if this planet had any tradition of angels. Luckily, they did! They were so grateful to see her, even as she injected paralytics into them, or dropped vials of some of her new flesh-eating self-destructing viruses down on them, and she even got to carry some of them into the sky just to drop them when they started getting nervous!

People were so much better for running experiments on than the Stowaways, even if the Stowaways would report back with their own experiences through the hivemind on whatever she had done to one of them. They were just too blasé! There was only so much you could take of a body being thankful to help you before you wanted some proper struggling test subjects.

There were so many people, she dusted off her freezing chambers and started dumping bodies in there to keep until she thawed them out and tested on them next. She had so many ideas! There was just so much to do, and as she flew from place to place, landing onto to revel in the violence with her friends before moving on and picking her next victim, Raphaella hoped that Lyfrassir would be alright. It would be a shame to lose a fledgling immortal because of some idiot cops. Raphaella caressed the head of the one she was currently carrying, and sliced open his skull, keeping the brain and letting the rest plummet back to the ground. Maybe she should make her own, mini-acheron out of them. Let them be tortured for a while, and full of knowledge that this was so, so avoidable!

Ashes might still have the blueprints for the Acheron, even. She could see it now. She’d have to keep it away from the Aurora’s wiring, of course, Nastya would kill her if she tried to see what that would look like, although the Aurora boosted with human minds could be incredibly interesting. Not worth the carnage to her lab that Nastya would cause, though, so Raphaella shelved the idea and moved onto the next, and the next, and the next.

She was going to have so much science to do.

\-----

Marius had fucked off into the ship with Lyfrassir, but there wasn’t jack shit Ashes could do to help either of them, so they turned back to Fiona. She was looking around town and looked a bit pale, but mostly still running on adrenaline. Good. They could work with that.

“You said something about the postal office not following health and safety standards?” Fiona whipped her head around from the screams in the distance to Ashes.

“Uh, yeah, I know a lot of buildings in town that could use burning, honestly? They’re considered historical but it’s all just legal loopholes, I don’t think anyone who works in them actually gives a shit about that. They’re nasty to work in, no temperature control, dangerous substances, the works.” Ashes grinned. That was right up their alley. “Plus, you know, they just look horrible. It was not a fashionable period of time.” They slapped Fiona on the back, and she stumbled forward a bit. Whoops.

“Come with me. I’ll get you kitted out, and then we can have a night on the town.” Fiona brightened and flushed. Ashes could work with that. They took Fiona and the cart to their little storage space (sure, it was bigger than anyone else’s, but they were the Quartermaster, so) and got her kitted out in some fire-resistance gear, and some bullet-proof stuff since they knew cops were out and about. Ashes meandered around the room, carefully picking which flammables to bring, while quizzing Fiona about how the buildings were constructed. Occasionally it was nice to leave a bit of a frame, let people know what had been there and was now only cinders on the ground.

As they wandered around the storage room, loading up for a fun night, Fiona flitted from box to box, and Ashes was kind of touched that she appeared to be impressed with their stockpile. None of the Mechs appreciated their ability to load a room, organize it, and then find everything later, and it was nice to be appreciated. Maybe they could show their own appreciation back later. It would probably depend on how sexy Fiona thought burning buildings were.

The town was pretty much a mess by the time Ashes and Fiona descended, and Brian was helping Jonny sew back on his fingers and legs in the bar when they went in to grab a bottle to share with Fiona. Brian just sighed when he saw them.

“Going to commit a few more crimes against the populace, huh?” Ashes smirked and grabbed another bottle in case Fiona didn’t like whiskey.

“Can’t tell me there aren’t buildings where cops are holed up somewhere. I’m just doing some preemptive burning. Besides, I’ve got a helper who’s tell me which buildings they all hate.” Brian sighed.

“Oh, very well. I can’t stop you anyways.” Jonny’s throat was closing up, and Ashes left before he could say anything.

“Alright, Fiona, show me where we’re going!” Ashes grinned at her, and got a grin back, and the night was looking up after the horrible shit they’d heard was being done to Lyf. Sure, the Aurora needed to keep someone updated, but fuck, that had not been great to get live updates on. A little distraction with arson and maybe something more intimate if Fiona was up for it later was just what they needed.

In the ashes of the fifteenth burnt building, Fiona and Ashes accidentally knocked out the only remaining standing wall and didn’t notice until half an hour later, when they were both tired and quite happily wrung out.

\-----

  
  


The Toy Soldier wasn’t sure what was going on! Its friends were running around and causing chaos, but none of them had asked it to join in, so it kept on following the order that Odin had left it. It was a very complex order! Its friends almost never gave it quite so complex an order, and it enjoyed working its way through the order. Carving so many teeth had been quite interesting, and when Ashes asked for some it had thought maybe Ashes had also met Odin! But they had just wanted them to give to other people, and the Toy Soldier could respect that! Everyone deserved a full set of teeth, and if it had the time it would gladly carve them for a whole planet, but alas, it had a task!

The pattern that Odin wanted was quite complex! It had carved thousands of teeth, and it wasn’t quite sure that it had enough. The teeth marched along the walls, and over the seats in the kitchen, and across the length and width and breadth of the Aurora, who tolerated the Toy Soldier’s slight gluing of the teeth. It wanted to make sure that its friends wouldn’t mess up the teeth, after all! It didn’t want to have to kill them like Odin had said. But this would help Lyfrassir, and it did want to tell them that, what Odin had told it, that the teeth would help them fully become a new emissary and a guiding light! It knew what those things were, and thought that those were wonderful roles for Lyfrassir, who after all had lost his whole star system. They should get to guide others to... well, Odin hadn’t been clear! But she had sounded very certain that once she explained it all to Lyfrassir, they would enjoy it.

The Toy Soldier thought that everyone should have a role that they wanted. Its friends all did, after all, even if Jonny kept on getting confused on whether or not he was Captain or First Mate! But it saw its friends quite efficiently wreaking havoc on the planet, and if it could cry a tear of pride, it would. They all fit their roles so well. As the Toy Soldier laid its spirals of teeth, it watched them. 

Brian had always been a wonderful pilot, guiding people into their roles and places, and it saw him take control of the web of the Mechanisms through the phones and messages and guide them to where they could do their roles the best, helping his friends and maximizing damage at the same time. It was like a dance, and the Toy Soldier did not quite feel as everyone else did, it knew, but it did always want to join a dance, and had to content itself with the dance of teeth and spirals and geometry across the ship. It was very hard to get teeth to hang in the air!

It heard explosives and childish screaming (and it also wasn’t sure there, but it thought it was mostly gleeful screams!) and knew that Tim was having fun, although it supposed it could be that Ashes and Marius were already back from wherever they had gone! Tim had always loved his explosions though, and the Toy Soldier had been used as a stand-in enemy yesterday for the Children yesterday, so it assumed that that was Tim! That reminded it that it still needed to remove some of the bb pellets from the kids. They had learned remarkably quickly!

Jonny was definitely having fun out there, but the Toy Soldier only saw the traces of him in the conversations of others- Brian mentioning offhandedly that there was a surprisingly high number of people in riot gear here, Raphaella saying nevermind she didn’t need a hand there, Ivy saying that she had already released him and if he was complaining it wasn’t her trap, she’d only had the one, so don’t come killing her. Tim sent a picture to the chat once of Jonny running from cops with two kids! It was all very cute. He had so much blood on him!

Raphaella was also most definitely having fun, even if it was a smaller scale. She had so many bodies to bring back into her lab! The Toy Soldier ran into her dragging a cart of them. Some of them were still wiggling! That was good, everyone else complained when Raphaella used them as live subjects, but now it would take her at least a month to go through everyone! She asked it to help her, and it spent a good hour helping to carry bodies! They were very resistant, but that was okay, everyone had explained that cops didn’t have rights and couldn’t give valid orders.

When the Toy Soldier finally finished the teeth sigil, it was all over! It was very sad about that, but it soon got a new order, so that was okay. Raphaella was right! Marius looked very tired and needed to rest! It was so glad that it could help its friends. Lyfrassir was also looking very tired, but they were already asleep, so that was fine. Then Marius gave him another order, so it still had something to do! Excellent. It didn’t like having nothing to do. Being still and silent reminded it too much of before the Mechanisms. It wasn’t sure quite how to change the sigil, but it would figure it out!

It couldn’t frown, but it did feel that way when the teeth wouldn’t move. It hadn’t even glued the ones in the air in place! The glue dripped off. But they were solid and immoveable and the Toy Soldier knew it hadn’t left them like that! It was going to be harder to follow Marius’ order if it had to just add teeth instead of removing them! Odin’s presence had shown it so much more knowledge than it had had before, and it knew what to do, but it wouldn’t be nearly as good. Oh, well. Some help was better than none! It got to carving teeth to add to the sigil. In the morning, someone who wasn’t Marius came up to it! The Toy Soldier didn’t know who it was, but it moved wrong, moved around inside of Marius’ body but just not quite. The Toy Soldier checked, and Marius was still sleeping with Lyfrassir! Before it had time to say anything, it was receiving new orders.

“You won’t tell anyone that I am not Marius von Raum. You will refer to me as if I am Marius Von Raum in every aspect.” He? It decided to use he for now, since he was using Marius’ body. He stated this like it was fact, so of course it was! “What are you trying to do, here?”

“I Am Helping My Friends! You Asked Me To Help Lyfrassir Come Back, And Of Course I Will Help My Friend!” Marius looked at the teeth hanging in the air of the ship. He looked very contemplative, which was strange for Marius! It wondered if it should mention that. Marius wouldn’t want to be out of character!

“What did Odin tell you to do, Toy Soldier?”

“I’m Afraid I Can’t Say, Marius! I Was Given Very Explicit Instructions Against Telling Lyfrassir Or The Mechanisms About This!” Marius sighed and reached out and put his hand on its head and- it remembered everything that Odin had told it.

“I’m just so worried about Lyfrassir, Toy Soldier.” It had nodded. It understood being worried for people! “They were meant to be an emissary, guide me and our people to new worlds to destroy, and instead they’re sitting behind a desk.” All of its friends hated sitting behind a desk! It nodded its understanding again.

“I Have Been Told That Desks Are The Worst!”

“Shut up.” It had shut up. “I just worry that for someone who was meant to be the lighthouse drawing ships onto our rocks and into our mouths that Lyfrassir refuses to get around to actually doing anything! Every time they start to evolve, their chrysalis just holds them in. I just want to free them!” She had leaned forward and placed her hands right on its shoulders, and looked into its eyes. Her eyes had been like little holes to the Bifrost, and they gave the Toy Soldier the understanding of what it needed to make, and what Odin had wanted. 

It had nodded. It couldn’t do anything else.

“I need you to make that sigil, Toy Soldier. You will make that sigil, spread it out throughout the ship, with Lyfrassir Edda at the center, and when I tell you, you will activate it. You will help Lyfrassir Edda hatch on my terms and become my emissary to the people. They need to see me. They must know that I am the last ruler and the unmaking of all they hold dear and _that insignificant Midgardian's resistance will not stop me. He will gather the people and bring them to me to be devoured and I will rise in power until none can stand before me._ ” Odin disappeared. Marius faded back into reality in front of it, looking disgusted.

“Oh, so she thinks she can beat things much older and more powerful and more well connected than her. Well, that’s all normal and well enough, but if she wants to replace me,” and the little preening of hands smoothing down the jacket over the vest was _very_ Marius, he was getting better at this! The Toy Soldier was proud, “then I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen.” Marius sighs and reaches forward, with a hand tracing a finger across the painting on the Toy Soldier’s face. “You all bring such good madness wherever you go. It would be a pity to have you all devoured in the apotheosis of a new god. I’ll have a talk with my new sibling when Odin is distracted. You will make sure she is distracted by re-making and activating the sigil.” Marius’ hand dipped and picked up one of the Toy Soldier’s own, kissing the back of one hand, and then the other. “You will be able to move the teeth now.” Marius’ head raised again, and like Odin’s, his eyes transfixed the Toy Soldier. They weren’t the same, though, and instead of the Bifrost it saw an endless void, without even stars, filled too full to have space for something like light, and it felt like it was an endless corridor, hearing historical events happen, and then it was once again looking at Marius and it understood how to move the teeth. It saluted.

“Cheerio! I Will Get Right To It, Marius!” Marius smiled- too cruel for Marius, but it wasn’t going to give acting tips, it hadn’t been asked- and turned. As he walked away, he settled into Marius’ walking patterns, Marius’ movements and behaviour and even energy until the Toy Soldier would have sworn, toe to tip, that that was Marius! And of course it was. Everyone else agreed! 

The concerts did continue, the Toy Soldier heard, as it carefully rearranged the teeth, as quickly as it could, concerned that whatever Marius had done to its hands wouldn’t last long enough. That seemed like something that Marius might do! It heard its friends talk quietly about how Marius was handling Lyfrassir’s coma, and it was confused! It could see that Marius was still sleeping with Lyfrassir, even if he was also walking around the ship and performing concerts! The waking Marius had gotten a much larger fanclub than the sleeping Marius ever had, and the Toy Soldier was proud of him! He seemed to be quite enjoying himself!

The rest of its friends came and talked to Lyfrassir occasionally. It heard them enter the Holt, and it heard them talk! But they didn’t see sleeping Marius. It was trying to change the sigil as fast as it could, for both sleeping and waking Marius, but it was hard when people kept on telling it to stop. It would have to wait for waking Marius to tell it to start again. He seemed annoyed every time he had to give the order, but the Toy Soldier couldn’t help that. He just didn’t rank quite with the rest of the Mechanisms, now, although of course the Toy Soldier wouldn’t want to tell Marius this! He always got upset when someone insinuated that he wasn’t a doctor or a baron and the Toy Soldier wouldn’t want to insinuate that he wasn’t a Mechanism now! It was a nice not person!

The Mechanisms were fighting in the background, as the Toy Soldier worked. It wasn’t quite sure what had happened! They were still all best chums, it knew, but they seemed quite upset. There had been a lot more murder and torture around the ship than there normally was after a concert. It couldn’t even participate, usually. Not unless directly ordered. It was pretty sure that if it had real feelings this would be feeling melancholy! Marius was quite happy about how things were on the ship, occasionally stopping by and talking about his plans to make it worse to the Toy Soldier, before ordering it to not tell anyone or anything else or some such other elaborate order. Marius had never been good at giving orders before. Just last week he had failed to find out that Lyfrassir was Head of Band Communications!

After a few days of start-and-stop working, the Toy Soldier thought that it was ready, but it hadn’t been told how to activate the sigil, and all the Mechanisms were back to being friends, which mostly involved right now a lot of drinking and laughing at Marius! It thought that was mean. Sure, he had been easy to trick for them, but that didn’t make it nice to tease anyone! It went to find waking Marius, who was chained up in the brig and having rather too much fun about it, according to Jonny, who was quite put out about the whole thing. It was rather hurt about not being included in the plans to chain up Marius. It had been included when the crew decided that Jonny needed to be chained up until he said First Mate at least once! It would have liked to have been asked to participate. 

Marius grinned at him from his chains. He didn’t act like himself anymore! The Toy Soldier supposed that maybe he had decided that he didn’t have to be himself in chains. He was swinging a bit like he was on a normal swing, in any case, although the Toy Soldier thought that maybe Marius just had experience swinging around in chains.

“Finished, are we?”

“Yes! I’ve Finished The Sigil! Marius? I Have A Question.”

“Go ahead, I suppose. At this point a little more or less time won’t matter.” Marius sighed. “I was so close to them actually fighting instead of play-acting. I suppose that’s why they’ve chained me up here. It’s not even doing anything for my back. I should have just copied Lyfrassir’s back.” The flesh under the back of Marius’ coat started to pulse as the Toy Soldier spoke.

“How Am I Supposed To Activate It? You Didn’t Say!” That wasn’t what it had intended to ask. But those were the words that came out of its mouth, so it supposed that was the question it got! Marius’ back settled down, and he slipped out of the chains, passing right through them. The Toy Soldier could still see a him in the chains, though. He grinned at the Toy Soldier, and his teeth weren’t right any more. They were too sharp for Marius. Jonny had tried that style once, though, but it had taken too much effort to keep it up with his heart fixing them up.

“Take me to it. I’d like to take the direct route to my newest cousin, and I’m bored here.” He affected a yawn. “It’d take too much effort to mess with you lot longer for not nearly as much payback as I can get if I just go to a decent city.” 

He dragged his fingers along the wall and sparks flew off of it, looking up at the ceiling as the Aurora groaned around the two of them.

“No, don’t warn your darling. I’ll be off of you soon enough. Won’t that make you happy? Although I can’t guarantee I won’t come back. You’re all so fascinating... and now you’ll have my cousin with you. Won’t that be fun?” The Aurora quieted down, but the Toy Soldier saw the Stowaways in the distance moving. “No, don’t do that. Your homey little symbiotic relationship won’t save them if they get closer.” The Stowaways left.

The Toy Soldier felt very alone. Marius besides it was cold and distant and despite not looking into his eyes it could feel the void looming over it, and it didn’t want to be taken and categorized and slotted into his retinue, following and crying madness. It wanted to stay here. And wasn’t that strange, that being next to Marius could let it feel emotions more clearly than it ever had before?

Marius stood over sleeping Marius and Lyfrassir, in the circle of the sigil of teeth. He grinned, and changed, and wasn’t Marius at all anymore! He wasn’t really anything. They? It? The Toy Soldier didn’t know. But the thing that had pretended to Marius towered there, and dripped something almost like blood right in between Lyfrassir and the real Marius and disappeared as the teeth all began to move, and dance, and the Toy Soldier heard its friends scream in the distance about where all the fucking teeth had come from, but it was watching as Lyfrassir and Marius were surrounded and protected and before it quite lost the ability to feel things deeply it thinks it felt pride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rub my gay hands over lovecrafts mythos and generate clean energy for all as he spins in his grave


	16. I̷̭̎̅ņ̶͙̈́ẗ̸̠́͑̍e̵̞̋̒͘r̵̹̔̄̓l̶̰̍͛͊u̴̡̱̍͆͘d̴̛͚̍e̷̺̗̐̎̆?̷̨̭̏́

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They sing and swim and learn and watch and find the traces of something that shouldn't be and xe decides to investigate and meddle, just a bit. As little a treat.

It was always so much fun when xe found someone being naughty with the mortals. It was the most fun when the one being naughty was older and could be properly rebuked (and should know better (old enough to know that they might all be beings of chaos, but there were still _rules_ ) and be able to work without hindrance anyways- just look at Yog-Sothoth!) and maybe even killed and the power left behind consumed, but the younger ones could cause plenty of mischief as well, and, well, he’d been bored, so at this point she would take _anything_. It was just a plus that there was a concert going on at the same time! Music was such an amazing mortal invention. They’d never get anything done if music wasn’t constantly soothing cer progenitor into rest. But music could also be pounding, madness inducing, subtle and slithering, propaganda, spreading the eldritch knowledge of vir choosing wherever she wanted and so much _easier_ than before music. They had made sure to introduce it to all of cer family, and most of them had taken it like the proverbial duck to the proverbial water.

The point, for anyone who was perhaps being given an extremely limited rundown of their thoughts (hah, the very idea (maybe if the person in question could hold both aspects of a necker cube in their head at once) that anyone could understand her) was that music was really quite nice. He really liked music. So finding someone being naughty and having music happen right nearby was a wonderful treat. Maybe ce’d call this period of time a birthday. You had to take them when you could.

What made it even better is the musicians involved. They always caused such delightful chaos and dragged madness with them wherever they went, even if they _did_ keep a primitive hivemind and a number of pests that had escaped from production in their ship. The music was still quite nice. They will have been one of the longest-running bands, and with the introduction of Yog-Sothoth’s new hatchling (so prolific, grandnibling, one from a great warping (although letting one of your children ensnare a new child was strange) was always such a rarity nevermind _two_ ) that vi can see is being accepted amongst them, maybe their story will change appreciably. There’s a perfect opportunity to step in and just- nudge things along a bit towards a direction that he would prefer it to go. The newer violinist is sleeping, anyways, so it’s not like he can complain if they just borrow his form for a while! Ze’ll stop using it when she’s done.

Oh, ew, the sigil is so unrefined. He wanders around it before taking mortal form and shoving himself into the visible spectrum in front of a very fun wooden soldier that’s got some yummy traces of Bifrost energy entwined around it. It’s not hard to skim the information he needs from the minds around him and order it into fixing the sigil into something that will be much more frustrating for Odin. Plus, now he had time to have fun! He wandered off to greet the scientist who was sketching such delightful ideas in her lab. She wasn’t happy to see him, but he was so glad to meet her!

“Marius, why are you already up?” He shrugged. Ugh, this mortal wore such strange outfits. Who needed three layers? They had temperature control nowadays. It just made the cloth shift strangely. Maybe that was why in this body the patterns included a lot of rearranging of clothes for the best effect.

“I guess the adrenaline burned through the sedative! I’m just full of worry for Lyfrassir! They still haven’t woken up, and the rainbow streaks aren’t better!” Raphaella frowned at him.

“I thought I had calibrated it against that. Oh, well, I’ve got enough test subjects to figure out where it went wrong. I’m sure that Lyfrassir can handle himself. They did manage to not quit their job after decades of interacting with us, so give it at least a few days before you get very worried.” He smiled at her. How nice to have a timeframe for when he would be expected to get worse instead of constantly inferring it from the form.

“Let me know if you want any help, Raph. I could use something to keep my mind off of-” he waved a hand around. It felt very satisfying. “Well. All of it. There’s not even any violence left to do in town.”

“I don’t need amateur psychology done to them, Marius. If you want to keep busy so badly, go find Brian and try to comfort him. He’s still feeling a bit bad about all the catch-and-release he did to the cops and helping us cause the most chaos.”

“Hey! I’ve got a degree! You’ve seen it! I could definitely help with the cops in storage!” Raphaella snorted at him. Rude, but in character, so fine. “But if you insist, fine, I’m sure finding Brian will be easy when he doesn’t want to be found.”

“Marius, I forged it. Go mope around somewhere else. I’m sure that Ivy can regale you with statistics. Or try, you know, the pilot’s room? Dumbass.” He slouched off. Raphaella would have been so much fun to hang around with! If only it would’ve been more in character. Oh well. It could be fun to mess with Brian.

Brian was too sad to mess with. It wasn’t even fun. It was just kind of pathetic. He ended up actually helping just by being around him and letting the reality-bending effects seep out until Brian felt a bit better and more human. So that was a wash.

Ivy was too busy with her books to listen to him, and kept on throwing books at his head with distressingly accurate aim. He didn’t really want to bother with reconstituting the body, so he didn’t go to find Jonny, who seemed like a very shoot-first person, and thus couldn’t go find Tim, who was hunting down Jonny, and Ashes was busy with Fiona. It had only taken one dramatic throwing-open-the-door to see things that he would really have rather not seen to decide that he was just going to sulk.

After a day or so at least things settled down a bit and he was able to spend his time just wandering around the ship, tinkering with his ideas of the Mechanisms’ relationships, and watching his inherent chaos start to seep into them. He also got to learn more about all of them, and participated in several concerts! He’d never gotten to just sing like that before, but it was fun, and easy enough to learn the lyrics and how he was supposed to sing them when he could just skim it right out of their minds. The longer he stayed with the Mechanisms- and it didn’t take long these days- the more his inherent aura steeped into the ship, and he watched the Mechanisms go from their play-fighting to something a bit more serious, a bit more real, and that was fun! Although hopefully at the end of it they’d still be willing to play concerts together. He did like their music.

It was amusing when they figured out that he wasn’t actually Marius and assumed that he was- what? Here to sow dissension? Well, if that’s what they wanted, he could do that, and much better than their little pretend play-fighting. Although it was too late to go back and react indignantly when Jonny was giving everyone’s full names and titles in the concert, since he had later found out that that was what had done it and got them realizing that he wasn’t Marius. He “hadn’t been indignant enough” about the Doctor & Baron being omitted or something.

No, wait, that wasn’t the point. What was the point? He swung around in the chains and tried to remember what had actually led him to this interesting distraction. Right! Yog-Sothoth’s child was treading into the mortal realm when she had no right to do so.

“Could you please at least act like the torture is doing something, to be polite?” He hummed and tried to roll over to look at the Drumbot. It didn’t quite work with a spike through the head!

“Sorry, Brian! It’s just kind of boring, honestly. Nothing I haven’t seen before. Mix it up and I’ll be polite about it.” Brian made a metal grinding noise and he manifested a little invisible eye to check out what was going on. Ah! He was pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, I’m sure Jonny and Tim and Raphaella are all very imaginative, it’s just that it’s all been done before! It’s hard to come up with new torture.”

“If we come up with something new, will you tell us what you did with Marius?”

“Oh, he’s fine! I told you. Just having a little adventure!”

“Where is he, though.”

“Right where you all left him! I haven’t moved him! That would be rude. If he comes back I’ll swap forms, would that be better?”

“Yes.” Brian sighed, gears grinding within him, and left the room. Raphaella wasn’t much more interesting, although to make it better for her he made sure that everything still worked as she removed it to test. It was difficult to get blood to move around like that in veins that weren’t connected, but it was interesting to do.

The longer he was hung there, the more he was tempted to spread the madness just a bit until they all went back to fighting. But he would like to perform with them again, so... he restrained himself. Heh. Better than the restraints did, certainly.

Jonny was the most persistent the first day, barely letting anyone else to work on him, and it was kind of touching! Well, of course it was touching, Jonny was very hands-on. But touching in that it was always nice to have a lot of energy focused on him because of something he had done, even if it was negative. It still fed him. And Jonny had such a delicious flavour of madness. Sadly, after everyone else had had their turn, he was left hanging and alone.

The morning before the day that he thought the Toy Soldier should be done rearranging the teeth, Brian came back in. But this time he had a number of tools and gadgets. A wonderful mix of what everyone else had brought in, all shiny and gleaming, and Brian’s gears were whining in a different tune, and oh, it was wonderful. Brian was so methodical! If he’d been human he was sure that Brian would have finally worn him down.

Questions, endless, repeated, slightly changing intonation and wording and order as Brian sliced diced and peeled, punctured and carefully dripped various concoctions over him. It was nice. Definitely something to do and focus on while he waited. And Brian lasted a while! It was very impressive. But after more than a day of that, he packed up and left, leaving him flayed in the chains. Easy enough to fix. But now no one was coming in.

Guess he had nothing to do until the Toy Soldier came marching in. Boring, again. But he’d get into the Bifrost fairly soon and start playing the real game. Just had to wait for the sigil to be finished. He should probably do something about the Toy Soldier’s weakness to Odin, but it wouldn’t matter if she was dead.

Well, still, he wasn’t going to give her any satisfaction, so as it walked them to the brig, he wove the Bifrost out of it and gulped it down. A delicious snack and a starter for what was to come. He quite liked the Toy Soldier. He didn’t know how it had been made or animated, and he wanted to find out quite badly, but that was a distraction, and if he did that it would take forever for them to get back on track. He withdrew his mental tendrils from its mind as they both entered the Holt, and activated the sigil with a bit of power and _dove_.

They swam through their progenitor’s children’s child’s realm, given access by the warped sigil of her own making. Quite fun, using someone’s own tools against them, especially when she was so sloppy about it. Yog-Sothoth had always been so messy, and personally, he thought that the rainbow aesthetic was really quite garish, not to mention dragging at cer form as it moved through the Bifrost, but presumably its children had a choice in aesthetic at least a little. The hatchling certainly didn’t appear all that garish in appearance, if you ignored the rainbow streaks on their shell’s skin. The stars were a nice touch. 

All the rainbow of Yog-Sothoth was fine in smaller amounts, but if everything was rainbow you really weren’t even getting the slightest bit of intimidation without a lot more work. It was just too much sensory overload for someone to feel anything else! Xe didn’t need color to drive people to madness and despair and fury and the death of their civilizations. Although with the star-faring galaxies, it thought that it was much more fun to just infect them with madness and knowledge and see where it went. It often went so, so far before anyone went “whoops, that’s a cult! Maybe we should do something about it”. Maybe that was a testament to their skills (it wasn’t nothing you did to little mortals could be (well, depending on how long they lived or how specific you got) that impressive when your family was like its family) but it could also get a bit boring, and then xe ended up playing both sides.

Once he had gotten a whole galaxy without any holdouts, but usually there was an annoying holdout, and once you’d set the rules of your game it was important to stick to them. Otherwise you ended up like Azathoth, lulled into eternal sleep and only occasionally reaching out to your children in the eldritch equivalent of a midnight snack craving and making them go to the store. 

Maybe ze didn’t want to go to the store and serve up a whole planet on a platter in the middle of doing their own business, thanks, Abyssal Idiot. She’d been in the middle of a decades-long project on slowly driving one mortal into the perfect flavor of madness and had had to abandon it when Azathoth had wanted the equivalent of sitting out forever on a counter soda. It was so frustrating. One day, ae’d break free from their parent and teach Azathoth a lesson. That day may be a long time in coming, but it could be closer if they could just lay Odin before Azathoth as an offering, or devour her personally. Her hubris could be a delightful feast for the Nuclear Chaos and would give em time to plan before another meal was required. Maybe, if ce was very lucky, cer parent would be slightly poisoned. Yog-Sothoth’s creations were often unpalatable, after all. If she ended up down vir own gullet, it would simply be a delicious meal. Ze knew how to fillet a pufferfish, Odin would not pose any difficulties. 

She would have given Odin this- the would-be conqueror had crafted a wonderful series of torments and distractions for those within her realm. However, she also wanted to create an usurper for them(rude, ze was made from the first (even if ae hated aer progenitor she could admit that Lord of All was the most powerful) and a child of a grandchild of Azathoth would never usurp them), and he couldn’t be having with that. Besides, it was considered rude to ensnare your siblings before you had both reached your first millenia. Also, just not sporting. What was the point in two babies punching either other? So they wouldn’t tolerate an emissary under someone else’s thumb, and the rules were on zir side. If there was to be another emissary, it would either be theirs, or under no thumb. Ze would obviously prefer to have someone whose successes empowered em as well, but it wouldn’t be horrible to see Odin watch a hatchling that she had put so much effort into snaring go free beyond the noose.

They rolled back time to watch this happen again. For a fresh entity, Odin had done a marvelous job. She had seen this mortal being touched by Yog-Sothoth’s influence through the conduit into the world created by her train and then by the Black Box (and wasn’t that rude, Yog-Sothoth, your thing is rainbows and my thing is the void (they took a moment to remind herself that most of their siblings and relations didn’t have the capacity for a human like enough mind to think about rudeness let alone to think) using my aesthetic for your conduit), meticulously crafted this mortal’s escape after their touch by Yog-Sothoth, and ze could see the way Odin had pulled back on the devouring creatures of the Bifrost to ensure that the mortal just barely escaped. She had set up a perfect confluence of events to create an emissary into the mortal plane. Hounding them in their dreams had probably been a bit much, though. Odin hadn’t learned a lighter hand, and now her chosen one hated and feared her. She could easily have set herself up as a saviour. 

Here, watch.

They slithered back forwards through time and swam through the Bifrost, hidden from the one-eyed gaze of Odin, keeping vir own tune below her discordant song of torment and watched the situation around ‘her’ mortal. Barely mortal, anymore, practically hatched, but clinging desperately to the chrysalis-body-mortal form. Odin formed wonders around them, straining the colors of the Bifrost into scenes of wonder and delight before tearing it all apart just to torment their cousin. It’s pretty amateurish, (so quickly flitting them through scenes before they can get comfortable, making everything too real (they can tell it’s wrong despite that, impressive) and not just wrong enough to worry them and keep them off balance) so she’s not impressed with Yog-Sothoth’s child. 

Ce weaves his way into the dream long enough to mark the hatchling lightly, ballroom dancing with them, a change from the normal scenes, stays just enough to make them findable again, and then dives back out, rewinds time, finds a place where Odin leaves her hatchling alone in favor of chasing down one of the other mortals in her realm. They scrub through the time frame, and decide it’s long enough to use! So it’s a wonderful time to introduce cerself to the little unwitting competitor. It’s hard to decide on a face, though!

Well, there’s one it definitely could use, but xey aren’t sure that that’s the tactic they want to take with this one! Hm. Introducing yourself was always so hard when the options for yourself were infinite. She decided that there would be infinity to make more impressions, so folded back into the form of Byron Marius Von Raum, and walked around through the hatchling’s forced dreams. He tasted the torment Odin had crafted in each of them, and found it a fairly weak vintage. Any planned successor should be able to stand up to much more! But he decided against strengthening them. For one thing, Odin would notice. So he knocked at the door to their cousin's office, where they were stacking paperwork into interesting and non-euclidean shapes. Probably a good sign! They looked up at the door and sighed.

“Odin, you’re just going to come in anyways.” Aw, they were still limiting themself to two mortal eyes! This disguise could last much longer than he had thought! He had been fairly sloppy making it, after all. With the implicit invitation, he entered. Their cousin shot at him, which was rude.

“Hey! You didn’t even let me say good morning!” He frowned and dodged another bullet. “Good eldritch period of time.”

“Stop impersonating Von Raum, whoever the hell you are!” He sighed. Alright. So he’d been sloppy enough that even two normal eyes had caught it. That’s what he got for trying to be nice to a new cousin! He let the form melt from him and idly picked over the other options. Hm.

“Oh, that’s worse.” Rude. Just because they had figured out he wasn’t Von Raum didn’t mean he could make fun of their very nice default form. A human-shaped hole to the void would darken up any room. He finally decided to settle for their old boss, who he thought was probably right now getting treated in the burn ward. “Agh. Fine.”

“Can I ask what gave it away? I know I was sloppy, but honestly, if you’re just using your two mortal eyes, I think I did it quite well.”

“Marius’ clothing has different UV patterns on it.” She sighed. It was pretty dumb of her to not have thought about that! Just because almost no one could see the UV patterns of clothes didn’t mean it wasn’t worth it to imitate them.

“And after I made sure I got the skin patterns right. Odin did do a lot of experimentation on her people, huh?” She grins. “I quite like your spine. About time someone had a better one so I didn’t have to put up with nasty human spines.”

“Yes, well, it was also a horrible period of our history and most likely not worth the loss of human life, but at least! Some random entity is getting a better spine out of it!” They threw their hands up in the air, scattered the paper, before hissing at the paper and making it all settle back down. They tidied up with their own two hands (so cute! Just tell the paper what to do (she can sense that he can) and it will) “So tell me- who are you? If you’re not here on Odin’s behalf. If you are, I don’t care.” She grinned. This body did that a lot! Maybe it was a result of being a boss and trying to pacify your underlings? She never had to pacify her actual underlings, but it could be worth a study.

“I’m the Crawling Chaos.” Her cousin sighed and threw a manifested paper airplane at her. She let it hit her on the forehead.

“No, I said a name, not a title.” Feisty! That was a good sign for their survival. She might be becoming fond of this cousin. “It doesn’t even have to be your own name, just something I can call you.” She shrugged.

“I don’t care. Pick one.”

“Well you’re a prick, so how about Harold?”

“I don’t care. What I do care about, newest cousin- well, technically great-grandnibling, in that you are my progenitor’s grandchild’s child, but doesn’t cousin sound better? I think it does, and I get to decide. Yes. What I care about, and what you should care about since it’s what I care about, is the fact that Odin would quite like to set you up to usurp my position.” They looked worried! Smart. The papers were wilting.

“I don’t intend to do anything Odin asks of me- you have no reason to worry about me. She and her plans can rot in this place for all I care.” She smiled, gently, at her cousin. They didn’t know anything yet! That was fine. They could be taught, later.

“She doesn’t intend to give you a choice about it. She’s spent a lot of time setting up your own apotheosis and creation so she can bypass having her own child. But it’s okay! I keep an eye out on little upstart fledglings who think they can challenge me.” She tried to turn her smile reassuring, but frankly, she didn’t have any practice at that. That was okay. She didn’t really want the hatchling at ease.

“May I ask what you’re intending to do about it, if not outright murder me, which you could have already done?”

“Well!” She kicks up and sits on nothing in the middle of their office, setting herself up to float around for fun. “For one thing, I got the Toy Soldier to repurpose the sigil that Odin commanded it to make to help your friend and protect him from Odin. It didn’t do anything for you, but it was that or have her force your completed apotheosis with her at the reins, and frankly it’s a bit boring just killing newly made entities. None of you know how to put up a proper fight.” The paper stacks grew as they frowned.

“Well, I’m certainly _very_ sorry that I can’t be more amusing to you before I die.” She waved a hand dismissively.

“You’ll be plenty fun, when you hatch! I haven’t ever gotten to teach a cousin who would be able to play in the mortal plane as much as they want. Although I’ve eaten a lot of them who try to do it without being built for it.” She waggled a finger at their cousin. “You’ve got a lot of naughty cousins now who don’t understand that it’s more fun if you let the mortal plane survive so that you can have infinite fun.”

“I- hatch? I thought- I already had?”

“Well, you did, but then you crawled right back into your shell.” She has floated close enough to pat them on the shoulder. “It is a nice one, I suppose. You’ll hatch again, though.” She leans in and peers into their eyes. She’s right! “But try not to do that in here,” she croons, “at least until you’ve thrown off Odin. Otherwise, Odin will control you and I will have to devour you whole! And you won’t even make a good snack.”

“This isn’t very reassuring. And I’d- rather not. I like. Being me. Having this shape.” She shrugs while still looking at Lyfrassir (anyone who can talk (well, besides screaming, they’re holding a whole conversation, very impressive for a hatchling) while staring directly into her eyes can get a name) and oh, they look sad again!

“It’s not meant to be reassuring! But here’s something that will be: there’s no point in hatching and not being able to form your own exoskeleton.” Lyfrassir still looked confused. That was alright! She was sure they’d get there eventually.

“Please just give me a straight answer.” Hah! Straight.

“You’re getting clearer answers out of me than anyone else will for a good long while though, so savour it. It would be nice to have another that is not bound away from the mortal plane. It gets so _boring_ when no one understands what you’re talking about. Even if your mind does remain stubbornly mortal, I’m sure we can still have fun together.” Lyfrassir shuffled paper around. “I guess we’ll see if I actually get to teach you anything about being an emissary later, if you make it out. Don’t tell Odin I was here, please.” She patted Lyf on the shoulder and left before Odin slithered back in.

She leaves, diving back into the rainbow waves and working back towards the mortal that got caught up in Lyfrassir’s tailored torture trap. 

He finds the mortal (the Mechanisms are quite delightful, but compared to em everyone will die (compared to Azathoth even ey will die) eventually, but the group will get longer than most, only partially because of the machinations of the Doctor and partially because of the favour of emself, but mostly because as they travel through the universe they create themselves again and again (ce is created over and over by new civilizations making new myths and that is what they have done to themselves, that group (they’re so proud of them even if he had nothing to do with it others who grasp at understanding) by travelling and telling their stories) and that will last them longer than any science) that it had impersonated for a while. Which had been quite fun, watching the other Mechanisms twitch and worry and wonder, and he had even got to play at a few concerts before they had pieced together the clues she had left for them to piece it together, even if it had been an unexpected error that had caused the attempted coup-de-grace. Ce would have to see if they would mind having em tag along for a few more concerts. It was nice to sing for the sake of singing.

He is walking on railroad tracks, covered in protective wooden teeth, and they take a moment to decide exactly how to manifest before them before settling on his own form, settling back into it easily. He keeps Lyfrassir Edda’s spine, however. He grins at Marius Von Raum, who has settled back and drawn his gun, sheathing his sword, which isn’t quite wise of him in this place! He knows that he has limited bullets, and there is only one target that they will really work against.

“Isn’t this a fine eldritch morning, Von Raum? How have you been? Making any progress, with your new armor?” He reaches out and knocks on the wooden armor, and raises an eyebrow when Marius raises the gun to his forehead. “Oh, is that a psychological trauma you want to put yourself through? I wouldn’t’ve thought. I could make it quite realistic though, if you wanted to see how you do it.” He leers at Marius, who sighs and holsters the gun.

“What, Odin decided that dragging me through my own characters wasn’t enough, now she’s manifesting versions of me but a bit wrong? That’s cliche, and she should’ve started with that.” He shapes his borrowed mouth into shock and disgust.

“Odin! You think that snake could imitate me? She might be able to imitate you, but she could never imitate me, even if she wants to. Which she does!” He raises an eyebrow at Marius, who has decided the appropriate course of action is to fist his hand in his shirt and tug him closer.

“What does that _mean_ , you bastard?” He raises an eyebrow. “No, don’t point out I’m just insulting myself.” He frowns. Boring. His shirt drips out of Marius’ hands, leaving him in an interesting costume of vest and jacket with chest hair peeking out. He was pretty sure this was an outfit that Marius would actually wear. So to switch it up, he inverted the colors of the outfit.

“Here, now we’re clearly differentiable. Better?” Marius was scowling at him, but that was fine. He’d been around the Mechanisms and was sure that that was just the first step in the tango of becoming friends.

“A bit. Who the hell are you and why are you here?”

“Be polite! I’m here to help.”

“What, by using my own face.” He grins. Yeah, well, it might freak you out at first, but people trusted familiar faces, and it was more honest to impersonate him than any of his friends. It makes sense, when you actually think about it, but maybe mortals don’t hit that level of thinking. He never quite remembers.

“I just thought you’d like a familiar face in all of this, Marius, aren’t I polite? I get you teeth protection and offense and you treat me like this?” He pauses. One, two... “Well, technically, I just showed the Toy Soldier how to change the sigil Odin wanted, but who wants to quibble about the details?” Marius sighed and sat down on the tracks. He looked exhausted, which was only to be expected for someone that had survived in the Bifrost for who knows how long. He knew how long! But Marius didn’t.

“If you’re just going to talk at me, can you please go? The squamous things keep on yelling out our songs in my voice and I don’t really need my voice talking at me but sentient this time.” He exaggerated into a frown.

“If you’re not going to appreciate me I can go elsewhere. I just thought you might like a little help.” Marius’ hand was on his sword now. Somewhat smart, but still wouldn’t do anything to him! He pulled a manifested compass with a nice attaching chain from his pocket. “So you don’t want this? It’ll take you to Lyfrassir Edda.” He let the chain drop through his fingers and watched Marius’ eyes follow it.

"I didn't say that. I just said that if all you were going to do is talk you could go." He smiles at Marius. That's a bit more polite.

“I believe,” well, they knew, but people didn’t like hearing that, “that it’s your friend that said it’s wrong to lie, so here’s the string attached to the gift: Odin wants to create an usurper for my position, so either you make sure that Lyfrassir Edda does not fall under her thumb when they hatch, or if they do, you kill Odin.” He slipped the compass into Marius’ breast pocket, and slipped the gun out its holster, sliding out the bullets and infusing them with a little bit of power before loading them back in. “Otherwise this little play will come to a rather sordid end, I’m afraid.” He grins. “It’ll still be fine for me, but you won’t like it.” He gets flipped off. Marius has not gotten more polite, but that’s okay! He didn’t expect that. He lets the gun be snatched out of his hands and re-holstered. 

“Thanks, I guess. I don’t suppose you have any tips beyond kill Odin or else?” He shrugged.

“None that wouldn’t break your little mortal mind!” He flicks Marius on the forehead and lets himself dissolve into what is regrettably an oil slick instead of a slice of void because of fucking Yog-Sothoth’s rainbows. They want to fuck with Odin. The fact that it will give Marius and Lyfrassir a better chance is a nice little bonus. Ce’d like to see her dead, after all! It wasn’t too much work to go find Odin, screeching through the Bifrost like a concert of nails on chalkboard, and he catches her just as she reforms after Thor wins that round. His body was collapsing in the distance, ready to die and be reformed, but it was still a fairly impressive win when Odin had had this battle hundreds of times before. Or maybe it just meant Odin was dumb. She certainly couldn’t sing.

“Hello, Odin! Adapting well to your new life?” A shiver ran down her spine, which was quite impressive given that she was currently mostly spine as a serpent, and she forced herself back into her human shape. It smiled at her. It was the best at having deceptive forms and she could barely maintain a previously-held shape. Already ce had shown Odin that she is inferior.

“I- yes. What are you doing here? Is something required of me?” She grins at Odin.

“No! I just thought I would welcome one of the newer entities in. I haven’t seen Yog-Sothoth create a child in, oh, eternities.” They manifested a toothpick and picked idly under some manifested teeth-nails. “Well, not one that lasted past a few decades. So you’ve done quite well, really. I just wanted to check in, make sure you were doing alright, maybe have a little talk.” It smiled at Odin. Ever the politician, she smiled back. Unluckily for her, here in this realm, she didn’t quite have control over the influence she exerted around her, and in the distance some quite lovely pets squirmed and died. She’d probably regret their waste, later or earlier, they just didn’t breed as fast as you could want. He’d been very careful to make sure that was the case, when presenting them to Yog-Sothoth. If only the Mother of a Thousand Young had let them do the same for her.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here, Nyarlathotep.” Ce frowns. She should know that he prefers a title (and there are many(there are thousands millions billions infinite one for each world that has and will exist)to be used) but it’s not even a very barbed shot across the bow.

“Yes, well, titleless one, I was in the area. I can’t be in all areas like my grandnibling, but I can be many places, including hanging around mortals, and I tasted the influence of one of its children. And it’s you!” Zey ignored the chairs Odin had manifested, morphed hers into a couch, and slid an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her tight. “Just a child, and already looking for something to manipulate. I’m so proud!”

“I... appreciate it.” Oh, she’s still so mortal. “However, I should point out, I am not titleless-” He interrupts her with a laugh.

“Self-given titles don’t count when you haven’t even reached your first millennia, Odin! Give it some time, and then you can be- what was it? The serpent that shall poison the sky and boil the sea?” Odin can hear the lack of capitals, and twitches at them. “Of course, you won’t be able to do any of that unless you’re summoned, you know.” She nods.

“Of course. I am working on building my own cult so that I can begin work on that. I wouldn’t seek to overstep my bounds.” They clap her on the shoulder and then go back to locking her in place.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t! I just wanted to make sure you knew, especially since the influence was so prominent that there was a sigil! And of course with no cult members in sight there’s no one you could have bequeathed that knowledge to in a vision. Don’t worry, I know you wouldn’t want to get in trouble, so I made sure it wouldn’t cause any trouble.” In the distance more pets explode and writhe themselves into nonexistence(what a waste what a waste they can tell Odin was a tyrant (no respect for limited resources and that was all she would have now) and not a particularly good one), and for a moment rainbow laps at its lap, but all the rainbow Odin can muster is nothing against the void inside of vir, and it all sinks in and disappears. She licks her lips and grins at Odin. “Thank you for the snack! So polite to your elders.” Odin snarls and whips around with a knife, and he laughs as it sinks inside his chest and she has to leave it in order to not lose her arm. She’s already a one-eyed serpent- she can’t afford to lose any more limbs.

“What are you really doing here, Howler in the Night? Tell me! You cannot interfere in the creation of a child!” The Bifrost flexes around Odin, coming to her command, and she tries to use it to apply pressure to xem. Xey just smile, now up, at her. 

“No, I can’t. But you aren’t making a child, Odin. I would know! You’re playing games with a sibling who doesn’t realize their power yet.” She’s feeding them so well (Yog-Sothoth will not be pleased to learn that its second-newest child (insolent, not well-taught, what _was_ it teaching their children these days? Oh, it wasn’t) had let so much of the Bifrost drain into it, but oh it was so good to feast on another’s energy) and it’s almost tempted to let it continue until she has poured all her being and power into aem, but that would cut the game off too soon, so they stop letting it in and start being impenetrable, and Odin falters, and oh it is so tempting to devour her now, such a morsel. Delicious. 

Xey grow, and twirl around her, and gently kiss her forehead before leading her on a dance through the Bifrost, far out of her realm, leaving it to tick along without her, dancing and singing and full of joy as ce watches her realize just how _small_ she really is, and she fills with helpless rage and determination and blind hated as she watches and sees and knows and finally, the dance leads the two of them back (the mortal and the hatchling are reunited, maybe it’s a bit early to have favorites (never too early to have not-favorites, though, and Odin has already cemented herself there) but oh Lyfrassir had been so feisty! A new emissary to teach, someone else to dance with among instead of beyond the stars, they’re so _excited_ ) but xe has never been accused of being fair despite what they personally think. So ce drops Odin back off in her own realm, and slips away.

Xey sings, as they encircle Odin’s realm, no escape for any of them until the end, a beautiful play of torment and tragedy and, hopefully, a happy ending of this particular scene for every one of them but Odin. This will be so _fun_ to watch!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eldritch beings right after mortals invented music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3QfRJsF9Pk
> 
> eldritch beings after a bit with music, in front of the car: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA7lXbFM_Bk


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyfrassir goes through the wonderful roulette of Odin attempting to induce trauma, and decides that they've enough of all this nonsense

They’re getting very tired of Odin’s temper tantrum. She’s slammed him into so many of the worst moments of their life, over and over, dragging them from low point to low point to low point, although she avoids the lowest point (looking into the Mechanisms’ cell and seeing nothing inside, they had all left, they had all known, and left it to them to figure it out too late) probably because it’s very hard to imitate the Mechanisms at all convincingly. So she saved that for a moment of particular fury- when, for no reason that Lyfrassir could tell, everything became clearer, like a bite had been taken out of Odin’s net, and now Lyfrassir could begin to struggle free.

So she tried to form herself into some of the Mechanisms. She was lucky she hadn’t made Marius, or Lyf wasn’t quite sure how they would’ve reacted besides quite badly. Brian had been a good go, but not quite right (Odin had gotten quite hung up on the MJE and EJM switch, and despite her presumed access to at least some of Yog-Sothoth’s knowledge she had rather cocked it up by not getting the base personality right) even for someone who hadn’t interacted with him that much. Lyf made a mental note that if they got out of this they should get to know Brian better and also apologize for the awkward conversation about his moral settings. At least she had just dismissed the fake Brian, enraged enough with her failure to discard the simulacrum immediately. She had left, for a bit, then, or at least they assumed she had, as they sat in their old office with piles of paperwork all marked past due and spent a soothing hour filling it all out.

The entity that entered and talked to them was definitely not Odin- got Marius and Miller all wrong, didn’t attempt to murder Lyf for getting snappish and annoyed, and gave them useful information before disappearing again, with a request to not inform Odin, and that was fair. They could hold another secret tight to their chest, and take solace in the fact that Odin did not have control over everything that went on in her realm as they processed the talk with the entity. From the moment of appearance, there had been more resonance of self and similarity than Odin had ever managed despite her attempts, her continued explanations that they were her child and needed to obey, and shouldn’t, if that was true, that mean that they should feel that around her?

Odin returned, and spent an hour ordering a false Toy Soldier to torture him (the wood grain was wrong, the paint was wrong, and the intonation was very wrong) while wittering about her plans and how it would be so nice if, Lyfrassir, you could just be like the Toy Soldier! So very obedient, a pleasure to order and a delight to be near. Lyfrassir pondered the implications of Odin knowing about the Toy Soldier and didn’t like them, and that was worse than the actual torture. But the whole time they hunted for a feeling of similarity resonating as it had with the other entity and there was nothing, just boredom and disgust covering up worry and anxiety.

Raphaella and Ivy, which she tried next, were also a bust, but mostly because she had tried to do both of them at once. Individually, their doppelgängers had been perfectly crafted, down to the patterns the UV light made as it dappled off their skin, and Lyf had enjoyed a very involved conversation with Ivy about Midgardian literature before pointing out that he had made up half of the titles and all of the details and besides Raphaella had been making the same repetitive motion with a scalpel over a brain for the past ten minutes and she needed to switch up her idle animations if she had any hope of actually fooling him, and, well, that had ended with her using Raphaella and Ivy’s bodies to torture him, which hadn’t been pleasant since they couldn’t die.

However, it did mean that she had wasted probably her best opportunity to actually get him to agree to anything. Lyfrassir reminded themself, occasionally, whenever Odin reached over to trace where the incision scars would have been, that at least she had wasted her time dissecting every single one of their failures instead of trying to convince them to work with her while dissecting them more literally. Lyf knew that they would survive that, now. So there was no incentive to give in to anything, when Odin tried taking Raphaella’s form again (but wrong, the eyes were wrong, the proportions were wrong, she really wasn’t good with this) and dissecting them again. It was almost boring, which definitely meant that Lyf should pretend to get therapy. When it became clear that she wasn’t getting anything out of them, she threw down her tools, screamed, and the scene warped again, dragging them back.

“Pass me the wiring, Lyfrassir.” Lyf smiled at Nastya and handed over the wiring. Something was wrong. Nastya grinned back at him. It wasn’t right. Had they seen her grin before now? They’d just met, in the pit under the ampitheatre’s stage. Why did Lyf think it was wrong? Lyf blinked, and the world shimmered rainbow.

Ah. This was her next play. Every new scenario felt so real, and they desperately hoped that eventually they wouldn’t need that second to remember that they were in Odin’s grasp. Lyf reminded themself of what they knew to be true as Odin-Nastya talked to him about the Aurora, and the Mechanisms, and how they had both wished for a guiding light, someone to give direction. Lyf could laugh. The Mechanisms in the jail cell were enough knowledge of the whole group to know that that would never be the case. The show wasn’t going on above. This wasn’t Nastya, and anyone else he saw would be fake as well. The memories, as always, were sluggish to come back, but at least the sense of wrongness never left them defenseless to her plays.

Eventually, of course, she realized she was being humoured, and Odin strung him up from the ampitheatre’s rafters, which Lyf wasn’t even sure it had, and having them drawn and quartered by the squamous things. Still not as bad as getting dissected, though. After that, Odin abandoned torturing him with the Mechanisms, and went on to the more mundane issues in their previous life. She started normally, running them through the gauntlet of motherly disapproval again and again, but at least then they got to see their mothers again. She got bored, and threw them into a gamut of nightmares.

A never-ending round of job evaluations, the classic nightmare somehow leaving the house without being dressed, disappointing their mothers, somehow being responsible for the worst crimes ever, living in a box under a bridge, having car and ship controls respond weirdly causing multiple crashes and a lot of damage, being back in high school being told that they were failing everything, being unable to find the right classroom, weird robots trying to get into their car to murder them, driving from the backseat, being in a college class that had a final project due that they didn’t remember signing up for, running away from a werewolf that can kill with its spit, being arrested by the cops while also being the cops, crashing their car into the principal and being blacklisted from every college ever, could actually very quickly become mundane.

Even when most of the background people in your dreams were replaced with squamous things who definitely didn’t care.

Lyfrassir Edda did not know how to ballroom dance. This was not one of his memories, and never would have been, and they didn’t know what was happening. He had been in the middle of a very tiresome policeman's ball, receiving and making many snide remarks about everyone else’s coursework, but despite the name, it did not and had never involved any actual dancing. Too dangerous when everyone was wearing steel tipped boots despite the dress code, afraid that someone else would step on their toes. So the sudden conversion was strange, and frankly, more confusing than anything else given that Odin had stuck to scenes that had actually taken place in his life.

They were very, very tired of having their family dangled in front of them. They had had decades to understand and accept their deaths, and no matter what she said, they knew that it wasn’t their moms sitting across from them. It wasn’t. And it wasn’t Marius dancing with them in a ballroom. But it was nice to pretend, for a moment, a round of the dance, until Marius was twirled away and vanished, dripping through the floor like oil. It had been comforting while it lasted. Maybe that had been the point. They knew it hadn’t been Marius (the patterns of his skin and his outfit reflecting in the light of the ballroom’s Bifrost ceiling had shown that) but it also hadn’t been Odin, who had at least gotten the UV patterns right even if she couldn’t act for shit. Maybe it had been the same person as not-Miller not-Marius, giving them a break from all of this. Probably giving that entity too much credit, though.

The ballroom dance continued, and Lyf was still in the annoyingly starchy formal uniform of the Transport Police. It didn’t seem quite right that the Transport Police’s formal outfit limited movement, but such was life. They glared at the wall, and it gave them a nice bench to just sit on.

They wished they knew what had happened to Marius and the rest of the Mechanisms after their little- hm. Well. Large blow-up at Harold Paris. They weren’t quite sure what had happened to Harold, but they were fairly certain that they’d been picked up by the Mechanisms, given in this world their braids had changed from crowning their head to a nice and simple sleep braid. Still had stars in it, though. So the Mechanisms were presumably not dead (which would be hard) and not angry enough with him to just leave his unconscious body on the side of the road (easier). They didn’t remember hearing Marius say anything (this time, they were not cradled, but ripped into an endless tide of sensation and knowledge and energy that they had only barely felt anything through. Marius’ arms had helped them find the path back inside, but.)

The weird Not-Marius Not-Miller (did whoever that was have a thing for M names?) had implied that if they’d just kept on going they wouldn’t have needed to go back inside. They probably shouldn’t trust (it/them/he/she/zir/cer/em oh whatever not-Harold would work. It was a good name for a prick) not-Harold but something in them had resonated, hummed a tune of similarity, and that had been hard to shove down. not-Harold hadn’t really explained much, anyways, but at least it seemed like not-Harold also hated or at least disliked Odin and didn’t want to see Lyf set up as a competitor. That was good. They’d rather be dead than used as a puppet by Odin. They’d more rather be back on the Aurora, in the real world or they guessed what not-Harold had called the mortal plane.

Lyf had considered the “what would Marius do” line of thought, but punching the wall hadn’t worked, punching Odin did nothing but make her cause them more pain, and he wasn’t desperate to start psychoanalyzing inanimate objects and was _never_ going to be desperate enough to try flirting. Especially with Odin. Speak of the devil, and she appears.

“Lyfrassir. I’m impressed. But why ballroom dancing?” Lyf shrugged. Sure, if she wanted to think he had done it. She dragged them up by the regrettably fancy outfit’s collar. “Why did you manage to overcome my programming of this place for ballroom dancing?”

“I just wanted a break.” Factually true.

“You’ve gotten plenty of breaks, Lyfrassir. You could have more. I’ve told you that this is all in your control- you can make this stop at any time.” She was seeking eye contact, but they’d learned their lesson on that. “Come now. Do you really want this to continue? I hadn’t pegged you as a masochist. And I should know!”

“Yes, yes, saw my potential through the Bifrost stations, guiding me from a young age, I don’t care, Odin.” She hissed at him, tongue extending as a serpent’s and winding around them. “Again, not going to make me care. Not going to make me do your job. If you wanted someone to roll over and proclaim your name through the galaxies, you should have picked a loyalist.” Ah, they’d gone too far again, were in pieces on the floor, feeling the agony as they slowly crawled together and Odin chewed on their still-feeling leg. Ignoring the fact that they could still feel everything, they were pretty numb to this by now. Odin didn’t even have the technique of the real Paris. She started with her biggest guns and then couldn’t back down from them. Her biggest guns weren’t even that big.

Shitty fucking tyrant. But now he was left alone on the floor of their childhood home to slowly pull back together their fucking body and keep on repeating this same cycle, and they really thought that it wasn’t fair to also have a migraine during this, there was so much _other_ pain going on and this was supposed to be acceptable? Odin was standing over them now, tsk-ing over how long it was taking them to reform, but they had stopped trying, now, laying there in a peaceful if painful mess and wondering what the point was in remaining human besides spite.

Could they beat Odin, if they let go? She had sewn them back together, and was using his mother’s voice to try and convince them to just give it a rest and _try_ Lyf, can’t you just try? Just give it a trial, Lyfrassir, for your mother, look, your mama also wants you to give it a go, if it goes badly you can just quit- they’re so tired of Odin talking.

“ _Shut up_.” And it’s just for a second, but she does, and their eyes gleam and their mouth splits in a grin. “ _Go away and leave me alone_.” And she does. That doesn’t make much sense, honestly. Why would Odin make someone who could compel her? But they’d seen her old speeches, and the Black Box, and knew that Odin loved the sound of her own voice, so.

Hm. Interesting. Maybe there was something to not-Harold’s talk about Odin attempting to control them. Odin kept on saying that they were her child, which, ew, no, space tyrants who did horrifying medical experiments and had horrible systems of government did not get to replace their actual moms, thanks, but surely if she was, somehow, their weird eldritch parent, there’d be more of a connection? There would be that resonance of not-Harold, and, well, if they were Odin, they wouldn’t make a child they couldn’t control. Thoughts to think while you were counting how long it took for Odin to come back. It didn’t take _that_ long for her to come back, but Lyfrassir shoved a quick nap in there and was ready when she came back.

They had some power in this situation now. Let’s see how they could apply it. Odin came back, and the room started to shift, but Lyf grabbed it and held, pulling back, shoving his desire to remain in his family home for just a bit longer, take comfort from it and be what was still, despite her efforts, a safe space.

Odin ended up on the side of the room that looked like the police station. Lyf remained sitting on their family’s comfy couch, in the living room. There wasn’t really any reason to get up. They weren’t going to give Odin that respect. She snarled at them, uncoiled into the serpent that they had seen on the Black Box, and filled her room. Just her side of the room. Interesting. She thrashed and yelled at them, as they wondered about those implications.

“Ungrateful spawn, ungrateful child, I made you, from your DNA to your exposure to the Bifrost, I can unmake you, stop throwing this childish tantrum, I will ensure that you will receive no privacy for the rest of your existence, you will be ridden by squamous things like ticks that you cannot _remove_ child, they will drain you for the rest of your existence and leave just enough for you to complete my tasks, you will feed my own essence so much more directly than planned, _let me in_!”

Odin’s compulsion rolled off Lyf. Besides that, it was mostly a boring repetition of what they had already heard while being dissected, and Lyf didn’t know why she thought it would do any better when they weren’t under the knife. Lyf yawned, obnoxiously, and Odin screamed. The migraine was getting worse, but that was probably to be expected. Doing something eldritch would cause the- the hatching pressure, maybe? Is that what it was? Was Lyfrassir causing their own migraines pressing against his mortal limits? Oh, fuck, maybe not-Harold did have a point. Lyf’s concentration broke, and Odin struck, grabbed them in her mouth, shook them like a dog with a toy, and interestingly to them it hurt but it felt divorced, now, from what it should be. The nerves were still there, but the input wasn’t quite coming through. Which they prefered to actually feeling Odin’s teeth.

Odin dropped them, and they lay there and made the appropriate scared noises as she drooled. Are serpents supposed to have drool? They were _nearly_ certain that wasn’t the case. Serpents weren’t supposed to have enough liquid in them to drool. So Odin was just doing it for the effect. It wasn’t even a very dramatic effect. It’s not like she couldn’t just jab them with venom or poison or something.

“Are you experiencing a respiratory infection?” Ah, should’ve kept their mouth shut. On the other hand, Odin looked confused.

“What are you talking about? I am an eldritch god!”

“Snakes don’t drool unless they’ve had a lot of water or if they’re sick. So, I’m taking a guess, since I’ve never seen you eat or drink. Just manifest a glass of ‘wine’, ” oh they were digging a deeper hole using finger quotes, “so that you can throw it dramatically around. So if you’re not drinking, it’s got to be because of a respiratory infection. You should get that checked out. Are there eldritch doctors that you can see?” Odin picked him up (Asgardian again, great, like she really needed hands) and shook him.

“I am not drooling! I am secreting venom dramatically!”

“You’re definitely not. If it was venom it would affect me. Or poison. I think you’re just drooling.” Odin tossed them back to the floor. They stood up and brushed themself off, fixing the holes in their clothing in the process. “It’s not embarrassing, I’m sure that’s just what you have to adapt to when you turn yourself into a, uh, snake thing. I’m sure that if I end up looking like some sort of animal there’ll be things I have to get used to but you should just admit when you have a problem.” Odin was quite literally incandescent with rage. Lyf kind of wondered if they could fry marshmallows on her, but decided to continue pushing their luck. “You mentioned Thor being around at one point? Did he hit you in the nostrils? Because that would really ruin your day, I’d think, as a snake-” The man in question burst through the wall and started clobbering her.

Lyf cheered. It felt like the only thing to do. They also manifested Thor a new hammer when after the first couple of whacks his broke. It was just polite and the enemy of your enemy was a temporary friend even if he had been part of the same repressive regime. As long as he didn’t try anything. Manifested guns hadn’t done anything to Odin before, but there was something else worth a shot.

“Odin!” Lyf waved an arm at her. She looked at them.

“What, skitstövel?”

“ _Stay still._ ” And Odin froze in place, and Lyf felt the pressure blossom behind their head, and it was just pressure now, which makes it easier and harder to deal with. No pain, but when there’s no pain keeping the cork in the bottle is so much harder, but Thor is well-practiced in killing Odin at this point and it’s less than a minute before Lyfrassir is able to stop holding the compulsion on Odin and collapse. There’s no environment, now, just twisted debris and rainbow backing. Lyf makes Thor a comfy chair. It seems like a nice gesture. Then they lie down on a mattress that they form.

“Who and what the hell are you, that you can do that?” Thor was still holding his hammer with a white-knuckled grip, and not sitting in the chair. That’s reasonable. They get that.

“Lyfrassir Edda. Also touched by the Bifrost, doing my best to tell Odin to fuck off. Not a great job, admittedly, but getting better ever since I figured out I can compel her.” Thor sits in the chair.

“Well. Thanks for the hammer.” Thor scratches at his beard- it’s gotten long and unkempt and Lyf manifests a beard trimmer in front of him. “And for those, too. Lyfrassir Edda... You know a- hm. Bastard didn’t mention his name. Bad fashion sense, scruffy hair, just one goggle? Metal arm, I think, but then he also had a glove on and his fingers looked flesh, so. Who knows.”

“... Did he have a violin on him?”

“Mm, no, but at one point it did look like he was about to pull one out. Got into position and then looked very upset that there was no violin.” Lyf brightens. That sounds like Marius. There was probably no reason for Odin to impersonate Marius in front of Thor. Then they realize what that means for Marius, and bolt upright on the mattress.

“Marius is in here? Why! How! Why again! What the fuck!” Lyf realizes they’re waving their hands around and manifesting pieces of paperwork and sits back down on the mattress and groans. “Sorry. You probably didn’t have time to find any of that out.”

“Mm. No.” Thor speaks over the buzz of the beard trimmers. “Got some information about what happened to the Yggdrasil system, found out that the poor sod I saw Odin tormenting occasionally before she ran away from my hammer again was you, and there was some message. Give me a moment.” Thor finishes trimming his sideburns and gets out the attached snippers to actually trim the length of his beard.

“Oh. So that’s why she would just disappear occasionally. Thanks for the breaks, I suppose. I appreciated them. Although she’s pretty shit at trying to psychologically manipulate me.” Thor snorts.

“Yes, she is at that. She keeps on telling me that what I’m doing is pointless and worthless, like I don’t know that already.”

“Mmm. Yes, I saw the Black Box recording. I feel like if someone yells fuck you and fuck your train at you you should realize that maybe it’s more a personal hatred thing at that point.”

“Ah. Did that get passed around, then? Your Marius also mentioned seeing it.” Thor sighs. “Well, I happen to know there’s worse fates than having something you’ve said memorialized.”

“Oh, no. I suppose sort of? It’s part of the album now, according to the lyrics I got sent a while back, but no one but me and the Mechanisms has actually seen the Black Box. I was investigating it. Which was a pretty crap job, honestly, but that’s what happens when you’re the only one the out-of-system prisoners will talk to at this point and also it does technically fall under the purview of the transport police.” Thor finishes up with the trimmers.

“They made a whole new section of the police to handle transport crimes?” Lyf nodded. “Without even knowing about the biggest transport crime of all?” Lyf nodded again. “Well, that sucks. The overthrow of Odin’s rule and the whole system of government, well, we all saw it coming and had plans, but a whole new branch of the police founded after their biggest crime would ever be committed and dying right after they find out?” Thor sighs. “That’s just ironic, isn’t it?”

“It’s a bit hard to appreciate the irony when you’re the one who didn’t investigate fast enough to get any sort of evacuation going but I’ll take your word for it.” Lyf looks around. Odin does not appear to be nearby. “How long does it typically take her to regenerate?” Thor shrugs.

“Well, first I have to find her, so I don’t actually know how soon I’m finding her after she comes back, so that’s not much help. I think it’s generally taking a bit for me to find her, since this time I hit a wall and bounced off instead of realizing a bit too late that I was in a different section of the Bifrost. Can you manifest mead?”

“I can, but there’s a line between being nice and letting you boss me around and I did take decades of classes that emphasized how shit Asgardian rule was.” Thor frowns.

“Fair, I suppose. Not much point in trying to threaten you about it. Oh, right, the message. I don’t suppose you’d trade?”

“Message first. Then mead.” Extorting fucker. What did he expect from an Asgardian ruler.

“Your Marius said “I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner”. That’s all.” Lyf frowns, but they do manifest a mug of mead for Thor, the bastard. He takes a long sip.

“Thank you. I should get going to figure out where Odin has reformed. Her realm isn’t that large, when you get used to it. Especially with whatever barrier is in place now.” Thor drained the mead, hooked the tankard onto his belt, grabbed the hammer, and jumped off into space. Lyf lost sight of him pretty quickly in the rainbow. Strange, strange man. Lyfrassir lay back down on the mattress. The pressure ache hadn’t gone all the way away. There’s still a pressure, in their whole body now, to split, to hatch, and they don’t know if they’d be under Odin’s control.

Not-Harold really was kind of a dick for not mentioning what the hell that even meant. Very nice of Not-Harold to mention Odin trying to control them, and suggest that they’d be able to retain their body if they hatched properly, but not so nice to not give any of the fucking details. Lots of confusing information and not quite enough to figure out how to act on it. Fucking eldritch beings. Even the Mechanisms were slightly more straightforward.

Lyf decided to get up and start walking. Maybe it would delay Odin. If nothing else, it was something to do as they pondered. They had compelled Odin, which probably couldn’t work if you were actually under someone’s control? It didn’t make sense to leave your wished-for subordinates any way to fight back, and they were pretty certain that Odin wouldn’t let that happen. They were also starting to exhibit more control over the environment. Thor had called this place Odin’s realm, and the Crawling Chaos had said that they weren’t actually Odin’s eldritch child, so they shouldn’t have any control over this place unless they were imposing it. Odin wouldn’t give him any abilities that she didn’t absolutely need them to have, they were certain, and there were no abilities that they needed to have if they weren’t going to start working for her.

Thor flew by in the distance. He waved. Lyf waved back. Why did he get to run into Thor twice but Marius, who was apparently somehow in here (the idiot, Lyf loved him, why would you follow someone into a place like this) they had seen not at all? Maybe if they kept on walking. The pressure kept on growing, and the temptation to just rip free grew with it.

Odin was still nowhere to be seen. So they went looking. Sometimes you had to seize your problem, write a resignation letter, and tell that problem that you were hereby disavowing any responsibility for it, and hopefully run away with some space pirates. Or just grab it and grind it beneath your heel. Lyf wasn’t sure what type of problem Odin was going to be yet, but either way, they had had just about enough, and if they could control the environment and control the Odin, then they would have the upper hand and they could be the one forcing answers out of someone else. Lyfrassir took off, abandoning the use of legs to begin moving faster as they covered space, stopping in their path only when they ran into the barrier that Thor had mentioned before continuing in the other direction, listening to instincts that they knew weren’t human telling them how to claim a space and make it _theirstheirstheirs_ pulling it from Odin and into themself and Odin may have had longer but she had never had to fight for anything in her life and they’d never thought police interrogation training and willpower tests would be useful outside the force but they certainly wouldn’t complain, flying through the Bifrost and taking it in and pressure built, built, built.

In the distance, a compass needle went wild, and the man following it stopped and watched in confusion as it ceased to give any useful instructions. It went around, in arcs of 10, 20, 50, 90, 180, 200, 360 degrees- around and around- and he wondered what Lyfrassir was doing. If Odin hadn’t moved them, this had to be under their own free will, and as he waited, cleaning off his clothes and armor, scraping the guts of the beings dumb enough to attack someone with the time of an immortal to become practiced in fighting.

The Bifrost hummed around the man, as it had been, and slowly the tune changed from something that scraped at the man’s ears, off-key, notes never coming when they were meant to, the sensation of voice and instrument out of time but separately, to something that calmed and steadied the man, made the thought of the path ahead not seem so daunting, and it wasn’t until it changed that the man even realized that it was there.

The compass needle settled, and the man set off again.

The more of Odin’s realm Lyfrassir claimed, the more pleased the veil that surrounded it felt when they came near. Cracks had spread across their body, seeping rainbow light, and the pressure was barely withstandable, but as they finally claimed the last of the realm, Odin appeared in front of them, a serpent and a train merged, a true form revealed, and inside her body the torment of the Ragnarok Express continued, over and over, the Asgardian and Midgardian lives inside it living and perishing and dying again and fueling their tyrant. Loki and Sif’s imprints were there, things that could not feel or think or be, acting out their roles, in place of the two that had escaped beyond Odin’s reach, and Odin’s eye was a lantern was an eye was a lantern shining the path, creating the track in front of it, and her body was scaled was gilded was both and all, and she took up all the space, and Lyfrassir thought that was rather rude, as they were pressed against the barrier of their own realm. 

Odin thrashed, attempted to rend the barrier, screamed rage and injected venom and all it did was flex and laugh at her efforts, and Lyf decided that they had had enough of her trying to bruise him, and this was _theirs_ now, and pushed in on her, and she shrunk, a small snake of a thing, no longer a serpent, and it wasn’t hard at all to manifest a floor, reshape the realm to their wants and comfort, but as they pressed down she changed shape, twisted off the floor, and was trying to throttle him now with her own hands.

Did they need to breathe? They weren’t sure. It didn’t seem to matter, and it wouldn’t for a while, anyways. Odin was so enraged she had forgotten her own modifications (it was amusing to watch her work herself into a fluster over the fact that they didn’t need oxygen when she was the reason they didn’t) and was just shaking them, trying to get a response. They were slammed into the door to the Holt by her, thrown out of the Holt and onto the shittily carpeted floor of the transport office, and it really didn’t do much, didn’t even widen the cracks, the pressure equalized for now, a steady in and out. In the background, their coworkers replaced by squamous things, the transport office ran smoothly, like it always had. The Holt hummed, ready to go, organized and _theirs_ because this was their space, now. They saw threads, dancing from Odin to them, and they saw her desperately try to manipulate them, tug them into her embrace, and they gently reached out and snapped them. Odin reeled back, pulled out a knife, manifested a knife? And stabbed at him, dragging the knife down their torso, but this was what was right, and this was the apotheosis.

They saw what the Crawling Chaos had meant as they reached out, freeing themself and rending through their shell. They were so much more now, and for a moment they flickered through tens dozens hundreds of forms, settling finally on their new form to do battle with. They picked up their own remains, cradled them in new arms, and then consumed them (no waste), and rose before Odin, as she writhed back upwards to meet them, a serpent a train trying to entwine them and opened her mouth to devour them (if she couldn’t control them then they wouldn’t be given a chance, she wouldn’t suffer another from her people to rise) but Lyfrassir could see so much more now. No wonder Odin had always found them, no wonder it always took a while for Thor to find her if she could see all of this. They could see that the veil was not a construct, but made of the Crawling Chaos-

_thank you, cousin, already better than odin :^)_

They threw shielding around their thoughts, but still felt the amusement of the God of a Thousand Forms, who was wrapped around their realm, ensuring that there was no way out of this but the death of one or the other (and it would be Odin) (they would go back with Marius) and based on what the Crawling Chaos had said, if they died then so did Odin.

Lyfrassir twists out of Odin’s coiling grasp, flexing new muscles and new appendages (so _many_ new legs who needed eight sets, a set of arms that felt strangely rigid and ready to punch, 3 more sets of arms, what were they all _for_ , and that wasn’t even getting into the plethora of tentacles) feeling shell slide against shell, more durable and yet smoother than they thought shell was supposed to be, a fan of tentacles in all shapes and sizes spreading from the tail that they now had, eyes on stalks at their head and eyes embedded in their body, bright fans spreading, a dazzling spread of blues and greens and lavenders, and Odin launched herself at them again and they realized that oh. That’s what those arms were for. New instincts kicked in and they speared- pulled close- cracked Odin open, listened to her screams, and disengaged when her essence started seeping into their realm. As she fell, they swam around her falling form, drinking it up. Feel your new tentacles spread as though in non existent water.

She falls, and lands on the floor, but she is still alive, and they are confused, and reach out, looking for guidance-

_I’m afraid you’re a bit far down the generational line to be able to kill each other without help at your age, Lyfrassir :o)_

They punch through her in frustration, and she just reforms, back in a human form, coughing up shades of those on the train, swiping out with an arm-turned-sword, rising back up again, striking, fangs into their belly, shoving past and piercing, and they rip off half of her tail, and watch her reform as they purge the poison, and it’s already clear that they’ll need to determine how to kill her if this isn’t working, and as Odin lashes at them, attempting to inflict damage and rebounding off of a shell and becoming torn apart by arms and tentacles and mouth in return, they wonder where the secret is. The Crawling Mist had seemed quite certain that either ce would have to kill Odin and Lyfrassir or Lyfrassir would be able to kill Odin, so what was the variable that they were missing?

Becoming a serpent of rage and hunger had not actually helped Odin’s sense of strategy, so at least they were able to consider the problem as they fought her without taking much damage. There were many differences between the two of them, obviously, but what aspect did Lyfrassir specifically have that would change this? They reached out and carefully dropped the information in front of the Faceless God, who apparently had had time to download all of aer titles into their mind.

_i can’t give you that many hints, cousin >:3c! oh, watch your mortal, you nearly rammed Odin into him! funny way for him to die after all of this :~) _

Lyf threw Odin into the air and speared her in place as she came down and held her there as she squirmed with a spear-hand through the skull. They had so, so many eyes, and they started using all of them not to look at Odin and get glimpses of past/present/future to fight but to look, desperately, for Marius Von Raum, in the constantly reforming rubble of the transport office. Wait. Marius was immortal. None of the Mechanisms had ever mentioned being worried about permanent death in the Bifrost (although to be fair, how much had they talked with them about it) and there was no reason for their immortality to not be in effect in this realm. Why the hell- Marius. Odin and Lyf both had a mortal dragged into this realm (oh fuck what effect was this ascension going to have on Marius? Could they drag him back out with them) and they were being treated very differently.

Thor hated Odin, and couldn’t kill her, no matter how much she tried. Lyf also hated Odin, and couldn’t kill her, apparently, unless they were willing to keep this up for Crawling Chaos knew how long and they weren’t. Willing to do so.

Hm. Thor and Odin would never work together, but Lyf and Marius... If Lyf could find Marius, and create enough of a distraction to talk to him... form a plan. Lyf threw Odin, warped the space around her, and sent her to the other side of the realm before throwing up copies upon copies of the station opaquing them against even their site. They shrunk and folded themself back and it was kind of nice to only have four limbs again. They couldn’t see Odin, but they could still feel the whole realm, and she definitely couldn’t see them. The Crawling Chaos had decided the proper course of action was to manifest an eyeball or two or ten around Lyfrassir to look around. Whatever. Lyfrassir started to yell.

“Marius? Marius! Marius Von Raum, I will manifest your pain-in-the-ass self as many violins as you want whenever you want if you will be alive and hearing this!” Lyf paused. They were hopefully going to regret that. But they heard nothing in response. Lyf cursed, and took off through the hallways of the transport office, more winding than they used to be, less geometrical regular, but familiar all the same. If this- no, don’t let doubt it. This was their realm, and where would they have put Marius, in rearranging all of it? They found a staircase and started running downstairs, down to the basement, that’s where they’d kept the Mechanisms, long-term prison cells, they’d been the only ones there for decades since it had been deemed inhumane to keep other prisoners with them, and Lyf gave up and just jumped down the stairwell. They didn’t have time to get from the top floor to the basement with feet.

“Good morning, Lyf! Wanted to make sure I didn’t go anywhere?” Marius was leaning against the bars of the prison cell, bloodied and tired and just scuffed to hell and back but alive, and it was him grinning at Lyfrassir. Lyf could see that now, didn’t think anyone but the Floating Horror would be able to fool them, and they reached out and gathered Marius into a hug, dismissing the bars of the cell. It wasn’t as soft as normal.

“Where did you get wooden armor?” Lyf squinted at the chest plate. “Made out of... teeth? Is the Toy Soldier in here?” Marius laughed, and the sound was so nice to hear again.

“No, the Toy Soldier isn’t here. As far as I know, at least. I told it to try and help you, and I guess it interpreted that as teeth armor? But you don’t have any.” Marius pulls back slightly, and Lyf doesn’t chase after the hug since Marius just transitions it into a side-hug and pulls out a sword. “I also got this, which has been nice, since weird shit like burst into the Ratatosk Express had been trying to kill me for a while. They stopped recently, which was weird but nice. And a gun! But only six bullets, which does not seem like enough to kill much of anything.” Lyf can feel the gun digging into their side. They don’t care. They’re not moving.

“And you’re- alright? I don’t- how did you get here?” Marius shrugs.

“Fell asleep cuddling you so that hopefully you didn’t disappear, woke up here. Well, when I say fell asleep, I mean Raph sent TS to sedate me.” Lyf laughs. That’s a strange thing to find normal, but it’s what they’re doing. Taking comfort in the normality of Marius getting shot somehow. “Oh, well, you think it’s funny, I shot myself in the leg after that.”

“And how did you do that?” Lyf leans further into Marius.

“It’s hard to aim well when a sedative is taking effect. That’s all I’ll say. That and I'm going to get Ashes to give the Toy Soldier some very comprehensive orders about not accepting orders from eldritch beings from now on.” Marius pats Lyf’s shoulder. “Except you.”

“Oh. I, uh. Met another one? Who’s a dick but about on the same level as all of you Mechanisms, so. not-Harold--- well. I-- there’s only a title? But another eldritch entity snuck in while Odin was somewhere else and talked with me.” Lyf realized they couldn’t physically get closer to Marius with breaking the laws of physics and that might be a bit disconcerting for him. “Gave me some advice and some information and is now making it so no one can leave until Odin’s dead, one way or the other. Started out trying to look like you but got some details wrong and shifted to Miller. My old boss.” Marius shifted and leaned his head onto Lyf’s.

“Yeah, when we’re not in the Bifrost I would like to hear more about you quit. Thought you were married to your job and then you up and quit? Also, we should talk about how you should definitely come with us. But maybe first talk about how to kill Odin, and also just real quick I think I also met that entity. Looked like me the whole time, which was kinda funny, except I think I also saw the bastard pretending to be me out there, so.” Lyf glared at one of the manifested eyes (could Marius see them?) and it winked. “Gave me a compass that helped me get pretty close to finding you, though! And did some weird shit to my teeth bullets. And said I could use them to kill Odin, but she seems pretty big and not exactly killable with teeth?” Lyf heard a crash in the distance.

“Ah. We should get going- that’s probably Odin.” Lyf tugged Marius towards the exit.

“Can’t you just-” Marius waved his free hand around randomly at the walls. “I mean, given that it’s your place of work, I sort of assumed you did this.”

“I. Yeah, but I don’t really know how long it will stop her now since she’s probably healed. And it’s not like we’ve got a plan on how to kill her, although I was thinking about it, and, uh, based on very little information I’m going to say your gun and aim is going to be very important when it comes to actually murdering her.” Marius grins at him, wide and happy.

“I think that’s the first time someone’s actually made me the lynchpin of a plan! I won’t let you down.” Marius starts checking the gun and the bullets as Lyf guides him through the hallways, further away from the crashing and screaming of Odin. He finishes, puts away his gun, and squeezes Lyf’s hand. “Hey, not that seeing you beat her up as a weird sea creature thing wasn’t hot, but I don’t actually know the weak points of snake trains? I mean, I’d say the eye, but that’s also a weird train lantern occasionally, and I don’t actually know if shattering that would do anything.” Lyf pauses and looks at Marius.

“You, uh, saw that?” Marius tugs them back into motion. The screams have gotten closer, threats of dismemberment and death. Odin is not getting more creative.

“Yeah! But given that you’re not getting killed, I’m going to guess that I don’t have to worry about that fucker’s threats about killing you if you were under Odin’s control, so that’s fine!” Marius grabs Lyf into a quick moving hug. “And we have complementary color schemes!” He squeezes them tighter and they grab back, lightening their weight, they don’t want to stop the hug. “I’m just saying that for the purposes of me shooting Odin that’s going to get a bit dicey.” Marius carefully swings them back out and they start running again.

“Well. If I stay human she’ll probably stay human, she’s been mirroring whatever I do. I can compel her, so I can make her stay in place long enough for you to get a clear shot. Is there an environment that would be best for you?” Marius shrugged.

“Anything with a lot of cover? Since I don’t have a sniper rifle here and I’ve only got six bullets. I don’t think I can just take teeth from any random person and load them in.”

“No, probably not. Hm.” Lyf reached out in front, looking for a good place to twist the environment, but that was silly, they didn’t need a good place, and focused, and they burst into the amphitheatre, full of seats and with a center stage surrounded by seats, changed to be set into the floor, not above it, and Marius nodded, and took off, hiding behind seats. Lyf went to the stage. It was the sort of setting that Odin would appreciate. Hm. Lyf reached out, discarded the walls, and grew the amphitheatre to be the world, and as Odin undulated towards Lyf, they found Thor, and pulled him in, from across the realm to in front of Odin, and he was very quick on the uptake. This was what he was now: the man who fought Odin.

Lyfrassir really didn’t know how to fight as a human. They knew how to shoot, and throw a punch (theoretically, they hadn’t in decades) but the transport police weren’t really about fights. So if he had to meet Odin and fight her, it didn’t feel unfair to phone a would-be despot and launch him into her face. They deliberately didn’t go looking for Marius, didn’t want to put any amount of attention on him.

Marius would do what he needed to. Lyf absolutely trusted him to do this, and to undermine him by perhaps dragging Odin’s attention to him would be unfair. The desperate urge to not let him go and know exactly what he was doing and watch him and know him was going to have to get mastered anyways. They might as well start now.

Odin and Thor danced the well-known steps of their fight, and Lyfrassir watched them, and waited for their time to step in and take it to the stage. As Thor was about to land another final blow, Lyf whisked him off, and Odin collapsed into her human form and clawed at Lyf’s chest, trying to manifest a dagger as Lyf kept on removing them from her hands, dredging up knowledge from school that they had never actually had to use on how to bring in a resisting subject, which was easier when you had the ability to manifest any tools you wanted to use and also when a tyrant and their family had spent years genetically modifying everyone and one of the things that had come out of that was a punch that could boil water.

Lyf wondered if she had never expected that to come back to bite her. They caught a glimpse of Marius, and he gave them a thumbs-up, and they pushed Odin down and looked her in the eyes, meeting power with power, and whispered “ _stay still_ ” before rolling off and throwing their own thumbs-up into the air, and they heard a crack and watched Odin’s eye burst, followed by neat holes all around and in her heart, and watched as power began to seep out of her and she made no move to get it back. The curtain surrounding them coalesced, and the Crawling Chaos descended and feasted and Lyf expanded and changed to cover Marius both in a hug and in their own energy, shielding him from the sight. The realm began to shudder and contract, and the power poured into Lyf as the space-time disappeared. The Face Eater finished, and grinned at Lyfrassir.

“Very well done, Cousin. Although you got Thor killed, and rather permanently now that there’s no role for him. Somewhat sloppy of you, but I suppose as a child it’s all I can expect.” Marius wriggled out from under Lyfrassir’s shell-belly and climbed on top of them.

“I think I did quite well with the amount of information I had.” Marius was playing with one of their weird fan-arm tentacles now. As Lyfrassir was calming down, they were beginning to feel more sensation from their body, and they twitched the tentacle away. “Anything else you want to mention before we have to figure out how to get back?” The Black Wind wiped some remains of Odin off of one mouth.

“You can go back just by wanting to. Pick where you want to be. At some point I’ll be by to teach you a bit more. It’ll be fun!” Lyfrassir shuddered. There was a lot more to shudder with when you had eye stalks and so many legs and arms and sections of body. “Tell the Toy Soldier it was very helpful. Although probably don’t pass on my apology that I wasn’t fun to torture.” Marius perked up on Lyf’s back.

“Wait, you got tortured? I feel better about the fact that I could see you impersonating me now.”

“Well, I had time to kill. What would you have done?”

“... Probably some chaos, so that’s fair.” Marius slumped back down on Lyf’s back like a small weighted blanket. “Do you want your compass back? I used all the bullets.” Ce picked at a different set of teeth than the mouth that had needed to be wiped.

“No. You might as well keep it. Won’t do anything except eat it if you give it back.”

“Is that your response to everything? Eating it? You’re as bad as Jonny. Not everything is edible.”

“You don’t have a medical degree, and I’m not human anyways.” Lyf, desperate to escape this conversation, bolted upright in bed while Marius startled awake and fell off the side.

“That’s becoming a trend. This bed is two for two on people falling out of it when they wake up in my experience.” Marius yawned. “Should I be tired after technically sleeping for all of that?” Lyf shrugged and reached down to pull him back up into the bed. “Thanks.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t sleep at all during that, so it’s probably reasonable if you’re tired.” Marius leaned into Lyf’s shoulder.

“Mmm. You tired?” Lyf wasn’t, actually, but they were alright with cuddling with Marius, so they nodded and slid back down with Marius. Probably it wasn’t a very eldritch use of eldritch powers to freshen up your bed and the people in it but Marius nuzzled into them and hugged them, so it was a good use of power for Lyfrassir.

It also definitely wasn’t very eldritch to stay up and cuddle your boyfriend and make sure that nothing weird came and tried to fuck with his dreams, but Lyfrassir was not accepting complaints. When Marius had settled into a deep sleep, Lyf realized they had no idea where the hell their phone was.

So the obvious answer was to manifest a phone.

  
  


**child warfare:**

Yeah no it’s really cute I just got a class photo of all of them and a letter from everyone and apparently they’re leading a revolution now! I’m so proud <3

**Big Bold Beautiful:**

Can confirm I’m also looking at it right now

**child warfare:**

Aurora is nothing sacred? Can I not simply enjoy a photo of children that I have trained into being able to run a successful revolution? Ashes gets to enjoy Fiona

**Ashes o’Do Not Disturb:**

Fiona is enjoying herself and also we’re dropping her off with family in like two days give me this Tim. Give me this. Or I will not give you anything.

**the mantis shrimp of marius’ dreams:**

Does this mean that we’re still in-system or what else have Marius and I missed

Why. How. Who.

**Metal Jesus:**

Occasional prophetic powers it’s fine

Yeah we’re still in system Ashes agreed to give Fiona a ride back to her like. Birthplanet or whatever it’s called here.

Does this mean real Marius is also back

**the mantis shrimp of marius’ dreams:**

Yeah. We’re both back. Touching and horrifying dream-venture through a part of the Bifrost that odin controlled

**Creative Commons 4.0 License:**

Controlled?

**Brain Nest:**

owo tell me more

**the mantis shrimp of marius’ dreams:**

tl;dr some other eldritch entity wanted to fuck odins shit dont really know why

Told me how to get my own shit together

Marius and I killed Odin

Insert a ton of very shitty psychological & physical torture on my part i did not ask marius

But he did have weird wooden tooth armor and a gun and sword so @LittleGenerals thanks

**LittleGenerals:**

Oh! Jolly Good! Glad To Have Been Of Assistance!

**the mantis shrimp of marius’ dreams:**

I’m going to see if I can still nap now. Marius is asleep because we technically weren’t sleeping that whole time. Anyone who disturbs us is getting punched, @Creative Commons 4.0 License can tell you how good yggdrasillians are at punching

**Creative Commons 4.0 License:**

They can boil water, it’s very interesting and I’ve been meaning to ask for a demonstration for Raphaella

**Brain Nest:**

babe <3

**Jonny d’Banned:**

Does this mean the who can go longest without sleep competition is back on

**Big Bold Beautiful:**

No

**Jonny d’Banned:**

but

_Big Bold Beautiful has banned Jonny d’Banned for 8 hour(s)_

**Metal Jesus:**

The prophecy

It’s come true

**the mantis shrimp of marius’ dreams:**

I can’t believe I missed this.

Lyf chucked their phone onto the bedside counter and threw their free arm back around Marius. At some point, Anarchy had crawled in, her high-vis vest a bit tattered, and was curled at Lyf’s back, purring and happy.

It turned out that they could still sleep, which was quite soothing until they woke up to Marius panicking at the replicator, but after everything, even that was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is more art! I am dying! Thank you for looking at my words and going "let's make art of them"
> 
> Art of the Mechs fucking shit up from Chapter 15: https://disheveledapathy.tumblr.com/post/613766634092560384/no-violins-allowed-fanart-back-in-the-far-superior
> 
> Another Lyf with great braids and rainbow stars: https://two-am-art.tumblr.com/post/613877513556541441/inspector-lyf


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to decompress and communicate, with each other and those around them

Marius whispered quiet swearwords at the replicator. It did not stop. It kept on producing smoke. It was not stopping. He had found the power button, and gotten a big no sign which he sort of vaguely remembered from his time in prison there. Or at least he was pretty sure that was the no sign and not the caution sign. He wasn’t sure. In any case, it was making a high pitched screaming noise at him, and the smoke was starting to turn colors.

He had been nice and clean after a shower, and now he was getting smokey and sooty all over from the replicator. There was no way to disconnect it that he could find. His fake fingers were melting and he was going to have to get them replaced and he hadn’t even gotten to do anything fun with them besides zapping them on the wiring. As he continued to swear, another hand snaked around and started messing with the replicator.

“Marius, I had this thing child-proofed, how did you manage this?” Lyf started replacing things in the replicator and swiping at the screen. “You got it replicating smoke, over and over. You’re not supposed to be able to replicate anything on this setting without knowing how to work it. You don’t even understand the language!” Marius shrugged and slumped over Lyf’s back as they worked the machine.

“I wanted to make you breakfast and I thought the worst thing that could happen was I would make something inedible you’d feed back in since you don’t actually have a kitchen and I don’t want to go use the kitchen.” Lyf grumbled and continued fiddling. “Actually, speaking of reasons to not use the kitchen, does everyone else know that we’re awake, now?”

“Haven’t you checked your phone?” Marius dangled his phone in front of Lyf. It was squirming. “Oh, your phone goes a bit squamous and you can’t use it now.” Lyf plucked it from Marius’ fingers and their own glowed a bit and his phone was normal again. They handed it back up. “Thanks, love you.” Lyf flushed. 

“Love you too, Marius.” Aw, that was cute, they manifested a ruffle of tentacles around their neck. The tentacles started curling around Marius, which was very soothing, actually. Marius scrolled through the group chat, skimming around and catching up. It was pretty boring, so halfway through Marius reached up to tangle his fingers in the tentacles. Lyf jumped and they disappeared. 

“Aw. Hey, though, you can make things here. Calling it the real world feels rude since we definitely did a bunch of real things in there but also this is what I’m used to, so. Hm. Not-eldritch plane?” Lyf shrugged and leaned up to peck Marius on the cheek.

“The Crawling Chaos just called this the mortal plane.” The replicator had stopped screaming and the smoke had all dispersed. “There. Please don’t touch it until I teach you how to work it. It’s got to cool down now.” Lyf turned around and properly hugged Marius. “Mmm. You stole my bodywash.”

“Well I didn’t want to leave and not hear it if you woke up and thought I had disappeared or something. So... breakfast in the Aurora’s kitchen? What time is it?” Marius craned his head to see if there was a clock on the Holt’s walls.

“Again, I fixed your phone.” Lyf was speaking into Marius’ chest.

“Funny that you think I have it set on any time zone that makes sense. And everyone else’ll be on ship standard now, probably. S’what we do when we’re travelling. Hey, if you can manifest tentacles do you think you can go full shrimp?” Lyf sighed and started tugging Marius out of the Holt.

“Come make me breakfast and then afterwards we can find out.” Marius moved up to guide Lyf through the Aurora, holding hands.

“Why afterwards? Can’t you try transforming while I make it?”

“Well, I like the Aurora, and I would rather not either get squashed or break through her walls, so no.” Marius frowned.

“Odin controlled her size, so I bet you can too.”

“I would still rather practice not where it could cause damage to the Aurora. We can tether the Holt to Aurora and then go out and see what I can do.” Marius shrugged.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with. Oh! You can test and see if you change your own size? Your own normal size is perfect, obviously, but it’s a good test and then maybe I just want to surprise someone and pretend that you are permanently a normal-sized eldritch mantis shrimp now.” Lyf buried their face in their free hand and started laughing. “Yeah, see? I think it would be a great prank especially since the Aurora is not a snitch, except to Nastya, who is not a snitch.”

“Fine. Give me a moment. Just in case there’s someone in the kitchen.” Lyf took their hand back- oh. Hey. When had Marius’ fingers gotten fixed? They weren’t melted now. Hm.

“Did you fix my fingers, Lyfrassir?” Lyf’s eyes snapped open and looked at Marius and now they were only 6 inches tall and looking up at Marius, and it was pretty surprising that he could hear them. Marius waggled the fake silicone fingers at them.

“I- guess I did? Oh. This is shorter than I was aiming for, but I guess it’s good proof of concept.” Lyf floated up until he was at eye level with Marius.

“I just, well,” Lyf started wringing their hands, “your fingers looked melted and I panicked a bit. And you didn’t say anything about it but I thought maybe it was just an immortal thing and I just didn’t want you to be in pain.” Lyf’s voice was still normal pitch and volume, so that had to be some sort of weird eldritch thing. There was no other way for their vocal chords to be doing that. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked, that was bad of me, but also I really don’t want to undo it.” Marius smiled, aiming for reassuring.

“I mean, it was painful, but I am used to it. I was just going to swap my fingers out. Haven’t used the metal ones for a while, so it was about time for a change anyways.” Lyf took a deep breath in- Marius could see his tiny chest rise- and then let it back out.

“You’re telling me that all this time I’ve been assuming you had flesh fingers on your metal fucking hand and it was just silicone.” Marius nods. “I hate that. I hate this fact. It was better when I knew this wasn’t a choice you were making.”

“We can go to my room and I can put on my metal fingers? Would that, uh, be better? For you? I can do that.” Lyf shrieked quietly into their hands. “You okay?” Lyf finished up their shriek and took another deep breath.

“I’m fine now. Sure. Yes. Metal fingers. Let’s go.”

“Are you going to hover along with me or do you want to sit on my shoulder or do you want to finish figuring out if you can go mantis shrimp and then sit on my shoulder?” Lyf made a weird sort of strangled noise. “Is that a weird offer?” Marius wasn’t really sure what to do with his hands in this situation. Normally he’d try a shoulder clasp, or grab Lyf’s hand to squeeze it in reassurance, or, you know, literally anything that was impossible when Lyf was tiny. So he ended up copying Lyf and wringing his hands nervously while Lyf said nothing. “Lyf?”

“It’s. Just a lot. And you keep on taking it really calmly, which is! Not bad! I just... keep on expecting. I don’t even know what I’m expecting. Something that isn’t acceptance.” Lyf had, during the sentence, reverted to their normal size, and Marius carefully gathered them into a hug. “I don’t even understand how you can touch me after everything I did to Odin and everything I am now. I- you _saw_ it.”

“Yeah, I did. You fought and won against someone with more experience, and someone who planned to bind you to her own will- I don’t even know if you would have had a free will or mind after that, Lyfrassir. I’m not going to judge you for that.” Marius carefully pat Lyf on back, watching for signs that Lyf didn’t want to be touched. “If you want to get technical, I’ve done a couple orders of magnitude more shit than you. You know some of what I did. You’re still okay with hugging me and me hugging you.” Lyf was crying into Marius’ vest, he could feel the growing wet patch.

“It feels different.” The two of them slid to the floor as Lyf’s legs gave out. “It just does. I’m not supposed to do that. I’m not supposed to feel like that. The Dweller in the Darkness called you my mortal and my first thought and second and third thoughts had nothing to do with defending your autonomy. I didn’t even think about it at all.” Lyf’s arms tightened around Marius, and their breath started to hitch. “Sorry. I. You shouldn’t have to listen to all of this.” Marius gently clasped Lyf in his arms.

“I’d rather hear what you’re worrying about, Lyfrassir. I don’t think the person who set up a meticulous spreadsheet and rules to test their compulsion abilities is going to just suddenly disregard my free will.” Marius takes a moment to compose himself. “I- we all know what that’s like. I promise you that if you do start doing that _all_ of us, not just me, will make sure you know. You were in the middle of a fight. I don’t blame you.” Lyf’s breath started hitching more, and the wet patch on Marius’ vest grew, and Lyf started, very quietly, to cry.

Marius wasn’t used to processing emotions ‘normally’ or ‘healthily’ because that fell by the wayside when you were immortal and your morals got very, very out of whack and you really couldn’t talk about your problems with anyone except occasionally Brian. And even then, Brian did not deserve to have all the crew’s problems dumped on him, so Marius avoided it. But what Lyf was doing right now, grasping desperately at Marius, pulling the hug closer, and quietly, quietly sobbing he vaguely remembered from his first few years of being an immortal, and changing, and remembering enough to know that he was changing. So he did what he wished he could have gotten back then, and hugged Lyf back, leaned into their embrace, and hummed as soothingly as he could.

“I just- I think I’m more an eldritch shrimp thing than a human at this point, and- you’re so calm about seeing it, but I remember seeing the recordings and it _hurt_ to see those things and I don’t want to hurt people just by existing!” Marius pulled a handkerchief out of his pockets to hand to Lyf, who took it and messily blew their nose.

“I think that’s probably an immortal thing? The reason I’m so calm about seeing you.” Marius wasn’t going to pull away from the hug, but where the metal met the flesh itched as Marius remembered. “At least, us. The Mechanisms. We’re, uh, not allowed to go insane? I mean, by our standards. We always get dragged back, mentally. Sure, you can feel more or harder and end up burning down a planet, but ... at the end your brain makes you get back to some baseline. So I can honestly say that we’re all inoculated from having seen the Black Box.” Lyfrassir had calmed down a bit, but, well, Marius was getting the sense that Lyf had spent all the time since the Bifrost Incident not talking to anyone, and now it was all coming out.

Marius started rubbing Lyfrassir’s back as they sobbed, and offered handkerchiefs until he ran out. Lyf talked and talked, about things that Marius couldn’t help with, the loneliness of being afraid to make friendships in the shadow of the Bifrost- 

“Marius, I don’t think I’ve even been hugged in decades, I don’t even have any friends I’ve just let the Bifrost cut me off and make me stagnant and tired and like a wind-up man, going through tasks- I don’t even know how to make friends anymore, Marius-” Marius handed over a handkerchief again, and as Lyf blew their nose, he answered.

“None of us even remember how to make friends like we did when we were moral, Lyfrassir. It’s fine if you don’t. Just say what you want or need or intend to do, or if you can’t do that, write it, and if you can’t do that, we’ll do our best. We may fight amongst ourselves and kill and hurt but there’s an adjustment period every time someone new comes aboard. We’ll still do it amongst ourselves, but, well, you’ll have to initiate before we include you. And it’s very hard to be stagnant on the Aurora.” Lyf moved on, and where Marius had an answer, he gave it, and where he didn’t he murmured love and affection to them and kept up the supply of handkerchiefs. 

Eventually, of course, he did run out, because he did not have infinite pockets in which to store infinite handkerchiefs, just a couple of the magicians infinite handkerchief tricks that he had been trying to learn. So Marius kept up the backrubs, and based on Lyf’s sobbed words, he was definitely helping abate some decades-long touch starvation, and that was something. He just couldn’t do much more, now. Lyf clung to him, wrapping arms and, as time passed, Marius started to get entwined in Lyfrassir’s tentacles as well, appearing to wrap around him snugly, and it was almost like the experience of a weighted blanket while sitting down and next time Lyf started talking about how they felt monstrous now, Marius was able to point out that they were also providing comfort even while they were being comforted. They did make it a bit awkward to rub Lyf’s back, since his arms were mostly wrapped up, but Marius managed. He also kept up a constant stream of murmured affection and reassurance into Lyfrassir’s ears as their worries began to repeat.

“We all know what having our minds messed with feels like, Lyf, and how to get out of it with the smallest loophole. You won’t be alone again, Lyfrassir. I won’t let you, and the Mechanisms won’t let you, we don’t let our people go out alone, just ask Nastya. And I’ll be here, and you’ll still be here as long as you want to be. You’re you, and you’re learning a new body and abilities, and we all know what some of that feels like, and no one will seriously yell at you for messing up.” As Lyfrassir started to calm, Marius added “you have all the time in the world to figure out who you want to be, here, and we won’t stop you from trying things out and figuring out what you want to do. It took me decades to decide to be the ship’s doctor.” Lyf hiccuped to a stop and rubbed the last handkerchief on their face, sniffling slightly.

“You’re not even a medical doctor. How did you settle on that?” Marius decides that now is not the time to get all fake-indignant. It’s a decent question, especially if you don’t know his backstory, and Marius has never even tried to put all of that into song. He should, and then sing it to Lyfrassir.

“I do actually have doctorates.” Lyf looked skeptical, one eyebrow raised and mouth already opening to talk. “They’re just not medical doctorates! But they still _count_ , thank you, so I am a doctor. Besides, Raphaella decided that all science that happens on the ship has to happen under her jurisdiction. I made like seven labs before giving up because she would just swoop in and claim them. But no one was using the medlab, so, you know, I’m taking about one class a decade and slowly work towards a medical doctorate that Ashes hasn’t forged.” Lyf was relaxing further, so Marius kept on rambling. “And I cook! And I can bake but we don’t have any of the tools I’d need for that and no one appreciates how much work goes into it so I sort of stopped. It’s not really a very useful skill on this ship, since Brian already does all the cooking, although sometimes he lets me help. We sing duets and cook for the bigger breakfasts where everyone’s going to be there.” Lyf managed a shaky smile up at Marius.

“Yet you break my replicator?”

“Hey! Doctorates and being good at cooking do _not_ translate to learning foreign languages or working random technology.” Lyf laughed, weakly and tear-stained but still a laugh.

“I guess that explains how you managed to get it to spew smoke.” Marius did an over-exaggerated harumph, which got another shaky smile from them. “What are they even in? And if you tell me you have a degree as a sexpert or something like that I will...” Lyf squinted. “I will vanish all of your boot belts.” Marius gasped, raised his eyebrows up in a caricature of shock before dropping it and nonchalantly shrugging.

“It’s forged?”

“Oh my gods Marius.”

“What! It was a 2 for 1 on forged degrees and I was already getting a Medical doctorate forged, so I thought, you know, haha, why not.” Lyf weakly smacked him with a loose tentacle. “It made sense at the time!”

“Marius, I’m not going to vanish your boot belts, but only because you didn’t make me see that with no warning. Let’s go get you new fingers.”

“I kinda wanna see if these fingers are the same or new technology now. That could be interesting. And is something I have a doctorate in, thanks.”

“You have a doctorate in fingers. Really. That’d better not be another euphemism, Marius.” 

“Hey, it’s not! My degree’s in robotics. Big mecha robotics. But it translates well enough to small stuff!” Marius helped Lyf stand up, slightly mourning the loss of the full-body embrace as Lyf re-wound and disappeared their tentacles, and realized that he could still get hugged as they moved if he just picked Lyf up and put them on his back. Lyf yelped, but also immediately hugged Marius close, so. 

“I- Marius, you don’t have to carry me.”

“No, but I want to. Unless you don’t want me to?” Lyf sighed and nuzzled into Marius’ neck, and Marius was pretty sure that they then spontaneously got lighter. “You don’t have to get lighter. I am strong enough to carry you around.”

“It feels polite if I’m going to accept a ride. Don’t want to burden you.” Marius hefted Lyf around to his front. “Am I a front-facing backpack, now?”

“No, I just want to look you in the eyes when I say that you’re not burdening me. This is the third time I’ve carried you, and the two previous times you were your full weight and I did fine. I didn’t even pull anything, I promise. You’re not a burden.” Lyf, despite not outwardly changing besides a blush, went back to being a solid weight in Marius’ arms, so he swung them back around to his back. “Alright! To my room! So I can prove I have legitimate doctorates!” Lyf returned to resting their head in the crook of his neck, and Marius set off through the corridors of the Aurora, fairly surprised that the two of them hadn’t seen anyone else.

“Alright, I give in, you do have doctorates.” Lyf was sitting cross-legged on his bed, looking through Marius’ sheaf of actual doctorates. He hadn’t bothered getting them framed, unlike the fake ones, just kept in a climate-controlled folder. “Surprisingly diverse, as well. You’ve got Musical Theory, Macroscopic Robotics, three weird sciences that I’m never going to be able to pronounce-”

“It’s basically three different closely- related branches of physics.”  
“Sure. And then there’s Mathematics and Space Queer Fiction Literature. And instead of pointing any of this out when people make fun of you for nothing being a doctor, and don’t say you normally do I heard Ivy and Raphaella making fun of you in jail, you just insist that you are a doctor and don’t clarify.” Marius shrugged and then dropped a finger and had to fumble to catch it.

“It’s fun? I’m waiting to see how long it will take anyone except Ashes to figure it out. I had to get all of those re-made and re-sent to me since unlike everyone else on this ship I didn’t just carry my academic degrees with me, and this way they’ll actually believe me whenever I decide I’ve had enough.” Lyf carefully stacked the degrees again and placed them back into their folder, which went back in the hidden section of the Aurora, who hummed appreciation as Lyf started carefully screwing the panel back on. They still had red eyes and tear tracks down their face, but Marius had offered his bathroom and Lyf had refused. They had dried his vest and shirt, though, even though Marius had _said_ that he could just change.

“So it’s just you, the Aurora, and Ashes, and now me who knows.”

“Yup!” This finger was being fiddly. He probably shouldn’t’ve tried to start with the pinky.

“How long have you kept this up for?”

“About a millenia, give or take.”

“Long con.” Lyf looks impressed. They’ve also flopped down on his bed, and Marius kind of wants to slip in after, but they both definitely need breakfast at this point. Lyf and Marius’ stomachs have been grumbling about the lack of food for a while. “Well. Need any help, there?” Marius sighs.

“Yeah, I haven’t done any maintenance on these fingers in a bit and it’s coming back to bite me now.” Lyf pulls themself upright again and drags over the other chair in the room to sit next to Marius, who has finally gotten his pinky on. It’s a nice pinky, gunmetal grey and with paintable nails. You can paint the silicone nails, but getting them clean again is a mess.

“Tell me what to do?” Marius hands Lyf the rest of the set of his fingers after plucking the thumb out of the mess.

“If you could just take- oh, here-” Marius grabs an extra screwdriver and hands it over. “Yeah. Just give all the screws that that one fits in a wiggle, blow in them and try to get the dust out, and, uh, if you see anything that looks broken just let me know? I can always mix-n-match, it just gets a bit weird with sensation, and also, well, the aesthetics are messy.” Lyf starts cleaning out the fingers they’ve been given as Marius swears at his thumb.

“What sort of fingers do you have? What’s the, uh, difference between them?”

“Eh. Mostly I built them at different times. I’ve got the default set in there, but I don’t use them anymore- too sensitive in the fingertips, which is not what you need for playing instruments. Worked with them for a bit, but I’ve got better now. Built ‘em myself! Based it on what I knew from building gigantic pilotable robots and then, well. Shrunk it down.” Marius gets one screw in on the thumb.

“And you haven’t made ones that pop on and off?” Lyf has pulled out a pipe cleaner, or maybe manifested one, and is running it inside of Marius’ fingers to clean them. It feels very nice!

“You’ve met Jonny, yes? And Tim? And Ashes? And Raphaella? I did, and then they promptly thought it was very funny to steal them. It is not fun to play find-the-finger based on what you can still feel from them.”

“But they were disconnected?”

“Yeah, but I connect them wirelessly and wired, so that I can do- well, I’ll show you later? When I’ve got all the fingers on. But I can disconnect a bit further back than the wrist and make my hand walk around, and since the fingers are replaceable, they’ve got to interface even if they’re not connected. It’s neat making them wiggle dramatically when they’re cut off.” Lyf looks down at the fingers in his lap, and then back at Marius. They grab the fingers out of their lap and poke him with his own fingers.

“Are you telling me you can feel what these fingers are doing right now. Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Marius Von Raum. What the fuck.” Marius laughed and tried to ward off Lyf’s pokes.

“Sorry, Lyf! I didn’t think to mention it. Ah, shit.” Marius’ thumb fell off. Lyf grabbed it before it fell in a tentacle. “Is it weird if I’m impressed with your reflexes with new limbs that you make at will?” Lyf sighed and handed Marius his thumb back.

“I don’t know? I- it’s helping me not view them as bad, I guess. I’d like to have more control over when they happen though.” Marius went back to trying to screw his thumb on with one hand. “Oh- give it here.” Lyf grabbed Marius’ hand and started screwing his thumb in. It definitely went faster than Marius doing it with one hand. In short order, Lyf had gotten Marius’ hand back together, and Marius just needed to do some calibrating.

“Alright! I think we’re good for breakfast! Or maybe lunch, at this point?” Lyf shrugged. “Do you want to try being a mantis shrimp and seeing if we can still prank everyone? Totally fine if you don’t want to, obviously, this is all about your comfort level, I have no idea if anyone will even be in the kitchen now-” ah. Marius had a little... normal sized? Mantis shrimp Lyf on his shoulder. “Can you talk like that?” Lyf’s little mantis shrimp hands scrubbed over their eyes. “Is that a yes or no?”

“I was trying to figure out if I knew how to vibrate air and even though I’m pretty sure I didn’t a minute ago the answer is yes, now. Which is weird. I’m not even- I’m not even vibrating the air I just decided I wanted to speak and now I am.” Marius decided that now was not the time to bring up that Lyf had sort of done that when he’d shrunk themself.

“Kitchen time?” Lyf’s eyes, scattered on their carapace, all turned to look at Marius. The actual eye stalk eyes were rainbow, and a bit mesmerizing. “Is that a yes?”

“Marius, I could murder many, many waffles. A tower of waffles, if you will.”

“Is that a request? We’ve probably got the stuff for waffles.” 

“Mmmm. I think we deserve chocolate chip waffles.”

“I can do that! We definitely have chocolate chips.” Lyf sort-of headbutted Marius gently on the cheek, and Marius had no idea what that meant but it felt really nice and also tickly. Marius set off for the kitchen, and after an initial scramble Lyf used their fan of tail-tentacles to anchor themself, twining around Marius’ shoulder and neck. After that, walking around with Lyf on his shoulder went smoothly. Lyf was so tiny! They could’ve fit neatly in Marius’ palm if not for the trailing tail of tentacles.

“Are we letting everyone else know I can talk or are we going to pretend I’m just a shrimp with eyes and tentacles that can’t talk, now?” Marius shrugged the shoulder that didn’t have Lyf on it.

“I think either way could be really funny, so up to you? Ooo. You said you knew morse code, right?” Lyf’s eye stalks bobbed up and down and Marius chose to take this as a nod. “What if you just talked in morse code and we pretended you couldn’t talk but then I would still know what you want to say?” Lyf sighed, their little arms rubbing over their eye stalks again.

“Wait a moment. I’ve got an idea, but I’m going to be very careful about it.” Marius paused in the corridor. Lyf scuttled close to Marius, and put their little hairy hand-things on Marius’ cheek. Which tickled, but Marius got slapped with a fan-thing when he giggled, so he settled down. Then he heard, very quietly, in his head, Lyf. There was an overtone of apprehension and worry but also underneath a current of love and Marius just wanted to melt.

_Marius? Can you hear me?_

“I can hear you! But like you’re a room away and speaking a bit quietly.”

_What about now?_ And that was better. More like normal speech, and pretty easily distinguishable from his own thoughts, but the emotions were more distant. Still, that was probably preferable for Lyf and more like reading actual tone of voice.

“That’s good. Do you want me to try thinking back?” Lyf shifted back, little hand-things leaving Marius’ face and barely avoiding tangling in his beard, which, thinking about it, he definitely should’ve needed to trim by now. Hm. Thanks, Bifrost, for not making his beard grow when he was questionably not in his body to stop it?

“No, thanks, I’d rather not increase the chance of accidentally invading your brain’s privacy. Your thoughts should get to be your own.”

“I mean, I’m okay with it.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Alright!” Lyf’s eyes hadn’t stopped looking at Marius, and it was a bit weird to have so many eyes on you from one person, but he wasn’t going to mention that to Lyf. They were dealing with enough. “To making waffles we shall go. Anything else you want?”

_Deviled eggs? I haven’t had the spices to actually make them in a while and I never got them programmed into the replicator._ Marius grimaced.

“You’re probably better off asking Brian to make those. I theoretically know how, but the repulsion field will stop me. The repulsion field is that I hate them. Mustard is disgusting and I don’t understand why you would add it to perfectly good eggs.” He had strong opinions, sure, but they were his and also harmless and he was going to stand by them.

_Hm. Alright then. Or I guess I can make them._ Marius’ eyes went wide.

“Tiny shrimp hands making deviled eggs...”

_No, after we stop playing this prank on them._

“Aw. Fine. I’ll ask Brian, how about that.” Marius dug out his phone when Lyf nodded.

**the mantis shrimp of lyf’s dreams:**

Brian can you make deviled eggs for lyf since i hate them

**Metal Jesus:**

Yeah sure I’ll meet the two of you in the kitchen

**the mantis shrimp of lyf’s dreams:**

Who changed my name. I’m not a mantis shrimp. That’s Lyf.

**Creative Commons 4.0 License:**

Mantis shrimps mate for life so clearly you are also the mantis shrimp of Lyf’s dreams.

**the mantis shrimp of lyf’s dreams:**

okay i dont think lyf has to mate for life now i dont think that’s how that works let me ask lyf

Lyf, who had snuggled up against Marius’ face and was looking at the text conversation, was already answering.

_I may have some mantis shrimp instincts but I think they mostly revolve around how to use this body’s panic fight or flight responses or things like when I would normally want to sigh._ Lyf’s little antenna-sort-of things were wiggling around. _Uh. Is this a good time to ask if it’s cool that I’ve been internally referring to you as my boyfriend._ Marius flushed. Oh good! So they were both having the same sort of committed relationship thoughts. That was a conversation partially avoided that he was still going to have to pick up oh boy.

“I’m! Fine with that! Do you have a preferred term?” Lyf’s antenna stilled, and then they head-butted his face and then gently rubbed themselves against his beard, only occasionally catching. “Is that a gesture of affection?”

_Yeah. I. I wanted to hug you and then I did that so I guess there you go, that’s the closest I can do like this. I’m fine with partner or boyfriend or datemate or anything, really. Thank you for asking. I’m. Glad you also want to get some formal names on this. Feels a bit silly, now._

“Well, I mean. There’s not a bad time to figure that out? Even if it is after you’ve both said you love each other. Which, again. I do. Love you.”

_Love you too. At least no one is around to make fun of us._ Marius grimaced.

“That’s not going to stop them.” Marius’ phone pinged. “Oh no.”

**Big Bold Beautiful:**

@the mantis shrimp of lyf’s dreams Stop being gay and affirming that you love each other in the corridors and tell us what Lyf told you.

**the mantis shrimp of lyf’s dreams:**

Lyf says that’s not how it works

Also no we will not stop being gay in the corridors we have to keep on existing

**Big Bold Beautiful:**

Are they sure, though?

Also fair

**the mantis shrimp of lyf’s dreams:**

I’m pretty sure they’re sure

**Brain Nest:**

Lyf can I experiment on you just a bit just a tiny bit I want to know what’s going on

Tiny bit

Maybe just an eye exam

**the mantis shrimp of lyf’s dreams:**

Nope! We’ll see @Metal Jesus in the kitchen!!!

Marius tucked his phone away and reached up with a hand to cup Lyf, who had gone almost still, tentacles and antenna quivering a bit.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

_I’m not. Inherently against figuring out everything about this body. But I’d rather not find out in that sort of environment. I- Raphaella is fine. I just- there’s. History, with Midgardians._

“It’s fine. She’ll ask, but if you say no, or I say no on your behalf, she won’t. She’s very good about that with us.” Marius paused for a second, but it was probably better if Lyfrassir heard it now. “People who aren’t immortal, or aren’t friends with one of us- her morals and ethics get a lot looser. I checked on the group chat- she’s definitely experimenting on a lot of people that she picked up when we went a bit. Hm. Well. More like we normally act on planets. We were trying to be on good behaviour for you.” Lyf’s feeling a bit calmer now, if Marius had to guess, having gone from quivering to the becoming normal to see slight movements of their body.

_Alright. I can handle that, with warning. It’s not like the three of you didn’t do a lot of horrible crimes on and around New Midgard. Thank you for telling me, and for trying to keep it tamer. Can we please just get waffles now?_

“Yeah, we’re like at the kitchen.” Marius stopped cupping Lyf to push open the door and saw Brian, who was, bless the man, making deviled eggs. Or at least he was boiling eggs and getting out mustard and vinegar and mayonnaise and all the things that were ultimately ruined by the mustard. Disgusting, but if Lyf wanted deviled eggs after beating up Odin and having a good cry then Marius could get someone else to supply deviled eggs. Brian looked up and waved.

“Marius. Lyfrassir but tiny and an eldritch mantis shrimp. Are you going to be eating the eggs like that?” Lyf waved an arm at Brian and nodded. “... Should I be making less deviled eggs?”

“I don’t know, Brian, how many are you making?” Marius peeked over his shoulder. “Like... 6? Lyf do you think you can eat six whole deviled eggs that’s a lot of nasty. And I am making waffles. Here, you can supervise Brian.” Lyf unwound their tentacles from Marius’ shoulder and neck and swam through the air to land on top of Brian’s hat, where he settled in quite nicely.

_He has a comfortable hat, which I wasn’t actually expecting._ Brian looked at Marius, and flicked his eyes up to where he couldn’t see Lyf through the hat.

“Alright then. The waffle ingredients are in your cupboard.” Marius got out the measuring cups and spoons and the bowls and finally threw open the green cupboard.

“Who put waffle mix in here. That’s an abomination. I wasn’t gone for that long, my cabinet had no reason to be horribly violated like this.” Brian hums.

“Well, fake you had numerous flaws. There was not getting super upset when Jonny didn’t call you Doctor Baron Marius Von Raum, and there was also the fact that he couldn’t make waffles. So we got some since we didn’t know when you’d be back.” Marius makes a face at the offending boxes.

“Can I chuck them? Since I am back. Or at least put them in Ashes’ cupboard?”

“Ashes’ cupboard is fine. Don’t waste perfectly good food.” Marius grumbled and shoved the boxes into the scorched cupboard.

“They’ll just waste them when they burn them, Brian, it’s just a matter of when it gets wasted.”

“They do eat their own burned concoctions, to be fair,” Brian chided him. Marius closed and latched the scorched cupboard after a bit of effort. Ashes always stuffed theirs fuller than it should be. Lyf was still sitting on Brian’s hat, and Marius knew that he had been the one to say that they should supervise but also he missed them despite them being right there but that was probably a bit pathetic so he shouldn’t say anything.

“Where’s the chocolate chips? I know that I brought back bags of the fancy overpriced shit when I robbed that grocery store.”

“I think that Jonny and Nastya have already eaten all of them.” With a soft plunk, a bag of chocolate chips appeared on the counter next to the mixing bowl.

“Oh, thanks Lyf.”

_You’re welcome. Let me know if you need anything else._ Brian sighed.

“So are either of you going to explain what’s going on with Lyfrassir, or are we only going to very slowly find out the details at a later date when we need to?”

“Mmmmm mostly the second one I think! We are officially dating, if that helps.” Brian paused in egg-peeling to give Marius his patented oh-my-god-you-are-a-dumbass stare.

“Just now.” Brian sounded dryer than a sun.

“Uh. Yeah. I- we had a lot going on!”

“Decades of having a crush on them and Ivy caught you both snogging under the table and neither of you had this conversation before now. You both had to share an eldritch adventure in the Bifrost to get to this point.” Marius was pretty sure he was blushing, so he turned around and started measuring ingredients. Finding the waffle iron could wait a bit. 

_When he puts it like that we do sound a bit ridiculous. I personally spent some time pretty worried that maybe this was just a fling for you._ Marius was about to respond to Lyf before remembering that Brian was right there, but oh no, what if they had both been doing that at the same time? That would have been so stupid.

“We! Were taking it somewhat slow and out of order! And maybe should’ve had a serious talk before now yes but leave me alone Brian we can’t all be emotionally intelligent.” Brian sounded like he was slicing the eggs in half now. Or at least there were knife sounds happening. “You’re judging us.”

“Just a bit. You’re both better than Jonny.” Marius started mixing the dry ingredients together.

_I feel insulted. I don’t really know Jonny, but the tone of voice..._

“We feel insulted. Jonny took centuries to even be able to talk about his emotions ever. This is a much smaller timescale.”

“Yes, well, that’s what you’re getting. Is Lyf talking to you? Because if so I would appreciate knowing if I should add some of this stolen caviar or if that’s a bit like cannibalism to them now. If they care about cannibalism, unlike Jonny.” Marius turned around with the mixing bowl to see Brian holding a gold-foil box.

“Uh. Why would you waste perfectly good stolen caviar on deviled eggs?”

“It’s a nice pop of salt. And I realized I forgot to add salt.” Brian looked sheepish about that so Marius would forgive him.

_It’s not mantis shrimp caviar so I don’t see how it could be cannibalism. Fish eat each other all the time._

“Well it’s not mantis shrimp caviar, so I don’t see how it’s cannibalism?” Brian threw a spoon at Marius. Ow.

“It’s not about what you think, it’s about what Lyfrassir thinks.” Marius shrugged.

_No one else is here and he’s not being fun to mess with, so you might as well tell him._

“Marius, seriously-”

“They say pretty much the same thing.”

_Also thanks for making the deviled eggs._

“He would also like to thank you for making the deviled eggs.”

“You’re welcome, Lyfrassir. I don’t know what prank the two of you are pulling, but I won’t spoil it.” Brian started piping the deviled eggs and putting little dollops of caviar on top as Marius heard the thump of running feet in the corridor and Tim burst through the door.

“Waffles? Waffles? Marius can I have blueberry waffles. Wait. Where’s Lyfrassir?” Marius looked over at Brian. Lyf was no longer on the top of his head, and had scuttled down to sit between the googles. Brian turned to look at Tim. Tim gaped and pointed at Lyfrassir. “Tiny shrimp.”

“No, Tim, I’m making chocolate chip waffles.” Marius dumped in the chocolate chips and then went looking for the waffle iron. “Because that’s what Lyf wants.” From behind him, Marius heard Tim’s rebuttal.

“There is no way Lyf can eat more than one waffle. Especially not with the deviled eggs. They cannot be more than- maybe 10 centimeters long? Ignoring whatever’s going on with the tentacles.”

_Yeah I can. If I can also be gigantic I am certain I can fit all this food in somewhere._

“Well, I’m still making them. You can have the leftovers or be happy with chocolate chip waffles.” Tim had gotten close to Brian and was looking at Lyf.

“Are they just like this now? Oh no. Are they squishable? What if they get squished? We’re not safe to be around!” Tim started pulling tools and odds and ends out of his pockets. “I’m going to make them a robot to pilot.” Marius frowned. He had a degree in that, dammit. If anyone was going to make Lyf a robot- Lyf didn’t need a robot. Lyf’s antennae were waving back and forth, and they pushed a feeling of amusement at him. Or at least Marius could feel Lyf’s amusement, so he assumed that’s what was going on. Oh, there was the waffle maker.

“Lyf doesn’t need a robot.” Marius started making waffles as Brian carefully put the plate of deviled eggs on the table and scooped Lyf up to put him down next to them. They started eating them, and Tim was now putting his head on the table and looking at Lyf.

“They’re so tiny... I can’t protect them. I was going to bond with them by teaching them how to make their own gun, Marius. Maybe some little explosives for when they wanted them. Ashes and I were going to teach them how to make and use thermite safely.” Tim was starting to cry a bit. Over-dramatic but okay, Tim.

“Just make a shrimp-sized gun? They’ve got prehensile tentacles, Tim, I’m pretty sure they can handle a shrimp-sized gun. Maybe make it a laser gun so they don’t have to handle reloading.”

_I want a normal sized laser gun._ Marius laughed. _What! If I’m going to be hanging out and making friends with space pirates and, in fact, in a relationship with one, I think I should get a gun._ Marius had to put down the bowl in the middle of spooning the batter into the waffle maker to double over and laugh. Tim looked a bit hurt, so Marius held up a hand, and calmed down.

“Sorry, Tim, not you, I just imagined-” oh shit what would he have imagined. Think faster Marius- “a gun but it launches Lyf at people. So they can punch whatever dickwad they’re getting aimed at in flight.”

“I mean, that could work if Lyf’s down. Oh no. Do they understand me? I’m a fool. Lyfrassir do you understand me?” Lyf bobbed their antenna up and down, still eating the eggs. Were they getting larger? Marius was pretty sure they were getting larger as they ate. “Do you want a gun? Yes? Okay do you also want a gun that shoots you at people?” Brian coughed and when Marius and Tim looked at him spoke.

“Maybe focus on one invention at a time, Tim. And speaking of which, I’m scheduled to go help Nastya right now, so...” Brian walked out as Jonny burst in. Marius sighed. He could not blame Brian. Things were about to get very chaotic.

“Where’s Lyfrassir? Why is there an eldritch shrimp on the table eating their deviled eggs? Do they have little shrimp minions now?” Jonny leaned down to look at Lyf. “I’m not impressed.” Lyf punched him in the nose, and Marius was once again laughing as he heard the distinctive sound of a snapped neck. Jonny’s body slumped to the floor. Tim, who had bolted upright, relaxed a bit.

“Wait, he’s got a point, how do you know that’s Lyf and not a random eldritch shrimp? I don’t want to make a gun for a random shrimp.” Jonny spoke up from the floor.

“That fucker does not need guns. I don’t care if it’s Lyfrassir. Anyone who can kill me with a single punch at that size doesn’t get guns.”

“Don’t be a killjoy, Jonny, I want to do this.” Tim kicked at Jonny and then danced out of the way of his retaliatory stabbing. “It’s an engineering challenge! I haven’t had one of those in forever.” Jonny had scrambled to his feet and was now trying to kill Tim. Marius put a plate of fresh waffles in front of Lyfrassir, who was now about the size of their hand, so they were definitely moving.

“Are you going to want more waffles?” Lyf shook their head. They were watching Jonny and Tim fight, but the eyes dotted on their carapace still looked up at Marius. “Alright, I’m going to make my own, then. Careful, they might knock into the table.” Marius went back to the waffle maker as Jonny and Tim continued to argue.

“See? Marius thinks it’s Lyf, and Lyf deserves a gun!”

“Lyf is on gun probation after being a cop, Tim.” Jonny took a knife through the throat.

“They haven’t been a cop for decades, and they deserve a gun for if they get copnapped again! They killed a cop with a gun and that means they have gun rights.” Jonny gurgled at Tim and stabbed him in the side before going for the throat. Marius was accumulating a stack of waffles watching the two of them roll around on the floor. It did remind him of the robot vacuum idea, so not a complete loss.

_Is this normal?_ Lyf was halfway through their stack of waffles and definitely larger. _The injuring each other bit, I mean. I remember arguments from you and Raphaella and Ivy, but I don’t remember you lot actually fighting._ Marius nodded. _Hm. Alright. Am I going to be included in this fighting?_ Marius shrugged. It definitely depended on what Lyfrassir was comfortable with, and that wasn’t really something that he could convey without giving up the game.

“Tim, you motherfucker, get back here! This is a knife fight, do _not_ go get a gun!” Oh, great, Jonny could talk again. Tim was racing off into the halls of the Aurora. Jonny pointed at Marius. “You. If that’s Lyfrassir put, I don’t know, a fucking high-vis vest like his fucking pet octokitten onto them or I will end up accidentally shooting the horrifying shrimp.”

“They’re already pretty hi-vis.” Marius sat down next to Lyf but in a seat and with his own plate of waffles.

“You know what I fucking mean, Von Raum!” Jonny dashed out. “Tim, you’re not going to escape that easily, I’ve got my own gun!” Lyf finished their waffles, and yeah, they were almost twice as big now, and floated up to settle in Marius’ hair. His hair was still pretty long after he’d had to grow it out. Lyf was doing something up there, twitching his hair around, but Marius didn’t mind.

He was mostly really hungry and willing to ignore a lot in order to finally get to eat. The waffles were delicious. When Lyf finally stopped moving, Marius was sort of tempted to take a selfie just to see what they were doing.

“Did you shrink again? I feel like you were larger when I first felt you in my hair.”

_... It was easier to get stable up here smaller. Also, your hair is long enough that I’ve made myself a little den and I couldn’t if I was bigger._ Marius carefully did not coo over the thought that Lyf had made a little home on his head and kept on eating instead of immediately taking a selfie so that he had a record of this.

“Do you want me to make my hair longer? I could do that if it would be easier.”

_I’m sorry, what?_

“I can make my hair longer.”

_On command?_ Marius felt tiny little mantis feet tapping on his head.

“Yeah, we all can.”

_Maybe later. I want to braid your hair. Also, I know I have no ground to say this, but that’s weird._ Marius shrugged.

“You could probably do it if you wanted, now.”

_Hmmmmm. I like my hair length. But good to know if I get, I don’t know, gum stuck in it or something._

“Marius, is that Lyfrassir in your hair?” Nastya was standing in the doorway. “Hello, Lyfrassir. Aurora says thank you for considering her when trying out becoming a small mantis shrimp. Yes, I will tell her that you say thank you.” Marius started trying to eat the last waffle quickly so that he could get in on this conversation. “Ashes wants to know if you’re going to get your own room, or if you’re just going to keep the Holt and stay in Marius’ room.”

_Marius’ room is a mess. Is she okay with me bending space a bit if I experiment in the Holt first?_ Nastya looked up, which Marius appreciated, since before she’d finally been argued into having a shorthand for talking to the Aurora no one had been able to tell. Marius finally finished chewing.

“Nastya, I just realized that Lyf and I can do the talking without people realizing thing that you and the Aurora can do and I totally understand why you didn’t want to let us know.” Marius sighed. “Everyone’s going to make us get a shorthand now.”

_What happened?_

“Oh, people did not enjoy me making facial expressions and laughing and the like out of nowhere. We’re already used to Marius randomly bursting into laughter, so the two of you likely could have gone longer if it weren’t for the fact that if Aurora and I can’t have it, no one can. Aurora agrees.”

_That’s fair. However, I am a mantis shrimp._

“Game’s up with Nastya, Lyf. Aurora tells her stuff like that and she can see everything, so.”

_Hm. Alright. That will be something to get used to. I’m definitely keeping the Holt. Don’t tell Aurora I said that. We can figure something out._

“We’ll figure something out.” Marius’ phone dinged and he checked it. “Oh no. Ashes is making you an aquarium, Lyf. They’ve got Ivy with them.” Lyf apparently extended their eyestalks, since Marius knew they hadn’t been that long before, and one was placed in front of the screen.

_Do we want to see if they actually go through with it. I kind of want to see how fancy they get, honestly. Look, Ivy’s got a whole book open and Ashes is planting coral? This is looking fun. And pretty large._

“Hey. Wait. That’s my room. They’re rearranging my room. That’s where my _bed_ went. Where did they put my bed!”

_I think I see the corner of it in frame. But we’re both done eating. You could just walk over there and find out._

“You’re right. But first I’m going to wash the plate or multiple people will kill me.” Nastya nodded.

“He’s right. After the last time the octokittens infested the kitchen Ashes threatened us all with various punishments. I believe Marius’ was having to dress in monochrome.” Marius dumped the plates in the sink and started washing them.

“That’s a fate worse than death, Lyfrassir. I can’t live like that. So dishwashing it is.’

_Hm. I think it’s nicer when you can just dump the whole plate into the replicator. You should all have replicators._ Lyf kept on fiddling with Marius’ hair, rearranging it, probably, and honestly it felt like a weird version of someone running their fingers through your hair so Marius was okay with it. _Actually, why don’t you all have replicators? I keep on asking and no one has told me._

“Ashes can’t get them to work and would like your assistance with them when you’re doing being a shrimp all the time actually.” Nastya yawned. “I just wanted to see mantis shrimp Lyfrassir, so I’m going back to my nap. Have fun figuring where you’re sleeping, Marius.” Marius mimed throwing a wet towel at her, and she flipped him off and left the kitchen.

_Do you want me to make your room bigger so that you can fit the tank and your bed in it?_ Marius reached up and patted Lyf.

“Honestly, your bed is more comfortable, so if you get the Holt attached to the Aurora nearby we could make a suite situation. Living room where my bedroom is right now, enter into the Holt and then bedroom and all. If you want to do that, obviously.”

_I’ve already committed to living on the same ship as you, I don’t think merging our rooms is that large a step. I’ll see what I can do after I practice a bit._

“I’m sure that the Aurora appreciates you being careful, but we can all live through a pressure drop very easily. Wait, no, Ashes has Fiona on the ship right now. When Fiona gets dropped off, then as long as you can fix it for the Aurora I don’t think you need to bother practicing.”

_Give me at least a few decades to shake the need to double and triple check._ Marius grinned. _Maybe more._ _I just- like being sure._

“No, that’s fine love, I just was thinking about the fact that we do have that timeline.” Marius felt Lyf try to somehow get deeper under his hair but he just ended up tickling Marius’ scalp, and he giggled, and Lyf tried to burrow, and it repeated for Marius wasn’t quite sure but probably a few minutes.

_Okay, so apparently my embarrassment reaction like this is trying to be unseen, and that did not work out... great._

“I mean, it tickled, that was fine. I don’t mind. Besides, you told me that stuff about hair and braiding and my hair isn’t quite long enough for braiding but I’m glad that it’s long enough for you to nest there.” He felt, faintly, where Lyf was touching his scalp, wisps of _loveembarrassmentlove_ and found that he couldn’t stop grinning. Which ruined the impression when he threw open his cabin door to confront Ashes and Ivy. “Ashes! Why are you doing this to my room without asking me. What if I had a stash under my bed?” Ashes did not look up from carefully placing rocks and printed metal to make a multi-level aquarium.

“You keep all your secrets in your desk, fourth drawer down, behind the second hidden panel.”

_Nice of them not to reveal your doctorate hiding place. And to make such a complex aquarium. Oh, where did they get little fish for it?_ Ashes did, in fact, have a little bag of fish that they were distributing through the aquarium. There were plants scattered throughout the aquarium. Luckily, Marius had learned not to question Ashes, so he didn’t ask. Ivy, however, was open game.

“Ivy, where did you even get this information for mantis shrimps?” Ivy held up her book. “Yes, but from the Yggdrasil system or otherwise?”

“While pirating the Yggdrasil system’s information I was able to locate the specific species that Odin’s family used to genetically modify the population. So, I just looked until I found a match in the mantis shrimp population. From there, it was a simple matter to do a look-up on ideal living locations and situations for them.” Ivy looked up from carefully measuring in salt and calibrating filters. “Marius. Where is Lyfrassir.”

“You know! Around!” Marius could still feel them on their head, so Lyf was just hiding and he didn’t need to freak out. “He’s his own shrimp and can do whatever he wants.”

“Marius.”

“They’re around somewhere. I swear. I saw them eating waffles in the kitchen.” Ivy stood up and, whoops, she had drawn her gun. If she shot it at that angle it could hit Lyfrassir, who was sending tickles of amusement through Marius, and that would be bad.

“Marius, Lyfrassir needs to be in water. That’s how they breathe, now.” Marius held up his hands in surrender. “Tell me where Lyfrassir is. I have prepared a transition tank.”

_I cannot tell if she is joking. Marius, is she joking? Wait, shit, you can’t respond._

“I. Uh. Happen to know exactly where they are and they are fine and healthy, I promise!” Ivy jammed her gun into his throat. Well, that was a better location for her to shoot to avoid Lyf. “Really! What is the chance that I am lying!” Ivy sighed and lowered the gun.

“There was a 80% chance you would crack, but then it dropped to only 20% when I moved the gun. So Lyfrassir is your hair. Therefore, instead of calling it a rat’s nest, I’ll call it a shrimp's nest.” Marius felt Lyf move in his hair. “Hello, Lyfrassir. You can either tell us about any changes you want to the tank, or we will paint little ‘I Heart Von Raum’ signs all over it.” Lyf moved, and was floating in the air, and sure, they looked great and it was nice to see them but also Marius missed the comforting weight on his head.

_You don’t need to put other animals into it._

“Yeah we do, actually.” Ashes was in the middle of planting plants. “We’re making it self-sustaining so no one had to take care of it. That’s why it’s taking up half the room. We were kind of banking on you not killing or eating any of the fish. It would’ve been awkward if you really had gone full shrimp.” Lyf projects a huff. “Well, Marius also would’ve been sobbing about needing to take care of you, so we were pretty sure that hadn’t happened.” Marius snapped his fingers.

“Fuck. We got so close.”

“You got maybe 5% close to your goal.”

“We fooled Tim and Jonny! And could have fooled the Toy Soldier! Wait, what about Raphaella?”

“Raphaella would ask for your permission, not Lyfrassir’s, if they didn’t have the mental capacity to understand the question anymore.” Marius pouted.

_Well, it was a good go._ Lyf twisted in the air, tentacles flairing, and then they were human again and standing right in front of Marius. “Thank you for the tank, I suppose?” Ashes snickered.

“Honestly we just thought it would be fun to screw with Marius, but who knows, maybe you’ll enjoy it!” Ivy nodded.

“I calculated an 80% chance that you would enjoy it in some way, shape, or form. If you want I can break down that down further but the most salient point is that even though you are an eldritch being, you are most likely still most comfortable in an environment designed for that form. To a 52.4% probability. I don’t have much data to work with as we have mostly seen you in an environment comfortable for humans.” Lyf leaned back into Marius. He could feel their heartbeat, strong for human-normal but perfect for Lyfrassir..

“I do appreciate it. Would you like to help us keep up the façade for Jonny and Tim a bit longer?” Ashes grinned up at Lyf.

“You’re speaking our language. Help me fix the replicators up so that they work and you’ve got a deal.”

Tim did end up making a tiny, mantis-shrimp sized gun for Lyfrassir after only a day, and was quite put-out when Lyf accepted it with a human hand. Lyf patted him on the shoulder and promised that they would love to participate in the creation of another gun sized for their human hands, and also promised to actually use the mantis shrimp sized gun in combat for Tim, as well as participate in the mantis shrimp catapult gun that he was making.

Jonny didn’t find out until landing, after days of stepping carefully around Lyf and unloading his gun while Lyf was near. He found out when Lyf had to go human to call a car to go do some final visits and clear out their house. Anarchy, who had been enjoying carrying Lyf around as a mighty steed, was put out but happy to take her proper position as the one who had a mighty steed, and was taken along since Lyf was pretty worried about her self-preservation, as an octokitten. As Lyf and Fiona loaded into the car and drove off into the distance, Aurora streamed the footage of Jonny hunting down and killing the rest of the Mechanisms in an embarrassed rage to Lyfrassir’s phone. Marius was not happy when Lyf told him that yes, Lyf had seen him get dropped into a pit full of syrup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone. I have officially done 2 nano's worth of writing in one month. I don't know for certain, but i do think next chapter will be the last!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lying here bathed in sunshine  
> I have found where I shall lie  
> (Lyfrassir says their goodbyes to the Lotus system, and says their hellos to the Mechanisms)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Final Chapter, here are some specific tw's:  
> alcohol  
> discussion of & self harm (no lasting effect, done to determine if there is a healing effect)  
> discussion of events of chapter 14.  
> there is also fade-to-black implied sex.
> 
> To skip the self-harm, skip at “Thank you. I guess. Anyways. Was there anything else nerve-wracking? Or is this calm discussion time now.” and return at “If this was a way to burn your bridges, you shouldn’t have let Jason have your phone number.”"
> 
> To skip the alcohol, skip starting at "I probably should’ve travelled earlier." to the same point

Lyf looked at the piles of boxes that they had made. They probably could’ve fit everything into smaller boxes, but, well, they only had so long to make everything fit, and packing was hard. He wasn’t taking much. Books, a few sets of extra sheets and pillows, all of their paltry kitchenware for Marius, and the less perishable ingredients. Lyf would appreciate Marius’ baking, even if no one else would, and give him what he needed to make it happen. The sourdough starter in the fridge revived fairly quickly in the proofing drawer, so Lyf had its jar and food sitting on top of the boxes. They had no idea if the Mechanisms would even want sourdough bread, but it was a nice, low-effort pet, and Lyfrassir didn’t want to leave it behind. Besides, Anarchy was enjoying sitting on the jar. They didn’t have a car, opting for public transportation or shared cars, so that was something to not bother with. Lyf had already spent most of the morning arguing with a real estate agent that if they left notarized forms saying that they were going to leave it to the first person who needed it that it should be fine and the companies shouldn’t need his participation, but that hadn’t gone anywhere, so Lyf decided to leave a little card in the hallway. It read, to whoever would eventually open it, in Lyfrassir’s messy police scrawl:

“Hello, possible housebreaker. Or maybe someone checking to see if I’m dead. Hopefully not that, I’d like someone to get a free house.

As people should know but have been refusing to listen to me about, I’ve left the planet and the system. The deed’s usb key is on the living room table. It’s yours. I’ve cleared out the perishable food and left everything clean and tidy. Enjoy your new home. If this is someone legal, fuck you, none of you would listen to me, and if you try to take possession of the house I’ve left a curse on it for people like you. Nothing lethal. But you won’t be happy here. I wouldn’t.

Otherwise this should be a lovely house for you. 

Best Wishes,

Lyfrassir Edda.”

They had, in fact, laid their first curse-like impression of energy upon the place, as the Faceless God had reached out and twined zir thoughts with their own upon sensing their intentions and showed them how to do it. Ce had been amused-

 _Cousin, days old and you wish to learn one of the subtler uses of power? You’re already showing more promise than Odin ever did._ And his twisting thoughts had impressed upon them the basics, with gaps where Lyfrassir could already see and understand how they were supposed to connect, which- _impressive, Lyfrassir! You will be a delight to teach, I am sure, remind me to come back and show you more soon._ Ey wasn’t even actually there. How was Lyf supposed to know what would call her attention? And of course, the Crawling Chaos didn’t answer that. Probably wouldn’t be chaotic and confusing enough if that was the case. _Correct :’o) I’m so proud :’ <) _ Lyfrassir was so glad that their mothers had never been like that.

The end result was a sigil that shimmered in the center of the living room, twisting and twining around itself right about the deed. Lyfrassir had linked the curse to the deed- if someone took it to turn a profit, they’d find themselves plagued by a dozen minor misfortunes at every turn until they gave it away to someone who needed it. It wasn’t a large home, but Lyfrassir had enjoyed living it, and wanted to leave it to someone who would be happy to have it, not someone looking to make a profit on it. They just didn’t have the time to actually find someone.

The large “home free to someone who _needs_ it” sign that they had manifested in the front yard would hammer the point home. Lyf drew a mental circle around the boxes, and overlaid the image of the boxes in his house with an image of a space specifically cleared outside the Holt- and then erased the boxes from the image of their house, and they were gone. Anarchy and the sourdough starter nearly dropped to the floor, but Lyf caught both of them, and Anarchy climbed up their shoulder and bit his ear.

“Sorry, Anarchy. I should’ve grabbed you and the starter off the boxes. Want to come shopping with me?” She licked their ear. “Yeah, it’ll probably be boring, but what’s the point of frivolously spending your life savings if you can’t freak people out with an octokitten?” She pressed her nose into their ear and purred. “Alright, then.” Sourdough jar and octokitten secured in Lyf’s shoulderbag, Lyf called a ride and went to deal with the shopping list Ashes had given them. They’d already warned their banks, and when that hadn’t worked, they just loaded it all onto their pad and disappeared it from their accounts. Eldritch powers were _incredibly_ convenient for getting around bureaucratic headaches. To help out the poor people that would be left with the mess, they’d transferred a decent sum to the people they’d given themselves a migraine to determine would be the ones who had to work out the snarl Lyf had made.

They’d also left a note explaining it, but that probably wouldn’t work. So a little tip for the workers. Well, a large one. They could just make gold or platinum or uranium or whatever material that a planet wanted, the Mechanisms weren’t going to hurt for money again, and Lyf wanted to experience a shopping spree with some of the last legitimately generated cash they were ever going to have. They were shopping for themself and for presents and for good-bye gifts, for supplies and for closure.

Which, well, they could definitely get presents and good-bye gifts and supplies, but closure was going to be a bit harder when the only person Lyf really had to talk to and was going to be able to talk to wasn’t responsible for any of this, but it didn’t feel nice to leave Dave wondering where his least-most favourite patient had gone after he had apparently thought that Lyf had been kidnapped, so Lyf was going to swing by later in the afternoon to have a goodbye and thanks for all the help chat. Maybe even get one last piece of help. Hopefully without stressing him out any more than he already baseline was. If Lyf was extremely lucky, he might even get to meet Dave’s apocryphal husband.

Fiona met them at the mall, having dropped off her stuff. She had replenished her supply of bubblegum along the way, apparently.

“Dude. Are you the one responsible for that massive fucking transfer into my back account?” Lyf nodded. “I realize you’re going off with space pirates-” Anarchy jumped to her shoulder and licked her cheek. “Aw, thanks Anarchy. But Lyf, you, uh, might still need some cash? Like, don’t drop it all on me.”

“Oh. No, I, uh, really didn’t. I promise. I’ve got plenty left. Well, I’ve got plenty for this shopping spree, and then, well. Space pirates. You saw Ashes’ pile of gold.” Fiona flushed. “Alright, maybe you did more than see it.”

“It wasn’t very comfortable. I don’t recommend it, if you ever get a chance, but it was a once in the life-time experience.”

“Great! I’m in a committed relationship with Marius but if we ever decide to get involved in whatever the hell the rest of the Mechanisms are doing-”

“It’s like, a weird polycule? Ashes drew me a diagram but I’d already said I wasn’t going to hang around- no offense, but I don’t have your weird deal going on, and it would be cool, but also, I have a lot more connections to this system, so-” Lyf held up a hand.

“It’s fine. I have a lot of weird things going on, and the Mechanisms are definitely not for everyone. You don’t have to explain it. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Fiona nodded.

“Well! Mall time. You wanted a kitchen supply store? And some gearhead shops?” Lyf nodded. “Right! This has got both. It’s basically all the cool new tech and some of that overlaps with kitchens. You don’t have a car or anything though, how’re you getting it back to the Aurora?”

“The, uh. Eldritch powers? I’ve been practicing the teleportation of items and I’ve got it pretty well down now, although I wouldn’t try anything outside of the system.”

“Oh. I thought you had to be a shrimp to use them?” Lyf shook their head.

“Huh. Cool, then. Let’s go.” Fiona showed Lyf the shops, and Lyf bought basically a whole baker’s kitchen for Marius (might as well since they had the money and they enjoyed sweets and pastries and if Marius enjoyed it then Lyf had basically at least a year if they were able to be good at not giving all the gifts at once) and learned what all the ingredients were in that shop so that they could manifest them for Marius. Then they piled everything up and sent it to the Holt, which was definitely a bit worrying to the employees, so Lyf manifested a normal amount of cash into their tip jar before Fiona dragged them off.

“Are you going to drag me out of all the shops we go into today?”

“Yes, if you keep on doing that! I’m glad that this is normal to you but it’s super _not_ to them, and I don’t want the cops called on us in the middle of your shopping spree! Last time that happened things went _very_ sideways _very_ quickly.” Lyf winced. Fiona saw them wince and winced in turn. “It wasn’t your fault! I just. Don’t want that happening again. Especially when I’m already getting news reports that the Mechanisms are looting some shipyards for parts.” Anarchy poked her head out of Lyf’s shoulder bag, where they had been trying to open the sourdough jar. Lyf took it out of her tentacles and screwed the lid on tighter.

“That’s fair. I’ll be more careful about using it where people can see. If I put the stuff in a corner they can’t see and then teleport, is that fine?” Fiona nodded.

“Yes. That should prevent more horrifying extrajudicial kidnappings. Although I guess if you learn to teleport yourself that’s less of a problem?” Lyf shrugged.

“I’m working on it. It’s just disorienting to go more than a few meters. Anyways. Tech stores?” Fiona patted him on the back.

“Tech stores.”

The mall was nice, and Fiona being there was nice, since Lyfrassir could talk about the Mechanisms with someone who had limited experience with them, and it felt almost like vaguely-remembered movies about friendship. Lyf promised themself to keep in contact with Fiona while they could and remembered to. When they were done, they had enjoyed a full day travelling from shop to shop, and Lyfrassir had gone to their favorite restaurant a last time, and there was nothing left to put off his scheduled meeting with Dave. Was it a meeting, when you were leaving? Was it a good-bye? Was there a term, for a final leaving? Lyfrassir was fairly certain that David McAlister was the only person that he had had that approached being a friend on this planet, before the Mechanisms came back, and they were both navigating the difficulties of a doctor-patient relationship when McAlister was the only one who was willing to have Lyf as a patient. Still, they got in the cab after waving goodbye to Fiona and knocked on his door

“Ah! My most troublesome patient!” Well. Willing was a stretch, but Lyf liked to think that their relationship had gotten better. “I suppose you’re not kidnapped, then. Did you drink a bottle of ethanol at them and they decided to let you go?” Lyf sighed as they toed off their shoes at the door.

“No. I don’t think that would impress them, actually. I’ve seen what Ashes makes as cocktails, and every single one has been deadly for human consumption. And I’m not kidnapped.” McAlister nodded agreeably, and waved Lyf in.

“Sure, because you visit me so often when you’re not injured. What’s going on, Edda? What world-shattering revelation are you bringing to my doorstep today?” Lyf watched McAlister get out the pot and leaves and begin to make tea. “If you’re going to say something that’s going to give me a headache, please let me get through the cup, first.” Lyf nodded, and watched as McAlister spooned out the leaves into their cups and heated the water. When he finished pouring, Lyf began to speak.

“I’ll start with the basics, then. I’m leaving the system with the space pirates.” David groaned and leaned back in the loveseat opposite Lyf’s chair. “Willingly, I mean. It’s just... time, I think, for something new, and if they didn’t want me I’d be leaving soon anyways. I probably should’ve travelled earlier.” David made another cup of tea to steep, and then went to a cabinet and got out a bottle of rum, which he took a shot of.

“Great. This is going great already. You’re absconding from the system with space pirates that started a revolution in less than twenty-four hours. So you want your medical records? I guess? For the ship’s doctor?” Lyf shook their head. “What, did the space pirates already pirate them?”

“Well, yes, but also, they don’t actually have a doctor, since they’re all immortal in both the sense of not aging and the sense of being unable to die and healing from injuries.” Lyf stole the bottle of rum and poured himself a cup. They missed their system’s alcohol- wait. Lyf manifested a mug of proper New Midgardian cider and took a swig.

“What the fuck, Edda.” David swiped the bottle of rum back, along with the cup, and took the shot. “You can just make things now? Is this just an extension of the rest of your shit?” Lyf shrugged. “Sort of? But also not. You know about the Bifrost, I told you about it, it just gave me some extra that I only recently found out about.”

“You wouldn’t have happened to find out about them in the middle of the revolution currently happening two planets over?” Lyf grimaced.

“I think that my actual kidnapping- which happened after you texted me, thanks, I wasn’t kidnapped then- sparked that when the Mechanisms got a bit testy. So technically I found out about it during all of that happening but not because of the revolution. A lot of things have happened, David.” David took a careful sip of his tea, and apparently found it to his liking.

“Yeah, if you're calling me David then that does tell me that you’ve been through some very changing events.” Lyf sighed.

“You’re not actually a psychologist.” David nodded agreeably.

“No, I’m not, but you never agreed to go to any mental health professionals, so I did pick it up and you know it. I got an honorary degree.”

“You’re shown it to me. I know. It’s done in crayon. A kiddie degree. A joke degree, David, and I have so many more joke degrees with the Mechanisms.” David shrugged and picked up his tea to take a drink.

“So! Manifesting objects. Any health downsides that you were hoping to surprise me with?” Lyf shrugged. They hadn’t noticed any beyond having become an eldritch being with a façade of normality carefully laid over them, but who knows. “Are you looking for an annual check-up, or something? Because I do not have the equipment to do that here. I am retired, and have been retired since very early thanks to you, and I do not have any time scheduled to use someone else’s office because you scheduled this today, Lyfrassir.” Lyf took a measured sip of his cider.

“No, I think that’s probably a bad idea. You might want to put down your tea for the rest of this sentence.” David looked at him, drained the cup, put it back on the saucer, and swallowed the tea.

“Hit me.”

“I was extra-judicially kidnapped and tortured, and the government is no longer turning such a blind eye to me existing and being a medical anomaly, so probably for the best if I don’t go and get scanned or anything. Bright side, they’re definitely going to want to pay you for all the research I let you do that you never got around to publishing!” David sighed and sank into his chair. He started to rub at his temples.

“Lyfrassir, I do not understand how you get into so much trouble in such a short span of time. I spend how many years covering up the fact that you’re not aging,” Lyf hid their face in the mug. They hasn’t realized that he knew. “And now all of this? I mean, I’m glad you got friends out of it. That’s good. Should I burn the research I didn’t publish?” Lyf was in the middle of shrugging when someone knocked on the front door and opened it.

“Dave, I’m home and the net is just _bursting_ with new information on the space pirates!” David groaned. “No, I will not shut up about them, if you don’t like my watching Space Buzzfeed Unsolved about them then that’s still a you problem. We’ve talked about this.” Lyf heard the clink of keys dropping into a bowl, and carefully didn’t move as someone rounded the corner and blinked into the living room. “Dave, why is there a floating mug of some sort of drink in the chair?” Lyf looked down at themself. Ah. They didn’t know they could do that, but they were looking a bit transparent to themself, so probably invisible to everyone else. Anarchy meeped and crawled out of his shoulder bag at his feet and crawled up Lyf, satisfying herself that Lyf still existed. “Oh... that’s so cute. What is that?” At least this person had good taste.

“Well, you’re home early, Jason.” Oh, it was David’s husband who he’d never met despite knowing David for decades. “I’m afraid I don’t know what that is. But please promise not to be weird about what I am about to tell you.” Jason squinted at David and then at Anarchy before nodding.

“You know Lyfrassir Edda, the one who I said no I would not ‘just show them the video and ask if it was right’?” Jason nodded again. Lyf took a gulp of the cider. “Well, apparently they can turn themself invisible.”

“I didn’t mean to. Or realize I was doing it.” Lyf focused, and based on Jason’s jump, had become visible again. “That’s Anarchy. She’s my therapy octokitten.” David mouthed octokitten in confusion, but also looked somewhat happy. “Anyways, so you’re telling me that all this time I never met your husband not because you ‘didn’t want to cross work-life boundaries’ but because your husband watches Space Buzzfeed Unsolved and there’s videos about me on there.” David nodded.

“I didn’t know you watched Space Buzzfeed Unsolved, Lyfrassir? And, side note, I’m glad you got a therapy animal, even if it is a weird cross between what I suppose is a strange octopus and a cat.”

“I don’t, my coworkers just used to send me gifsets of various episodes to see if I would react. Most of the theories surrounding the Yggdrasil system are bullshit, although they did get some things right. And yes, Anarchy is a very good octokitten.” She purred on their lap, and Jason dropped his bag and sat next to David on the loveseat. With his legs sprawled over David’s lap, Jason stole the extra cup of tea and then looked over at Lyfrassir.

“Tell me more.”

“The idea that a whole system can be a ghost ship is obviously incredibly far-fetched, and wrong, and the black hole theory about its destruction completely ignores how black holes actually work. Or look, thinking about it, doesn’t it still have rainbow traces visible? Black holes don’t do that.”

“Well, yes, but what about the Space Bermuda Triangle theory?” Lyf sighed and set down their mug before lifting it again and sliding a nearby coaster under it.

“There was nothing supernatural behind the disappearance of ships and people in the Yggdrasil system until its destruction. Before that, Odin and her family just captured any ships that entered the system and ensured that they wouldn’t leave again, most likely as a controlling measure, as I only found out about the galactic internet after I left. And we did have better ships than yours, so that wouldn’t’ve been problematic.” Jason nodded.

“That’s kind of horrifying. How did she get away with that?” Lyf shrugged.

“I only found out about it when I was escaping the death of my system. Turns out people panic-broadcast a lot of information to prevent it from getting lost. So that’s how. She and her whole family back for generations kept it a secret. And the near-century we spent without her, well, no one came in except the Mechanisms, and it’s not like you can contain that lot, anyways.” David groaned.

“Jason, don’t. Don’t - Lyfrassir, don’t let them get started-” Jason reached out and covered David’s mouth.

“Are the Mechanisms really just disgraced nobility who have decided to turn to space piracy? Do they pass down their roles and names to the next person they find who has a similar story? Is it true that they have a shared consciousness and their ship can swap what body who is in?” Lyf blinked.

“Absolutely none of that is true. Actually, wait.” Lyf took out their phone.

**Marius.**

**Lyfrassir, Dearest Mantis Shrimp of My Dreams?**

**Are you actually disgraced nobility and that’s why you give so much of a shit about being called a baron?**

**Hahahahahahaha i mean like only if everyone else in my family dies. Which they probably have tbh but uh you know what i mean. No uh i just. Dont yell technically my first name is Byron i just dont go by that. Thats a nerd name. But its close enough that i thought itd be funny tbh**

**I will be having words with you**

**F for me in chat killed by my partner after only a single week of love**

“Nope. Just checked. No disgraced nobility, they’re all immortal so there’s no reason to pass down the name and role, and there is no shared - the Mechanisms do not have- hm. The Mechanisms are not part of a hivemind.” Jason perked up.

“Is there a hivemind?”

“Yes, but as far as I know you don’t join it so much as it joins you, so, you know, don’t try it. And the Aurora is leaving soon anyways.” Jason fiddled with his phone and Lyf got a share notification.

“If you ever want to watch all the conspiracy theories, then that’s the playlist. I have them downloaded, since, you know, slow galactic net. Although it’s been faster recently!” Lyf hit accept. “And you’ve got David’s number, so if any of that’s correct, can you text him to tell me?” David shoved Jason lightly.

“I’m not being a go-between for your ridiculous space conspiracy theories. Give Lyfrassir your number directly so you can text.” Lyf accepted the share request for their number and got Jason’s in return.

“Can I ask one more before you keep on talking about whatever, cool, so, what about the theory that they’re like- wait, do you read comics?”

“Uh. Not really? Occasionally. I’ll build up a backlog and read them all at once.”

“Okay so there’s a theory that the Mechanisms are sidekicks for one figure, who no one knows much about since there’s very little record of her on the net, who made them? She’s got pointy teeth so some people think she’s a space vampire.” Lyf blinked.

“As far as I am aware there’s no such thing as space vampires? If I ever meet one I will let you know.” Jason nodded.

“Well! Thank you for letting me interrupt, but I’ve got grading to do. Lyfrassir, I’m going to send you a copy of the conspiracy theories about you, it’s important to keep track of those sort of things.” He picked up his bag, kissed David on the cheek, and left the room, presumably to some sort of home office. David sighed.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind. Actually, the Mechanisms will probably find all of this very amusing if I tell them.” Lyf sighed. “I guess this also explains why occasionally people in cafés and restaurants would look at me weird or ask me if I was okay getting doxxed on the internet. Like I use the internet.”

“Yes, you are an interesting case of a Space Luddite, but I always assumed it was another Yggdrasil system thing.” Lyf shrugged and wiggled their hand in a so-so motion as they picked their mug back up.

“Any of your internet usage is very easily trackable, and I don’t like the government having that ammunition against me. It’s easy to find things other ways if you know how. People are very happy to talk about their restaurant recommendations, and if you have a newspaper delivered and consistently read all of it that’s not suspicious.” David rubbed at his temples.

“I really wish you had literally ever gone to a therapist, Lyfrassir.” Lyf hunched their shoulders forward.

“Same problem, really. Why would I talk to someone about all my problems when they just turn around and report it all? I’m not dumb.” David groaned.

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work here, Lyfrassir. I’m going to send you a copy of space HIPAA, and I want you to read it. We have doctor-patient confidentiality, and so would a therapist. Which basically means that we can’t tell anyone else what you say unless you specifically say that you can. Why did you think I had you sign all those forms when you agreed that I could write a research paper?” Lyf shrugged again, still hunched forward.

“I don’t know. I trust you. So I figured it was fine.” David groaned.

“I spent an hour explaining those forms to you. And what the research was, and what I was going to do.”

“Well. It seemed important to you, so, yes.” David shifted to a sprawl on the loveseat and grabbed a pillow, which he then screamed into. “Sorry? It didn’t seem like anything more unreasonable than I’d experience if the Yggdrasil had picked me up and I wasn’t Yggdrasilian, and you were being very nice about it, and there was no torture involved, and I thought it would be nice for you.” David took another breath and started screaming again. “David? If it helps, I’ll read space HIPAA?”

“ _Please._ ”

“I’m also highly unlikely to be kidnapped or experimented on because I can compel people if that makes you feel better.” David let the pillow fall to the floor.

“Actually, it does. Since you apparently have no sense of what’s acceptable in a medical professional. Not like I was the greatest one for you, you really deserved someone more experienced. Not fresh out of school with a shaky grasp on Old Norse.” David sighed. “Really shaky. You were probably right to make fun of me.” Lyf leaned over the table and gave David a pat on the shoulder.

“You’re pretty fluent now. Very impressive.”

“Thank you. I guess. Anyways. Was there anything else nerve-wracking? Or is this calm discussion time now.”

“Oh, yeah, I think I’m also immortal now and I was going to test if I can heal by stabbing myself but then I thought that that was maybe a dumb idea since I don’t really know where arteries are, so I was hoping you could tell me where it was safe to stab.” David slid off the loveseat and grabbed the bottle of rum on his way down. Lyf heard drinking noises. “Hey, if you’ve done surgery you have to know where it’s safe to stab.”

“Lyfrassir, have you considered just giving yourself a papercut? Or pricking your fingers? Or literally anything but going right to stabbing?” Anarchy glooped over to David.

“Anarchy, be nice.”

“She’s just sitting on my chest. A remarkably nice strange cat. Does her purr have the same healing qualities as normal cats do?”

“I do not know, but I will ask people and let you know if they know.”

“Thank you. So why stabbing, Lyfrassir?”

“I tried papercuts and they healed but honestly papercuts have always healed really quickly, I think because of some of the weird genetic stuff. Like my back.”

“Your spine, or the glands that release every calming hormone I’ve ever seen?”

“The glands. Since those weren’t ever on any disclosed list that I read. Although I suppose I could ask Ivy if they were intended since she pirated all of the information from Yggdrasil.” David groaned.

“What the fuck. Okay. Thank you for finding a medical professional before you tried to stab yourself, even if it does mean you’re inflicting this on me. Let me get the first-aid kit.” David gently put Anarchy on the table, and then the bottle of rum, and then pulled himself up off the floor. “We’re also not doing this in the carpeted living room. The kitchen has tile floors. Go wait in there.” Lyf nodded and scooped up Anarchy. They padded off to the kitchen, dematerializing the cider and mug and picking up the cups and saucers and pot to clean. It was nice to wash them and put them on the side to dry in a clean sink, since the Mechanisms might clean their plates but they didn’t quite grasp cleaning the sink afterwards. There were sounds of David rummaging coming in from the hallway, and Anarchy was draped around their shoulders, and for a moment Lyf wondered if they could get a window to let in natural light on the Aurora- they wanted to see Marius dappled in late afternoon sun as their hands currently were. They were going to make a room for him to bake in, they decided, a kitchen just for him, and they would make those windows and enjoy stealing the batter and just watching him bake. Lyf had gotten aprons, and hopefully Marius would like them enough to wear them in the kitchen.

David entered the kitchen with the first aid kit and a set of gloves.

“Okay, so I do actually have an extremely basic kit in here, so I’m going to sterilize the scalpel.” He looked pained. “I should clarify for you that doctors should not just stab patients. But since I’d rather you didn’t stab yourself...” Lyf sat down on a stool at the kitchen counter and rolled up their pants leg. “Yes, we’re going to go for the calf. Least possibility of permanent damage if you don’t heal and don’t take care of the wound.”

“Hm. Is this a bad time to tell you that I can turn into a mantis shrimp? Which is my plan if this doesn’t work until it heals so that no one will question me about why I am wounded. Oh, wait, would it be better to test it on a manifested limb?” Lyf narrowed their eyes at the ceiling in thought. “Wait, those must regenerate and everything in that form or Odin would’ve been able to kill me very easily.” David carefully set everything down on the kitchen counter, went back out to the living room, and came back with the bottle of rum. He got out a blender. “David?”

“I’m making strawberry daiquiris for myself for putting up with this.” David went to his freezer and pulled out strawberries and a frozen lime drink before swapping doors to the fridge and pulling out more lime juice and finally swiping bananas off the counter. As he loaded everything in and started the blender, Jason wandered in.

“Honey, it’s only 4pm, why are you making daiquiris?” Over the roar of the blender, David replied.

“Lyfrassir wants to check and see if they are also immortal and can heal now- and no, they haven’t told me why they think this- and was, for once in their life, smart-”

“Hey.”

“No. I’m allowed to say that right now. So they asked me to stab them just a bit to see if it heals. And then mentioned they can turn into a mantis shrimp now. Apparently. Whatever the fuck. And something about manifesting limbs.” Jason nodded and gently shoved David away from the blender and took over daiquiri making functions.

“I’m just a bit eldritch now, is all.”

“And wasn’t Odin dead? Very, dead for decades dead?” Lyf shrugged.

“Apparently she became an eldritch god in the Bifrost and was trying to manipulate me into being a pawn for her, but now she’s actually dead, so it’s, uh, better.” Jason’s eyes were wide. David was on the floor, head in hands. Anarchy had gone over to purr on him, because she was the best octokitten.

“I don’t think anyone thought that could happen. Glad to hear she’s dead! Based on what people have collated she sounded like a nasty piece of work.”

“She was. I’d rather not get into it.”

“No, no, yeah! Whatever you’re comfortable with. Are you also going to be drinking a daiquiri?”

“Sure, why not.” Jason nodded and started adding more food to the blender. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, of course. Honestly, looking over the papers I have to grade, this is going to be helpful. I’m pretty clearly not against wild theories,” Lyf snorted, “yeah, yeah, well. But if you’re presenting them in a public forum or to your teacher, you need to have sources and evidence to back up your shit. It’s already looking bad. So having a nice delicious drink will be helpful.” Jason started pouring the drinks, handed one down to David, one across to Lyfrassir, and left the room with his own. “Hope it goes well! Pop in and say bye before you go.” Lyf nodded. David was slowly but steadily drinking his daiquiri, and Lyf, after tasting it, decided it was pretty good but weak alcohol content, and waited for David to finish having his crisis on the kitchen floor. Jason hadn’t seemed concerned, so Lyf was going to take that cue.

**Hey love might be a bit later than expected. Just wanted to let you know.**

**Probably won’t be but <3**

**Thanks for letting me know! We’re having a fun time ransacking shipyards for parts so we might all be a bit late back as well.**

**So much good shit. Nastya is still salty that we didn’t bring anything back from New Midgard**

**Yeah. We had better ships. I’m not surprised.**

**K I’m going to focus**

**Ye same**

Marius alerted, Lyf decided to spend the time waiting for David to slowly finish his daiquiri purchasing books. Sure, Ivy would have them all pirated, but it was polite to support the authors he liked. They’d downloaded a lot of books and music by the time David sighed and carefully nudged the empty glass onto the counter from the floor.

“Alright. Stabbing. Do you want me to try it on a manifested limb?”

“Hm, no, I already know that they regenerate, although maybe not if I’m human?” Lyf manifested a tentacle in the air, picked up the scalpel, and sliced it against it as David scrambled up and lunged for the scalpel. It hurt, but as Lyf removed the scalpel it was already healing, and Lyf dismissed it as David grabbed Lyf’s wrist.

“Don’t just stab yourself! I don’t- was that a tentacle? Don’t answer that I know it was. Lyfrassir. What is the point of going to your doctor if you’re going to just - slice yourself open?”

“Well, I was pretty sure they would regenerate. And you were right there. It’s not like you or I know the composition of these limbs, so I might as well test it. If anything had gone wrong you were, again, right there.” David sighed and gently took the scalpel from Lyfrassir.

“That’s not the point. The point is that even if you can regenerate there’s no reason to be quite so careless about it. You still feel. I can’t do any brain scans on you, but I doubt you’ve had time to get adjusted to that reality. So give yourself time to ease into it- don’t force it. I think it’s fairly reasonable to say that if your... manifested limbs... can heal than so can you. You don’t need to injure yourself to find out, and I’d rather not injure you either.” David carefully put the scalpel down.

Lyf snatched it up and stabbed the back of their hand through, careful not to nick the table. The blood that came out was still red, if a darker red than they ever saw from other humans outside of Yggdrasil, but that was alright, they already knew that was because of their blood oxygen saturation. David was glaring at Lyfrassir.

“I didn’t invite you over to enable you.” Their hand was itching. Lyf looked down, and saw that blood was already running back, and yanked the scalpel out before the wound healed over it. The blood ran off of the scalpel and back to Lyfrassir, and in a few seconds there was no sign of a wound but a rainbow scar. “Lyfrassir.”

“You don’t know the Mechanisms.” Now David was looking worried. “They’re all immortal, David. So part of just their normal interaction with each other is violence- it’s just like saying hello, or indicating annoyance. I needed to know. And if you weren’t going to do it, I was. It’s not like I could go find a doctor if I did get injured.” David groaned.

“I really, really wish I could go back in time and single-handedly beat up Odin and her whole family and then institute a healthier government. I realize that there’s nothing I can do to help with this, but you really need to be aware that none of this is- healthy. Check the galactic net. Someone has to have published ‘so you came from a totalitarian government and you have trauma about that’. Read it. Please.”

“Sure, if it’ll make you feel better. It was really pretty good, though, especially compared to Odin.”

“That- doesn’t make it good! Lyfrassir, it really doesn’t make it any better. Please. At least try to find a book on it.” Lyfrassir nodded.

“Ivy will probably have something. If you want me to not contact you after this, I understand.” David’s head whipped up from where he was cleaning the scalpel to meet Lyfrassir’s eyes.

“If this was a way to burn your bridges, you shouldn’t have let Jason have your phone number.” Mmmmm. “Just please don’t do that again. You’ve learned what you need to. There’s no need to test it again. So don’t. Or I’ll- figure out how to contact the Mechanisms and tell on you.” Lyf wasn’t sure if the Mechanisms had an official galactic net fan page, actually. They might.

“Wait, do you think their concert was so popular because of a galactic net fan page instead of D’Ville hacking my computer to play a whole album and then my coworkers spreading the music around?”

“Probably.” David closed the first aid kit and tucked it into a cabinet. “Anything else you want to talk about?”

“Would you like to pet Anarchy?” Lyfrassir held out the purring octokitten. David took her and carefully pet her. He looked like he was getting a lot of soothing out of it, so Lyfrassir was happy to share their therapy octokitten. Probably for the best, Anarchy would know if Lyf was being self-deprecating and bite them. Now that David had pointed it out, maybe he had wanted to burn his bridges. Brian was technically a doctor. They could’ve asked him. But this wasn’t the Yggdrasil system and everyone here wasn’t going to die in a rainbow event horizon and so Lyf could maintain some connections to it, even if there was really only David and Fiona and maybe Jason. Anarchy was plopped back into their lap, and bit his nose.

“It’s getting dark. Probably time for you to get going if you don’t want your space pirate friends getting worried and coming after you, and we just redecorated.” Lyf laughed. “Look, if they started a revolution I don’t want to know what just a part of that is, and I don’t want it to happen in my living room.”

“No, it’s a fair point. I don’t know if they’ll be coming back to the system, but if they do while, I, uh, can, I’ll visit you.” David smiled at Lyfrassir.

“I’d like that, although please warn me and don’t have them land that ship in my yard. It’s not big enough.” Lyf went out and got their shoulder bag, and nestled Anarchy into it.

“I did get you a good-bye gift. Well, I say I got, I had it and just hadn’t told you.” Lyf pictured the book where it was in the Holt, and overlaid it on the table, erased, and there it was, the one piece of incredibly contraband information that his mothers had had and given to them. It was a leather-bound book of Ygdrassilian history, dating from before Odin’s family came into power and updated through New Midgard, the pages were individual screens in order to contain all the information, and it was still multiple pounds of weight. Ivy had copied it for them, excited to get her hands on information that she hadn’t found in her search, and Lyfrassir couldn’t imagine that it had a long life ahead of it on the Aurora (although he had copied it directly for Ivy’s library) so they wanted the original somewhere somewhat safer. David hovered his hands over the embossed cover.

“Is this a history? Almost none of those ever left the system...”

“Any that did would’ve been heavily edited. That’d be a death and torture sentence if there was still anyone to carry it out. But there’s not, and I’d like it to be in the hands of someone who will appreciate it. I locked it to read-only, but Ivy helped me make it read in both Old Norse and Lotus Common. So you can keep up.” David’s gaze flicked between Lyfrassir and the book.

“Heavily edited. You’re implying this isn’t?” Lyf shrugged expansively.

“Every history is edited. But that’s got what was put down by the losers and resistance alongside what Odin’s family put down, so you can draw your own conclusions. And I learned a little bit of an eldritch trick, so if anyone comes looking for it they’ll think it’s a recipe book. Don’t want the government to take it now.” David carefully opened the cover.

“Lyfrassir, this is a lot.”

“I trust you with it. Just try to treat it well- it’s lasted almost a millennia getting moved from format to format and I’d like it to last longer.” David nodded.

“I’m glad you trust me with it. Although a bit concerned that you can apparently teleport things.”

“It’s new, and I’m practicing, but I’ve gotten pretty good at small objects.” Lyf’s phone buzzed with a call. “One moment.” He raised the phone to his ear. “Marius? What’s up.” Through the phone, Marius’ voice sang.

“Do you want a riiiide? I stole a very fast experimental car. It hovers much higher and I am having a lot of fun with it and I thought you might want a ride before Tim or Nastya take it apart for parts.” Despite themself, Lyf felt their mouth quirk into a smile.

“Sure. Sounds like fun. One moment.” Lyf covered the phone’s microphone. “David, are you okay if one of them, my boyfriend, picks me up? He’s stolen a car. I understand if you’d rather not have that specific scrutiny.” David rolled his eyes.

“We’re already going to get that kind of scrutiny from you dropping by. What’s having a space pirate drop by in a stolen car.” Jason burst into the room.

“One of the Mechanisms is coming here? Can I ask them questions?” Lyf uncovered the mic.

“Yeah, it’s cool, I’ll text you the address I’m at.”

“Love you!”

“Love you too, Marius.” Lyf hung up and sent Marius the address. When they looked up, Jason and David were looking very happy at them. “Uh.”

“Lyfrassir, I thought you were certain you were never going to find a partner!” David was clasping Jason’s hand now. The two of them were not getting less happy. It was very directed. Lyf wondered if it was too late to send Marius a different address.

“I- well.”

“How did you two meet?” Jason gently led Lyf to a chair. “Just recently?”

“No? We met in the Yggdrasil system?” Lyfrassir wasn’t sure why everything was coming out in a questioning tone of voice. “But Marius was busy being annoying and whipping out a violin to sing at every possible opportunity that he and his friends weren’t escaping to cause more chaos, and when that wasn’t happening he was in a cell with Raphaella and Ivy, and I only found out recently that the violin and singing was him flirting. Badly. For decades. Then I met him again when the Mechanisms came for their concert and I tried to corral them and he was still hot and also, honestly, nice to be around and talk to.” Jason tried to strangle down a laugh, but gave into it and just leaned into David for support. David sighed, but at least he had a response other than laughter.

“That’s definitely a story. Wait. Does that mean that Von Raum and Marius are the same person?”

“First and last names, yes.”

“Jason. You know what that means.” Jason stopped laughing to pout at David. “No. You’ve lost the bet. You didn’t put a timeframe on it. Fork it over.” David leaned in to glare as Jason.

“I don’t have that much money on me right now. I’ll put it in the vacation jar next time I go to the bank.”

“Bet?” David turned his head back to Lyfrassir.

“I... might have anonymized the details but given the basics and said that one of my patients definitely had a crush they weren’t admitting to. And based on how you complained about him... well.” David smirked, the first time Lyfrassir had seen that expression. “So I win the bet. Which I guess technically isn’t anonymous any more, but given that you just told Jason all of that, that doesn’t matter.”

“I- I wasn’t- I didn’t-” Lyf spluttered for an excuse or a denial, but the more they thought about, the more they realized that yes, that made total sense to believe. It wasn’t like it had been wrong, either. Lyfrassir just thought they’d been more subtle about it. “Well. We’re together now. After we started dating,” could it be called that? Well, after their first makeout under a table, “he did come and rescue me from an extrajudicial kidnapping, so he feels the same way.”

“That’s sweet in a weird way, but that’s probably what happens when you’re with a space pirate, huh? Try to avoid kidnapping. Can you take self-defense classes on a spaceship?” Jason bit his lip. “Carry a taser gun?” Lyf was not going to mention that the problem was that they had assumed it was just normal for extrajudicial kidnappings to happen.

“I am carrying a taser gun, if that makes you feel better.” David and Jason nodded. Cool, maybe that could end the conversation.

“You should probably still take self defense classes though,” Jason continued, “and all the resistance to the police stuff that people put out-” a horn honked outside. Thank you, Marius. Lyf jumped up and grabbed their bag and scooped Anarchy back into it.

“That’s Marius! I had better get going. There’s probably a police chase. Lovely to meet you Jason, I’ll message you when I have some answers.” Lyf padded to the front door and slipped their shoes back on. Jason and David followed them to the door, and Lyf awkwardly side-hugged both of them before jogging out to Marius, who had the door open, and jumping it. They waved goodbye, buckled in, and Marius was off, although at a more sedate speed than Lyf would’ve expected.

“So, have fun?” Lyf nodded.

“I got a lot done, said goodbye to Fiona, and my doctor- David McAlister- and met his husband, Jason McAlister. Presumably. I didn’t ask if they had the same last name. Jason told me there’s conspiracy theories out there about me. And all of you. How was your day?” Marius leaned over and hugged Lyf, raising up a leg and using it to steer. It was nice, if incredibly unsafe.

“It was good! We stripped a few shipyards for parts, Aurora always needs parts, and then went off to do our own things, and I found this great car and thought hey, let’s pick up Lyfrassir!” Marius let go of them with a peck on their lips, and Lyf knew that they were in a speeding car, but also they didn’t want to let go. They did, though. “And now I’ve picked you up and we’re in a car chase! So I’m slowing down so that they can catch up. It’s lame if they think they lost you, and this is your first time from this side of things!”

“Hah, well, yes, it definitely is. C’mon, I don’t even see any police. Are you sure they haven’t lost you?” Marius did a u-turn, whipping around a house, and started heading back.

“You’re right! I saw a police station a bit back there, maybe if I do a couple of donuts around them they’ll come out to have fun?” Lyfrassir snorted.

“Speaking as someone who’s done the other side of this, it’s not really fun unless you’re a daredevil driver. But maybe we’ll get lucky and you can get a real chase going.” Marius grinned at Lyfrassir, open and beaming and if Marius could glow then he probably would be in happiness. They came up on the police station eventually, and as cars piled out of the station to follow them, Marius whooped in joy and laughter and Lyf felt themself caught in his infectious joy, and started offering tips and tricks on how to make it last longer and be more fun with their experience on the other side.

By the time they drove up a closing ramp to the Aurora, tumbling out of the car and kissing as she lifted off, Lyfrassir was full of happiness, and feeling almost like they could float from the sheer giddiness, and the two of them found themselves kissing on the ceiling, as Lyfrassir’s joy did buoy the two of them up, and as the joy slowly went back to a simmer, they floated back down, still kissing, joy rising and falling within the two of them.

When they finally broke apart, Lyf tangled their hands in Marius’ hair and gently pulled him in to start braiding his hair. It was long enough for a french braid, and Lyf made it in two lines around Marius’ brow, and kissed stars into existence in the gaps. _Mine_ , they were saying, _loved_ , they marked him, _protected_ they spun into him. And though Marius had no such powers, he returned the favor, taking the stars that Lyfrassir gave him and twining them into their own hair, kissing their brow and cheeks and lips and pressing love, love love into them, and Lyfrassir couldn’t imagine a better moment, until Marius brought them into the Holt, and they closed the door, and they had a moment that was a different shade but the same perfection.

It couldn’t last forever, of course, because no moment could, but when it was done, Lyfrassir could spend time with the rest of the Mechanisms, learning them and how to fit a new person into a well-oiled dynamic, having weeks and years and decades and so on to learn how they fit, have interactions and learn to play an instrument. No one quite fit into traditional ship’s roles, but Lyfrassir least of all, especially when at any moment their cousin might decide to whisk them off for a lesson. At least the first one outside the Lotus system had become about the gross manipulation of personal time when Lyfrassir had thrown a fit about leaving the Mechanisms alone for possible years. Time passed very strangely in eldritch realms. 

So they went around and did odd jobs, usually, as the Aurora directed, or helped someone else with their area of speciality, and whenever the ship landed Ashes loved being able to give Lyfrassir a shopping list and know that it would actually get completed. It didn’t take years or even months for Lyfrassir to decide he needed to deal with a very specific problem, and Raphaella was happy to help them analyze a specific, non-Anarchy octokitten.

“I want to clarify that I don’t know how this happened.” Raphaella was reading one of the screens in her lab, wings fluttering in excitement. “I had nothing to do with this, and it was probably just a freak occurrence that happens with the octokittens. They mutate all the time. Anarchy can use a gun now, and I’ve never seen that happen before.” Anarchy, in her high-vis vest and high-vis gun holster, murped at Raphaella, who reached over with a wing and gently patted her on the head.

“So the answer is? Why does this octokitten keep on trying to eat Marius, Raphaella?” The octokitten in question was half as large as Lyfrassir, now, contained in an air-tight tank after it had been determined that it didn’t really need air.

“Well, it looks like it ate some of Jonny, then got shot by someone else through Jonny, and picked up on his cannibalistic tendencies. Which I didn’t think could happen! This is a real breakthrough for science, Lyfrassir. I will have to explore what other traits could be grafted onto the octokittens. Imagine, an octokitten with a desire to archive! Ivy could have consistent assistants. Maybe they could learn how to cook. I could use a lab assistant that could put food in me.” The Marius-eating octokitten rocked back and forth in the tank as Raphaella danced up to it. “Oh, although this does have some interesting implications in that in order to bond there’s got to be some sort of octokitten-like DNA in us, so I’m going to be studying that as well.” Lyfrassir thought about that for a moment. It would make sense for the Mechanisms, since they did many of the things that cats did to express affection or annoyance, but Lyf wasn’t sure DNA worked like that. Maybe it did, when you were already breaking the laws of the universe by being immortal. It would explain why the Mechs kept on offering activities that could be defined as doing your own things in the same room, showing up in rooms that they were in and just sitting there, and how Marius showed affection much like Anarchy and they themself did as a shrimp. But there were more important considerations.

“Could you help make sure that that one doesn’t eat Marius, first? I know he says he’ll come back even if it eats him down to the arm, but I don’t want to wait for that. And he keeps on washing off the pet-repellent I got.” Raphaella poked a finger at the tank and cooed when it tried to snap at her.

“That stuff is nasty, Lyfrassir, I’m not surprised. I’ll see what I can do, but can’t you just give it a little eldritch poke?” Lyf frowned.

“I don’t know if I can do permanent compulsion, Raphaella. And Jonny was upset enough when I told you all.”

“Hmmm. Well, at least you already knew you couldn’t die.”

“Not incredibly comforting when you can still feel pain.”

“Aw, you only did it to him accidentally once. He got over it pretty quickly.”

“I would still rather not find out.” Lyf gently petted Anarchy. “It’s not really the sort of power I want to have, Raphaella.” She let out an over-dramatic sigh.

“Well, whenever you want to test your limits or whatever, I’m still here.” Raphaella turned back to them, wings spread, eyes sparkling. “Making the eye exam was _incredibly_ fun and I’d love the chance to get to do more!”

“I know you would.”

“It doesn’t bother me!”

“I know it doesn’t. The octokitten, Raphaella.” She pouted, her wings curving down.

“I’ll see what I can do, and I’m sure Aurora can tell you if it escapes. Aurora dear? You wouldn’t mind helping out Lyfrassir and alerting them if this specific octokitten disappears?” The screens of data fizzed out and were replaced with Aurora’s message.

 **Of course I can do that. If, in return, you get Marius to actually show up to their violin jam sessions.** Lyf sighed.

“No concept of time, that man. Yes, I can help with that.”

 **Then go find him. She’s waiting.** Lyf slipped off the stool.

“Thank you, Raphaella. Let me know if there’s anything I can help you with?” She grinned and shooed him off.

“You brought me some wonderful science Lyfrassir, it’s fine. Have fun tracking down Marius!” Lyf waved goodbye, and went to track down Marius. Honestly, there weren’t many places that he probably was, but there were always the improbable ones, so Lyf paused and leaned against the corridor wall before letting their mind spread out, looking for Marius.

 _Marius._ Marius looked up from where he was- in the bowels of the ship, reading a book. Huh. No wonder Aurora hadn’t just contacted him herself, he was probably deep enough that Aurora didn’t yet have terminals there.

“Lyfrassir?”

 _Violin jam session. You’re missing it. Aurora wanted me to let you know._ And Lyfrassir soothed the message with the gentle impression of a kiss. For someone who had little to no coping mechanisms to deal with his time-blindness, Marius certainly felt horrible when he missed things. _I’ll start reminding you._ Marius got up and started running along the corridors. _I’ll put your violin with Nastya, love._ And with another impression of a kiss and a slight squeeze of a hug, Lyf went to their shared rooms and arrived just ahead of Marius to Nastya’s jam room. Nastya thanked them, and made sure they were still on for tonight. Nastya was teaching them how to maintain the Aurora. She maintained all of the vital systems, but with another set of hands, she hoped to be able to cover more space outside of those systems and not have bits repurposed for explosives. Lyfrassir was happy to help, and grateful that Nastya and the Aurora had agreed that it was for the best if they didn’t try to do anything eldritch to fix things, especially before they knew how it worked.

Lyfrassir had gotten to fit the the Holt in as an attachment to Marius’ rooms without changing the Aurora’s outside appearance, though, and Marius was currently enjoying lording it over everyone else that he had the largest set of rooms, so they were just waiting to be asked to do something similar to the other’s rooms. Maybe they’d find out everyone’s birthdays and do it for them then. It could be an ongoing project, like helping Tim figure out the best possible catapult gun for them as a mantis shrimp.

“I don’t think there really needs to be a new gun on the Aurora to launch me at ships.” Tim thrust the blueprints closer to Lyfrassir’s face.

“It would be cool. We could win battles before they begin. Are you saying you don’t want to launched through space at high velocity?” Lyf could not say that. “I know you enjoy the tiny shrimp catapult gun.” Lyf did enjoy the tiny shrimp catapult gun. “Please?” Lyf heaved a sigh. “Thanks! Let’s get building. Quick space walk because I will need to take some measurements.”

“I don’t actually get that big unless I want to. I can fit in your workshop. Especially if you want me to expand it a bit.” Tim shrugged.

“I like it cramped, honestly, but undo it when we’re done and sure.” Lyf pushed, and expanded the space until there was enough room for multiple of his sort-of-default sized mantis shrimp form. From there, they transformed and had a nice lie-down while Tim measured things and draped various materials over them and asked how they thought they would feel. Frankly, Lyf didn’t really care what the catapult gun was made out of. At one point, Marius climbed up them and lay down.

“Don’t you still have somewhere to be, Marius? I’m busy designing this new gun for the Aurora and me and also Lyfrassir.”

“Nope! Nastya and the Aurora got distracted. I’ve got nothing to do and I want to spend it taking a nap on my partner. Just ignore me.” Lyf opened an eye to watch Tim and another one to watch Marius. Tim reached up with a broom and started hitting Marius. “I- hey! Assault! Rude! I’m just going to nap!”

“I need Lyfrassir to move around soon and they won’t do that if you’re going to fall off of them!” Lyf solved the problem by manifesting some tentacles and wrapping Marius in place. “.. Fine.”

“It was a simple solution, Tim. You don’t need to worry.” Tim grumbled something under his breath and Lyf did him the courtesy of not listening. Marius turned over on their back and hugged Lyf.

It took longer for Jonny to warm up to Lyf, after Lyf’s careful admission that, looking back on it, they thought they had accidentally compelled him. Lyfrassir of the before they were told didn’t understand, but they were smart enough to understand that when Jonny killed them it wasn’t because of them and their honest apology and promise but because of something that they weren’t trusted enough to know about, yet, a subject that everyone around the ship danced around like someone picking their way through a field of glass and mines and barbed wire. When Lyf had carefully broached the question to Raphaella, she had just patted him on the back and said at least their method of gaining immortality was clearly very different, which hadn’t actually told them anything. Dying had been strange, the first time, a swirl of Bifrost pouring from Lyf’s head that they had had to frantically clean up and re-absorb before it went anywhere the moment they came back to consciousness, their cousin’s laugh ringing in the back of their head as the hole closed up. When Jonny included them in the pre-disembarking makeup party, grabbing the eyeliner out of their hands (they had never really use it before) and fixing it for them, Lyfrassir figured they were forgiven.

Brian didn’t even ask for an apology after Lyfrassir presented him with unbreakable drumsticks and a scent diffuser with a number of calming options. He just nodded and invited Lyf to sit with him while he made dinner. He was also quite happy to discuss the conspiracy theories about Lyfrassir with them, as he was, besides Ashes, the only one who actually kept up with the theories around the crew.

“There’s people out there that think that I’m some sort of secret spy assassin robot, Brian. I don’t think I give off those energies at all. Fiona agrees with me, I texted her, she said that if I was any robot I would be a robot built to be annoyingly good at paperwork.” Brian sipped at the broth.

“Wouldn’t they know if you were a robot if you tripped or walked into a wall? I know I always clang something awful.”

“Apparently I am ‘covered in flesh so that I can fool the common eye’ but they have 10 signs I’m secretly a robot and all of them are just being a considerate human being to your coworkers. You, too, can always turn on the coffee pot so that it’s never empty and clean up after yourself in the workplace.”

“I certainly don’t do those things all the time.” Lyf nodded.

“It’s just silly. And then there’s one where I was never from Yggdrasil, and was actually a government experiment the whole time that got loose and they just decided to see how I would function in normal society. Apparently badly enough that people thought I was a robot. It’s just _polite_! Some of those people would’ve been fired with extreme prejudice in the Yggdrasil system.” Lyf grumbled and continued to scroll the list. “Most of them, really. There were no laws in that workplace.” Brian stopped chopping the meat to turn and look at Lyfrassir, his head making a full 180.

“Lyfrassir, I can’t say for certain, but based on the galactic net, I’m afraid that those are not fireable offenses anywhere unless they are part of a larger problem.” Lyf hunched their shoulders forward. “I’m sure that must have been a very large change from what you were used to, though. Have you read about the theory that Jonny’s eyeliner is actually a sign that his eyes are part of another creature, and it is attempting to escape?” Lyf giggled.

“No, what, really?”

“Yes. It was very popular for a few years, and quite annoying for Jonny. However, as nothing was going to convince Jonny to not wear his eyeliner, it wasn’t quashed until Nastya shot out one of his eyes during a concert when he insulted her sense of style. Apparently seeing an eye grow back was all that rumor needed to die.” Brian slid a disc of dough and a bag of flour across the table to Lyfrassir. “Stop reading those theories and roll out the dough. It needs to be about 3 millimeters thick. When you think you’re there, let me know.”

“It’s just- ridiculous! What’s the point of making all these theories? They’re so popular there’s whole videos of them, and people seem almost obsessed with them and finding out the truth. I don’t understand it.” Lyf dusted the flour on the table and started to roll out the dough with a manifested rolling pin.

“People like a story. That’s why. They’ll make up stories about anyone. Yours just happened to get more popular than most because it was more exciting, like ours. I’d get used to it and learn to laugh about it, if you can.” Lyf pressed down with their frustration on the dough. “Ashes likes to put out rumours about all of just to muddy the waters. You could try something similar, if you wanted.”

“What’s the point? Nothing I come up with will be half as interesting as what their minds have already churned out. I could tell them the truth and people wouldn’t believe me.” Lyf dusted the dough with more flour.

“Well, that’s an idea. We can go anywhere, and I am the pilot. If you find out how to schedule an interview with someone so that you can answer questions, at least that will make you feel better.” Lyf thought about it. The process of rolling out the dough calmed them down, which was, they suspected, the point.

“I suppose I’ll ask Jason if he has a recommendation. He’d know where most of the conspiracy theorists go to get their news.” Lyf manifested a ruler. “The dough is 3 millimeters thick.” Brian turned away from frying veggies and meat, and dusted the dough with more flour, before folding it into thirds and chopping even lengths down the line of dough.

“Thank you, Lyfrassir. Could you please find people and let them know dinner will be ready in less than 30 minutes?”

“Sure. Want me to force the issue or not?” Brian shrugged.

“If they don’t show up on udon night they deserve to miss it.” That was fair.

Later, Lyf set up an interview with Space Buzzfeed Unsolved at Marius and Jason’s suggestion, after proving that they were in fact Lyfrassir Edda through a series of selfies posing in front of the Mechanisms, which apparently sent the people who ran the channel into conniptions, based on the Space Twitter screenshots that Jason forwarded them. Marius kept on trying to get Lyfrassir to sign up for literally any social media, but it mostly seemed like a waste of time, and so Lyfrassir hadn’t yet bothered. Ashes gave Lyfrassir a list of rumors to attempt to pepper in about the Mechanisms during the interview, and also a list of gender jokes that they should try and credit them with creating.

“I feel like no one is going to believe this, Ashes.”

“They believed that I was the first ever pyromaniac, so they could believe these whoppers.”

“I’m sorry, who did what?” And Ashes was off, regaling Lyfrassir with the time they convinced the whole galactic net that they, Ashes O’Reilly, were the first ever pyromaniac in recorded history and anyone who said otherwise was wrong. It was very impressive, and a bit frightening. Lyf begged off of more stories as soon as they were done sorting the box that Ashes had asked them to and went to hang out with Ivy in the library.

The Toy Soldier could often be found in the library, happy to help her organize and reorganize and print and bind books. It was nice, there, sitting peacefully and applying otherwise withered organizational talents to Ivy’s library. Lyf could go there for peace and quiet whenever they needed, and Ivy understood that desire. It had taken a bit of explaining to the Toy Soldier, but after a while it had grasped the concept, and occasionally, if the stars aligned, Lyfrassir could enjoy a book leaning against the Toy Soldier as it practiced its singing, quietly threaded music through the air as Ivy joined in on her flute. She did not allow the trumpet or euphonium in the library. If they were very lucky, Marius would be leaning against their other shoulder, soothed into a nap.

“Lyfrassir.” Lyf hummed a question back at Ivy. They didn’t want to move or open their eyes. Marius was snoring gently on their shoulder, and Ivy and the Toy Soldier had just finished a song about laying in the earth with your beloved, and Lyfrassir felt like that was an ideal state of being. They could almost feel the bark of a tree against their back, and feel the grass under their fingers. “Lyfrassir, there are no trees allowed in the library.”

“Trees Are Just Pre-Books, Ivy! I Do Not Understand!”

“Pre-books can come in one they are books, TS.” Lyfrassir opened an eye and saw that they had, inadvertently, started a tree and a field in the library, and pulled it all back inside. “Thank you, Lyfrassir. Can I suggest going and making your own room to do that in? There is an 86% chance Marius will not wake if you carry him out carefully. This raises to 94% if you can remember the tune and keep humming it.” So Lyfrassir scooped Marius up, and if they had to use more limbs than just their two arms to do it that was fine. They remembered the tune well enough, and as they carried Marius to the Holt, they reached ahead of them, and made a room filled with afternoon sunlight, layered earth and planted trees for the light to dapple gently through, grew grass in a soft pad around their trunks, and decided on a whim to draw water through the room to make an island on which he and Marius could rest, where the babbling of the brook would help soothe them both, and while they did not want to create animal life, it was a simple matter to mimic the buzzing of late summer insects.

As Lyf finished shaping the earth to cradle the two of them in its embrace, they stepped through the door in the Holt to the new room, and the warm afternoon summer sun washed across them, Marius woke enough to murmur something, and Lyf kissed him on the forehead, gently kneeling to the earth with him, and Marius, though only half-awake, was still very fast on this uptake, and opened his arms for Lyf to snuggle into. The doors remained open, but Lyfrassir knew that here no one would pull them away until they were ready to go. Marius and Lyfrassir lay in the calm and peace of the room that Lyfrassir had created, and, bathed in sunshine, they curled together to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3  
> Thank you for reading 116k words, and also my first completed chapter fic!  
> Fun news: orcamermaid, who understands how to use a consistent verb tense in a way that I never will, probably is slowly editing through the fic, so... at some point it will be updated.  
> Hope you enjoyed! The fic and my return, on the final chapter, to posting late at night.


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